The Chances We Take
by Grace Ryan
Summary: Blaine and Kurt have never met until a chance meeting one night at a bar. As the story unravels, their paths continue to cross as if fate is trying to tell them something. Rated M for language and smut.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, I just borrow their characters :)**_

_**Hello my darling readers :)**_

_**If you're reading this then you are reading my 8th story.**_

_**The Chances We Take is A/U and takes place when our favorite Glee characters are about 25 and living in New York City. I've changed some things, but since it's A/U I can do that :P**_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**Kurt**

There was chatter in the ears of Kurt Hummel that he found easy to drown out. Normally he cared. At least, he cared enough to listen. But these days he zoned out and made the appropriate noises and words at the right times. A nod and a noncommittal noise here, a faked interested expression and a lean in there. But it all meant nothing. Kurt was still getting over the sting of a break up.

Shawn, a spontaneous and exciting love interest that caught Kurt's eye in college, dumped him just under a month ago. Shawn was Kurt's second ever boyfriend. Of the two relationships he had, both lasted more than two years and were considered "serious." It was Shawn's spontaneity that attracted Kurt in the first place. Although he was attractive, he wasn't overwhelmingly so. As far as looks went, he was pretty average, but his personality popped in a way that made him look better. Shawn would wake up next to Kurt some mornings and crave food from a restaurant that he saw on the Food Network and they'd go on a day trip to whatever restaurant that took hours to drive to. Other days he'd be cooking dinner and then the kitchen would suddenly become his own personal dance floor. Shawn was fun. Shawn was exciting. Shawn dumped Kurt after two years and three months because he fell in love with someone he made eye contact with in the Brooklyn Zoo (Shawn worked there. He was a vet/animal handler). He claimed he didn't know who this man was, but there was an electric connection and he simply had to find him.

Kurt was devastated. He was dumped for someone that didn't have a name. He was dumped for someone that only had a face. His only feeling was that he wasn't good enough.

"Kurt?"

"Huh?" Kurt blinked and shook himself from his zoning. He was having breakfast at a diner with Puck, Rachel and Finn. Finn was Kurt's stepbrother and Rachel was Finn's new wife. She was also a close friend of Kurt's. Puck was a friend of all of theirs since high school, though they all knew each other since pre-school. They'd finally convinced Puck to move out to New York City from Lima, Ohio and since Kurt now had a reason to need a roommate, Puck moved into the spare room in Kurt and Shawn's apartment. Shawn was the one to move out.

"Seriously, Dude. It's been a month. You need to get over him already," Puck offered.

"There are other guys out there. You'll find someone better," Finn added.

"Guys, let Kurt be sad if he wants. It'll pass when he's ready," said Rachel.

"It's sooo depressing though." Puck was more dramatic than he let on.

"I'm sorry," Kurt began. "Really. I know I'm no fun to be around, but I don't know what to do or where to go from here. Maybe I should have been the one to move out of the apartment. Everything reminds me of him and he didn't take all of his things."

"So throw them out," Puck instructed. "He's not coming back. Man, I love you, but that's the honest truth. He's not coming back and you shouldn't hope for that. Move on. He's not worth it."

"You know what you need?" Finn asked.

Kurt flicked his eyes over to his brother. "What?"

"You need to get laid."

"What!" Rachel and Kurt exclaimed at the same time.

"For real, man." Puck had no problem agreeing with Finn. Honestly it was surprising that the suggestion hadn't come from Puck first, as he was the lothario of hearts. He brought home different women all the time, sometimes twice in one day; Kurt was honestly surprised Puck didn't have a horde of children or a venereal disease. "Get back in the saddle. You need at least a rebound. You know, someone to think about while you're forgetting about what's his name."

"Shawn."

"Yeah, I know. I was trying to help you forget about him."

"Puck, I'm not so sure forgetting is the best policy. Shouldn't I learn from experiences?"

"Yes," added Finn. "Take the experiences you had in bed and use them after picking some dude up."

"Finn, no. It's gross that you just said that. I'm not that kind of guy."

"How do you know if you haven't tried?"

"I don't want to try."

"Do you _want_ to be miserable? Because you're fighting everything," Rachel offered as help. "Why don't you just try going out? You don't have to take someone home, but go out. Meet some people, talk to new people; do something fun."

"I don't-"

"Do it," Puck concluded. "I'm locking you out tonight unless you agree to go out."

Kurt sighed in defeat.

That was the antecedent that brought him to be sitting at Jericho, one of many popular gay hang outs in the city. He used to go there with Shawn and the group of gay friends that Kurt met through Shawn, but they hadn't been in a long time because they never went without the other and Kurt's been pretty busy with work. He felt his first mistake was going alone. He should have called up one of his friends to go with him. Instead, Kurt was sitting alone at the bar, nursing a Midori Sour.

**Sebastian**

Sebastian was standing in the mezzanine of Jericho. He was leaning on the bars of the balcony and overlooking all the dancing men, trying to pick one out of the many to take home or end up in the back room with. His friends, Trent, John, and Thad were crowded around him, going on about something or other that Sebastian wasn't paying attention to because he was too busy ogling the men below and critiquing them all because, far be it, for Sebastian to take home a man who qualified as less than an eight on his scale of hotness.

He caught the eye of a pretty little thing on the dance floor and considered him for a second, but then remembered that he took him home two weeks ago and the pretty little thing had just that: a pretty **little** thing. His eyes wandered on. John moved behind him and wrapped his arms around Sebastian's middle and pressed himself close. "Come on," he said. "I want to dance."

"Dance with yourself. I'm busy." Sebastian didn't budge or shrug John off because the attitude in his voice was enough to give John the hint to back off. After another two minutes Sebastian smiled. "There," he said aloud.

"What?" Trent asked.

"Gentleman, I've found my new boyfriend for the evening."

"Where?" John asked.

"Over by the bar. See the one sitting by himself and not talking to anyone?" It was hard to distinguish anyone as alone because the bar was extremely crowded, but near the middle of the pack, there was one man sitting and not talking to people. He seemed to have his eyes fixed on his drink and in the reflection from the mirror behind the bar, Sebastian could just make out the doll-like face of a skinny, brunette with impeccable fashion and perfect hair. The obviously young man had on tighter than tight black jeans and a form fitted, mini vest. No shirt, just the vest. _He's a nine easily._

"Aww," Thad empathized. "He looks sad."

"Guess I'll just have to cheer him up, won't I?" Sebastian immediately started leaving the mezzanine to introduce himself to the sad, but beautiful man at the bar. He left his friends without a goodbye.

**Kurt**

_What am I doing here_? Kurt thought to himself. He'd dressed the way he'd normally dress when going out to a bar, partly scantily clad and partly in clothes that took five minutes to squeeze into because of their tightness factor. He'd been sitting at this bar for an hour, nursing the two drinks he had over the time frame and staring down into his glass. He was dressed to impress or at the very least, dressed to get the attention of someone who'd, for one night, make him forget about Shawn dumping him. The thing was, Kurt didn't want to go home with anyone tonight. He just wanted to go home… alone. _I'm not ready._ He was never the one night stand kind of guy. Kurt was a serial monogamous. He was useless as a single person trying to pick up someone else and utterly devoted as a boyfriend.

"Hello, Porcelain."

A voice roused Kurt from his self loathing in his glass and looked to his right. A tall brunette in white pants and a black mesh top was leaning against the bar and smiling at him with a cocky look in his eyes.

"Porcelain?" Kurt asked. Did he know this person? The nickname was one that he had in high school and hadn't heard anyone call him that since. He didn't look familiar at all and Kurt never forgot a face.

"You look like a sexy version of a porcelain doll. Wanna come out to play, doll?" The tall brunette ran a single finger down Kurt's arm.

Kurt was in shock. He'd never been picked up or hit on by someone as forward as this guy. He gulped. "Um. No thanks. I'm um…"

"Are you here with someone?"

"No."

"Then let's get out of here."

"Oh! Um. N-no no thank you. Th-that's just not my thing."

Tall Brunette narrowed his eyes, but still smiled. "Sweety, look around you, that's everyone's thing."

"Not mine."

"Then what are you doing here?"

Kurt looked down and turned back to his glass, hoping that Tall Brunette would go away if Kurt pretended he wasn't there.

Tall Brunette took a breath. "Sorry. You're almost finished with your drink. Let me apologize by buying you another."

"No thank you. I'm leaving when this one is done."

"Please? I want to buy you a drink." Tall Blonde ignored Kurt and leaned across the bar. "Blaine!" he called to the bartender.

The handsome bartender, who's name Kurt now knew was Blaine, came over and spread his arms onto the wooden bar. He was short, but not too short and had the most incredibly attractive roman haircut that went perfectly with his dark brown curls. He wore a form fitted, very tight, black tank top. Kurt appraised him for a second and looked back to Sebastian, still hoping he'd go away.

"No really, I don't want another drink. I appreciate-"

"Nonsense. I'll leave you alone. I just want to get you a drink."

"What can I get for you, Sebastian?" Blaine asked with an expression that read as forced pleasantry from a person who was being paid to be nice to everyone, even the people he knew and disliked.

_Sebastian,_ Kurt compartmentalized. _At least he has a name._

Sebastian slapped a twenty dollar bill on the bar in front of Blaine. "Get this beautiful man here anything he wants, on me." He put his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "See? Not so bad. Just a drink. I hope to see you again, Porcelain." Sebastian turned and melted into the endless crowd of dancing men.

**Kurt**

"You're lucky," Blaine said, trying to engage Kurt. "Sebastian usually doesn't take no so quickly."

"He didn't really take no. I didn't want the drink."

"That's Sebastian. He has to feel like he has the upper hand."

"You two know each other?"

"Unfortunately. We went to the same high school and went to the same college. Notice how I didn't say 'together.' I couldn't stand him then and I can't stand him now. We aren't friends. Wow. Sorry. I don't even know you am I'm getting all personal. Sorry. I'm Blaine."

"Kurt."

Blaine smiled. Kurt liked the way his face looked when Blaine smiled. His eyes crinkled. It was cute. "What can I get for you, Kurt?"

"Nothing, thank you. I didn't want the drink in the first place. You can have the money though. Take it as a tip for having to deal with him for so long."

Blaine smiled again and took the twenty dollar bill. He tucked it in his pants pocket. "You know, I'd normally never take it, but seeing as how the person who's twenty dollars this is, is Sebastian Smyth, I'll take it. You sure you don't want anything?"

"No thanks." Kurt took the last sip from his glass. "I'm leaving anyway. It was stupid of me to come out in the first place."

"I beg to differ." Blaine smiled again, but this time his expression was softer, almost like he was innocently flirting.

"Blaine!" yelled another bartender down the line. "Get to work!"

Blaine looked back at Kurt. "See you around, Kurt." Blaine smiled once more and went to attend to a customer in drag.

"Bye," Kurt answered. He caught his own reflection in the mirror and realized he was blushing. _Hopefully he thought it was because I was drinking and it's warm in here._ Then he rolled his eyes when he realized he cared what the bartender he'd never seen before thought of him.

Kurt hopped up off the bar stool and exited Jericho. When he was waiting for the subway train to arrive he pulled out his phone and shot a text to Rachel, who, despite the late hour, he knew was awake and rehearsing steps for her mid morning audition.

**K- The bar idea was a flop.**

**R- Aww : ( Did you get rejected?**

**K- No! Way to go on building up my self esteem. What makes you think I was the rejected one? I was picked up by a really attractive guy.**

**R- And…?**

**K- I sent him away. I couldn't go home with him.**

**R- Why not? You deserve a night of fun.**

**K- I wouldn't call the awkwardness after the random hookup as fun. Sex means something to me, Rachel.**

**R- Yeah, I'm pretty sure your dad ruined sex for you when he gave you the talk.**

**K- He didn't ruin it for me. I love sex just as much as the next guy, but I like it when there's feelings involved. Anyway, what do you know? You've only had sex with one person and you're married to him.**

**R- Not everyone can be as lucky as me.**

**K- Why are we still friends?**

**R- If nothing else, it's because I'm your brother's radiant wife.**

**K- That's right. My Shining Sister In-Law.**

**R- : ) So are you going home?**

**K- Yeah.**

**R- Was there anything good about the night?**

**K- The bartender was cute. He had a really nice smile. But he has to smile because he wants tips.**

**R- Did he flirt?**

**K- I don't know. Maybe? It wouldn't matter anyway because he's probably straight. Most bartenders at gay bars are. Gay men tip WAY better than anyone else.**

**R- Too bad.**

**K- I'm not ready to put myself out there yet, so it doesn't matter.**

**R- Hang in there. You'll be over Shawn in no time.**

**K- Train's here. Good night Rachel.**

**R- Good night! **

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><p><strong><em>So, what does everyone think?<em>**

**_Please Review!_**

**_Sometimes I post behind the chapter stuff on my tumblr page_**

**_URL: grace-ryan_**

**_Stick around for chapter 2: you learn more about Blaine's and Kurt's life and what they're both doing in NYC :P_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Kurt**

Kurt stumbled out of his room around eight in the morning rubbing his eyes and wishing that he could have at least one day where he could sleep in, but no. Between working on his Master's degree, internship, and part time job, he had little time for much else. He was surprised he even convinced himself that he had time to go out to Jericho last night. In reality, he didn't because his late night excursion took time away from working on one of two papers that was due next week. Now his entire day would be spent in the library at NYU and burying his nose in piles of books. He'd give himself a one hour break for lunch and leave by three in the afternoon because he had to get home and take a nap before going in for an overnight shift at his internship at ten o'clock.

"We're out of coffee," Puck stated when Kurt walked into the kitchen.

Kurt groaned. "It's okay. I'll get some on my way to the library."

"How was your night?" Puck smiled as he looked down into the pan he was fussing over with scrambled eggs.

Kurt groaned again. "A waste of time."

"Oh come on. There had to be plenty of hotties there for you to try and pick up. It must have been packed seeing as how it was Friday night."

"There were a lot of guys there, but I didn't want to be there in the first place. You made me go and I didn't want to go home with anyone. I had a couple drinks and talked to a couple people. Then I left."

"You are officially turning into an old man. You need to loosen up. You're in the best years of your life and you're spending them in libraries and coffee shops."

"That's because I'm working towards a better life. Do you think I want to be in the library at nine o'clock on a Saturday morning? You're burning your eggs, by the way."

"What's wrong with the life you have now?"

"Uh- besides the massive amount of school loan debt and no time to have a social life? Once I get done with my Master's I'll have a little more time, but then I'll be onto my PhD."

"What do you even need that for?"

"A doctoral degree? Noah, I'm a double major in Psychology and Sociology," Kurt admonished as if the answer was obvious.

"Doctor Hummel."

Kurt huffed, but smiled slightly and poured himself a glass of orange juice from the fridge. He grabbed a small container of fruit salad he made two days ago and walked both items back to his bedroom.

He put the container of fruit on a stack of books on his desk and picked out a piece of watermelon with his fingers, popping it into his mouth, then sucking the juice off the tips. He looked through his closet with his orange juice in hand. Kurt sighed at his collection of clothes. Certainly he had enough clothes to make a fabulous outfit, but he hadn't been shopping in a very long time and it bothered him a little that he let his love of fashion fall by the wayside. He loved his career choice to become a psychiatrist, but he missed his youth that was spent singing, gushing at designs in magazines, and dreaming of a better life where he was out of Lima and a Broadway Star.

But that's not how things worked out. He dropped that dream of stardom and picked up a career choice as a psychiatrist. Well, he really wanted to be a counselor for teens, which didn't require a PhD, but he figured eventually he'd move into psychiatry. His internship currently was as a counselor at a call in center. He took various calls and worked at different lines, which meant that he counseled many different kinds of calls. One line would be as a grief counselor, another would be as a relationship/marriage counselor where he offered advice to the caller, but his preferred line was to be in the room where he took care of the teen suicide calls. Those always made him feel better when he could talk someone off the ledge. He really enjoyed listening to everyone's story, no matter how horrible or silly the callers' problems seemed. Every call was different and special. To Kurt, every call was his high school friend, David Karofsky, calling for help.

David Karofsky was Kurt's former bully turned friend. They had a long, hard road together, but it crushed him when David attempted suicide. That brought them closer and ultimately what caused them to become friends. Kurt realized that David needed someone like him in his life. He needed support that he wasn't getting from anyone else and Kurt felt _obligated _to help, but he also _wanted _to help. Rachel told him once that David was forcing Kurt to be the better man in the situation and Kurt was under no obligation to help David after everything that he had done to Kurt. Kurt just waved away the comment and said that he wasn't being forced to be the better person, he just _was_ the better person. It was because of David's suicide attempt that made Kurt want to be a counselor. He decided the moment he saw David in the hospital bed with a bruise around his neck, that he didn't want to see another child take their own life because life was cruel to them. If he could be there for a stranger that felt alone, maybe he'd help stop the number of teen suicide victims from climbing.

The internship was, thankfully, a paid one, but he didn't make nearly enough money to support himself on that salary alone, so he had another part time job as a Teacher's Assistant at NYU. Kurt was extremely grateful for his father, a congressman of Ohio. His dad's graduation gift to Kurt was a credit card that he said that Kurt could use for whatever he wanted, provided he never maxed it out, and his father would foot the bill. It only had a five hundred dollar limit and Kurt mostly only used it for groceries every now and then. Occasionally he used it to pay his cell phone bill, but that was only for emergencies. While he was very thankful that his father agreed to continue to financially support him, he didn't want to take advantage of the offer. Kurt figured that the trade off would be to return the favor one day and take care of his dad when Burt couldn't take care of himself.

Kurt found an acceptable, yet comfortable outfit that made him fit in with the other stylish New Yorkers, but still would make sitting in a library for the majority of his day that much more bearable. By noon he was, as expected, buried in books, periodicals, and notebook paper. He'd somehow misplaced his highlighter three times and his pen countless times, which often was pressed between his own lips, but forgot it was there, in the organized mess he was creating. Kurt looked at his piles, stacked them properly, and went to retrieve a "reserved" sign from the librarian, promising that he'll be back in an hour. He meant it too because if he was any later than an hour, he'd find all of his things that he left behind gone and he'd have to spend another hour trying to find them. After having that happen to him just once, he decided that it would never happen again.

He grabbed his bag and stuffed his notebooks, pen, and highlighter into his bag. He added his bottle of water to the bag and put on his jacket. It wasn't all that cold outside, but the thin jacket and light scarf suited the weather and the ensemble. Kurt decided on going to the coffee shop down the street and eating lunch there while he worked on putting some of his notes in order. He was very anal about his schoolwork. School was too expensive to let himself slack off. Good grades were the only option, so he worked very hard.

Once he was at the coffee shop, Kurt ordered the biggest size they offered for a non-fat mocha latte, bought another bottle of water, even though he had an unfinished one in his bag, and then grabbed a vegetarian hummus wrap as well. He had an apple in his bag and that was enough to satisfy him for the time being.

Twenty minutes later Kurt was buried in paper again. Only this time he had crumbs, juice from his apple, and hummus smudges to add on his notes. He took the last sip of his coffee, disappointed that it was the last sip because it was arguably the most delicious mocha he'd ever had. This particular coffee shop was, in Kurt's opinion, the best one to go to in the NYU area. Kurt was busy flagging particular notes with post-it color coded flags and that he'd sort through later when he was writing his paper. Each color was a different section of the paper. Red was relating to his hypothesis, green was information for his argument, blue was information against his argument, and yellow was neutral information that edged more toward his hypothesis and negated the anti information.

"Kurt?"

Kurt looked up from his work and saw the handsome bartender from Jericho that he met last night. He was dressed less provocatively: blue jeans, a white oxford shirt with thin purple lines, and a black, v-neck pull over sweater. The sleeves were rolled up neatly to his elbows. _Blaine,_ Kurt remembered. "Hi. Blaine, right?"

Blaine smiled. "Yeah. How's it going?"

Kurt felt a little awkward. He knew nothing about this person other than he works as a bartender, he was hot, and he had a mutual disinterest in the man who hit on Kurt last night. "Um. Fine?" He said it like there was a right or wrong answer to how he was doing.

"You don't sound too positive about that."

"Oh. Um. No. I'm fine," Kurt said with more resolution. "Just busy."

Blaine's eyebrows went up, making him look surprised. "Oh! I'm sorry. I must be interrupting you. You're clearly working. I'll go." Blaine looked flustered and a little embarrassed.

"Wait!" Kurt's voice stopped Blaine from walking away. For as awkward as it was to talk to this stranger, Kurt wanted to keep talking to him. He was nice to look at after all and he was nice enough to come say hello. "I-I'm not _that_ busy. And I'm supposed to be on a lunch break anyway." He hurriedly started to clean up the table of his things. "Sit. Please."

Blaine smiled again and sat down across from Kurt. "You sure? Cause if you're busy I can leave."

"No. Stay. Really." Kurt put everything back in his bag and hung the bag on the back of his chair.

"So, you're a student?"

"Yeah. Graduate Program at NYU. It's kicking my ass right now, but I'm in my final year, so… home stretch."

"How was the rest of your night?"

Kurt thought the question was odd because it was a little personal coming from someone who didn't know him. "Uneventful. Boring, really. I went home and fell asleep watching a movie."

"Which movie?"

"Shakespeare In Love."

"Oh I love that movie!" Blaine exclaimed.

Kurt scrunched his eyebrows together. "You do?" He was under the impression that Blaine was straight and every straight man that he knew had either hated that movie or never heard of it.

"Yeah. Gwyneth Paltrow is amazing."

"She is." Kurt noticed that Blaine didn't have a cup of coffee with him when he sat down. _Odd,_ he thought._ You'd think he'd have coffee in a coffee shop._ "Can I buy you a cup of coffee? I'm going to order another one."

"No. Let me get it. You gave me twenty dollars last night and didn't order anything."

"Technically is wasn't my twenty dollars to give."

"Nevertheless. My treat. What can I get you?"

_What is it with people wanting to buy me drinks these days?_ "Oh. Um. Okay. Non-fat mocha?"

"Coming right up." Blaine left for the front counter to order their coffee.

Kurt quickly took out his phone and sent a text to Rachel. **K- you will NOT believe what I'm doing right now.**

**R- Sitting in a library among stacks of books?**

**K- I'm having coffee with the bartender I met last night.**

**R- OMG the cute one?**

**K- Yeah. He just came up to me and started talking to me then offered to buy me a cup of coffee.**

**R- You said he was probably straight. Is he?**

**K- I don't know. Hard to tell right now. I'll let you know soon.**

**R- What's his name?**

**K- Blaine**

**R- That's a sexy name.**

**K- Rachel!**

**K- He is hot though *blush* Okay I gotta go. He's coming back with our coffee.**

**R- Call me later and tell me everything!**

"Your non-fat mocha, Sir." He put Kurt's coffee down in front of him.

"Can't get away from the bartender mode, can you?" Kurt smiled.

Blaine smiled back and rolled his eyes. "Guess not," he chuckled.

Kurt took a sip of his latte. "Mmm." He smiled when he swallowed the deliciousness of the coffee. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I feel like your enjoying your mocha more than I'm enjoying my medium drip."

"It took me forever to find a café that makes lattes as good as these. Plus it's chocolate and you can't go wrong with that."

Blaine chuckled again. Kurt really liked when Blaine laughed, even if it was a little one. He smiled when he laughed and when he smiled, his eyes smiled too. Kurt couldn't help, but notice the amber color of Blaine's eyes. They were like warm honey.

Blaine sat back in his chair and sipped his coffee. "So, Kurt with no last name, who drinks non-fat mochas and Midori sours, what are you studying?"

"Double major in Sociology and Psychology. Wait, you remember my drink from last night? But you weren't the one who served me."

"It isn't hard to distinguish a drink that's neon green. I don't know of many… also I saw Jeremy making it for you. I was headed over to take your drink order, but Jeremy got to you first."

"Oh. You have a really good memory. You saw over a hundred people last night, yet you remember my face, my name, and my drink order. Blaine looked down, but Kurt could see the slightest of blushes. Kurt's heart started to flutter. _Oh my goodness, he's adorable._

"How come you were there alone?" Blaine asked, trying to change the topic away from himself.

"Uh, my friends made me go out. They're afraid I'm turning into a hermit and think I might lose the ability to function unless I get out of the library once in a while."

"They made you go out, but didn't go with you?" Blaine cocked his head to the side like a curious puppy.

_Can he be any cuter?_ "They're straight. The only other gay friends I have are also friends with my ex. Since I don't want to see or hear anything about him, I'm avoiding the situation all together."

"I know the feeling. I sort of ditched everyone associated with my ex too. He was too high maintenance for me."

"He?" Kurt asked. "You're gay?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry. I just thought you were straight because most bartenders at gay bars are."

Blaine smiled again. "Yeah, I know. I'm the only gay one at Jericho, so I guess I understand your confusion. I just thought it was obvious because I was trying to flirt with you."

Kurt grinned and blushed instantly. He swallowed and blinked his eyes really fast, trying to comprehend what Blaine just said. "Um…" He tilted his head down, not knowing what to say, and caught the screen on his phone. "Oh shit. I gotta go."

"You do?" Blaine asked. He had a tone in his voice that told Kurt that he thought it was because of him.

"Yeah. It's not you. I left a reserved sign on my table and if I'm not there on time, I'm going to lose my stuff and my table. I have, like, seven minutes to get there. It'll take exactly that long." Kurt stood up and grabbed his jacket and bag, not bothering to put his jacket or scarf on. He grabbed his coffee. "I'm sorry. I would love to keep talking to you, but-" He looked at his phone again. Six minutes. "Thanks for the coffee."

"Anytime."

Kurt didn't give himself any more time and took off running, leaving Blaine still sitting at the table. When he arrived back at the library he just caught the librarian approaching his table with a book cart. "Wait. I'm here." He was really out of breath and very thankful that he wore loafers and not boots today. The librarian left, looking annoyed that she had to make the trip over to his table in the first place. It wasn't until Kurt sat back down that he realized he hadn't asked for Blaine's phone number and he didn't know his last name.

**K- I'm an idiot.**

**R- Why?**

**K- I had to leave in a flash and I forgot to give Blaine my phone number or ask for his.**

**R- OOO! So he's gay?**

**K- Yes and he was flirting with me!**

**K- But it doesn't matter because I have no way to contact him.**

**R- You know where he works… ; - )**

**K- *smiles* I do know where he works.**

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><p><em><strong>Thanks to those who reviewed my first chapter :) Much love goes out to jcrissrid, LunaGleek14, marli-slashs fan, gottriplets, and Rombe. I love you sooooooo much!<strong>_

_**Please review!**_

_**Tumblr URL: grace-ryan**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Blaine**

Blaine had two jobs. He was a bartender at Jericho on Friday and Saturday nights and a piano player at a cabaret bar Monday through Thursday. The rest of his time was spent composing, playing in a band with Nick, Jeff, and their lead guitarist Matty, and waiting for auditions to show up for orchestra work. This is the life he gets for Majoring in Music Composition and Minoring in You'll-Be-Waiting-Tables-The-Rest-Of-Your-Life-Just-like-Your-Father-Said. Blaine knew it'd be hard, but he'd rather be making ends meat doing what he was doing than sitting in a stuffy office at his father's law firm and hating life. He could play three instruments: Piano, Violin, and guitar. There were others that he could play, like the cello, but he only knew them by association to being able to play the piano, violin, or guitar. He wanted to be playing for a professional orchestra, or doing pit work on a Broadway Musical, but landing one of those jobs was just as hard as landing a lead role on stage. New York City was a place where dreams are both made and crushed.

He lived in China Town in Brooklyn in a place that was fairly nice looking. He lived in a house, but that was only because he lived with five of his friends and between five people, rent and utilities were easily manageable. The house was sort of set up to look like two apartments on top of each other. Nick, Jeff, and David lived downstairs and Blaine and Wes lived upstairs. Blaine and Wes turned what was supposed to be their living room into a composing room. Wes also minored in Waiting-Tables-The-Rest-Of-Your-Life, however, he majored in musical theater and was currently an ensemble cast member for Godspell. His dream was almost true. Blaine wasn't quite close.

Blaine often helped Wes with learning music for auditions and Wes would sing Blaine's songs that he wrote to give Blaine an idea as to what it sounds like. Their partnership worked well.

"Hey. You're late. Where's my coffee?" Wes jumbled together.

"Oh. Sorry. I completely forgot." Blaine and Wes had plans to meet up after Wes' rehearsal.

"You forgot?"

"Yeah. I mean, I was at the coffee shop you told me to go to, but I sort of got held up." He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

Wes looked at Blaine awkwardly. His expression alone told Blaine he was expecting an explanation.

"I met someone and we sort of got to talking. By the time he left, I completely forgot about coffee."

"You met someone?" Wes wagged his eyebrows. "Is he cute?"

"Very." Blaine couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. "I really want to see him again, but I don't know how to get in touch with him. He was in a hurry and ran out before I had a chance to give him my number."

"That sucks."

"Yeah. It really does. The funny thing is that I'd never seen him before then suddenly I see him twice in a twenty-four hour span. He was at the bar last night and we met when I tried to serve him, but he left. Then oddly enough I see him again today at the coffee shop. Weird huh?"

"That is weird. Maybe lightning will strike a third time."

"I hope so. He seems sweet. And he really is cute."

"Apparently. You've said it twice."

Blaine blushed. "But he is though! Wes, he's got these pouty Julia Roberts lips and his eyes are this amazing color of blue-green. He looks kind of like a doll, which sounds weird, but it works. And he's finishing up a double Master's degree, which means he's smart. Sebastian Smythe tried to take him home last night and he rejected him instantly. Clearly he has good taste since he didn't go home with him. His clothes are designer brand, but he's not overdone or stuck up."

"Wow…" Wes placated. "So you just met him and you're already in love with him, huh? I thought Blaine Anderson didn't fall in love at first site."

"I am not in love with him. He's just interesting, that's all."

"Uh-huh. Interesting…" Wes smiled like he didn't believe Blaine in the slightest. "Come on, you and Michael have been broken up for months and this is the first time I've seen you excited about anything. Plus, you just gave me his bio like it was a rapid fire round."

"I don't know him enough to be in love with him or even like him romantically… but he is interesting. I'd like to get to know him. If only I can see him again."

As the week began and went on, Blaine found himself spending gobs of time at the café that he saw Kurt at. He was going out of his way to sit in that café and work there, instead of at his piano, just to see if he'd "run into" Kurt, but it was Thursday and he didn't see him once this week. He was starting to give up hope, but refused to give up.

**Kurt**

Kurt really wanted to go back to Jericho, but with work, classes, his papers that were due, and his internship, he was beginning to hate himself for not taking the time to get Blaine's number. Having to find all those books and periodicals again would have been worth it by now if only he got that man's number.

He'd hoped to run into him again at the café, but he never saw him. On Thursday, Rachel asked him to go to a Cabaret bar, but Kurt said no and he gathered up enough courage to drag himself to Jericho to see if he was working, but he wasn't. The bartender said Blaine would be working on Friday, but Kurt had an overnight shift again for his internship on Friday.

Kurt couldn't believe he was doing this: trying to tack down a guy that he knew nothing about. He suddenly remembered that that's why Shawn dumped him and now he understood. There was a sort of peace that crept upon him and he was happy. He decided since he had his first night off in a long time, he'd stay and have a good time. He might have been alone, but hey, the music was thumping away and he looked good. Might as well make a night of it.

He ordered two shots and pounded them back like they were water. _To hell with it,_ he thought. _I'm having fun_. Kurt made his way into the crowd of dancers. He let the music flow through him and he felt the warmth of the alcohol in his system. Kurt began to dance and let the energy of all the people around wash through his body and he was happy. It didn't take long for someone to approach him and start dancing with him.

Kurt felt the body flushed against his backside and he didn't care to look at the person he was dancing with because he found that he was actually having fun. The man that found Kurt ended up being a teacher that was on vacation in NYC from Vermont for the week and bought Kurt drink after drink.

His name was Marvin, but he asked to be called Vin. He was handsome, but in a completely neat and tidy way. His hair was perfectly styled, his clothes were perfectly fitted, his self tanner was the perfect color and not orange, his teeth were perfectly straight and white. Vin was almost too perfect to be considered hot. He looked more like a Ken Doll. They made out a few times on the dance floor, chatted and flirted at the bar and mezzanine, but by the bar's closing time, Kurt realized he'd lost track of time and it was now two in the morning and he had to be a Teacher's Assistant for a Human Growth and Development class in seven hours. He hadn't slept, he was drunk, and desperately needed a shower since all the dancing made him sweaty and somehow he managed to get glitter on his chest from another man who sandwiched Kurt between him and Vin.

Vin asked Kurt to come back to his hotel room with him, but Kurt declined. He was surprised he had even made out with him in the first place because he normally didn't do that unless he was really drunk, which he was. Vin was clearly a nice guy. He didn't try to pressure Kurt into changing his mind like some guys would have, or bring up the fact that Vin bought him all those drinks and Kurt wasn't going to put out. But since Kurt liked him enough to spend an entire night on the dance floor with him, he asked Vin to get something to eat with him at a bakery that was open all night. It was a block away and Kurt needed to eat something and drink water so that he could function well enough to make it home.

Vin smiled and agreed and they sat down at the bakery eating bagels and drinking their water, chatting more about their jobs and Kurt's classes. Vin asked if Kurt was going to be at Jericho the following night, but Kurt explained that he had to work. The more they talked Kurt realized that he was able to picture himself with someone like Vin. Someone who carried no baggage and didn't care if he was going to be going to bed alone. Someone who was content to just sit and talk with no promise of expectations. It occurred to Kurt that Vin was exactly his type and was starting to wonder why he was so excited about Blaine. He didn't know anything about him.

"When are you leaving to go back to Vermont?" Kurt asked

"Sunday."

"I'm working tomorrow night, or well, tonight, I guess, because it's passed midnight… but I'm free Saturday night." Kurt had originally planned on going to Jericho to see Blaine, but decided to give himself a chance at seeing how things could be with Vin. Worst case scenario, Vin isn't what he thought and he goes back to Vermont the next day.

**Blaine**

Blaine was not enjoying work at the Cabaret Bar Thursday night. The performers were fine. Some were good, some weren't, but there was this one woman, a young twenty something that kept handing him Barbara Streisand and Patti Lupone hits. She was very talented, but her apparent attitude was that she was better than everyone. Maybe she was, but her personality made her unlikable. She was with a group of people and they only reason he knew that was because they sat at a table fairly close to him and he thought he heard the woman, he learned her name was Rachel when the MC announced her, say a name sounding like "Kurt." He doubted that, even if she did say Kurt's name, it was the same Kurt because their were hundreds of thousands upon hundreds of thousands of people in this city and the chances of Rachel talking of the Kurt he met were miniscule.

His hands were starting to cramp up and he took a break around ten. His sub took his place and Blaine went to go sit at the bar. He ordered a Vodka Tonic and took a sip, thankful that he was allowed to drink at this job. He only ever had one because he didn't want to make a bad impression. The bartender was a pretty Latina with long black hair named Santana. Blaine was fond of her. They often hung out and she stayed at his house whenever her girlfriend and her were fighting. The fighting never lasted long. Her girlfriend often showed up in the middle of the night and they'd kiss and make up and leave.

Blaine heard the sound of Rachel belting out Funny Girl and he groaned. "Ugh. Barbara again? That girl's been up there three times already."

"Don't remind me. I had to deal with that hobbit in high school," Santana complained as she popped a cherry in her mouth.

"You know her?"

"Unfortunately. Rachel Berry, McKinley High's resident overachiever. She can sing, I'll give her that, but she's annoying. She just landed a job in a workshop for a new musical or something. She made sure she told me when she saw me. I want to ring her neck for getting everything she wants."

"Bitter much?" Blaine smiled and took a sip of his drink.

"I'm not bitter, she just had everything so easy. And she really is annoying. She has redeeming qualities, but then she opens her mouth and you forget about them. That goofy looking marshmallow next to her is her husband, Finn. I took his V-card sophomore year. Actually I'm surprised his brother isn't here. This is sort of his thing. Hey! You know what? I wonder if his brother is single. I should ask. You two would be great together. He's exactly your type. I mean, I haven't talked to him in a long time, but I'm sure he hasn't changed much. He's adorable and just the sweetest guy."

Blaine knocked back the rest of his drink and reach across the bar and grabbed a lime. He bit it. "Thanks, Santana, but I don't need to be fixed up."

"Suit yourself." Santana shrugged and went down the bar to serve a customer.

"Blaine Anderson?"

Blaine turned on the bar stool, recognizing the voice immediately. Michael, his ex-boyfriend, was standing before him.

"Hi," Michael greeted.

"What are you doing here?" Blaine asked. His first reaction to seeing Michael was about the same as every reaction to seeing him: he looked him over. He tried not to, but Michael's look had changed since he'd seen him last. His skin was a reddish olive hue, but that's because he was half Native American and half Greek. He'd grown his hair out some and his curls were more prominent now. Blaine had always preferred to see the curls in Michael's hair because it made the sweetness in his face pop that much more.

"I came with some friends. Are you singing tonight?" Michael went on, trying to keep the conversation going.

To Blaine, he seemed both eager and desperate to keep Blaine in his presence, but Blaine wasn't fooled. He remained standoffish and undeterred. "No I work here. I'm the pianist."

"Wow. That's great. You know, a foot in the door."

"It pays the bills for now. Excuse me." Blaine started to walk back to the performance area.

Michael stood in his way. "Can we talk?"

"I don't have anything to say." He tried to step around him, but Michael only got in his way again.

"I miss you."

"I broke up with you for a reason."

"I know and I'm sorry I neglected your feelings."

"I recall it was an abundance of not caring after I repeatedly told you how I felt about you constantly flirting with everyone."

"You're right. I was stupid and insecure. I disregarded you feelings. I'm so sorry. I've been trying to find a way to tell you that for months."

"I have to get back to work." Blaine left Michael standing there and went back to his piano.

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><p>Thank you so much for everyone who reviewed last chapter! : )<p>

Please review!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan

Check my tumblr page to see behind the chapter stuff. I'll be posting pictures of what Michael and Vin sort of look like to me in my head.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Kurt**

Things got busy for Kurt really quick. He was finally finishing up his Master's Degree and applying for jobs. Spring was nearing its end and Kurt was also spending a lot of time on Skype with Vin, whom he crazy about. It seemed that his notion of finding Blaine had slowly dissipated as time went on, but whenever he was at his favorite café, he couldn't stop himself from looking around to see if the hunky bartender was there.

The more he thought about it, the more insane he thought he was for meeting a bartender and then suddenly rushing to his work place to get his number. Then what? They'd live happily ever after? Kurt began to think of his decision to do that made him a little stalker-ish and after the more time that passed and after never having time to go back to Jericho, the more he put off romanticizing the idea of ever seeing Blaine again.

Not to mention that his choice to have a date with Vin before he left to go back to Vermont proved to be a lovely evening. Vin was a great person. He was sensitive, supportive, headstrong, and despite the fact that he lived hours away, Kurt was developing feelings for him. Vin was older than Kurt, twenty-nine, almost thirty, but he never treated Kurt like he was too young. After all, Kurt had the drive of a teen and the ambition of a middle-age person, ensuring that his or her retirement would be "fruitful," to say the least. Vin and Kurt were pretty evenly matched.

Vin had come to visit twice since their first meeting in February and by late April, they were discussing the idea of Vin coming to stay for a month, when his school year was done, as a "live-in trial run." If living together worked out, then Vin was going to apply for teaching jobs in the area and move in with Kurt and Puck.

Puck thought Kurt was insane for moving things so quickly with Vin. They met in February and they were already talking about living together three months later. Kurt, on the other hand, thought he was being careful by suggesting the trial run.

"Promise me you'll be nice when he comes over today," Kurt commanded.

"Am I ever not nice?" Puck questioned.

"I mean it, Puckerman. I don't care how you feel about him and I moving in together, but I do care that my friends treat him with some respect."

"Got it. No worries, dude. He's cool. I'm cool. You're cool. It's all cool."

This was the last time Vin was coming to visit before the trial run and Kurt was really excited for him to come. Vin was sweet and thoughtful. He was so supportive of everything Kurt had in mind for his future and always looked at him like he was the most interesting person he'd ever met. Kurt had never had that before.

"When he is arriving?" Puck asked.

"I've got to run some errands and go food shopping, but his bus should arrive at the port authority around 3:30."

"Do you want to borrow my car so you don't have to spend all day on the subway or a ton of money on taxis?"

Kurt's mouth lolled open in surprise before he smiled. "I would love that! I'd kiss you if it wouldn't be incredibly weird. Thank you so much."

Puck grinned and nodded his head. "You're welcome. The keys are in the bowl by the door."

Kurt poured himself a cup of coffee and brought it to his room to drink while he picked out an outfit for the day.

By the time he got around to grocery shopping, he was rushing around the store because it was 2:45 and he had forty-five minutes to finish and get to the New York City Port Authority. It had been so long since he had driven in the city that he had forgotten how long it took to get from one place to the other.

He was looking at salad dressings, and not paying attention to anything at all because it was the last item he needed on his grocery list. He selected the raspberry vinaigrette he was looking for and turned and stepped quickly to his right, not knowing that there was another person in a somewhat close proximity. He slammed right into the shorter man. "Oh! Sorry!" Kurt exclaimed, holding onto the other person to help steady him. He paused for a second when he saw who he ran into. "Blaine?"

Blaine looked up and saw the face he'd been waiting to see for months. "Kurt!"

"I am so sorry. I am such a space case sometimes." Kurt was in shock. It'd been months since he saw Blaine and then suddenly there he was.

"No. It's okay. I wasn't looking either."

There was an awkward pause. "So, how are things?"

"Um. Good. Busy, but good. You?"

"Same. I graduate in in two weeks."

"Congratulations! That's great!" Blaine seemed really enthused. He was, but Blaine thought he acted a little overkill.

Kurt smiled. "Thanks. I'll be so happy when it's over." He was taken with the way Blaine looked when he smiled and Kurt remembered how much he liked it. Blaine's enthusiasm and approval still meant the world to him, though he wasn't sure why. They had barely spoken and he still knew almost nothing about him.

"I bet. You'll have more time on your hands."

There was a quick awkward pause. "Hey, you know, while you're here, I'm sorry about the last time we bumped into each other. I shouldn't have left like that."

"Oh. Please. Don't worry about it."

"Babe, do you care what brand of pasta we get? These two are exactly the same, but this one's cheaper." A sweet faced man with reddish/olive skin walked up to Blaine, staring at two boxes of penne. "Oh. I'm sorry. Was I interrupting something?" The man, who was slightly taller than Blaine, shifted his eyes back and forth between Kurt and Blaine, pausing a beat longer on Kurt as if he was appraising him with caution.

**Blaine**

"N-no!" Blaine said opening his body up towards the new comer. "Michael, this is Kurt. Kurt, this is Michael."

"I'm his boyfriend." Michael tossed both of the pasta boxes into a basket that Blaine was carrying and stuck out his hand.

"Nice to meet you," Kurt said with a nervous smile, taking Michael's hand and shaking it firmly.

"Pleasure. How do you two know each other?" Michael was clearly jealous.

"Um…" Blaine smacked his lips, not really knowing how to answer.

Kurt beat Blaine to the punch. "Friend of a friend. Or, well, not even then actually. He saved me from a lame pick-up attempt some months back."

"Y-Yeah. He was having some trouble with Sebastian."

Michael made a face, still looking at Kurt like he was slightly offended by his presence. "Honey, please don't tell me Sebastian is your type. I wouldn't go near that with a ten foot pole."

Blaine was quick to defend Kurt. He was annoyed at his boyfriend's disposition towards him. "No, Michael. Um. Sebastian approached him and wouldn't leave him alone. I was bartending at Jericho." The story Kurt and Blaine painted together wasn't exactly true, or even half true, but it was enough to get Michael to stop asking questions. Michael was clearly over-analyzing the situation in his head.

"Well, I've got to get going; I'm making dinner for a friend, but it was really nice seeing you again, Blaine. And it was nice to meet you, Michael."

"Likewise," Michael faked.

"See you around, Kurt." Kurt smiled one last time and walked down the aisle, heading for the check out center. Blaine couldn't help, but watch the gentle way Kurt walked and realized that this was the second time he was watching Kurt walk away without giving him his number.

"Jeez, I can't leave you alone for two minutes without someone trying to hit on you," Michael commented in a particularly bitchy tone.

"He wasn't hitting on me."

"Right, and the goofy smile on your face was a response to, what?"

"Nothing happened. You don't have to be jealous over Kurt saying hello." Blaine started to turn and look for the salad dressing he was originally in the aisle for.

"I'm jealous? Look at the pot, who's calling the kettle black."

"We're really going to do this in the middle of a grocery store?"

"What? Are you afraid your new boy-toy would hear us?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You look like you're going to rip my head off whenever you see me talking to anyone _you _don't know."

"That's because you don't have a particularly, good track record, Michael."

"And you're going to hold this over my head for how long? I thought we were going to give us another chance?"

"Well, maybe I was wrong. This was a stupid idea and you clearly haven't changed." Blaine put the basket down on the floor and started to walk away.

Michael caught Blaine by the arm tightly. "Wait. Please. I'm sorry."

"No. We're a disaster as a couple and I just realized something. It doesn't bother me to think of you with someone else. I only cared that YOU didn't care enough to make my attention enough for you. Don't come over tonight and don't call me. We're finished."

Michael let Blaine's arm go free and Blaine rushed himself to the store exit, hoping to catch Kurt on his way out. He stomped his foot and itched the back of his head when he realized he'd lost him.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Warning! Lots of usage of the word "fuck" and explicit sexual images.**

**I figured I should put a warning because this chapter is unlike any other I've written for any of my stories.**

**But! I still like it and I hope you enjoy it as well :P**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

Despite breaking up with Michael and, once again, having to watch the illusive Kurt walk away from him, Blaine still had a job to do. He had to go to work at Jericho that night.

"Dude, you okay?" Jeff asked Blaine. Jeff and Nick were sitting on Blaine's bed while Blaine picked out a suitable outfit to wear to work. It had to be something where comfort didn't matter, because comfortable attire wasn't what made men want to tip you. He settled on a pair of red skinny jeans and a black, sleeveless shirt that he buttoned up half way to show off his chest. He added a silver chain and a black cuff watch to the ensemble to finish it off.

"Yeah. I'm fine. How do I look?" Blaine responded while looking in a full length mirror and running a pick through his curls.

"Good. You sure you okay? You just dumped Michael not five hours ago."

"Yeah and I'm better for it. It's not like I'm in love with him anymore and I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to give a relationship with him another shot. Trust me guys. I'm totally fine." He rubbed his hands together, spreading out a small amount of gel on his palms and fingers then ran them through his hair. He needed his curls to stay in place and not frizz out from the heat in the club.

"Well, it's just that, you know, last time you-" Nick began.

"-Guys! This isn't last time and what am I supposed to do even if living without Michael in my life bothered me? I still have to work. I still have to pay the bills. I'm not going to cry over fucking Michael Deeds. He's jealous, untrustworthy, and I'm not bothered by it in the least. So, can we please just drop it and talk about our next gig? I have to make sure that you guys give me enough time to either take a night off from work or that the show is early enough so I can get to work on time."

Nick and Jeff eyed each other and silently agreed to let the topic go. If Blaine said he was fine, then Blaine must be fine. They carried on with a conversation about their band and plans for the next gig before Blaine left to catch a subway train to work.

In expected fashion, Jericho was packed for a Saturday night. Blaine had little time for breaks because he was being kept busy with customers who flirted and slipped him their numbers. He flirted back with some because he would recognize some as regulars and those who tipped the best. He saw no harm in selling his personality to pay his bills.

"What can I get for you?" Blaine asked. A blonde man that he thought looked like a Ken Doll came up to the bar.

The man smiled. His teeth were perfectly white. "A Midori Sour and a Black and Tan, please."

"You got it!" Blaine was able to act cheery despite his annoyance at what happened in the grocery store earlier. He made the black and tan first because it had to settle and smiled as he made the Midori Sour because he associated the drink with Kurt. "Twelve dollars. Nice shirt."

The life sized Ken Doll fished out fifteen dollars from his wallet and handed it to Blaine. "Thanks. You have gorgeous eyes."

Blaine smiled. "Thank you."

"My boyfriend has a thing for honey colored eyes. Keep the change."

Blaine made change from the fifteen dollars and put the remaining three in his pocket. Whenever his pocket seemed to be too packed with money he'd unload his tips into a jar. It took too much time away to continuously keep returning to the jar to put every tip in it. A half hour later he was pulling handfuls of dollar bills and fives from his pockets and shoving them in his jar that read "You must be at least this high to ride me." All the bartenders' tip jars had something funny with a sexual pun written on it. Blaine's was an obvious joke on his height and the fact that he was the only gay bartender at Jericho. The other bartenders are the ones to come up what was written on your tip jar. Matty, Blaine's band mate, who was one of two other people working with Blaine at the bar tonight and his read "Gay for Pay." Jackson, the bartender, had one that read "Tip me $100 and I'll take an item of clothing off." It wasn't uncommon for Jackson to end up with nothing on by the end of the night. Jackson was a built man, who probably should have been a bouncer, but the men loved him and he made the most money for the bar over the weekends. He quickly learned to wear layers to work because the customers paid way too much money to watch Jackson strip without hesitation.

Jackson was a nice guy. Blaine liked working with him, but envied his ability to turn out tips like Rumpelstiltskin turning straw into gold. Jackson also worked for a porn site as a "performer" and often bragged about his job. Let's face it, Jackson got paid to come on screen. Whether it was with a man, woman , or alone was irrelevant because all he cared about was the paycheck. That man made more money in one month than he could possibly need. He was happy knowing that he had money in the bank, a perfect body, and sex that only regular people could dream of on a regular basis.

"Blaine!"

A voice caught Blaine's attention. He turned around. "Twice in one day." He smiled and leaned on the bar. Kurt was smiling back at him on the other side.

"I know! I haven't seen you in months and now twice in one day."

"Can I get you something?"

"A Midori Sour and a Black and Tan, please."

"Two?"

"That friend I had dinner with, we came here afterward." Blaine started to make the drinks. "I hope I didn't cause too much trouble for you and your boyfriend."

"Ex boyfriend," Blaine corrected, setting the Black and Tan in front of Kurt.

"I'm sorry." Kurt looked guilty.

"You didn't do anything. We were completely mismatched anyway." He poured all the ingredients of a Midori Sour into a shaker. "You know, if you wanna hang out-"

A pair of arms snaked around Kurt's middle from behind him and a man took Kurt's ear lobe into his mouth. The man moaned quietly for only Kurt to see. "I missed you."

"I've been gone for five minutes," Kurt laughed, turning his attention to the man Blaine recognized as the life sized Ken Doll from earlier.

"That's five minutes away from you. Did you order our drinks yet?"

"Oh! Vin, this is Blaine. Blaine this is Vin."

"Oh yeah," Vin said with a smile. "The hottie with the beautiful eyes. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." Blaine smiled, but now he understood. Kurt's _friend._ By the looks of it, Vin was either Kurt's boyfriend or his lover. Based on Blaine's fantasy idea of Kurt, Kurt didn't do lovers. He was strictly a boyfriend type guy. Blaine wasn't happy with the thought, but he wasn't surprised. Of course someone like Kurt would have a boyfriend.

"How much do I owe you?" Kurt asked, giggling and trying to play-slap Vin's hands away from him.

Blaine smiled and shook his head. "Oh. Um. On the house. Call it even for the tip."

Kurt smiled back. It was nice to see Blaine again. Although, he did find it strange that every time he tried to find Blaine, he couldn't, but when he wasn't looking, Blaine appeared. "Thanks." He took his and Vin's drinks and gave Blaine one last lingering look before Blaine's attention was taken by a siren going off, signaling that another person tipped Jackson $100. When Blaine looked back, Kurt was gone. He sighed and wondered if he'd ever see that man for more than a handful of minutes at a time.

**Kurt**

"Tip?" Vin asked Kurt after they made their way to the mezzanine.

"Huh?" Kurt asked.

"He said 'let's call it even for the tip.' What tip?"

"Oh. When we met, some guy was desperate to buy me a drink and instead of ordering a drink, I just gave Blaine the money for helping me deal with him."

"That was nice of you. You could have just pocketed it."

"What was I going to do with it? It wasn't mine and it was already on the bar. It would have been weird to take it after he'd seen it." Kurt took a sip of his drink and thought about how Blaine made his favorite drink perfectly. It wasn't too sour or too sweet, but it wasn't too strong on the alcohol either. It was perfect.

"I see." Vin downed half of his beer. "Wanna get out of here whenever you finished with your drink?"

"I wanna dance some more. Why? What do you have in mind?" Kurt took a bigger sip.

Vin leaned over and captured Kurt's lips with his own. His tongue slid past Kurt's lips just once before pulling back. "I wanted to go back to your apartment and fuck the shit out of you."

Kurt's eyebrows raised and he smiled. "Again?" Vin laughed. "I recall you doing that already this evening when you first arrived."

"Making up for lost time." Vin kissed Kurt again. "And you look so sexy in that outfit."

"If I look so sexy then why do you want me out of it?" Kurt flirtatiously played along.

Vin kissed Kurt's neck languorously. "Because as mouth watering as those clothes look on you, they'd look even better on you bedroom floor."

Kurt chugged the rest of his drink in record time. "Well then. Let's not waste any more time."

Vin quickly chugged the rest of his beer and they left the bar hand in hand.

**Blaine**

A four o'clock in the morning, Blaine was sitting on the other side of the bar, having just cleaned up his space and cashed out his register. He had a vodka tonic and was making piles of his tips. The one dollar bills other smaller denominations were always changed out with the manager for bigger bills.

"One for the record book, boys!" Jackson yelled from down the bar. Matty and Jackson were doing the same thing as Blaine. "Twenty-three hundred dollars!"

"That's impressive," Blaine said.

"You know what?" Matty said enthusiastically. "Man, it doesn't count that a grand of that is because you took your clothes off."

Jackson was currently sitting with a towel wrapped around his waist and a smile on his face. "It counts when it's in my bank account, Playa."

The manager came around with a sack of money to swap out with the bartenders. Theo was a muscle man, like Jackson, with dark skin and short dreadlocks, who had an affinity for drag queens. "For fuck's sake, Jackson. Put you're fucking clothes on. You'd think that would be the first thing you do when we close up. The dancers put their clothes on before you do."

Blaine and Matty laughed. "Okay, Hot Stuff, how much you got?" Theo said to Blaine.

"How come he's Hot Stuff?" Matty asked.

"Because he's fuckable."

"And what the fuck are we?" Jackson asked, sounding like he was bothered that he wasn't the one with the nick-name.

"Straight," the manager answered.

Blaine chuckled again and made a face at Matty and Jackson. He turned back to his boss and made stacks of one hundreds with his money. "Sixteen forty-three."

"Not a bad night for you either, Baby."

"Nope. Can't complain when I make rent and utilities in one night." He waited while Theo counted his money.

"Hey, who was that guy you were talking to?" Matty asked.

"Which one?"

"The only one you got all starry eyed at and spent more than thirty seconds talking to."

Blaine knew exactly who Matty was talking about. "Oh." He saw Theo flick his eyes up momentarily. "Kurt. He's just a guy I know."

"And would like to know better?" Jackson called down to him.

"Yes." He took a sip of his vodka tonic. "But he has a boyfriend."

"So."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "So, I don't do that."

"Blaine has a boy-toy already," Matty informed Jackson.

"Not anymore. I dumped him this afternoon. I never should have gotten back to together with him in the first place."

"Probably because he sucked your dick like it was the last lolly-pop on the planet," Matty said. Jackson laughed and Theo smiled. "You're walls aren't that thick, Buddy. I hear you when he said he needed to talk to you in the middle of band practice."

Blaine looked away, almost blushing. "It's true. He did know what he was doing in that department. It wasn't worth the trouble though."

"For a good BJ," Theo murmured. "It's always worth it." Theo handed Blaine a stack of hundreds, twenties, and three one dollar bills.

"Not in this case." Blaine took the money and pocketed it.

"Don't forget to claim ten percent on your punch card. See you next week."

"See you." Blaine downed the last of his drink and hopped off the bar stool.

"Hey, Blaine!" Matty called out. Blaine turned back to him. "Can I crash at your place tonight? It'd save a trip on the train since we have practice at four tonight."

"Yeah. Sure. I'm not going straight home though. I was gonna grab some food at Mama's."

"Perfect. I'm starving."

"Oh, Blaine," Theo said, looking at the money he was counting in his hand. "Paul was looking for you."

"Do you know why?"

"No, but he's probably still cleaning the back room. With Nate and Tommy and Jesse."

"Oh okay. I'll be back in a minute, I guess," Blaine said to Matty.

The back room was actually a set of open room that was downstairs. They were all connected with no doors and wide doorways. It was used as a room where the owner and manager looked the other way so the customers could hook up if they wanted a quick hook-up. It was to keep the lines to the bathroom small and the dance floor free of sex acts. Blaine walked downstairs and immediately he was bombarded with the sight of Nate pressed against the wall as Tommy fucked him from behind. Blaine walked past them and pinched Tommy's ass as he went by.

Tommy winked at him. "Don't tease me, Blaine Anderson. You're welcome to join."

Blaine winked back and kept walking. He'd only hooked up with someone down here twice and it was after hours so no one else was around. It was with Michael too. Something about having sex in public wasn't something that Blaine aspired too, but the room was convenient when he wanted it to be. Tommy was attractive, but Blaine had no interest in him. It was merely just fun to play.

He said hello to Jesse as he passed him in the next room and Jesse told him Paul was looking for him in the very back.

Paul was a Taylor Lautner look-a-like. Blaine thought they had to be related, but Paul insisted that they weren't. He found him mopping the floor in the very back, just as Jesse said he would. "Hey. You were looking for me?"

"Hey, Single Lady."

Blaine made an amused face. "How'd you know?"

"Jamie told me after Michael went crying to him and then rebound fucked him."

Blaine scoffed. "Sounds like something Michael would do." Paul was one of those friends he met through Michael and helped him get a job at Jericho. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Talking wasn't really what I had in mind." He walked away from his mop and got close to Blaine. He ran his hand through Blaine's curls. "I was hoping that you needed a rebound too."

Blaine looked taken aback and bewildered by his friend's request. He chuckled nervously. People who threw themselves at him or made it painfully obvious of their sexual intensions toward him always made him a little uncomfortable, very nervous, and completely gobsmacked. "I-" He took in a breath and raised his eyebrows. "Um." He wasn't sure what to say. _Sure, _Blaine thought. _I could use a good release right now._ But since his junior year in college, he was never a random hook-up type of guy. He preferred intimacy to be with a partner he cared about and could have meaningful experiences with. That's not to say that it never happened.

When he was in college, he went through a particularly slutty phase because he was away from his family, namely his disapproving father, and the strict rules of a private preparatory academy. It wasn't until his junior year in college that he fell in love for the first time and realized what making love really was. Even after the relationship deteriorated, he was a changed person and sex outside of a committed relationship was something he no longer wanted. He tried to be the person he used to be, but he just wasn't the same. He found that he liked this person better. This Blaine was happier, more independent, and more open to seeing what was on the inside of people.

That's what made him able to be so interested in Kurt. _Kurt_, he thought. _What would Kurt think of someone who came down to a place like this just for a quick sex-capade?_ He was taking too long to answer and found himself walking backward as Paul advanced on him.

What Blaine took as backing away and nervously laughing while stuttering, Paul took as playful and cute, a type of game per say. Blaine's back hit the wall and Paul approached him seductively. Blaine was reminded of how lions and tigers stalk their prey from watching a program on the Discovery Channel. He felt like Paul's prey. He didn't feel like he was particularly in a bad situation because Paul was his friend, so he didn't feel in any danger. Mainly he was just nervous and speechless. He knew he would somehow have to communicate 'no' to Paul, but his body was reacting differently than he would have liked and he was finding words hard to come by.

Paul now had Blaine pressed against him, sandwiched between himself and the wall. He leaned down and kissed Blaine's neck, just below his ear and ran his hands down Blaine's arms. "What do you like?" he asked before kissing Blaine's neck again. "Are you a top or bottom?"

"I-uh." He stammered and gasped when he found Paul's hand caressing and palming the bulge being created in Blaine's pants. He coughed and grunted a little.

"Or would you rather I suck you off?" Paul kissed him again, this time nipping at his skin. "I'd rim you, but you'd fall in love with me and keep begging for more."

"Blaine?" Matty called out from afar. "Come on, Dude, I'm hungry. Mama's will be packed with strippers by now and I don't wanna sit at the front with all their creepy admirers that think they can hook up with them."

Blaine coughed again and turned his head in panic upon hearing his name being called out from one of the other rooms.

"Also, Nate and Tommy are fucking again and I don't wanna be down here listening to them any longer than I have to."

The distraction from hearing Matty's voice was enough to put some sense into Blaine's brain and he made a move to his right while shrugging Paul off. "I gotta go," he said.

"Some other time then?" Paul suggested with a smile.

"N-no thanks. I appreciate the offer, but, um… I don't- I mean, we're friends and I- really, thank you, but-"

"Blaine!" Matty called again, this time with more volume.

"No." Blaine looked flustered and left Paul standing there with a playful smile.

Paul knew Blaine well enough to know what he was trying to say and knew to never try anything with Blaine again. It was a long shot and he thought Blaine could use a good fuck, but what else was he going to do if Blaine didn't want to? He laughed it off and went to find Jesse. Blaine left him turned on and Jesse was always good for a meaningless fuck, not to mention Jesse was eager to please and was down for anything. Paul imagined Blaine to be less kinky and more romantic, something Paul knew nothing about.

"Where the fuck were you, Blaine?" Matty asked when Blaine came rushing over to him.

"Paul wanted to talk to me."

"Can we get outta here? Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with whatever kind of sex you gays like or want… I just don't wanna see it."

Blaine and Matty walked into the front most room and sure enough, Nate and Tommy were still at it. This time, Nate was holding onto the railing to the staircase while Tommy held both his legs and rammed into him. Sweat glistened off both of them. Matty rushed himself past both of them, running up the stairs with his eyes practically closed. Blaine, who found this utterly hilarious, pressed himself against the back of Tommy and bit his shoulder blade. Tommy moaned and Blaine backed off. He slapped Tommy's ass and continued around to the stairs. He leaned down and kissed Nate on the cheek.

Nate smiled like he was in heaven, but Tommy moaned again, hoping Blaine was about to join in. "Blaine, I swear to God. This could be you. Get your ass back down here and strip."

Blaine laughed and winked. "No thanks Tommy. You two are too fabulous for me. I'd never be able to keep up." He left it at that and ran after Matty.

**Kurt**

Kurt fell backward onto his mattress, sweaty and out of breath. Vin collapsed down next to him and cuddled close. "How is it that I survive without that at least once a week? Hell, once a day?" Vin said with a smile.

Kurt took a deep breath and laughed because his endorphins were running high and he just had to let it out because he felt so good. "Well, in a month, you won't have to ask yourself that question because you'll be here." He kissed Vin's nose.

"Mm. Can't wait." He snuggled closer and put his head on Kurt's glistening chest. "You don't think we're moving too fast do you?"

Kurt brought his eyebrows together and looked at Vin curiously. He shimmied away and knelt on his bed, looking down on Vin. "If I felt that, it would imply that I had doubts. I have none. Do you?"

"N-no. Well-"

Kurt raised his eyebrows, hoping that Vin wasn't about to spoil the moment. "Well?"

"No. There's no doubts. Definitely no doubts. I promise. It's just that I've never done this before. I've never been this impulsive. I'm leaving behind everything in Vermont to be here with you. We've only known each other for a handful of months. I'm happy. I feel weightless and impervious to pain almost. I can't explain it. I'm just… I'm proud of myself for taking this risk and I can't believe I got so lucky to find someone like you. I mean, it was a shot in the dark that I saw you on the dancefloor and you turned out to be…" he paused, looking like he was trying to find the right words. "…you. I'm so happy I have you. I'm glad we're doing this. I just want to make sure that you want to do this because you want to and not because you think you have to." Vin propped himself up on his elbow and cupped Kurt's cheek with his other hand.

Kurt nuzzled in Vin's palm and then leaned down to kiss Vin on the lips. "I do want to. You're amazing and I'm so happy I have you too. I count myself lucky to have someone like you who is willing to leave everything behind to come here to be with me."

"Why wouldn't I do that? Why would anyone want to go from where you're from, to here, and then go back to another version of Lima where I live? I'll be happy no matter where we live, but I've never felt more alive than I do when I'm here with you. New York is always where I wanted to end up, but never had to guts to do it. You've given that to me."

Kurt kissed Vin again and then laid back down. He yawned. There was no more talk that night. The two men just lye there in silence, exchanging soft touches and small kissed here and there until sleep found them.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**

**I blogged a post about Jericho and Vin yesterday. Give it a look if you're curious where I'm coming from on both**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Kurt felt bad that he couldn't take the week off to spend more time with Vin, but he had finals and his last week of work at both of his jobs. Since he was a teacher's assistant and the school year was ending, so was his job. Also, his internship at the counseling hotline center was ending. He needed to find a job to pay his bills fast. He had some interviews lined up, but those were for jobs as a guidance counselor in schools and even if he got hired, he wouldn't start until the fall. He'd need a job until the fall at least.

Vin was supportive and said he was okay with being left to his own devices because it gave him a chance to explore on his own and be able to get to know the city he'd be living in. Kurt really liked that part about Vin. He was always so positive, no matter the situation, but then again, there wasn't much about Vin, if anything, that he didn't like.

By Thursday Kurt felt awful. He hadn't done anything with Vin except for the small outings they had during the weekend when he arrived. Rachel had been bugging him to go to that Cabaret bar and since Friday was his last day and wasn't required to go to his last two classes because it was merely review, he decided to ask Vin if he wanted to go.

"Yeah. I'd love to, but don't expect me to sing. No one wants to hear that atrocity."

Kurt laughed. "You don't have to sing. I might, but I haven't sung in a really long time. Gosh, it's been so long. It used to be my passion." He got a look on his face that read like he didn't know where time went.

"I like your voice. You sing in the shower all the time." Vin smiled and wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist.

"You know Puck sings too."

"He does?"

"Yup. And Rachel and Finn. We were all in Glee Club together in high school. We were national champs our senior year."

"Well what do you know? I learned something new about you."

"There's a lot you still don't know about me. I've a very complicated person."

Vin leaned forward and kissed Kurt's cheek. "And I'm looking forward," kiss, "to learning every," kiss, "last," kiss, "detail."

Kurt returned the kiss and backed away. "I'll call Rachel and let her know we're going. I think some people from the musical1 she's work shopping with are going too."

**Blaine**

Thursday was just like any other Thursday for Blaine. He slept in, had lunch, worked in the music room until dinner, then got ready for work. It wasn't that he didn't like the Cabaret bar, It was just a little boring. It was, more often than not, people singing the same songs over and over. There was nothing new. He was playing the great songs of the greatest artists to the death. Most people that went on stage also sang as if there was someone important in the audience that was going to discover them as new talent. There never were though. Blaine knew that as a fact. Sometimes the club owner would pay a friend of his to dress up and sit at a table of his own with a pad of paper. Santana was paid extra to just keep bringing the man drinks. The man would look like he was asking for a singer's name or making notes about something. On several occasions Blaine saw that the man wasn't taking notes at all, but doodling pictures of random things: naked women, cats, 3D boxes, eyes, fish; once he wrote the word 'shit' enough times to fill three entire pages from top to bottom.

But nevertheless his job was a foot in the door and technically he was playing piano professionally. It also helped that people tipped him from time to time. It wasn't much, but he'd make enough in tips to cover his metro card every week. He only looked forward to this coming Sunday when he had an audition as a pianist in a pit orchestra for a new musical that was currently in casting.

He found that the more he thought about his jobs, the more he realized it was all carefully plotted out because of money. He made more money working two nights a week at Jericho than he did all week at Cabaret. However, the money he made at Jericho was enough to pay every bill he had and still had enough left over to afford take out food multiple times a week. The money he made at Cabaret went straight into a savings account. He didn't need the job, but he kept it because it kept his father off his back most of the time about not using his degree and it was more or less a resume builder. Also, he stupidly thought, like many of the singers that came in, you never know who's sitting in the audience and might need a pianist. Actually, about half of the auditions he went on were because he heard about them at Cabaret.

He looked down at his watch. It was eight o'clock and his hands were starting to cramp up. The Barbara Streisand girl was up again for the umpteenth time that month and while he now knew her name was Rachel, he referred to her as "the Barbara Streisand girl" because that's how the rest of the crew knew her. His sub showed up and took his place after he finished playing for someone after Rachel and he stood up, heading for the bar. A vodka tonic and a chat with Santana was sure to perk him up.

**Kurt**

"Okay, so basically you asked me here just to show off that you still got it," Kurt said to Rachel once she sat back down at their table.

"Well, I wouldn't be up there so often if someone would go up and give me a run for my money," Rachel answered, insinuating something.

"How come Finn doesn't go up?"

"I'm rusty. Plus this really isn't my scene," Finn explained. "I'll take a dive bar with karaoke any day."

Kurt and Rachel laughed. "Don't remind me. You're twenty-first birthday was definitely one to remember."

Rachel snorted. "Oh. My. God. I almost forgot. Trying to reclaim our Journey days!"

The rest of the table, which mainly consisted of Rachel's co workers and, of course, Vin, looked at each other confusedly. Kurt saw Vin's expression and he elaborated. "Finn was completely hammered and got up to sing Don't Stop Believing."

"Oh! I love that song."

"Yeah, please don't ever sing it. The three of us have heard it enough times in our lives." They chuckled a bit more. "Oh my god!" Kurt's eyes squinted as he looked half way across the room as saw a familiar face walking towards the bar.

"What?" Finn asked.

"That guy. The one walking to the bar. I know him."

"Oh he's the piano player," Rachel explained as she craned her neck a long with everyone else to see who Kurt was looking at.

"I didn't know Blaine worked here."

"Blaine?" Vin asked. "The bartender with the eyes?"

Kurt chortled. "Yeah."

"I thought you two were friends?"

"We are. Well, sort of." Blaine disappeared into the bar and Kurt looked back at Vin. His face contorted and looked confused. "Actually, it's kind of funny. We barely know each other at all."

"You seemed to know each other last weekend when you introduced me to him."

"It's weird. We kind of bump into each other from time to time and we chat for a few minutes, but that's all the interaction we've had. We always act like we're long lost friends or something. It's kind of a knee jerk reaction, but in all actuality, neither one of us really knows anything about each other. Weird, huh?"

"Maybe you knew each other in a past life," Vin offered.

"Maybe. It really is weird, like scary weird, because it seems like I know him a lot more than I do."

"Didn't you have coffee with him once?" Rachel asked, taking a sip of her wine.

"Sort of. For like five minutes, but that was months ago."

That was the end of the conversation. Whitney, one of Rachel's coworkers, started talking about past lives and how she went to a psychic once.

Rachel finished her glass of wine five mines later and informed Kurt that it was his turn to buy the next round. Both she and Finn bought the first and second. "I'll get it," Vin offered.

"You sure?" Kurt asked. "You don't have to buy drinks for my family."

Vin smiled. "I want to. Besides, you the one who's graduating. We need to celebrate." He kissed Kurt on the cheek and headed for the bar.

Kurt followed Vin with his eyes and smiled. He looked back when Vin was out of site and saw Rachel and Finn smiling back at him.

"We like him," Rachel said. "He's nice."

"He is, isn't he?" Kurt beamed.

"He's a whole lot better than the last guy and he's more stable too," Finn added.

"He is something of a keeper. I'll say that much. Puck doesn't think so, though."

"Why not?"

"He thinks we're moving too fast."

"I'm sure he's just concerned," Rachel soothed. "It's hard not to like him."

**Blaine**

Blaine was sipping on his Vodka Tonic, picking at a cup of bar mix that Santana had given him and laughing away as Santana went on and on about some douche bag she told off at the grocery store who hit on her. She paused when someone approached the bar.

"Uh, four red whines, please." The man smiled at her politely.

"Do you care which brand?"

"No. Whatever you got is fine."

He turned his head. "Hey! Blaine, right?"

Blaine looked to his right at the person who knew his name. "Oh hey!" He recognized him instantly. There was no way he could forget the Ken Doll face of the person he wanted to replace.

"We met last weekend. I'm-"

"Vin. Kurt's boyfriend. Yeah. I remember." Blaine smiled and stuck his hand out to shake Vin's. "Midori Sour and," he scrunched his eyes trying to remember, "a Black and Tan."

Vin took Blaine's hand and shook it, smiling in surprise. "Wow! Good memory."

"Twenty bucks," Santana interrupted.

"Oh yeah." Vin reached into his back pocket and took out his wallet. He pulled thirty dollars out and handed them to her. "Keep the change."

"Thanks. Do you need help bringing those over to your table?" A fifty percent tip always brought the darling out in Santana.

"Nope. I got it."

"You here with Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah and his brother and sister in law and her coworkers."

"I'm sorry," Santana interrupted again. "You said your boyfriend was Kurt?" She picked up on the part about the brother and sister in law. How many Kurt's could be in this building with a brother and sister in law? "As in Kurt Hummel?"

"That's the one. You know him?"

Santana smiled wide and glance quickly at Blaine. "Holy shit! You need to send him back here. I haven't seen that guy in years."

"How do you know him?" Vin asked.

"I've known him since preschool."

"Wow. Is everyone from Lima?"

"Pretty much everyone from our Glee Club ended up here at some point. Me and my girlfriend Brittney moved here shortly after Kurt, Finn, and Rachel did.

"So you know Puck then?"

"Puck moved here too?"

"Yeah he's Kurt's room mate."

Santana laughed to herself. "Well, shit. You know what?" Santana grabbed a tray and put the whine glasses on it along with a fresh new bottle of red whine. "The bottle's on the house. Tell Kurt it's from an old friend."

"Will do. Thanks so much." Vin smiled and took the tray. "It was good to see you, Blaine. I should get back to my table."

"Have fun." Vin left and Blaine eyed Santana suspiciously. "You _know _Kurt? The one I've been talking about for months?"

"THAT'S who you've been talking about? Kurt Hummel? Kurt Hummel from Lima, Ohio?"

"I didn't know that's the Kurt you were talking about. What's the chances of us both be talking about the same person?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know his last name."

"He's with THAT guy? Man, you've got some competition. He's hot."

"There is no competition. He's with Vin and I don't even have his number." He took a large sip of his drink. "You remember when I suggested to set you up with him? That could have been you if you only let me talk to Rachel."

Blaine made a face, downed the rest of his drink, and hopped off the bar stool. "Gotta get back to work." Blaine was mentally kicking himself that all this time he had a connection to Kurt that he never knew. He tried to be positive about it. At least now he knows his last name: Hummel. Kurt Hummel. It had a bit of flare to it. He liked it.

He got back to the piano and traded off with his sub. About a half hour went by. He tried to find Kurt at a table, but he wasn't in his eye line and couldn't be found. It was almost ten o'clock. Closing time. He heard the MC call that the performances would be over and the hall would be closing, but the bar would remain open. Blaine closed the cover to the piano keys and situated the sheet music that the last singer handed him. He put it on top of the piano for the singer to take and looked down at his phone.

"Know any Madonna?" came a sweet voice.

Blaine looked up and smiled. "Kurt!"

"I didn't know you worked here."

"Yeah. Monday through Thursdays."

"Wow. Rachel, she's my sister in law, has been trying to get me to come here for forever. I should have listened to her."

Blaine was just unbelievably happy to be seeing Kurt that he realized he was probably smiling like an idiot. "Did Vin tell you that Santana Lopez works here?"

"Yeah he did. Well, he didn't know her name. He said a Latin beauty worked at the bar and said she knew me. Rachel filled in the rest. I just got back from talking with her. She seems happy. A lot happier than the last time I saw her. She was still in Lima and hating everything. She's still with her girlfriend from high school too."

"Yeah Brittney. She's a trip." Blaine chuckled.

"This is so weird that we know the same people. Talk about six degrees of separation."

"I know, I've been watching Rachel sing for months. She's your sister in law?"

"Yeah. Her and Fin, my stepbrother, have been dating since high school and they got hitched not too long ago. And you know my old friends."

"It's like we should have met a long time ago. Weird, huh?"

"Weird."

"So how come you weren't up there singing?"

"I didn't bring sheet music."

There was a pause, neither one knowing what to say. Blaine took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. "Hey, do you want to-"

"Kurt!" Kurt turned around to look at, who Blaine guessed to be, Finn. "Come on. Vin brought the car around."

Blaine sighed. He was really getting anxious about the fact that every time he tried to ask Kurt to hang out or wanted to ask for his number, there was always someone interrupting.

"I'll be right there!" Kurt called back. He looked back at Blaine. "I gotta go. I'll have to start coming around more often now that I know you work here." Kurt started to turn.

"Wait!" Blaine leaned forward and covered Kurt's hand that was on the piano. He was finished with watching opportunities passing him by. A jolt seemed to go through him almost instantly and Kurt's eye found his. "Do you want to get coffee sometime?"

**Kurt**

Kurt gulped and he felt his chest get heavy. Blaine was touching him. This was a strange feeling. He couldn't explain it. He felt warm and his heart thumped hard. What was this? He turned and caught Blaine's eyes with his own. For a second he got lost in Blaine's honey eyes.

"Do you want to get coffee sometime?" Blaine asked.

Kurt gulped. Blaine hadn't removed his hand and Kurt hadn't taken his back. "I'm free Sunday." He surprised himself with that answer. That was the day Vin left to go back to Vermont. His mouth had extricated those words before his brain had a chance to process them.

Blaine's face seemed to light up. "Great. I am too. What time is good for you?"

"Um. I have to drop Vin off at the bus station and then I have an interview, so three o'clock?"

"I'll be there."

"Great." Kurt had this kind of dazed look on his face. Like he was on autopilot. There was silence between them again and they just stared.

"Kurt!" Kurt almost jumped and just like that, his hand became his own again by slipping it out from under Blaine's. He turned toward his brother.

"Coming!" He called out. "See you Sunday, Blaine."

"Sunday. Three o'clock. See you then." They took one last glance at each other and Kurt was gone.

**Blaine**

Blaine watched Kurt walk away, this time smiling. His heart was beating hard against his chest. It was an intense feeling that he'd never felt. It was like he was excited, nervous, anxious, and elated all at the same time. _Sunday. Three o'clock. Sunday. Three o'clock. Sunday. Three o'clock._ He kept thinking it. _I'm having coffee with Kurt Hummel on Sunday at three o'clock. Finally._

It was then that he also realized he had an audition on Sunday. _What time was it? Shit… Audition, four o'clock._

* * *

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**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Blaine arrived at the coffee shop early on Sunday and was sort of pacing outside the café. He was nervous for two reasons: he was finally spending time with Kurt and because of his audition. He tried to stay still and lean up against the outside wall, but then he looked too fidgety. Pacing was better.

"Hi!" Kurt approached Blaine with a naturally cheery smile.

"Hi!" Blaine returned.

"You look nice. Coffee? You could have waited inside for me, you know."

"Yeah, about that." Blaine looked apologetic.

"You have to cancel?" Kurt looked mildly disappointed.

"Yes. Well, postpone? I have an audition in an hour. Hence the dress clothes. I'm really sorry."

Kurt thought and sighed. "How long will the audition be?"

"Not long. I can't imagine it would last more than ten or fifteen minutes."

"Are you busy after that?"

"No."

"Well, why don't I come with you? We can have coffee afterward."

Blaine beamed. "That would be great! You don't mind coming? It might be boring for you."

"It's no problem. Plus, it won't take long, like you said. I don't mind waiting."

"Yeah? It's not weird or anything? I know this is our first time hanging out."

Kurt chuckled. "It's fine, Blaine. Stop worrying."

"O-Okay."

"So where is this audition?" Both men started walking and headed for the subway.

The audition was at a dance studio in Manhattan. Though his appointment was for four, he knew that he would never get in at four. That's why it was important for him to get there early. He counted himself lucky because by the time he and Kurt got there, he was third in line. Had he gotten there five minutes later, he would have been fifteenth.

"I'm so sorry," he said again. This might take a bit longer because there are other people. You don't have to stay if you-"

"Relax!" Kurt laughed. "It's fine. I don't mind waiting." A half hour later, Kurt was sitting in a chair just outside the audition room and turned his ear towards the door to listen. Blaine was playing an Elton John song and then another Kurt couldn't recognize. He thought Blaine was a wonderful pianist. Kurt found himself getting lost in the sound of the songs. When they ended he heard talking for a few minutes and then Blaine came out into the hallway. "All set?" Kurt asked.

"All set."

"That was quick."

"Yeah. Sometimes they are and something they aren't. Thanks for waiting."

"You play really well. You must get lost in the music. I got lost just listening to you."

Blaine smiled, but his heart leaped at the praise. He thought that any compliment from Kurt would make him react the same way. He probably could have told him that his left pinky toe was interesting to look at and he would have smiled on the outside and went giddy on the inside. "Sometimes I lose the consciousness that there are people around me, but that's only when I'm playing for me or composing."

"Coffee?" Kurt suggested with a smile.

By the time they reached the subway Kurt had quizzed Blaine on everything that he could think of about his musical background. When he found out that Blaine was an aspiring composer, he became increasingly curious about it.

"I don't know how this will sound, but do you want to come to my apartment instead of coffee? I can show you my music room. Also, if you really want coffee, I can make some there. I mean, it won't be barista coffee, but it'll be halfway decent coffee."

Normally, if someone who Kurt didn't know all that well asked him back to his apartment, Kurt wouldn't go, but Blaine was friendly and interesting and he felt that, in some way, they were friends. "Sure. Why not."

"Yeah?"

Kurt smiled. "Yeah." They hopped on a different train than planned and headed to Brooklyn. On the train they talked more about music and Blaine apologized some more for changing plans at the last second.

Kurt didn't care and said he was happy for a change of pace.

"Most things in my life are completely controlled and planned out."

"Mine too," Blaine added.

"Look at us," Kurt said playfully, "deviating from safe and sound normalcy."

Blaine smiled and looked down at his clasped hands in his lap. "Maybe it's just you. I only get flustered around the cute ones."

Kurt cocked his head and he had a dough-eyed look. Blaine's attempt at flirting made him smile. Blaine had a bashful thing going for him that Kurt found utterly adorable. It wasn't until he got a text message from Vin that he remembered he had to be mindful of the fact that he needed to take his boyfriend's feelings into consideration.

**V- Made it home safe. I miss you already**

**K- I can't wait for you to be here a month!**

**V- And then a few months after that, I'll be able to call it home : )**

**K- : )**

**V- How did your interview go?**

**K- Good. Can't complain. A cakewalk really.**

**V- I'm glad. So what are you doing now that you don't have a massive load of studying to do? Relaxing I hope.**

**K- Coffee with Blaine.**

**V- Blaine, the bartender?**

**K- Yes. What happened to Blaine, the one with the beautiful eyes? Lol**

**V- : /**

**K- Is everything okay? I was joking about his eyes. You're the one who said that when you met him.**

**V- Just a little jealous I suppose. I'll be fine. I trust you. Besides, he seems like a nice guy and I trust he's not the type to try to steal you away.**

**K- It's just coffee, Vin. You don't need to be jealous.**

**V- I'm jealous that he gets to see you when I can't. I'd be jealous of anyone, guy or girl, that had that position really.**

**K- It's just one month. One month and you'll be here with me.**

**V- Sorry I'm so sappy right now. I just miss you. I'm tired of always waiting to be with you.**

**K-I know, Vin. Me too.**

**V- Can you just tell me that you miss me to make me feel better?**

**K- : ) I miss you! Soooooo much! *ugly cry* Please come back!**

**V- okay okay! : ) I'll let you get back to coffee with Blaine, the one with the beautiful eyes.**

**K- Call me later if you want. If not I'll talk to you tomorrow.**

**V- xoxo**

**K- xoxo**

Kurt and Vin weren't in the 'I love you' stage yet, but sometimes Kurt thought Vin might be on the verge of saying those three little words. Sometimes he wished that Vin would say it because he sometimes felt like he wanted to say it back, but he knew that if he sometimes wanted to say it and the rest of the time wasn't sure, then it was better to wait because he didn't want Vin to be in love with him when he wasn't. He didn't think it was fair. He also didn't want to say it just to say it. Love was important and not something to rush or waste.

He felt a little bad for not saying that he was having coffee at Blaine's apartment, but Vin did say that he was jealous and Kurt didn't want to make it worse.

"Everything okay?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah. Vin just got home and he was telling me his trip went fine."

"It must be hard… watching him walk away all the time." Blaine got a blank look on his face for a moment as he pictured all the times Kurt walked away from him. It was strange. He barely knew Kurt, but he already felt for him.

"A little. I think it's harder for him because he's the one leaving, but I've been pretty busy with work and school, so I've had distractions. He just has work, so he isn't so lucky." Kurt sighed. "So when will you find out about the audition?" he asked, changing the subject.

It took another half hour of train ride and walking time to get to Blaine's apartment. "Wow," Kurt said when he saw the outside. "You have this whole thing? Blaine you don't have an apartment, you have a house."

Blaine smiled with pride. "Well, it's not just mine. I live with four other guys. You'll probably meet most if not all of them. Wes, I think, is at rehearsal, but the others might be here." He put his key in the door and when he opened the door, Kurt and Blaine did this awkward exchange over Blaine gesturing to let Kurt in first, but Kurt insisting that Blaine go first because it was his house.

They toed off their shoes and Blaine lead Kurt to the living room around the corner. Kurt looked around as he went. This place was much bigger than his and Puck's tiny apartment. His own apartment had exactly four rooms. Two bed rooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen/living room combo. It was small, but function. This place looked like a palace compared to his place.

In the living room, two guys, a tall blonde and a short brunette, were playing a shoot 'em up game on an X-Box and big screen TV, while another, darker skinned man, sat in an oversized chair with a bunch of papers. The order went as follows: tall blond: Jeff, short brunette: Nick, man buried in papers: David.

They all waved and said some form of hello while Blaine explained that David just got his MBA at NYU and was looking at all the paperwork for his doctoral program. They went upstairs and Blaine showed Kurt the kitchen, where he started brewing coffee, pointed out the bathroom, whose bedroom was whose, and then brought him into the music room.

Kurt was in awe. The floor, chairs, and piano were covered in paper, there were various instruments around the room, and recording equipment in the corner. "Wow. You really have your stuff together."

"Not all of it's mine. The violin's are mine, the piano is mine, and a couple of the guitars, but the rest belong to Nick and Jeff downstairs. Except the recording equipment. Half of that belongs to Matty, some of it belongs to me, and the rest belong to Jeff. Matty pretends to be poor, but he's not. He's a trust fund kid. You should see his own set up at home. It's insane."

"Who's Matty?"

"Oh, sorry. He's our lead singer and lead guitarist. He lives on the other side of Brooklyn. He's a bartender at Jericho too. I think he only works there for something to do. He really is filthy rich."

Kurt looked around again. "And I bet you were little orphan Annie?" He was being sarcastic.

Blaine scratched his head. "Um. Well. No. Not exactly."

Kurt finally looked at Blaine for the first time since walking into the room. "I was kidding. I don't care either way. My dad was a mechanic. I never had to want for anything, he made sure of that, but I know what it's like to work for things."

"Was?"

"He's a congressman now."

"Oh wow! Wait… Ohio congressman?"

"Yes." Kurt look curious of what Blaine was getting at.

"As is Congressman Burt Hummel?"

"Yes."

"No way! That's your dad?"

"Yes?"

"I voted for him before I left Ohio. My dad didn't, but I did. He seemed into equality and supported the arts. He's done some great things."

Kurt beamed with pride at his father that he loved so much. "He has. He'll be happy to know I'm friends with a supporter. Hold on, you're from Ohio too?"

Blaine shrugged. "Yeah. Didn't I tell you?"

"No! That's is so weird! We're both from Ohio. Where are you from?"

"Westerville. I went to Dalton Academy."

Kurt looked more shocked than he ever had in his life. He knew Dalton Academy well. "Shut up! No you didn't."

Blaine laughed. "Yeah I did. Why?"

"I was like _this _close to going there my junior year." He pinched his fingers together to emphasis a small amount. "And my Glee Club used to compete against your school every year. The Warblers, right?"

"Your glee club? The only club I know of that we consistently competed against every year was the New Directions. I don't know where they were from."

"That was us! I was in that. New Directions! Holy shit this is a trip." Kurt touched his head.

"This is so strange. Talk about twilight zone. I think I just felt the earth move." Blaine was being sarcastic, but it really was a strange coincidence. They'd been in the same room multiple times before. "You guys were really good. You beat us every time."

"Except for that one time we tied, but…"

"Yeah you beat us at regional's later. Don't remind me. We were so bummed to not be going to National's in New York that year."

"That was the trip that made me positive that I had to live here. No offense, but I'm glad we won."

"Well, in that case, I'm glad you won too."

They stared at each other, smiling for a few seconds. Kurt broke their eye contact and looked around the room again. He sat down at the piano and opened the cover. He flitted his fingers across the piano. "Play me a song?" he asked.

"Seriously?"

"Yes. Please?"

Something about the way Kurt pouted made Blaine's heart melt and he sat down next to Kurt on the piano bench. He put his fingers on the keys and started to play the first song that he popped into his head.

**I can only give you love that last forever**

**And the promise to be near each time you call**

**And the only heart I own is yours and your alone**

**That's all, that's all**

**I can only give you country walks in spring time**

**And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall**

**And a love whose burning light will warm the winter night**

**That's all, that's all**

**There are those I am sure who have told you**

**They would give you the world for a toy**

**All I have ask for these arms to enfold you**

**And a love that time will never destroy**

**Now if you're wondering what I'm asking in return, Dear**

**You'll be glad to know that my demands are small**

**Say it's me that you'll adore for now and ever more**

**That's all, that's all.**

**That's all, that's all**

Blaine flitted his fingers down the length of the ivory keys and ended the song. He had a serene smile on his face. He'd always liked that song. It was one of his particular favorites. He looked at Kurt to gage his reaction to his singing, playing, and song choice Kurt was already staring at him. "What?" he asked.

Kurt was stunned into silence. Between the song, Blaine's voice, and the way he played the piano, he felt himself getting a little choked up. It'd been a while since he was moved by a song. Kurt batted his eyes, checking to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "That was beautiful." Blaine looked like he blushed and turned his head back down to the piano keys. "No really." Kurt touched Blaine's arm and Blaine looked back. "That was… wow." He covered his heart with his hand and breathed deeply. "Thank you for playing for me."

There was silence as Blaine's glossy eyes bore into Kurt's. "You're welcome."

Kurt was suddenly very aware that he had lips because his nerve endings were tingling. There was an electricity between them at that moment. The tension was palpable.

Blaine glanced down at Kurt's lips and then cleared his throat, before turning back to is piano. He remembered Kurt had a boyfriend and brought himself back to reality. "Do- um. Do you play?" He cleared his throat again and his fingers started playing different intervals.

Kurt gulped and batted his eyes again. "No. Not really. I mean, I know how to do scales and play silly, simple things like The Entertainer and Chopsticks, but that's pretty much it." He got up and started walking around the room. He was glad for the space between him and Blaine. "You play all these instruments?"

Blaine stopped playing the piano keys and stood up. "Yep. The violin," he pointed to three violins of different sizes that hung on the wall, "all these guitars," there were many that littered the room, "and the piano."

Footsteps were heard running up the stairs and in less than thirty seconds, a short, brunette man with messy styled hair popped in the room. "We're ordering Korean food if you guys want in."

Blaine looked to Kurt. "Do you have dinner plans?"

Kurt thought for a few seconds. "Um. No. No I don't."

"Do you want Korean food?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure. I haven't had it in ages."

"Great."

Kurt thought this was beginning to turn out to be an interesting afternoon and evening. What started out as coffee, turned out to be a mini adventure, his own personal concert, and now dinner.

When dinner came, the guys downstairs were watching a game on the TV that Kurt and Blaine had no interest in and they went back upstairs to the music room. Blaine laid out a blanket and they sat down on the floor with their food and a bottle of water each. Blaine also put the radio on to a station that played a variety of music.

"Vin seems nice."

"He is."

"What does he do?"

"He's a teacher."

"Of what?"

"Eighth grade science."

Blaine liked the way Kurt smiled when he said Vin was a teacher. Kurt looked proud of him. He wanted that. He wanted someone to be proud of him the way Kurt was proud of Vin. Although Vin did something of substance, something important. Vin was a middle school teacher, someone who shaped young minds. Blaine was a piano player at a bar and a bartender. He tried not to berate or compare himself, but when it came down to it, Vin had two things that Blaine wanted: a worthwhile job that made him happy and Kurt. "That's great," Blaine said.

"Yeah, he does this mad scientist thing at the beginning and end of every year. He dresses the part and does a bunch of experiments with chemicals that make the kids go OO and AHH. I wish I had a science teacher like him when I was in school. I might have actually enjoyed that class if I did."

"You sure you would have been able to pay attention with a teacher that looked like a Ken Doll?" Blaine smiled trying to show Kurt he was complimenting Vin.

Kurt smiled and chuckled silently. "Good point. Probably not."

Both men took bites of their food. "You know, I've been meaning to ask you for your number since the last time we had coffee, but I never had a chance. I'd really like to hang out more."

Kurt smiled softly. "I'd like that too. Here, do you have a pen?" Kurt leaned and reached over toward what looked like discarded papers on the floor. They were all papers with music staffs. He grabbed a blank one.

"In this room? Always." Blaine got up and took a cheap blue pen from the piano stand and handed it over.

Kurt's fingers brushed Blaine's when he took the pen and his eyes flicked away for a second, stuttering their normal action, at the feeling of Blaine's skin. He scribbled the pen point to get the ink to come out and jotted down his cell phone number. Blaine happily took the paper and his pen and reached to put them both onto the piano bench. The pen rolled off, but the piece of paper stayed. "Make sure you actually call me because if you don't I'm going to think that I'm one of those people that isn't all that much fun in retrospect."

"Oh. I'll definitely call. And believe me, in retrospect, you're anything but boring." On the contrary, to Blaine, in retrospect, Kurt was the kind of person worth going to a coffee shop everyday and waiting to spend just one minute with him.

"You know, it's strange. I barely know anything about you, yet I can talk to you like I've known you for years."

Blaine grinned. "Yeah. I feel the same. Weird, huh?

"Yeah. Weird."

Kurt used his chopsticks to eat some more. Blaine was trying not to stare, but there was something about the way Kurt ate his food. He was so delicate with everything, gentle and precise. He had to keep reminding himself that he was looking for too long and tried to mask it by shoveling more food into his mouth as neatly as possible.

By the time Kurt decided to go home, they'd discussed everything from music to high school, to college, to Burt Hummel's politics. When Kurt was saying goodbye and walking back to the train station, he realized that they never did have that cup of coffee that they said they would and hoped that Blaine would call soon to make plans.

"Is he your boyfriend?" David asked.

"Yeah, we didn't know if you wanted privacy or not, so Jeff and I stayed downstairs," Nick added.

"Is this was you three discussed the whole time we were up there?" Blaine asked.

"No. We only talked about it for five minutes."

"Well, he's not my boyfriend. We're just friends. Actually, you'll never believe who his father is."

Blaine sat down on the couch and continued to gush over his afternoon and evening with Kurt Hummel, the son of a congressman, and talked endlessly about everything. When he was finally done, the other three guys got it in their heads that Blaine was crushing on Kurt harder than a teenage girl.

* * *

><p><strong>Song: That's All By Frank Sinatra. <strong>

**Please Review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**

**Go to my Tumblr page to hear the song sung by Darren Criss**


	8. Chapter 8

**Please read the A/N at the end of the chapter!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

Kurt felt like he was in a frenzy to find a job fast. Rent needed to come from somewhere. He begrudgingly asked his father for a loan and his father happily obliged. "You don't have to pay me back, son," he said.

"No, Dad. I need to make my own way. I'll pay you back when I have the money. I don't know when that will be, but I'll get it, I promise."

"I'll give you the money, but think of it as a graduation gift. I'm so proud of you and I know New York City is expensive. I want you to have everything you need, so just take the money. I don't wanna hear another word about it, Kurt."

Kurt sighed into the phone. "Okay, Dad. Thank you."

"One more thing. I know you've got a line up of interviews this week, but I want you to think about something."

"What's that?"

"I know you've got a Master's Degree and all-"

"-Not yet. I'll have it on Saturday," Kurt correct. "You'll be able to make it, right? Graduation? Ten o'clock?"

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world. The whole family'll be there Carol and I are checking into our hotel on Friday evening, but that's not what I was going to say."

"Okay, shoot."

"Even though you have an advanced degree, there is no shame in taking a job for the money, no matter how lowly it may seem to you. I mean, I'd appreciate it if you weren't a stripper or a prostitute because that's not something I want to be worrying about, but if you were, I'd still love you." Burt started rambling to backtrack what he was trying to say in case Kurt was considering becoming a prostitute. Burt was one of those father's that knew how hard Kurt's life was and wanted to support his son in any way possible, be that monetary or emotional. Kurt was his pride and joy and he'd never stop loving him. To love Kurt was to love the memory of Kurt's mother and to forget or dismiss either one was to spit on the other. He'd have none of that. Kurt was his son and he'd love his son until that day he died. He was adamant about that and he didn't care who knew it. More than once he'd marched with Kurt, hand in hand, at a gay pride parade, holding a sign that read "Proud Political Father for Gay Rights." Carol, his step mother, and Finn marched that day too. She wore a shirt that read: My gay son planned my wedding/ He should have one too. Finn's sign was one that Rachel made for him. It was covered in glitter and read: Gay= Happy/ Happy= what I am to have a gay brother. And to think, Kurt was once frightened the very people who did this for him, would hate him.

"Dad!" Kurt interrupted. "I know what you're trying to say. Don't worry. I'm not going to start stripping or go-go dancing or selling myself under highways. Although, I appreciate the sentiment. I know what you mean. You're saying that even though I'll have my master's degree, if I start slinging hash at a diner so I can make rent, I shouldn't be ashamed."

"Exactly. You know what it's like to have to work hard and you're a man now, so that means that working hard for a living is part of the deal. You're a Hummel. Hummel men don't get pushed around, remember? Hard work and thriving is in our blood. So don't let anyone get you down, even yourself."

"I got it. Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome. How fast do you need the money? Can I wire it to you, or can you wait to get it when I see you on Friday night?"

"I can wait until Friday."

"Okay then. I gotta go. Press conference. Tell you're brother and Rachel I said 'hi.'"

"I will do that. Love you, Dad."

"Love you too, Kurt. Don't worry about too many things. Things will fall into place when they're supposed to."

"Thanks."

Kurt took his father's advice and immediately went down the street to a corner store to buy a newspaper. He figured if businesses were desperate enough to pay for a Help Wanted ad, then they'd be quick to hire. The interviews he had lined up for the week were for Middle and High school guidance counselors. His dad was right. He needed something to pay the bills and he needed it now. If he got one of those guidance counselor positions then he'd still be broke until the Fall and he desperately wanted to not be in debt. He bought four different Newspapers and brought them all back to his apartment. He took out a highlighter and circled the ones that seemed promising enough to be able to pay his bills for the time being. He looked over at the clock and saw that it was time to go. He took his newspapers with him and put them in his briefcase. He quickly looked in a mirror to make sure that his attire was perfect interview clothes and not too overdone.

On the train, he was happy for his graduation gift from the professor he was a TA to because it was a metro card with a $100 limit. He also gave him a frame for his degree and an NYU sweatshirt. Mr. Jones was a practical man and was counted on to be the one to give Kurt something of use.

His advisor, associating Kurt with coffee because he always had one in his hand when he came to see him, gave him a gift card to his favorite café along with taking all the other graduates in the department out to a fancy dinner, which Kurt couldn't make because he had to work at the call center. So his advisor gave him an extra gift certificate to that particular restaurant for $50.

The call center workers and runners were the most thoughtful. They gave him an envelope of gift cards and cash that ranged in prices. Kurt teared up when he got this gift because he knew how little everyone made there and how most of them were volunteers, but they all thought about him long enough to want to give him something. Five of the cards were for Whole Foods grocery store and there were a couple metro cards in there that totaled $30. The cash amount totaled $40 and three of the gift cards were Visa gift cards that totaled $75. There were several others, but he didn't see himself using them anytime soon because they were for stores and since he didn't have a job, he had no need to be buying clothes or electronics.

He went to three different interviews back to back that day at two middle schools and one high school. They all went well. He hoped to get the job to the second school. It was as a guidance counselor at the Harvey Milk School. After that he took a train into Times Square and headed for one of the off Broadway theaters at 1:00.

His first stop was to answer an add that he found in the paper for a ticket agent to work in the box office at an off Broadway theater. He walked in and everything in the lobby looked like utter chaos. There were boxes everywhere and only one person that seemed to be bustling around. He could hear construction workers in the auditorium and he had no idea who to talk to.

He started with the guy trying to hustle the lobby into something that resembled a lobby.

"Hey, who are you? We're not doing press right now," a portly man in a white t-shirt and suspenders stated. He picked up another box.

Kurt looked down at himself. He was dressed like a business man without the blazer. "Um. No. I'm not a reporter."

"Then what are you doing here?" His voice had a thick accent like he was from New Jersey or Staten Island.

"I'm here about the ad in the paper for a ticket agent."

"What's you're name?"

"Kurt Hummel."

"You got a criminal record?"

"No."

"You an actor?"

"No, Sir."

"Musician?"

"No."

"When can you start?"

"I'm sorry?" Kurt thought he heard wrong. _Was this guy hiring me based on those questions alone?_

"You deaf? When can you start?"

He widened his eyes and shook his head minutely to get a grip on the situation. "I-um. As soon as possible."

"Great. Welcome aboard. It pays twelve bucks an hour. Come with me. We'll bang out your paperwork and you can get started."

"Now?"

"You got somewhere better to be? I need someone now." The man looked around at the mess of boxes. "Like yesterday, now. You can't start right now, you can walk yourself back out."

"No. I can start now," Kurt hurriedly stated.

"Great. I'm Ned Sterling. I run this theater. Call me anything, but Sir or Sterling, and you'll be out on your ass." He put his box down and gestured as he turned away from Kurt. "Follow me." Kurt immediately traversed around the boxes and followed Sterling. "I turned away five people already today. Everyone's a friggen actor or musician in this city. I don't need people that are gonna ask me to leave for auditions whenever their friggen agents call. I need workers. I need people who will do what I say when I say it. You got that?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. You do that and you'll do just fine. I run a business- what did you say you're name was again?"

"Kurt, Sir. Kurt Hummel."

"As I was saying. I run a business, Hummel. Broadway may be about lights and magic, but all that crap is for the customers. People like us bust our asses so that everything runs smoothly. If everything runs smoothly, all the customers will see is magic and promises and shit. The only promise you'll see is a paycheck if you do your job, got it?"

"Got it." Kurt was able to see why Sterling had no workers. They probably were either all artists or fired or left because this guy was an asshole. But Kurt wasn't about to complain. This guy just gave him a job on the spot. He could deal with assholes. He dealt with them often. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut and do what he was told. He could do that.

Sterling led him to an office that was also littered with boxes. The entire hallway was lined with boxes just like the lobby. Everywhere he looked: boxes. He didn't know what was in them, but he had a suspicion that his entire job today would be to move as many as possible.

When all the paperwork was done, Sterling suggested that Kurt lose the briefcase and tie. He showed him a locker he could have and Kurt also took off his button up along with his tie. That left him with his slacks and undershirt.

"Tomorrow come in wearing clothes that you're not worried about ruining. Your shirt and ties are only for performance nights. Right now you'll be doing grunt work until we're good and ready. You can start with the boxes in the lobby. If they're labeled with an S, P, or L bring it to the auditorium; if it's got a B, M, or A, put it in the hallway. If it's got an O, it goes in my office. Whatever doesn't have a label can be stacked and left in the lobby. It's for the costume department and they'll come pick it up whenever they get their asses in gear. Friggen rookies, they are. They had their shit delivered here instead of at their homes or offices. Anyway, that's where the boxes go. Clear?"

"Crystal. O, office; M,B,A hallway; S,P,L auditorium; everything else, lobby."

"Good. You listen. I like a guy, who listens, Hummel. Now let's get to it." After they hashed out Kurt's hiring paperwork, Sterling left Kurt to his own devices and went into his office to make some calls.

By five o'clock, Sterling had hired one other guy on the spot, like he did Kurt, and one woman. Between the three of them, the lobby was completely empty with the exception of the boxes that were neatly stacked for the costume department.

"Okay, kiddos," Sterling said at five o'clock. "Dinner. Even you, Pepper. I know I hired you an hour ago, but I'm going to dinner and I don't need to be paying you to sit around and wonder what to do while I'm gone. So let's get some food."

Sterling took Kurt, Pepper, an apparently timid woman in college, and Kelly, a man in his late thirties, to a nearby deli and bought them all dinner. He may have been an asshole, but at least he seemed to know it and want to do some good by his workers.

When Kurt sat down, He realized how much he had been exerting himself and it felt good to relax. Hauling boxes as fast as possible for hour hours straight would do that to a person. He checked his phone and had two missed calls. One was from Vin, and another from Rachel. Vin called on his lunch break and wanted to say hello and Rachel was on her break from Rehearsal and wanted to gush about it. Then he saw he had a text from Blaine. He smiled.

**B- I got the job! The pit director called me earlier to tell me I got the position.**

**K- That's great! Congrats!**

**B- Thank you! I want to celebrate, but I have a show tonight. Hey! Do you want to go? My band's playing tonight.**

**K- What time?**

**B- Ten.**

**K- Um. Sure I think I can make it.**

**B- Awesome! See you then!**

Kurt called Puck and left a voicemail. "Want to go to a concert tonight? A friend is playing." His second call was to Vin, who picked up immediately. "I can't talk long, but I wanted to call you back."

"Oh, okay. You busy?"

"I little. I got a job. I'm on my break right now."

"That's great! What are you doing?"

"Ticket agent at an off Broadway theater. I'll tell you more later."

"You sound tired."

"Not really. I have a job. I should be so lucky." Admittedly, Kurt was a little tired, but he didn't want to admit it in front of his boss. He'd only been working four hours, but it was four hours of labor that he wasn't used to in a long time. Lugging boxes was not something he made a habit of. He did feel a little bad that he wasn't as enthused to talk to Vin, but that was only because he couldn't think of anything to say. He didn't have time for a normal conversation and there were people around too. "I'm sorry, Babe. I'll call you later. I just wanted to tell you that I got your call."

"Are you okay? You don't sound good. I'm worried."

"Yeah. I'm good. I'll talk to you later."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay. I'll be up late, so call me anytime."

"I won't call too late, but I'll call." They ended their call and Kurt pocketed his phone.

Kurt ended up calling Vin back when he was getting ready to see Blaine's band. Blaine had sent him another text with the address of the bar he was playing at. Puck agreed to go with him. Vin was concerned about the way Kurt spoke on the phone earlier, but Kurt explained it was because his boss was right there and he couldn't really talk. Kurt, however, was much happier to talk to Vin in private. They chatted about Kurt's interviews and Kurt complained about Sterling, but admonished that he was just happy to have a job for now. Vin talked about school that day and some of the interesting things that happened with his students. He said that he had a student that reminded him of a younger version of Kurt and his name was Lee.

"I've started standing in the hallways and making excuses for myself to inconspicuously follow him around. He's picked on quite a bit and it's starting to get to him. He's gone to the counselor, but she knows nothing, no offense Babe-"

"None taken. My high school guidance counselor didn't do much either. Anyway, continue."

"So, I sort of took it upon myself to look after him. You know, him being part of the family and all." _Part of the family_ was a phrase that Kurt had never heard until he got older. He learned it was a phrase that was code for _He/She is gay like us._ It gave a deeper meaning to the term _Gay Community_.

"That's noble of you."

"Nobility has nothing to do with it. It's basic and civil rights, you know that. You went through it like the rest of us did."

"Yeah, I remember."

"I guess, since meeting you, I see what you meant when you told me that protecting and helping these kids are your calling. I became a teacher because instructing was something I was good at and I liked science, but now I have a whole new admiration and love for my job. I want to be as powerful a figure in these kids' lives as you will be when you become an educator. I'm sure all those kids you spoke too at the call center will remember you for the rest of their lives."

Kurt felt that he should feel proud and be smiling, but instead, he felt modest. This was something that he knew already. He'd had many people praise him and he'd come to feel that notoriety isn't what he sought. He felt it was his duty to help others. It went back to how he felt he wasn't there for Dave when Dave needed someone the most. He ignored helping one person, so now he had to atone for that by helping the many. "I'm proud of you, Vin. I think it takes bravery to help others. Now I feel guilty for taking you away from Lee. You may not be there for him next year."

Vin was silent. Obviously this wasn't something he thought of and was now taking it in.

"I'm sorry, Babe. I didn't mean to put it that way."

"No. You're right. I won't be." His voice seemed bummed out and deep in thought. "I guess I have more to think about than I thought, huh?"

"No one ever said picking up and leaving everything behind was easy." There was a pause. "You know… you don't _have_ to move in. If your students mean that much to you. I won't be upset with you. I'd understand. You can live here the whole summer and then we'll go back to visiting each other on vacations and long weekends. We'll both be in the school system, so we might have the same vacation schedule and everything. Or we might be on opposite schedules so we'd have one week in New York and one week in Vermont together. Twice as much time as we have now." Kurt was trying to be supportive because Vin is always so supportive of him and he didn't want to be selfish by assuming he could have everything he wanted.

"I can't do that, Kurt. I _want_ to be with you. I _want_ to be near you as much as possible. I-" he stopped himself. "I miss you. I know I left yesterday, but, shit, Kurt…"

"What is it?" Kurt furrowed his eyebrows in concern. Vin was sounding distressed.

"I just don't get how I'm the only one who feels physical pain when your not around. Missing you hurts. I don't want to miss you anymore."

Now Kurt understood. Vin thought that Kurt didn't feel for him as strongly as he felt for Kurt because Kurt never expressed how much he needed to be around Vin. Vin was very open about how Kurt made him feel; he never told Kurt he loved him, but he made his feelings known. Kurt had always been more reserved. "I'm sorry, Vin. I think I've somehow mislead you on how I feel. I thought you knew, but I guess I didn't make it that obvious. I want you here just as much as you want to be. But here's the thing, I used to people leaving me. I'm used to people coming into my life, dazzling me and making me believe that a long term future is what's going to happen and then they up and leave with no clues as to why that happened or why I wasn't good enough to make them want to stay. I'm crazy about you and it sucks when you're not here. No buts, Vin. It just sucks. I don't know how else to say it. You seem to want the best for me and I've never had that. I was always the one to sacrifice in a relationship and the fact that you are more than willing to up and leave your life to join mine, blows me away. I just want you to know that I'll support whatever decision you make because you've done the same for me." There was silence again after Kurt's big speech. "Vin?" Kurt asked. "You still there?"

"Uh, yeah," Kurt thought he heard a sniffle. "Sorry. I… God, I wish we were having this conversation face to face. I'm sticking with the plan to be there. No regrets. I'm going to be with you."

"Are you okay, Vin?"

"Yeah, Kurt. I… I'm crazy about you too." Kurt smiled, but he was concerned for Vin. He felt that Vin was holding something back. He didn't know what, but there was definitely something not being said on Vin's part. "I can't promise you forever because I can't predict the future, but you're- you're amazing and I don't know how anyone could think you were enough. You're more than enough. You're perfect."

"I'm not perfect."

"You're perfect to me."

Kurt smiled again and realized that he had stopped trying to get ready and was sitting on his bed in his boxers. Puck popped his head in Kurt's room without knocking and asked if he was ready to go. Kurt shook his head, but Vin heard Puck's voice in the background.

"Oh. I'm keeping you. I'm sorry."

"No! Don't think that. It's just Puck. We're going out tonight. There's a band playing live at this bar in Brooklyn. It doesn't matter what time we show up."

"It's okay. I'll let you go so you can finish getting ready. You and Puck rarely hang out together outside of the apartment, so go. Have fun."

"You sure? I can talk and get dressed."

"No. Really. It's fine. I…" Vin sighed and Kurt knew there was something Vin was trying to say, but wouldn't. He wondered what was so hard for Vin to say. "I miss you. I'll see you in a couple weeks."

"I'll talk to you before then, you know."

"Yeah. Okay, go. Before Puck gets antsy and leaves without you."

"Okay… Goodnight, Vin."

"Goodnight, Kurt."

Kurt felt bad when he ended the call because he felt that there was something wrong. He didn't want to leave it that way.

Puck peeked his head in again while Kurt was putting on the outfit he picked out. "Hey, is this a gay bar?"

"No. Why?"

"Just wondering if I'd have the opportunity to mack on the ladies."

Kurt chuckled breathily. "Yeah, Puck. You do that."

"Sweet. You almost ready?"

"Almost."

They left fifteen minutes later and when they arrived at the bar, Blaine's band had already started. Puck and Kurt ordered a couple drinks and Kurt said he was going to get closer to the stage. He found a table for two pretty close to the stage and sat down alone. Blaine was off to the side at the keyboards, but Kurt was straight in his eye line. It took exactly ten seconds for Blaine to spot him and he smiled as he sang back up vocals to the song. He was clearly happy that Kurt made it.

Kurt smiled back and looked at the rest of the band. He recognized Nick on the drums and Jeff on the bass guitar. He assumed the lead sing on the lead guitar was who Blaine mentioned as Matty.

"These guys aren't half bad," Puck mentioned when he sat down at Kurt's table.

"Yeah. They're pretty good. I thought you'd be macking on the ladies by now."

"I got all night. We never hang out. How'd you hear about these guys?"

"A friend. The guy playing the keyboards is a bartender at Jericho. He knows Santana."

"Santana? Lopez?" She lives in the NY?"

"Yep. She looks good too. She's still with Brittany."

"Woah. Nice. We'll have to get together with them sometime. New Directions reunion." Three songs later and Puck spotted some chick he thought was hot. They disappeared almost instantly and Kurt was impressed at how quickly Puck worked.

By the time Blaine's band took was taking a break, Kurt had had three drinks. Blaine hopped off the stage after talking to his band mates for a moment. He went over to Kurt and sat down. "This seat taken?"

Kurt smiled. "By you." He batted his eyes, but not to be flirtatious. "You guys are good."

"Thanks!"

"How come you don't sing lead. Matty's good and all, but you're really good too."

"I do sometimes, but it's his band and he likes to sing lead. Every now and then I sing. I'll sing one when we get back up there."

"Congrats on getting the pianist job! That's so amazing!"

Blaine beamed and tucked his head down bashfully. "Thank you. Now my dad can finally shut up about my major being a waste of money."

"You're really talented, Blaine." There was a moment where Kurt caught Blaine's eyes and they stared before Kurt spoke again. "Can I get you a drink to celebrate? You said you wanted to go out."

"Um… I'm not sure I'll have time, but if you don't have anything to do in the morning, we can get drinks after our set is done." Blaine sounded hopeful.

"Uh. I have to work in the morning. Got to be there by eight and it takes me almost an hour to get home from here."

"Oh. One drink then? We only have a few songs left before our time is up and it'll will only take like fifteen minutes to clear our stuff into Matty's van."

Kurt smiled. "Sure. I think I can manage to stay out long enough for that."

Blaine was about to say something else when Nick came up to them and put his hand on Blaine's shoulder. "We gotta start again. Hi, Kurt."

"Hey!"

Blaine turned back to Kurt. "Gotta go."

"I'll be here."

Blaine got up and went back to the stage with Nick. Blaine resumed his palce at the keyboards and Matty started singing a song that Kurt knew. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he checked it. It was from Puck.

**P- Don't mean to ditch you or anything, but I'm taking this hottie back to our place.**

**K- No worries. I can make it home on my own. Have fun with what's her name.**

**P- Becca. Her name's Becca. Or maybe Bella? Whatever, she's hot and she'll be gone by morning.**

**K- You're a slut.**

**P- I'm the man : )**

Kurt pocket his phone again and resumed watching Blaine's band. Matty announced that they'll be playing two more songs and introduced the members of the band. When he got to Blaine, he made a special introduction saying that Blaine was going to be singing the next song.

Blaine got up and switched places with Matty. Matty sat at keyboards and Blaine put the guitar strap over his shoulder.

"This is a song we've been working on that I wrote called Last First Kiss."

Nick started out first on the drums making it sound like a hard jazzy song with a rock and roll/blues twist. Kurt immediately started swaying his head to the beat. It was one of those songs you couldn't help, but move to even though it was a slow ballad.

Then Blaine started strumming the electric guitar and leaned forward to the microphone.

**We might have met His children**

**Maybe it's been a couple weeks**

**I don't even know anymore**

**Cause you have that effect on me**

**And now I'm feeling like forever just showed up at my door**

**I've got a little piece of heaven **

**That's all mine to hold on to**

Kurt stopped sipping on his drink. He was almost frozen. He was so impressed with Blaine's voice and stage presence. He heard him sing yesterday, but seeing the crowd react the way they were and watching Blaine do what he did best made Kurt really awe at him. He was so good at this.

**What I'm trying to say**

**In my own simple way**

**Is that I want you to be my last first kiss**

**I want you to be my last first kiss**

**My heart, yes it's finally found**

**My heart, yes it's finally found**

**Someone I can't live without**

It was only a second, but Kurt saw it, Blaine glanced at him. He smiled because it was flattering for the lead singer in a band to catch someone's eyes.

**I wonder what you're thinking **

**whenever you not around**

**Any secret I was keeping**

**I want to tell you right now**

**And when I dream about tomorrow**

**I've got you on my mind**

Blaine was purposely trying not to look at Kurt. If he was honest, and he wasn't trying to be, the song was inspired by Kurt. It wasn't one hundred percent about him, but his thoughts on the porcelain man was definitely in there. Blaine knew that Kurt had a boyfriend and didn't want to get in the middle of it, even though the crush was there, so he forced himself to keep his eyes away from Kurt. Subconsciously he would slip, but once he realized he was looking at Kurt, he would turn his eyes away again.

**I am hopelessly devoted**

**Just want you in my life**

**What I'm trying to say**

**In my own simple way**

**Is that I want you to be my last first kiss**

**I want you to be my last first kiss**

**My heart, yes it's finally found**

**My heart, yes it's finally found**

**Someone I can't live without**

**I promise you **

**Nothing new**

**Is gonna come around changing my mind**

**Nothing new**

**Only you on my mind**

**What I'm trying to say**

**In my own simple way**

**Is that I want you to be my last first kiss**

**I want you to be my last first kiss**

**My heart, yes it's finally found**

**My heart, yes it's finally found**

**Someone I can't live without**

The song ended and Kurt was still staring. His heart was beating hard and a smile played at his lips. He started clapping and watching Blaine go back to the keyboard as Matty announced their last song.

_It's nothing_, he told himself. _He had a good voice and he's talented. It's nothing. This is a showmance. That's all, a reaction to a talented person in the spotlight. You don't have a crush on him. Vin; not Blaine. Vin. VIN; VIN; VIN. It'll go away by the time he sits down with you._ Now, if only he could believe his own words.

Their set ended and Blaine helped his band mates clear out their gear. By the time Blaine came back, Kurt was nervous. His heart fluttered. _Goddamn, heart. Don't do that! Beat normally, you stupid thing. It's Blaine. Just Blaine._

"So, how about that celebratory drink?" Blaine asked with a grin.

Kurt's heart jumped again. _Damnit,_ Kurt thought. "Sure!" _I could use one… or five._ They went up to the bar and Kurt ordered four shots. Two shots of Whisky and two shots of Patron.

"Woah!" Blaine exclaimed. "You trying to get me drunk?"

_I'm trying to calm myself down._ "No. Whisky is a broadway tradition and Tequila is just for fun."

"No Midori Sours?" Blaine joked.

Kurt laughed. _Fuck, that wasn't that funny. Stop it, Kurt! Vin, remember? Vin, not Blaine._ "That's not all I drink."

They each took one shot glass of Whisky and clinked their glasses. "To Broadway. Or, off Broadway." Blaine smiled.

"To you," Kurt said. _Fuck, shut up and take the damn shot!_ Kurt was tired of having to self correction himself in his head. He threw the drink down his throat and swallowed. He saw Blaine wince as it burned on the way down and Kurt thought how cute Blaine looked when he smiled back at him.

"Thank you," Blaine responded after clearing his throat.

"For what?" Kurt asked.

"You're the only one who gets it."

"Gets what?"

"This," Blaine emphasized and raised the empty shot glass. "All my friends, they don't get how big a deal this is for me. To be in the orchestra of a show. It's off Broadway, but that's still huge, you know?"

Kurt's face softened and his heart calmed down. He wasn't nervous anymore. Suddenly all his worries weren't on himself. They were on Blaine feeling grateful that someone was there for him. "I do know. You're really talented, Blaine. Everyone should be proud of you, no matter what you do."

Blaine's face held gratitude and affection. He put the empty glass down and grabbed the other one. He raised it like he had the other one. "To you."

"To me?"

"Thank you."

Kurt smiled the same way Blaine was and handed Blaine a small container off the bar. "You forgot the salt."

Blaine smiled wider, feeling something passing between them that he knew would go unspoken. He put his glass down gently, licked the back side of his hand and sprinkled a little salt on it. He watched Kurt do the same and flicked his eyes away after realizing he was staring at Kurt's lips and tongue as if in slow motion.

They clinked glasses, licked the salt of their own hands, took the shots, bit into a lemon each.

* * *

><p>The song is "Last First Kiss" by Ron Pope. I know I said that Blaine wrote it, but for copyright purposes, it's Ron Pope's song. You'll see other's through this story were Blaine "writes the songs" but in reality they'll be from real singersbands. I'll post them on my tumblr.

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Kurt heard the buzzing of the alarm clock in his ears and he groaned, throwing his hand out and searching for the snooze button on his alarm clock blindly. He missed and swung again. Another miss. He opened his eyes to see the time and realized the clock wasn't where he always had it. He shot himself up off the mattress and looked around. He wasn't in his room. He didn't know where he was. Kurt quickly lurched himself over and turned off the alarm clock. It was six in the morning.

He carded his fingers through his hair. His head was pounding. He had a hangover and was possibly still drunk. Kurt groaned again and got out of the bed. Thankfully he was fully clothed and alone, which meant that he had been on his best behavior, even though he ended up somewhere other than his own home. He rubbed his head again and took a deep breath before opening the bedroom door.

The morning light of sunrise immediately hit him and he winced as he covered his eyes. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he padded through the hallway silently. He heard soft, deep breathing and the second he looked into the room and his eyes sight cleared up, he knew where he was.

On a futon, on the other side of a room that was filled with musical instruments and sheet music, laid Blaine, curled up in a blanket and sleeping softly. Kurt smiled at how peaceful and beautiful Blaine looked. He blinked and as Blaine made a small noise and readjusted his sleeping position, Kurt remembered the events of last night.

After the shots Kurt bought Blaine and himself. Blaine bought another round of drinks for both of them and they sat down to talk. One drink turned into two and then a third, and so on. One conversation slid easily into another and another. Drink after drink; laugh after laugh, story after story, Kurt ended up more drunk than he'd been in years. He vaguely remembered Blaine asking Kurt where he lived and Kurt slurred out something about a kitchen and sex with a woman. Kurt knew what he meant to say now, but he can see how it would be impossible for Blaine to decipher it. What he was trying to say was that he lived in Hell's Kitchen with his room mate Puck, who was probably having sex with the woman he took home last night, but obviously that's what came out. So, instead, Blaine took him to his house and tucked Kurt into his own bed and fell asleep in the music room.

Blaine looked so peaceful as he was and Kurt didn't want to disturb him. He took one last look, thanked him silently for taking care of him, and headed downstairs, hoping his shoes were down there. Luckily they were and He silently made his way out of their house and began walking the three quarters of a mile to the subway station. If he hopped in a taxi as soon as he arrived in Hell's kitchen, he'd have just enough time to change his clothes, brush his teeth, wash his face, and down some aspirin for his headache. If Puck made coffee, he'd grab some of that too.

By 7:55, Kurt was walking into the theater and feeling like shit because his hangover was kicking his ass. Also, he had no idea where his cell phone was. He was just glad that he had his wallet and keys. Those he found in his shoes when he was putting them on back at Blaine's house.

"Hard night?" Sterling asked when Kurt walked into the office to punch his time card.

"Something like that."

"I don't really care. Just as long as you work and avoid throwing up in anything other than the toilets."

"Got it."

"You got here first so I'll give you the option of what to do. Set up the box office, dust this place top to bottom, or assemble all of the pieces that are in the boxes in the auditorium."

"I guess I'll go with the box office."

"Good choice. Dusting this place is a bitch. I'm going to give that job to Pepper because I think she'd be useless at assembly and she'd probably rather be as far away from me as possible."

"Probably."

"I like you, Hummel. You're easy to talk to." Sterling tossed Kurt a set of keys marked "BO" that Kurt assumed stood for "Box office."

"Thanks? Actually, I-"

"You might want to get going on that box office. You have a load of shit to do."

"Uh… yeah. Got it." Kurt left Sterling's office and passed Pepper and Kelly in the hallway. He nodded hello to both of them and went on his way.

At lunch time, Sterling took Kurt, Pepper, and Kelly out for lunch again. Kurt's hangover was nearing it's end. Lots of water helped. Near the end of the lunch hour, Kurt decided to ask Sterling some much needed questions about the job. "Um. Sterling?"

"What?" the portly man said with a chunk of sandwich on the side of his mouth.

"I was wondering if there was going to be a set schedule, or…?"

"Or what? Don't bullshit me, Kid. What day do you want off?"

"Uh, well, this Saturday is my graduation and my family is flying in on Friday night. I'll work Friday, but I was hoping to get Saturday off, just this once."

"Graduation? What are you graduating from?"

"Grad school, Sir. NYU." Normally Kurt would say that with pride, but he didn't want to see cocky to a man who seemed like he would fire Kurt just for asking for the day off."

"Grad school, eh? What in the fuck are you doing working for me then?"

"I needed a job immediately." Kurt left out the part about how this was only intended to be a summer job.

"Well, shit. I got lucky then, didn't I? I got an educated kid on my team." He bit into his sandwich again.

"So, can I get Saturday off?

"What?" Sterling asked. "Oh yeah. Sure kid. You can have the whole weekend off. Come back in on Monday at eight."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!"

"Don't get too excited. I'm gonna need you to work late on Monday too. If you really wanna thank me, you can work a fourteen hour day and not complain."

"I can do that."

"Might as well get one weekend off before the show opens. Then you'll be working every weekend."

Around four o'clock, Kurt had spent nearly his entire day in the box office and it was starting to resemble one. He was looking forward to the end of his work day at five o'clock because he was exhausted. Sterling walked in holding, what looked like, a high end camera that photographers or the paparazzi used. "You know how to use one of these, Hummel?"

"A camera? Uh, point and shoot?"

"A simple yes or no would have sufficed, Wiseass."

Kurt grinned. "Yes. I do," he amended.

"Good." He handed Kurt an address and the camera. "I want you to go to that address and meet up with a guy named Pollo. He's the director of the orchestra. I want you to take a picture of all the orchestra members, the director, and a group shot. When you're done, bring the camera back, upload the pictures onto my computer, and you can be done for the day."

"Okay. Uh, Sir. I don't have a car." He paused. "Or money for a taxi."

"What? You think I was gonna make you pay cab fare for doing my work?" He grumbled something and shoved a handful of bills into Kurt's hand. "I want a receipt for the cab fare and the change."

"Yes, Sir."

"I like you, Hummel. It's always a yes from you. Doesn't matter what I ask, you always seem okay with anything."

"I try to-"

"Clock's ticking, Hummel. Better get going."

Kurt closed his mouth. After this being the second time today that Sterling told him he liked him and the second time Kurt tried to explain himself while being interrupted, he realized that Sterling probably never listens to a word anyone else says unless it involved telling him they were going to do what he asked. By any means, Ned Sterling was not a listener. "Yes, Sir."

"See? Always a yes. I like that in a guy." Sterling turned and left the box office.

Kurt put down everything he was doing and left the theater with the camera and address. Before hailing a cab, he stopped at a Starbucks for a cup of coffee. He was glad again for having a gift certificate. He only partially lied about not having money for a cab, but that was only because cab fare was expensive and he didn't want to be spending his money at work to be doing work.

Kurt had gotten out of the taxi at a place he knew well. He'd come here with Rachel on several occasions for moral support while she had auditions. He went up to the third floor and found the room he was looking for. He could hear the sounds of the many instruments and he smiled. He always loved the sound of live orchestral music. He poked his head in and waited for the conductor to acknowledge him.

"Are you Kurt?" the conductor asked.

"Yes." He held up the camera. "Sterling sent me. Sorry to interrupt."

Kurt assumed this guy was Pollo based on the fact that he was the director. "Everyone, this young man will be taking your pictures. Once you're finished with him, you can leave for the day."

Every face turned to look at Kurt and Kurt perked up when he saw a familiar face smiling back at him from the piano.

"We'll start with the woodwinds. You can go first. Blaine? You and the percussions will be last." Pollo looked back at Kurt. Take them in the hallway. There's a white back drop around this corner."

"I need a group shot. Before you send them out, can I get a shot of everyone playing?"

"Sure thing." He turned to his orchestra and lifted his baton. In precision, everyone raised their instruments properly. Well, the ones that could be raised. Kurt took a few pictures from different angles, but no one played a note.

When he was finished he waited for the band members to pack up their instruments. It took longer than he imagined to take everyone's picture. Everyone came out, one by one, and finally, at the very end, Blaine and the director came out as well. Pollo went first and then said goodbye to Kurt.

Kurt turned and aw Blaine waiting. He smiled and blushed a little because he was embarrassed that Blaine had to take care of him last night. Blaine held out Kurt's cell phone. "You forgot this at my house."

Kurt's eyes lit up. "Oh my god. I was wondering where that went."

"I found it in my bed. I got you to put everything in your shoes, so you wouldn't lose them, but you insisted on taking your phone to bed with you."

Kurt took the phone and put it in his pocket. By now, the battery was dead, but it didn't matter to him. He had it and didn't have to buy another one. That's all that he cared about. "Thank you. I am so sorry. I'm so embarrassed." He palmed his face and looked away from Blaine.

Blaine waltz up to Kurt and took his hands down from his face. "Don't be. It happens to the best of us. Besides… we had fun. Thank you for staying."

"Thanks for taking care of me… and- Oh God! Thank you for setting the alarm clock!"

"You told me you had to be at work at eight and that it took you an hour to get home from Brooklyn. I didn't want you to lose your job."

"Yeah. You're amazing. Thank you so much." Without thinking, Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and hugged him. When he realized what he was doing, he let go immediately and stepped back.

"What do you do, by the way? Photographer?"

"Uh… no. Um, right now I work for a theater as a ticket agent, but for now, I'm sort of just my boss' errand boy. It's just until I get a job that utilizes my degree. Actually, I started yesterday. He sort of hired me on the spot."

"Well, then we had double the reason to celebrate. We both got jobs. We can really celebrate when I get a real job."

"Deal. You were there for me and I'll be there for you." Their eyes caught and they stared for a few seconds.

Kurt noticed that this happened frequently. There would be moments of silence and they'd just stare into each other's eyes, lost. It took just as long to snap out of it. He smiled and looked away. "So… about this picture." Kurt ended up taking more than enough pictures of Blaine than he needed to. "Thanks again for keeping my phone safe."

"Your welcome." Blaine put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground momentarily like he was trying to think up a reason to stay there talking to Kurt. "I woke up and you weren't there."

"You were sleeping and I had to get to work. I didn't want to wake you up."

"You could've. I wouldn't have been bothered or anything. I probably would have just went into my room and slept in my own bed."

"Thanks for that too, by the way. I probably would have felt guilty waking up next to another guy."

"Yeah. I figured. Plus, we just started to hang out and I didn't want it to be weird or anything."

"Weirder than having to take care of a very drunk me on the second time we hung out. Not to mention it was YOUR night."

Blaine smirked and laughed slightly. "It was fun. I had fun."

"I had fun too. I think. From what I remember I had fun."

Blaine and Kurt laughed at the same time and they went back into their staring contest again when they stopped. Kurt got lost in the honey color of Blaine's eyes and felt his heart beat picking up speed. Little did Kurt know that Blaine's heart had been racing since he saw Kurt walk through the door.

"I have a weird question," Kurt said after snapping out of their trance again. "Why did you have my phone on you?"

"We have a habit of running into each other at random times. I guess I was being hopeful."

There was another pause. Kurt crinkled his eyes. "Hopeful?" he asked.

"Wrong word choice?" Blaine blushed slightly and flicked his eyes away from Kurt's face. _Shit. Seriously? You couldn't think of ANY other sentence? Damn it, Blaine.. You're going to make him think you're a stalker or something._

"N-No. I'm thankful, in fact, because now I have my phone." Inwardly, Kurt was hyperventilating at Blaine's word choice. _He was hoping to see me? Hoping? What could that mean? Shit. Shit. Don't read into it. Friend. Friend. Blaine's a friend. Vin, boyfriend. Blaine, friend. Vin. Vin._ He was beginning to feel guilty that he had to remind himself of these facts regularly these days. "Hey, um. What time is it?"

Blaine looked at his wrist watch. "5:30."

"Are you hungry?" The words were out before he had a chance to process them. _I'm asking him out to dinner, aren't I?_ Kurt thought. _Yep. I pretty much just gave the precursor to asking him to dinner. What's wrong with me?_

"Yeah. I didn't eat much at lunch."

"Do you like Merlino's?"

"The Italian steakhouse?"

"Yeah."

"I've never been. It's a fancy resaurant. I don't get a chance to go to those too often."

"I, uh…" Kurt thought about his next words carefully. He probably shouldn't be asking Blaine out to dinner. He should be taking Vin out to a fancy restaurant like that. Not that Kurt was asking Blaine out on a date. It was just dinner to say thank you. At least, that's what he was telling himself. "I got a gift certificate to there for my graduation gift. Do you want to go with me?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. Or- well, if your not busy. I mean, it doesn't have to be tonight. It was just a thought. I wanted to thank you and I've never been there either-"

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're cute when you ramble?" Blaine was shocked at his own boldness to say something so flirtatious.

Kurt gawked at Blaine, trying to comprehend the fact that Blaine just said he was cute. He gulped. "It's a trait I picked up from my dad. He does it too."

"I'd love to have dinner, but I can't tonight. I have to work at Cabaret."

"Oh. Okay." Kurt tucked his lips inward and bit down.

"But some other time? I'd never say no to hanging out with you, if I didn't have to."

"Sure."

Blaine looked at his watch again. "I actually should be going. I have to go home and get ready and eat something before I leave."

"Yeah. I have to get back to the theater."

"I'm sure you're tired anyway. I'd probably bore you to death and you'd fall asleep in your soup."

Kurt smiled and batted his eyes. "Doubt it." He waited for Blaine to get his things together and they walked outside together, parting ways in different taxis.

By the time he finally got home, Kurt plugged in his phone and turned it on. He had a couple missed calls. One from Carol and one from Vin.

He ended up sending Rachel a text message first before answering either of the calls. "This is probably the dumbest idea ever," he said out loud to himself.

**K- Wanna go to Cabaret tonight?**

**R- Sure!**

**K- I'll meet you at your apartment in an hour?**

**R- I'll be ready.**

Kurt had a pot of coffee brewing while he showered. He rushed through everything. When he had a towel wrapped around his waist, he ran back to his room and picked out a simple outfit of blue jeans, a white Henley shirt, and a black vest. He poured himself a cup of coffee and downed it, practically burning his mouth and throat. He went back into the bathroom, and put moisturizer on his face before styling his hair. He drank one more cup of coffee, brushed his teeth, and laced his shoes. He was out the door in record time.

By New York taxi standards, who's drivers saw speed limit signs and took them merely as suggestions, Kurt got to Finn and Rachel's house in fifteen minutes. Rachel was ready to go, but she was just cleaning the remnants of her dinner with Finn up. She took one look at Kurt. "Have you eaten today?"

"Why?"

"You look thinner than normal."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"When it's caused by lack of nutrition, yes. Sit." Rachel made Kurt a plate of their leftovers and made Kurt eat.

He was grateful because he realized he had only eaten lunch today, but drank a lot of coffee. He sat and ate quickly and slowed himself down when he got the hiccups. Kurt made sure to drink two glasses of water to give himself some much needed hydration that he was sure he hadn't given himself that day. "Okay, done. Can we go?"

"What's the rush?"

Kurt shifted his eyes curiously. "No reason. It's almost eight. Doesn't it close at ten?"

"You sure this has nothing to do with Blaine?"

Kurt paused. "N-no. What makes you say that?"

"Because when you saw him and found out he worked here, you were just the tiniest bit preoccupied with the thought of him."

"I was not," Kurt protested.

"Okay. Well, whatever."

Kurt was surprised at how quickly Rachel leapt to the topic of Blaine. Was he _that_ preoccupied with him? He didn't think so. If he was being honest with himself, they'd only spoken less than ten times and hung out twice. However, he did spend the night at Blaine's house last night and did ask him to dinner only a few hours ago, but he wasn't going to admit either one. Blaine and him were friends. That's all. Friends. Sure… sometimes Blaine made Kurt's heart flutter, but that's because Blaine was both hot and adorable and said things to Kurt like how Kurt was cute and he was flattered. That's all it was… right?

When they got to Cabaret, Kurt could already hear music coming from the stage. He wondered if it would be weird if he made it known to Blaine that he was here and he wondered if Blaine would think is was weird that Kurt showed up. He started to regret wanting to go there. He let Rachel pick the table and it was near the same place where they sat the last time they were there. He could see Blaine from where he was sitting. Blaine's face a staring hard at the sheet music. Kurt could see that this was one of those times that Blaine lost himself in the song because he was putting everything he had into the keys he played on. It was kind of moving actually.

Then the song was over and Blaine put the sheet music back together and placed it on top of the piano for the singer to retrieve. Feeling that he had eyes on him, he lifted his gaze and immediately caught Kurt's blue hued orbs looking back at him as if Blaine had lazers for eyes. He squinted for a second to make sure he was seeing who he thought he saw. Then he smiled and waved before someone else handed him their sheet music. Kurt smiled and waved back.

An hour later and Rachel was handing Kurt her folder of sheet music and ordered him to pick one to sing. He really didn't want to because it had been so long since he really sang, but after a lot of prodding, Rachel convinced him. He ended up choosing one that he assumed she had picked out for Finn in case he ever wanted to sing something because it was more suited for Finn's voice than Rachel's. He slinked over to Blaine and handed him the sheet music.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Blaine asked with a smile.

"Rachel wanted to come." Kurt lied. "It isn't weird that I'm here is it?"

"No! I'd never say no to seeing you. I don't care where it is." Blaine immediately wished he hadn't tacked on that last part.

Kurt smiled and blinked slowly, his long lashed unveiling his shiny blue eyes. "Okay. I didn't want you to think I was stalking you, or something."

"You can't stalk someone who likes when you're around."

The announcer called Kurt's name and he went up to the stage, feeling butterflies in his stomach. He wasn't sure if they were from Blaine's last comment or stage fright.

He took a breath and Blaine began to play.

**It gets harder every day**

**But I can't seem to shake the pain**

**Trying to find the words to say "please stay."**

**It's written all over my face, I can't**

**Function the same when you're not there**

**Calling your name when no one's there**

**And I hope one day you'll see**

**Nobody has it easy**

**Still can't believe you found somebody new**

**But I wish you the best**

**I guess**

**Cause everybody knows but**

**Nobody really knows**

**How to make it work**

**Or how to ease the hurt**

**And we've heard it all before**

**That everybody knows**

**How to make it right**

**Wish we'd give it one more try**

**One more try**

**One more try**

**Cause everybody knows**

**But no body really knows**

**And we've heard it all before**

**That everybody knows**

**How to make it right**

**Wish we'd give it one more try**

**Cause everybody knows**

**But no nobody really knows.**

Kurt held the last note, raising his pitch and ending on a high note. He took a breath and there was applause. He acknowledged the crowd with a head nod and as he exited the stage he saw Blaine smiling and clapping, while wearing a surprised expression.

Blaine, who'd be listening to Kurt's voice more than his own playing, was stunned. Kurt's voice was beautiful, and stunning, and breathtaking. He began to wonder if there was anything that Kurt could do to make Blaine attempt at not crushing on him. Kurt was perfect to Blaine and now, especially now, captivated by Kurt's presence and voice, Blaine knew Kurt was perfect _for_ Blaine. It bothered him to think of Kurt as unattainable because Kurt was with another man and Blaine's only hope could only be that Vin treated Kurt the way he deserved and that he might make Kurt happy in a way that no one else could. He wished that for Kurt and as Kurt came back over to retrieved his sheet music, their eyes locked on one another. "You were sensational," he said.

Kurt smiled, unable to say anything in response, and took the papers. He let himself glance back at Blaine as he took his seat again and sighed, wishing he knew how to keep him out of his head.

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><p>PLEASE REVIEW!<p>

CHECK OUT MY TUMBLR PAGE TO SEE/HEAR THE SONG KURT SINGS AT CABARET

TUMBLR: Grace-Ryan


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Kurt's week passed quickly and he was beginning to drag his feet by the end of the week because any chance he had to catch up on sleep was spent either talking to Vin about making plans for their upcoming move in trial run and going to Cabaret. Kurt had gone to Cabaret every day this week. He didn't know what he was thinking. He refused to believe that he was going there every night until closing because Blaine was there and he just liked being where Blaine was. Instead, he almost convinced himself that he'd missed singing and really enjoyed watching everyone else perform. He also really liked talking to Santana again. He especially liked excusing himself from his table with Rachel and whomever else was there when Blaine flagged him down from across the room to let him know that he was going on a break. Kurt would always smile and join Blaine in the bar with a drink and chat with him and Santana.

By Friday, Kurt had completely set up the box office and Sterling had been sending him on errands mostly, but other times he had lent Kurt out to the set director and Kurt was put to work painting sets and assembling them. Today Kurt was checking all the lighting fixtures and changing the light bulbs. Before he had a chance to make it outside to check those bulbs, Sterling stopped him. Kurt didn't know what time it was. He assumed it was lunch time because Sterling only came to find him if it were lunch time or he had a last minute errand for him.

"Hey, Kid," he called up to Kurt on a ladder. Kurt looked down at him, with dark circles under his eyes. "What are you doin' here?"

Kurt shifted his eyes confusedly. "Was there something else I was supposed to be doing? I thought this was on the list of things you wanted me to do. All the errands were done by yesterday."

Sterling huffed and showed what Kurt thought was almost a smile. "No, Kid. You're doing the right thing. In fact, I wanted to thank you for your hard work this week. I know I made you do all the things I could have done myself, and you stayed extra hours and shit. You never complained once. You're a hard worker."

"Thanks." By now, Kurt knew not to respond with anything longer than that when he was being complimented.

"I know you're graduation is tomorrow."

"Yes, Sir."

Sterling reached into his back pocket and took out an envelope. "So, here… I appreciate how hard you've been workin' since I hired you and, well, everyone probably gave you useful shit for your graduation gift. This is just for fun."

Kurt climbed down from his ladder and stood in front of his boss. He took the envelope and he thought he'd faint once he saw what was inside. He took out three hard paper slips and read them carefully to make sure they were what he thought they were. The color drained from his face in excitement. They were three vouchers for two tickets each to Wicked, Book of Mormon, and Seminar. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Sterling… Thank you so much!"

"Eh, it was nothing. I'm buddies with the owners of those theaters and they owed me a favor."

"This is incredible. Thank you so much." Kurt was milliseconds away from swinging his arms around the portly body of Sterling, but he thought he would probably get fired for doing that because Sterling didn't look like a hugging type of man.

"Yeah, yeah. Now get outta here."

"Huh?"

"I said get outta here. Go home, Hummel. You look like you're dead on your feet. Go home, rest up, enjoy your graduation, and I'll see you on Monday." Sterling gave what Kurt thought might have been another smile, but if he was smiling, it looked like it hurt. He obviously wasn't a man who smiled often, or naturally. Without another word, Sterling walked away.

Kurt was stunned and shocked. He stood in place for a few more beats then realized he was being released from work early. He suddenly felt like he got a second wind and started running to the time clock. He passed Sterling on the way and yelled "thanks" in passing. He faintly heard the man chuckling in the distance.

Once he left the theater, he pulled out his phone and called Vin. Vin was on his lunch break. "Vin! You will not believe what just happened!" Kurt exclaimed, not giving Vin enough time to finish saying hello.

"What?" Vin asked.

"Guess. Wait! No. You'll never guess. Sterling, my boss, just gave me a graduation gift."

"Oh yeah?" Vin didn't seem to think this was an exciting thing, but he didn't understand yet.

Kurt picked up on this and started to explain, making sure to take proper breaths because he was still in shock. "Babe, he gave me two tickets to three different Broadway shows. That's six! Six free Broadway tickets!" He had slowed his speech down, making an attempt at enunciating the words for emphasis. "Three shows! Tickets to all of them!"

Vin laughed on the other end and Kurt could practically see the smile on Vin's face. "You are too cute. That's great, Kurt."

"Great? Vin, it's amazing and fantastic and-and OH MY GOD! Why aren't you as happy as I am? We get to have date night on Broadway when you get here."

"I am happy! Believe me, I'm ecstatic for you. I just didn't want to assume that I was going to benefit from your gift."

"Well, who else am I going to take?" Kurt was reminding himself not to start skipping from excitement.

"I don't know. Rachel? Blaine maybe? Aren't your parents coming up today?"

"I _would_ take Rachel, but why would I take her when I could take you?"

"Didn't you say Blaine was a composer? I'm sure he wouldn't say no to going with you." There was a certain tone in Vin's voice that made Kurt curiously confused.

"Are you trying to get out of going to a Broadway show? If you don't want to go with me, I can take someone else. Please say you want to go because if you don't, you're going to destroy about half of my excitement right now."

"No! I'm happy! I'm sorry, Sweetie. I'm just having a bad day. I'm very happy and I would love to go with you. I'm thankful and beside myself with joy that you want me to share in your gift."

"That's better." Kurt smiled. "Although, I'm sorry you're having a bad day. What's wrong?"

"I had to make phone calls to a couple parents to tell them that their child isn't going to pass my class and that's always tough."

"There's more. What's wrong, Babe?" Kurt was walking down the stairs of the subway.

Vin paused. Kurt could picture him pinching the bridge of his nose. He always did this when he was frustrated. "It's Lee. I couldn't follow him around today."

Kurt recalled the story Vin told him about a student that reminded him of Kurt. "Did something happen?" He knew the answer to that already.

"Yeah, Kurt. Something happened." He didn't need to explain or go into any detail. Kurt already knew. It was the miserable fate of a lot of gay teens in small towns. Lee had been beaten up by ignorant bullies who were afraid.

There was silence over the line for a few moments. They could hear each other breathing. "I'm sorry, Vin."

"Me too. I should have been there. It shouldn't have happened."

"It wasn't your fault."

"But if I'd been there, like I always am-"

"It wasn't your fault. _They_ did this, not you. It sucks, but Lee will get through this and end up better than those who tried to beat him down."

"How do you know?" Vin sniffled. "How do you know that next year, when I'm gone, it won't get worse and he'll let them defeat him?"

"You said he's like me, right?"

"Yeah. I notice that more so every day."

"Then he'll get through this with incredible wit and style. He won't let the bastards who did this know that they hurt him. When they realize that he's stronger than they'll ever be, they'll stop. It will take some time, but it will happen."

"How do you know?"

"Because I went through it and I know plenty of people who did the same. You just need to let Lee know that he's not alone and he's not weak. He's brave and better than any and every ignorant, idiot kid in that school. You know it and I know it. You just need to make sure that _he _knows it."

Vin took a breath. Kurt could hear the catch in the intake. "You're so good at this. I wish I had someone like you around when I was his age. How did you do it?"

"I was raised by my dad. My dad always said 'No one pushes the Hummels around.' I come from a long line of bad asses."

Vin laughed quietly. He couldn't picture Kurt as a stereotypical bad ass. "Bad asses with impeccable fashion, I bet."

"Well, not everyone can be perfect. I'm a pretty rare breed." Kurt was glad to be back to laughing. Vin's story about Lee really put a damper on his Broadway Ticket buzz. "Alright, I have to let you go because I'm about to get on the train and I'll probably lose service."

"Okay. Call me after your graduation tomorrow? I want to be able to say congratulations."

"I will."

"And Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"I really am happy for you." He paused. "And I'm really proud of you."

Kurt smiled and his face softened as if he was looking at Vin in person. It felt good to hear those things. "Thank you."

"Talk to you tomorrow."

"Talk to you tomorrow."

Kurt went home and immediately stripped his clothes off and crawled into bed. He was just about to fall asleep when his phone rang. There was a text message from Blaine.

**B- you said your boss was a guy named Sterling, right?**

**K- Yeah. Why?**

**B- The orchestra just got a tour of the theater we'll be in. It's run by a guy named Sterling.**

**K- Our coincidental crossing paths is beginning to get a little creepy. : P**

**B- I know. It's almost as creepy as me running into you EVERY night this week at Cabaret. : P**

**K- When do you start practicing at the theater?**

**B- Monday.**

**K- What a coincidence… I work that day : )**

**B- You busy Sunday? I'd like to cash in that rain check for dinner.**

**K- Dinner might be a possibility. My family flies in tonight, but they're leaving Sunday at ten-ish in the morning.**

**B- Perfect. I have band practice at two, but that'll be over at four. We can meet up somewhere at six?**

**K- Sounds great! I'll see you then. I'm going to take a nap now.**

**B- Enjoy your nap.**

**K- Enjoy your theater.**

Kurt woke up five hours later to his phone ringing. He groggily looked at the screen. "Dad," he said into the phone.

"We just checked into the hotel."

Kurt groaned and rolled over onto his back. "Okay."

"Get dressed and be down here in an hour. Bring Puck if he's available. We're going to take you out for dinner."

"Mm-kay."

"Were you sleeping?" Burt asked.

"Yeah. My boss let me out early and told me to enjoy my graduation. I'm just catching up on some sleep."

"Well get up. We haven't seen you in months."

"Yup. I'm up already." Kurt inhaled and eyed his ceiling.

"No you're not. You're lying in bed."

"Am not."

"Kurt, get up."

"I am up."

"Roll out of bed and get your butt in the shower."

"Ugh! Fine." Kurt heard Burt chuckle on the other end.

"You've been out of the house for seven years now and I still know you."

"Bye, Dad!"

"See you soon, Kurt."

Kurt dragged his feet, but he made it to the shower and got ready. Dinner was to die for. Burt and Carol tried to take Kurt, Puck, Finn, and Rachel to an upscale restaurant, but Kurt insisted and begged his father not to because he knew his father really had no idea what an upscale restaurant in New York City costs. Also, he was positive that the majority of the items on the menu would be in a different language that none of them spoke. Burt finally caved and let Kurt pick where he wanted to eat.

Kurt picked a quaint little French eatery that was tucked in a random part of the city. It really didn't look like it belonged there, but Kurt knew the food to be delicious and very reasonably priced. The only downside was that, to Kurt's amusment was that the menu was in French.

"You know, this was one of your arguments not to go to the other place," Burt pointed out.

"I said that it probably be in a language that **none** of us could read. Both Rachel and I can read **this** menu."

"Honey, I can help you," Carol comforted. "All that cooking with Kurt when we got married and I picked up a thing or two." She winked at Kurt.

"I just want a steak. What the hell is the French word for steak?"

"Biftek," Rachel quickly answered.

Kurt smiled into his menu and found the meal he wanted. It was a simple French dish that Kurt loved. The way this particular place made it, however, was more Americanized and had a home-cooked feeling to it. It always made Kurt feel warm and happy when he ate it. Not to mention it was easily the most delicious thing he ever ate.

After some more grumbling from Burt and Finn pretending he knew what he was doing just so he didn't seem stupid, everyone picked what they wanted. To everyone's surprise, Puck had no problem choosing what he wanted he didn't need any help with the translation at all. Later, he confessed that he just chose the same thing Kurt chose because he knew it would be good and really had no idea what anything said. "If Finn was smart, he would have done the same thing and not looked like an idiot," he snickered.

Everyone toasted to Kurt and his new achievement and every bit of food on the table was consumed. They all gave each other hugs and parting words and Puck left with Kurt to go back to their apartment.

"So, why isn't Vin here? I'd imagine you'd want your boyfriend to be with you for your big day," Puck asked on their way home.

"Because it's an important day and I want the people who mean the most to me to be there. I want to be able to look at the pictures later in life and be happy."

Puck squinted in confusion. "That doesn't make any sense. Vin is moving in, a pretty serious step in a relationship, and he's not important enough to be in a picture with your family?"

"No. That's not what I meant. Of course he is. It's just that he and I have only been together for a number of months and if he and I don't work out, I want to be able to look at the pictures and not feel awkward that there's a person in the photos that isn't important any more. It's like looking back at Prom photos. Take junior prom for example. Finn went with Quinn, Rachel went with Jesse, and you went with Lauren. None of you are will people that you were with back then. Finn and Quinn ended horribly and Rachel and Jesse ended horribly. I don't think they even have pictures of junior prom anymore. But they do have pictures of senior prom when they went together. I have pictures of both because I went with Mercedes and I love her. Senior year I went with Karofsky as friends and we had a blast. See the difference?"

"That sounds like you're anticipating your relationship with him to fail."

"I'm not though. I'm happy with him and he is important to me. I'm just trying to be objective about it. If we're still together when I get my doctorate, he'll be there, but, for now, I just wanted my family there."

"I'm not family."

"Puck, come on. Of course you are. We've known each other since preschool and we've been friends for a decade. You're like a brother to me."

"Really?" Puck looked both happy and surprised at the sentiment.

"Yes."

"Cool."

Kurt smiled and turned the radio one, blaring the music, hoping the talking was done for the night. His bed was calling him again and that was the only voice Kurt wanted to hear for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Short and sweet. : )<strong>_

_**Please review!**_

_**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Burt and Carol took everyone out again after Kurt's graduation ceremony. Kurt saw Blaine's roommate, David, there, getting his Master's degree as well and wondered if Blaine was there. He imagined him not to be because if he was, Blaine would have said something, but that didn't stop him from eyeing the crowd of people around David at any given time.

Kurt called Vin after the ceremony, on their way to the restaurant, and Vin congratulated him and promised a proper celebration for the two of them when he came the following weekend. This made Kurt happy because after his conversation with Puck about why Vin wasn't there, it had sort of made him feel guilty, but it was nice to hear Vin's voice and hear that Vin didn't sound upset that Kurt hadn't wanted him at the ceremony.

Saturday passed quickly and before Burt and Carol left on Sunday morning, Burt handed over a card from him and Carol and when Kurt opened it, he saw a check that was for far more than he expected or wanted. Before he had a chance to protest Burt jumped on him about just taking the money and not complaining about it because he could do worse than have a father that cares. That shut Kurt up before he even had a chance to talk. He settled for a simple, "Thank you." Kurt hugged them both and kissed Carol on the cheek, wishing them a safe trip home.

He went inside his apartment and once the door was shut, Kurt looked around his apartment and realized that this was the first time in a very long time that he had no clue what to do. He had no classes, no work, no appointments, and nothing to do until later in the afternoon when he was going to have dinner with Blaine.

The apartment was pretty clean, as it usually was because, oddly enough, Puck was pretty cleanly with his living space, as was Kurt, and the most that needed to be done at the moment was to dust and maybe wash the windows. Puck had washed the bathroom Saturday morning before taking a shower. Kurt really had to marvel at the man who, in high school, had no idea how to work a washing machine, but he did have to give the guy major props for his grooming habits. When he got home from work, the first thing Puck did was take a shower and deposit his clothes in a hamper. Puck never even left a wet towel on the floor. So, thanks to Puck, Kurt washed the windows and dusted what little needed dusting. There were a few items in the sink so he hand washed them, dried them, and put them away.

Now he was left with nothing to do. He looked over his bookshelf, but nothing kept his interest, as did none of his movies. He flicked through the channels on TV and everything seemed awful, so he turned it off. He thought about calling Blaine. Actually he almost did, but had to remind himself that Blaine was probably sleeping. Kurt yawned. "Sleep. That's not too bad an idea." Kurt put his ipod on his ihome and played music softly for back ground music. He was asleep within a half hour.

Kurt was startled awake by the sound of his phone ringing. He glanced at the clock and saw he'd been asleep for three hours. He answered the phone without looking at the screen and Blaine's perky voice seeped through the receiver. "Goodness, were you sleeping?" he asked.

"Uh… maybe? I had nothing to do, so I took a nap."

"Always a good choice."

"I didn't think you'd be awake yet."

"I'm usually not, but I woke up, fresh as a daisy."

"Do people still use that phrase?"

"I just did."

"Yeah, but other people. Do other people use it?"

"Hmm, you're grumpy when you get woken up. Should I call back?"

"N-no. I'm sorry. I was attempting at sarcastic humor, but apparently I can't pull it off with a groggy voice."

Blaine chuckled and that made Kurt feel better. He almost grinned because he imagined what Blaine looked like when he laughed. "So about tonight…"

"Yeah?" Kurt asked. He was hoping Blaine wasn't about to cancel.

"I was thinking. How about, instead of going out, we have dinner here and I can cook for us?"

"Um, yeah. Yes, that sounds great."

"Really? Good. I'm a good cook, I promise."

"Should I bring something?"

"Nope. I've got everything covered. Just bring yourself."

"Nothing? Nothing at all?"

"Nope. You're the only thing I can't pick up at a store, so you'd be the only missing ingredient."

Kurt covered his eyes with his free hand and grinned. _This guy is adorable._ "Okay. I'll be there at…?"

"Six," Blaine finished for Kurt. "Oh! I should probably ask if you're allergic to anything."

"Only bad cooking," Kurt joked.

"You must be waking up. You're getting a sense of humor."

Kurt could practically see the smile on Blaine's face. "Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm not allergic to anything. What are you cooking?"

"Can't tell you. It's a surprise."

"O-kay. I'm going to go take a very long bubble bath and I'll see you at six."

Blaine chuckled again. "See you at six."

They both ended the call and Kurt rolled himself out of bed with a smile on his face. Vin called him when he was half asleep in the bathtub he drew for himself.

"Hey sleepy head. Taking a nap?" Vin asked.

"Mm, no. I already did that. I'm just relaxing in a very aromatic bubble bath. I have no plans to get out anytime soon."

"Good for you, Babe. You deserve the relaxation. You've been working so hard." There was a pause and Kurt didn't answer. He was almost asleep. "Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you falling asleep?"

"Mmhmm."

"Well, don't. Not in the tub. I don't want to become a widower."

"We're not married."

"You know what I mean."

"I can't drown in this tub, if that's what you're worried about."

"That is what I'm worrying about. Please, Kurt? For me? If you're going to pass out, please do not do it in the bathtub."

Kurt wanted to groan, but knew that Vin was just trying to be caring. It wasn't a very good idea to take a nap in the bath anyway. "Okay, Vin."

Vin heard some form of movement. "What are you doing?"

"Getting out of the tub."

"I thought you didn't have plans to get out anytime soon."

"Yes, but I can't fall asleep in the bathtub, so I'm going to go to my room." Kurt uncorked the drain and wiped the soap suds from his skin. He draped the towel around his waist and went to him room. He quickly threw some product in his hair and moisturizer on his face and plopped down on the bed, completely naked. He listened to Vin talk about how he landed a temp job in Queens for the month that he'd be living with Kurt and how he hoped it wouldn't interfere too much with Kurt's schedule because he wanted to spend time with him too.

After a short while of Kurt not talking, "Kurt are you still there?"

"Yes," Kurt was barely audible.

"Am I keeping you awake?"

"More or less. Sorry, Vin. I really want to talk to you, but that bath really made me want to pass out."

"Okay, um, call me later?" Vin sounded a little saddened, but he felt that Kurt deserved the sleep after all the sleepless nights he had over the past years with college and graduate school. He had to remind himself that Kurt wasn't mad at him, he was just tired.

"I'll try. I don't think I can, but I'll try. I'm sorry. I must sound like a dick. I'm really sorry about that."

"You're fine, sweetheart. You have plans tonight?"

"Dinner at Blaine's."

"Oh?" Vin's voice went up at the end of the word like it was full of assumption. "A date?"

Kurt chuckled breathily and licked his lips. "If it were a date, you would be there and not him. I'm dating you, not Blaine."

"You're having dinner with him."

"He has roommates. Four of them to be exact. They'll probably all be there, if not most of them. No need to be jealous."

"I'm not- okay, I'm a little jealous."

Kurt chuckled again. "You don't have to be. Blaine's a friend. Just like Tyler and Spencer are to you." He rolled over onto his back and moved o the center of his bed.

"Tyler and Spencer are a married couple and non threatening to you. Blaine is single and hot."

"My my! I never knew you thought of Blaine that way. Maybe I'm the one that should be jealous." Kurt was giggling again and was happy that their conversation was on a lighter tone. Vin wasn't acting like the jealous boyfriend. This was merely a conversation. Kurt liked that.

"Oh yes, you've caught me. My diabolical plan to move in with you just to get closer to the bartender with the beautiful eyes has been foiled," Vin made himself sound like the damsel in distress.

"I knew it!" The two laughed some more. "Really though. He's just a friend."

"I know, Sweetheart, I know. I'm just so antsy that I'll be there in a week that it can't come fast enough."

"Antsy, huh?" Kurt grinned and let his hand roam south.

At six o'clock sharp, Kurt was ringing the doorbell at Blaine's house. After a nap, a bubble bath, and phone sex with his boyfriend, Kurt was feeling more relaxed than he had in a very long time. Blaine answered the door and Kurt greeted him with a smile. "Hey!" Blaine greeted happily. "Come on in."

Kurt toed off his shoes and instead of leading Kurt upstairs, Blaine was walking to the downstairs kitchen. He was able to smell that Blaine was cooking Italian food and he was also playing music from the living room. "Smells good," Kurt said. "We're eating down here?"

"Yeah. We have a dining room down here. I thought eating at a table would be better than eating on the floor in the music room."

"I don't mind eating on the floor in the music room. It has a bit of a 'starving artist' feel to it. I like it." Kurt smiled and reached to pull the top off the pot with the spaghetti sauce.

Blaine swatted Kurt's hand away and replaced the top himself. "No. You have to wait for the fantastic dinner to be revealed all at once."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I made the sauce and meatballs from scratch. Also, the garlic bread isn't the frozen kind. I just have to bake it. It'll take about fifteen minutes."

Kurt arched his eyebrows. "Wow." He smiled. "I'm impressed. I hope you didn't go through too much trouble on my account." Kurt was thoroughly awestruck by the perfection of Blaine's meal.

"Wine?"

"Sure!"

"Red or white?"

"Red please."

Blaine picked two wine goblets from the cabinet. "So polite," he mused and began to pour.

"I was taught manners, Mr. Anderson."

"Ugh, please. Mr. Anderson is my father. I am not my father." He handed Kurt a full glass.

Kurt took a sip. "Ah, you have one of _those_ fathers." He insinuated that Blaine had an unsupportive father that cared about Blaine's "lifestyle choice" to have sex with men, despite the fact that Blaine's homosexuality wasn't a choice.

Blaine took a sip from his own glass while nodding. "You got it." He put his glass down and hopped up onto the counter to sit on it. "So how about you? I know you're dad marches with you in pride parades. I've seen the pictures in the paper. I take it that those aren't just for show."

Kurt leaned against the fridge. "No, he does that because he wants to. It's sweet actually. I never asked him. Carol suggested it, she's my step-mom, but he jumped on the PFLAG train as soon as Carol said go."

"You're lucky."

Kurt took another sip. "I know. Dad's…" Kurt paused when he saw the look in Blaine's eyes. The mood had just changed. He sighed. "He's something else, that's for sure. I know I'm lucky. I got it a whole lot easier than most. My Dad made sure that I knew he loved, cared, respected, and supported everything about me."

"Must have been nice." Blaine had both hands on the counter and stared, enthralled at what Kurt was saying as if it were a fantasy to have a parent like that.

"It was nice. I'm sorry you didn't have that."

For a second, Blaine squinted. He'd never heard someone say something like that before. He didn't know anyone who would say that because he didn't know anyone who had what Kurt had, a completely supportive family. "It is what it is. I can't change anything, so why wish for it?"

Kurt gulped. "I've made the mood turn sour."

Blaine hopped off the counter and eyed Kurt with reverence. "No. You didn't. I brought the topic up and there's nothing wrong with you saying something good about your family. Besides, I like knowing more about you that I didn't already know." He took a deep breath and smiled. "See, somber moment passed. Mood is not ruined."

Kurt wanted to hug Blaine, but restrained himself and kept his distance because he didn't feel it was right. "So where are your room mates?"

"Wes is at rehearsal, Nick and Jeff are at work, and David is away with his family."

"Oh, I saw David at graduation."

"He said he saw you too." The two chatted in the living room for another hour before dinner was ready.

When dinner was finished cooking and ready to be served, Kurt was ushered into the dining room, where Blaine had left no rock unturned. The lighting was dim, candles were lit, a table cloth and centerpiece was placed, everything was perfect. Kurt inhaled deeply upon seeing everything.

Blaine eyed him carefully. "Is everything okay? He started to get nervous at his choice to try to make Kurt's celebratory dinner special. "It's not too romantic of a setting is it? I was going for Italian fine dining and I wanted to make your graduation dinner special. I know you have a boyfriend, and- maybe I went a little too overboard. I can change it."

"Blaine!" Kurt cut off Blaine's rapid talking and knew he was nervous. He always rambled when he was nervous. "You're rambling again." Kurt dared to reach out and touch Blaine shoulder. It was strong and broad, a detail Kurt hadn't missed upon touching it.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. This is," Kurt over looked the room again, smiling lightly, "wonderful. Thank you." He flashed Blaine a soft expression to show his thanks and looked back to the room. It was perfect. Kurt felt warm and special.

They ate their meal, which was delicious, Kurt really was impressed. They laughed and talked between bites. Between the two of them, the finished off two bottles of wine before they even noticed. By the time the plates were empty and there was no more room in their bellies for another ounce of anything, both sat back in their chairs, staring at each other and smiling.

"I have to use the bathroom," Kurt announced. He stood up and immediately sat back down. He got dizzy and hadn't noticed that he was more than a little drunk. Kurt looked over and Blaine and giggled. "I think I shouldn't make a habit of being drunk around you."

Blaine laughed. "Don't worry, you're not alone on the drunk front."

Kurt got up again and made his way to the bathroom. Once he was finished and washing his hands, he closed his eyes and sighed deeply. Red wine had always made him sleepy. He heard people coming in the front door and he left the bathroom.

Nick, Jeff, and Wes had entered the house in a clatter and laughing. Blaine met them in the hallway and Kurt greeted them when he saw them. Blaine introduced Wes and told his roommates that he cooked dinner and they could have whatever was left. The guys immediately rushed to the kitchen and Blaine looked over to Kurt with glazed over eyes and a smile. They were in their staring contest again. Blaine finally blinked and reached for Kurt's hand. "Come on," he said and towed Kurt upstairs to the music room.

Kurt slumped himself down on the futon and Blaine picked up his guitar. "Can I play you something? I've been working on it, but I wanted your opinion."

"Sure!" Kurt exclaimed sweetly. He was in a daze and could probably fall asleep any minute.

Blaine sat down on his piano bench, which was on the other side of the room, and started to strum his guitar. His eyes matched Kurt's warmth and his face wore a serene expression.

**I've been watching you from afar**

**And the way you make your way around the bar**

**You laugh like your really entertained**

**And you smile like it's your favorite game**

Kurt smiled back at Blaine. He liked the way the song started. It had a sweet tone and a bit of a picked up beat to it.

**Now you're moving closer to me**

**And our eyes have connected emotionally**

**Not looking for a one night stand**

**Or a place for a broken heart to mend**

**I know everybody here wants to hold you**

**I know what it's like cause I feel the same**

**When you look in my eyes there's a part of me that's still afraid.**

Blaine's foot tapped along to his beat and his heart raced at the thought that he was singing _this_ song to Kurt. He recently wrote it with Kurt in mind. It wasn't completely about him, but it was loosely based.

**And when you say you love me, do you mean it?**

**Baby when you hold me, can you feel it**

**Should I believe the magic in your eyes?**

**I've waiting 'til the end of time**

**To hear you say you love me, like you mean it?**

**Baby, when you hold me, make me feel it**

**All I wanna do is make you mine.**

**I've been hurt way too many times.**

Kurt began to think he was in trouble. There was something about Blaine singing that made Kurt turn into putty. There was also something about Blaine's eyes, and his smile, and his gentle expression that made Kurt's chest swell with adoration and admiration.

**They say if you wanna make God laugh**

**All you have to do is tell him your plans**

**And I know that the timing's not right**

**Didn't know I would meet you tonight.**

**It's not like I don't really like the attention**

**I feel like the only man in the room**

**Are you really sincere?**

**Is this just something that you do?**

**And when you say you love me, do you mean it?**

**Baby when you hold me, can you feel it?**

**Should I believe the magic in your eyes?**

**I've waiting 'til the end of time**

**To hear you say you love me like you mean it**

**Baby, when you hold me, make me feel it.**

**All I wanna do is make you mine.**

**I've been hurt way too many times.**

**Again and again and again I've been hurt, my friend 'til the end**

**You know I've been high I've been low**

**I've got no place left to go**

**Again and again and again I want this searching to end**

**And when you say you love me, do you mean it?**

**Baby when you hold me, do you feel it?**

**Should I believe the magic in your eyes?**

**I've been waiting 'til the end of time**

**To hear you say you love me**

**And you'd mean it.**

**Baby when you hold me, make me feel it**

**Should I believe the magic in your eyes?**

**I've been waiting 'til the end of time**

**To hear you say you love me**

**Come on baby say you love me.**

Kurt clapped. "That was beautiful. I like it. How long have you been working on that?"

"Not long. Sometimes I just hear it and the song comes easily."

"It's really really good."

Blaine smiled, feeling proud and happy that Kurt approved. They chatted some more about music, composing, and performing for a long while.

Kurt yawned and his eyes fluttered shut for a few seconds before he opened them again.

"You look tired," Blaine said.

"Mm, I am. Red wine and a full stomach always makes me tired."

"And you certainly had enough of both."

"Mmhmm." Kurt's eyes fluttered closed again.

Blaine had seen Kurt drunk before, but this was a different kind of drunk. It was more of a mellow, relaxed, content with his surroundings drunk. He couldn't help, but notice the way the edges of Kurt's lips would turn up slightly when he closed his eyes and inhaled. Eyes open or closed, Kurt would always be beautiful. Blaine was sure of this. He was also sure that if not for the buzz he had going on in his brain from the wine, he wouldn't have given himself permission to look at Kurt this way when he was right in front of him. He also probably would never have sung him this particular song. But especially in the less inhibited drunken state he was in, he allowed himself the indulgences.

"Why don't you stay here tonight?" Blaine asked. "You're already falling asleep. I'd hate for you to pass out on the train."

Kurt closed his eyes again and leaned down onto the futon mattress. "Mm-kay." That was an easy decision. In truth, Kurt really was about to pass out. He was thankful for Blaine offer.

Blaine got up, put his guitar away, and went into his bedroom. He got out an extra couple blankets and a pillow. He brought them into the music room. Kurt was lying on his side, but his eyes kept opening and closing like he was fighting off sleep. "Here," Blaine said. With Kurt still on the futon, Blaine pulled the bottom of the frame towards himself and the futon became a bed. The action immediately made Kurt roll over onto his back. Blaine smiled and handed Kurt the pillow.

Kurt inhaled deeply, smiling, and said "It smells like you."

Blaine smirked. "It should. I took it off my bed."

"You smell good. I like the way you smell."

Blaine blushed and spread out the first blanket on top of Kurt. "Thank you." He spread out the second blanket. "You smell nice too."

"Thank you for letting me stay again."

Blaine sat down cross legged on the floor and looked at Kurt. "You can stay here anytime."

"Thank you." Kurt rubbed his eyes.

"You're sort of beautiful, you know?"

Kurt's eyes opened again and locked onto Blaine's. Blaine couldn't believe he just let that slip out of his mouth. It was something he was just thinking and it popped out. "I-I'm sorry. That was too forward." Blaine looked down, breaking their stare.

"Thank you."

Blaine looked back up upon hearing Kurt's tone. He wasn't mad or lost. Kurt merely looked like he couldn't believe that someone would say that to him. Almost like the compliment was the farthest thing from anything he'd heard. "I didn't-"

"It's okay. You know, Vin says that to me, that I'm beautiful. But I was sort of an ugly duckling in Lima. I'm not used to compliments like that. It's nice. Thank you."

"Your welcome."

"For the record, your eyes are gorgeous."

Blaine smiled again. "Should I set an alarm for you?"

"I have to be up at six."

"Okay."

Kurt shut his eyes again. His face returning to its drowsy state. Blaine got up and stumbled a little. "I'll let you sleep."

"Wait." Blaine felt Kurt's soft hand touch his own. "Stay with me? Until I fall asleep?"

There was a pause and Blaine finally answered. "Sure. Just let me go get a pillow and blanket." Blaine left and fetched his comforter and extra pillow. He returned and laid down on the floor next to the futon and covered himself up. He took Kurt's phone and set his alarm for six o'clock in the morning. Blaine thought Kurt was already asleep, but then his soft voice came out again.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything."

"I didn't do much."

Kurt slipped his hand off the futon mattress and put it on Blaine's chest. Blaine's hand instinctually covered it with his own. "I'm really glad we met."

Blaine took a deep breath, now feeling tired and content the way Kurt was. It was nice to hear Kurt's voice say something like that. His voice made it sound that much sweeter to Blaine. "I'm really glad we met too."

"Goodnight, Blaine."

"Good night, Kurt."

When morning came, Kurt and Blaine woke up to Kurt's alarm going off. Kurt was amazed that Blaine stayed on the floor all night, then he noticed how he, himself, had spent the whole night, on the edge of the futon mattress, with his hand still on Blaine's chest. He took it back, hoping Blaine didn't notice, or if he did, perhaps he wouldn't mention it. Kurt didn't know what he was thinking last night in his sleepy drunken state. Complimenting Blaine the way he had and wanting Blaine to stay with him until he fell asleep? _I'm in trouble,_ Kurt thought. He knew he hadn't done anything wrong, per say, but this was something he would not have done in front of Vin because it would have hurt his feelings. Kurt wasn't sure what was happening between Blaine and himself. He only knew that if he didn't tread carefully, he could lose both Vin and Blaine in one move

* * *

><p>The song is "When You Say You Love Me" by Darren Hayes. I know I said that Blaine was working on it, like he wrote it, but I said in an earlier chapter that I'd be doing that.<p>

PLEASE REVIEW!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

In exchange for Kurt getting the weekend off, he worked long hours for Sterling as promised. The orchestra and cast were beginning to rehearse in the theater and Blaine was able to have lunch with Kurt every day. Blaine liked that.

Kurt, who used to take his lunch break with the rest of his normal crew was now doing more administrative work for Sterling and was eating his lunch in the box office while Blaine joined him. Blaine was nice company, but Kurt already knew that. For one hour every day, they would chat and eat their lunch and laugh. To Kurt's happiness, Blaine never brought up the happenings of Sunday night. By Friday, Blaine and Kurt had a form of normalcy. Every afternoon Blaine would knock on the door frame of the box office and appear in the doorway with a smile and his lunch. Kurt had to remind himself not to smile too big. The last thing he needed was for Blaine to think that things between him and Kurt were weird.

"Are you working late tonight?" Blaine asked on Friday. He took a bite of his sandwich.

"No. I get to get out at five." Kurt wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"Good. You've worked late every night this week. Last week I got used to seeing you at Cabaret every night. You didn't get to go once this week."

Kurt yawned. "Yeah. I know. I really like going there. It sucks that I didn't get any free time this week, but it was worth it to have last weekend off."

"Anything fun planned for tonight? Jericho is having Suds Night. I always feel bad for the people who have to clean up the soap and bubbles afterward."

"Nah, I can't go out tonight. I have to arrange some space in my room and get some stuff done around the apartment. I didn't get much of a chance to do anything this week to make room for Vin."

"Make room?" Blaine asked.

Kurt scratched his forehead. "Yeah. Vin's moving in tomorrow."

Blaine's eyebrows lifted. "Oh?"

"Well, it's only for a month… sort of… maybe."

"What do you mean?"

"We're doing a live in trail run." Kurt took a sip of his diet coke. He spouted the information off like it was no big deal. "He'll move in for a month and if it works out then he'll move in permanently by the end of the summer."

"Wow." Blaine had a look on his face that was deep in thought.

"What?" Kurt asked, concerned about Blaine's opinion.

"Well-" he paused. "It's none of my business, so never mind."

"No. I want to know. What is it?"

Blaine put his sandwich down and placed his hands in his lap, settling himself into a supportive posture. "It just seems strange to hear that he's moving in because you barely talk about him."

Kurt shrugged. "There's nothing really to tell." He took a bigger sip of his diet coke.

"Do you love him?"

The question shocked Kurt and he quickly took the can away from his lips. "Huh?"

"Do you love him?" It was a bold question for Blaine to ask, even he had to admit it to himself.

Kurt really took Blaine's question to heart. He didn't know where Blaine's line of questioning came from, but his opinion mattered to Kurt, so he played along. He thought about how best to answer Blaine's question. He didn't really know how. Did he even have an answer? "I…"

"Kurt?"

"Sometimes I think I might."

Blaine repeated Kurt's statement back to him. "That doesn't sound like someone who's ready to move in with their significant other."

"It's complicated."

"And how complicated would it be if the month goes well, then he moved in permanently, and you find that you may not love him? He would have moved here for what?"

Kurt's face fell. "That isn't a very nice thing to say."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to sound the way it did. I'm just playing devil's advocate. I don't want you to get hurt is all."

"Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure. I'm sorry if I overstepped my boundaries."

"You didn't. You only said something I didn't want to hear. That's not to say that it shouldn't have been said."

"Are you nervous for him to move in?"

"Yes and no. Vin and I work well together."

"That's a strange thing to say about a romantic relationship."

"It's not though. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?"

"No."

"Well, it's work. It's trust and communication. I trust him completely. There are no lies between us."

"That's not entirely true."

"What do you mean?" Kurt crinkled his eyebrows.

"Did you tell him you spent the night at my house on Sunday?"

"Yes."

"Did you tell him I slept on the floor next to you?"

"No."

"Would it have bothered him if you did?"

Kurt turned his eyes down. His guilt caught up with him. "Yes."

"It's not technically a lie, but it's hiding the entire truth."

Kurt pushed his food away. He suddenly lost his appetite. "Why are you doing this? You're playing devil's advocate, but really you're just making me feel more guilty than I already am."

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to."

"But you are. You're intentions don't change what you're doing."

"I'm just trying to…"

"To what?"

"I think you're making a mistake. If you aren't sure if you love him, you shouldn't lead him on to think that your relationship with him is more than what it is."

"Speaking from experience?" Kurt shot at Blaine.

"No. I'm-" Blaine gulped. How had he gotten himself into this mess? He didn't want to be arguing with Kurt and he didn't want to be making Kurt feel the way he was. Blaine had to admit to himself that he was jealous. He hadn't brought up what happened Sunday night and Monday morning because he didn't want to make things awkward. In truth, it was so simple, Kurt's hand on his chest, but it meant so much to him. Maybe too much, too much for someone who was already attached to someone else. He hadn't slept well and every time he woke up, Kurt's hand stayed there. It didn't move once all night. It was an experience Blaine never had before. He used to give his body to anyone he wanted, but suddenly, Kurt comes into his life and a simple hand gesture means the world to him. It changed him.

Blaine had resolved a while ago that as long as Vin treated Kurt well and made Kurt happy, then Blaine could be happy for Kurt and settle for just being friends, but now… the more time he spent with Kurt, the more he could see himself with him. He knew that pointing out the negative aspects of Kurt and Vin's relationship to Kurt was making Kurt upset, but he couldn't stop himself. He wanted to stop because it wasn't his place to do so, but everything was just coming out too fast. What was it about Kurt that made Blaine ramble and talk before thinking? "I'm really sorry."

Kurt stared ahead at Blaine, he wanted to be mad at him. He should be mad at Blaine, but he couldn't. He wasn't. He was just guilty. What was he doing? Spending so much time with Blaine and putting so much into his friendship with him? He was only setting himself up for trouble. He was with Vin. Vin, who cared about Kurt and supported him and was the most patient person. Vin, who was willing to leave everything behind in Vermont to be with him in New York. Vin, who was honest and, at the moment, he was someone who Kurt felt he didn't deserve.

Kurt saw in Blaine's face how regretful he felt for saying the things he did. There was no reason to be mad at him because everything he said was true. "You're right."

"I wish I wasn't."

"Me too. But," he paused and sighed. "That doesn't change that he's still moving in tomorrow, he's still staying for a month, and when that month is up, we're still going to make a decision if he's going to move in permanently or not. I care about him and maybe we're rushing things, but this is what we want. We want to be together."

And that was the defining moment for Blaine. Kurt told him what he wanted. Kurt wanted Vin. Blaine had to be okay with that. He had to be the friend. He couldn't sleep in the same room with him or cook him special dinners. He couldn't look for Kurt wherever he went and he couldn't fantasize about a future with Kurt, when Kurt wanted someone else. "I had no right to judge your relationship."

"No. You didn't, but I'm not mad at you."

"You should be. I would've been. I had no right to say those things because it was none of my business."

"Look, maybe… I don't know."

"What is it?" Blaine asked. He saw how Kurt looked troubled.

"I don't know. Never mind. Forget I started to say anything." In truth, Kurt was thinking the same thing Blaine was, but couldn't bring himself to say it out loud. What he was going to say was that maybe there was something between them that they needed to address. Maybe there were feelings or attachments being developed between them and they needed to figure them out.

Kurt was afraid to say those things out loud because he was afraid of the consequences of admitting that he might have feelings for someone other than Vin. He didn't want to admit that to himself, never mind to Blaine, who may not have feelings for him back. _And what would be the good of telling him anyway? Even if he did feel the same way, what do I do? Choose between Vin and Blaine? Break up with Vin? Stay away from Blaine?_ Kurt didn't want to do any of those options. So, he stayed quiet and Blaine let it go like Kurt asked.

They changed the subject and continued on in short conversation after short conversation to pass the time, in hopes that the mood would change or that, maybe, they could retrieve some semblance of previous comfortability.

"So, what are you going to do about your jobs when the show goes up?" Kurt asked.

"Well, I'll be quitting Cabaret when we get closer to opening night, which I'm okay with because there's only so many times you can hear people sing Desperado, Hello Dolly, Piano Man, and Cabaret before you want to start shouting for new material."

"Do people really sing those that often?"

"Every night I play all of those. Sometimes I play some twice or three times. I used to love Cabaret because I used to want to play the emcee one day, but now I cringe whenever I hear someone's fake German accent butchering the song."

"That bad?"

"You have no idea."

"And what about Jericho?"

"Jericho I will stay at. I make too much money there to quit. Working there two days a week pays for everything and then some. Our show would get out at nine and I could be there by nine thirty-ish. The bar doesn't really get a whole lot of people until after ten anyway. I've talked to my boss about it already and he's cool with it."

"Nice boss."

"I mean, he doesn't buy me lunch every day, but he does continuously stroke my ego on how attractive I am."

Kurt smirked. "Is that all he strokes?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. "You'd be surprised what goes on in that club, but I will admit to never hooking up with my boss or anyone else that works there, though I've had my offers."

"I'm sure you have."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you're an attractive guy."

"I sound like a ego boosted, slut don't I?"

Kurt snickered. "No. Not at all."

"I don't actually think I'm hot or anything."

"I call shenanigans on you! There is no way you can look at yourself in the mirror every day and not know what you look like."

"I do know what I look like and I don't think I'm hot."

"You're too critical."

"You're too nice." Blaine was thankful that their tone and conversation moved away from tense and back to their normal everyday chatter.

Rachel went over to Kurt and Puck's later that night to help Kurt out with moving things around in his room.

"You're quiet," Rachel stated.

Kurt sighed. "I'm focused. I need to figure out how to give Vin some closet space. I'm not sure what to do with my clothes to make room for him."

"You could always go through and take out the items that are out of style."

"Nothing really goes out of style, Rachel. Pair something with the right item and you've got the next big thing. I guess I could Space Bag the out of season items."

"Are you sure that's all that's bothering you? Usually you talk to yourself when you're trying to work through a problem like clothes."

Kurt sighed again. "I think I have a problem. I'm not sure I want to talk about it though. Not until I'm sure."

"Sure about what?"

"I can't say."

"Why?"

"If I say it out loud, I'm afraid it might be true."

"If it's true, there's no volume that would make it any less true. What is it? Maybe I can help."

Kurt reached out and lightly touched the cuff of one of his shirts and rubbed it between his thumb and index finger haphazardly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Do you think that Vin and I are rushing the move in process?"

"I don't know. It's your relationship. I think it's obvious how he feels about you. Do you think you're rushing it?"

"I don't know. I didn't before."

"And now?"

"Now all I can think about… I haven't been… I think I might-"

"Kurt what is it?"

"God…" Kurt rolled his eyes and sat down on his bed. Rachel sat next to him. "Blaine-"

"Blaine? Ah, now I get it."

"Get what?"

"You have a crush on him, don't you?"

"No! Yes- I'm not sure."

"Well, which one is it?"

"I'm not sure. I mean, I don't know if I have feelings for him. I think I do. That's the problem."

"Wow. How did this happen?"

"I don't know! We've been spending so much time together and there's just something about him that was significant since the day I met him. Then we got into a small fight today about Vin moving in and he asked me if I was in love with Vin and I don't know if I am."

"How do you not know?" Rachel asked as if it were simple to know your feelings for someone. In her mind things were so black and white. They either were or the weren't. You either loved someone or you didn't.

"I care about him and I'd be jealous if some other guy were to hit on him, but when he's gone, I don't feel that aching to be near him. I don't miss him when he leaves the room. Isn't that what love is supposed to be? I'm sure it's a lyric in some song, or whatever."

"How do you feel when he's around though?"

"Happy. He's so wonderful. He's so grounded and put together. Vin knows exactly what he wants and there's no confusion. He gives me this endless amount of support and understanding."

"So what's the problem?"

"God, Rachel, I don't know. Shouldn't I know? It should be so easy to fall in love with someone like Vin, but instead I find myself smiling like an idiot and feeling like a teenager whenever I see Blaine."

"Do you think maybe you just like Blaine's attention because he's here and Vin isn't?"

"I don't know. It could be. Do you know what he did last Sunday? He made me this incredible dinner to celebrate my graduation. Then he played me a song on the guitar and we talked endlessly before I passed out on his futon."

"You slept over?"

"Yeah, I was too drunk and he tucked me in."

What?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds."

"Well, it doesn't matter how bad it is; what matters is how bad it sounds because that's what's going to stick in Vin's head when you tell him."

"I have to tell him? He knows I spent the night."

"You're screwing this up with him. Vin is sensational and he's the best thing that walked into your life. I've never seen someone look at you the way he does."

Kurt gulped. "I know. He's practically perfect."

"I just feel different when it comes to Blaine. Everything is both exciting and comfortably calm at the same time."

"Is it exciting because it's new?"

Kurt palmed his face. "What the hell am I doing?"

"How does Blaine feel about you?"

"I don't know. He compliments me all the time and sometimes I think he's flirting with me. He's never overstepped though, so either he's hiding feelings for me very well, or he only thinks of me as a friend."

"Do you want to be with Blaine?"

The question came like a frying pan to the head. This was something he never thought of before. Did he? Was there ever a moment where he saw himself with Blaine? He did. A long time ago before he met Vin. Then he chose Vin and now he was with Vin and about to take a big step in their relationship. What was it that he wanted? He swallowed hard and thought. He was with Vin for a reason. Kurt chose to stop looking for Blaine everywhere and to be with Vin. Vin was already his. He didn't have to fight for anything. Vin ached for Kurt. Isn't that the kind of person one should want? "I want Vin. We want to be together."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I'm afraid of what feelings for Blaine might lead to. Vin doesn't deserve my indecisions and he doesn't deserve someone who doesn't know how they feel about him."

"But he does deserve you. You're once in a lifetime, Kurt. Special. Vin sees that. Why don't you let him make the decision of what he deserves and wants?"

Kurt sighed. "You're right. I should just see how things go with the trial run move and go from there."

"And in the mean time, maybe not spend so much time with Blaine. If you're really giving this a shot with Vin, you don't need the distraction or temptation."

Kurt nodded his head, but his heart sunk at the thought of not allowing himself to spend time with Blaine. He knew he had to figure this out soon before things got worse nad he lost them both.

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><p>PLEASE REVIEW!<p>

TUMBLR: Grace-Ryan


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Kurt: Saturday**

Kurt had stayed up far too late to remember to set his alarm clock the night before Vin arrived and had simply passed out, fully dressed, on top of his bed. It was a struggle, but he finally was able to give, what Kurt deemed appropriate, space in his closet for Vin to put his things. He also cleared out two drawers in his dresser and set space on top of it for him too. It was strange. Less than a year ago, Kurt's last boyfriend lived in this very room with him and it took no time for Kurt to fill in the space that his ex had once used. Now he had no idea how he made do with so little.

Around eight thirty in the morning, Kurt began to stir, not feeling even close to well rested, and groggily fluttered his eyes open when he felt hands on his body, undressing him. When his foggy brain put the pieces together of what was happening, he sat up like a gun shot went off and jerked his foot away from the person touching it, nearly kicking the person in the face.

The person jumped back, startled by Kurt's sudden movements. Kurt rubbed his eyes quickly and when the blur of the morning went away he saw it was Vin. He waited for his heart to slow down. Vin smiled and without saying a word, he went back to taking Kurt's socks off. Then he crawled onto the bed and unbuttoned Kurt's jeans. He peeled them off, with the help of Kurt lifting his hips for him. Vin took his own socks and pants off, as well as his shirt, and pulled the covers down from the bed. Kurt had to move a little for him to do this, but he silently complied.

Vin pulled the covers up over, what he knew to be, a still sleepy Kurt, and crawled in next to him, laying on his side so he faced Kurt. "You're early," Kurt finally said, breaking the silence. "Really early."

"I couldn't sleep."

"So you drove here in the middle of the night?"

"Yes." Vin smiled. "Why waste the day sleeping in Vermont, when I could be wasting the day, here, in bed with you?"

Kurt leaned in and kissed Vin tenderly. "Welcome home," he said.

The simple gesture of calling Kurt's space "home" was enough to make Vin smile happily and his entire body relaxed as Kurt snuggled closer and they fell asleep.

**Monday**

Kurt had both Monday and Tuesday off because the show would be opening on Friday and he had to work the entire weekend. On Monday, Kurt went on two interviews in the morning and went grocery shopping. He went to the Laundromat and mailed a check for the rent to his landlord. He counted it as a productive day. However, he was surprised that he hadn't heard from Blaine, especially on his lunch break. He actually hadn't heard from him since Friday at work. They usually texted each other daily or saw each other. It struck Kurt as odd, but figured Blaine was just busy.

Vin on the other hand, was at work all day. He got a temp job in a medical lab for the month. On Sunday, Kurt had insisted that Vin didn't have to work or contribute much of anything for the month that he would be there, but Vin argued that if this was a trial run, then they should act as if Vin had been actually moving in. He also reminded Kurt that while moving to NY was a dream come true, it wasn't a vacation. It was a lifestyle change and he had to acclimate himself to New York living.

Kurt saw the reasoning in Vin's argument, but told him that he already spoke to Puck and Vin would absolutely not be paying rent for this month. If they decided that moving in was a good idea at the end of their month long trial run, then they could crunch numbers on how much living with them would cost.

Vin complied and they made the agreement that Vin, since he insisted on paying his own way, could foot the bill for groceries while he was there. Vin wanted to contribute more since he'd be causing them to spend more in water and electricity for the month, but Kurt said that paying for the groceries for a month would make up for the cost.

Kurt and Vin smiled at the end of their argument and decided that even though they started bickering already on Vin's second day there, they survived their first ever fight. They celebrated by getting naked and taking a shower together.

**Blaine: Monday**

Blaine, like Kurt, did think about texting him. All weekend he thought about it, but remembered that Vin was probably there and he didn't want to bother them. On his lunch break on Monday, he went to lunch with some other people from the orchestra and kept glancing at his phone, wondering if Kurt was going to call him instead. After their argument on Friday, he didn't know what to say to him. Things were going to change between them and Blaine didn't know how to stop it or change it back. Whenever he would want to hang out with Kurt, Vin would be right there; and whenever he called Kurt, Vin would be there too. It's not like he didn't like Vin because that wasn't the case. He didn't really know Vin at all. What little contact he had with him, Blaine thought Vin was charming and sweet.

His uneasiness about being around Vin was that Blaine felt he couldn't be himself around Vin with Kurt. Blaine was a naturally flirtatious person and he couldn't make any promises that he wouldn't accidentally slip out something that Vin would feel threatened by.

Kurt wanted Vin; that he made clear. Blaine went back and forth in his mind about if Kurt knew that Blaine was an option for him. Blaine had been flirtatious and sweet, hadn't he? But, on the other hand, he also had mentally resigned to just being there as a friend for Kurt. Maybe Kurt picked up on the friend vibe instead? Then Blaine sighed and relaxed when the thought hit him that perhaps, just maybe, Kurt wasn't even interested. It would be arrogant, Blaine thought, to just assume that Kurt had feelings for him just because Blaine had feelings for Kurt.

He put his fingers onto his piano keys and started tooling around with a tune he had in his head all day.

"That sounds good," Nick said when he came in the music room.

"Thanks. I don't know what it is yet. It's just something I had in my head."

"Want me to get on the drums and help you with a beat?"

"Sure." Blaine played the tune again for Nick to hear and get inspired. It took seconds for Nick to come up with something, but changed it on the second time around because he said the first one seemed to change the feeling of the song.

"What is the feeling of the song?" Blaine asked.

"You tell me."

"I don't know. I hadn't come up with a concept yet."

"I very much doubt that. You're sitting there with a sour puss face and not at all into what your doing. What's going on?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired."

"I don't doubt that, but I don't believe for one second that something isn't bothering you. Come on. Out with it."

Blaine sighed, puffing out his cheeks as he looked down into his lap. He thought about where to start. "Okay," he began looking up and turning his body towards Nick. "What do you think of Kurt?"

"The one you've been bringing over lately and sleeping with?" Nick asked with a smirk.

"I haven't been sleeping with him. He was just sleeping over because he was too drunk to make it home."

"You know, taxis are a wonderful invention. You call for them or wave your hand and they show up and drive you anywhere you want. Even in a drunken stupor you can make your way home safely." Nick's sarcastic humor wasn't funny to Blaine at the moment. "Man, I get it. You could have stuffed him into a taxi and let him go with God, but you didn't. You care about him and have feelings for him, so you tucked him in, and made him feel safe and warm in the comfort of your control." Blaine didn't answer. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Blaine scrunched up his face. "Yeah." He was reminded of both times he tucked Kurt in. The first time, Kurt was barely awake by the time he got him upstairs and was asleep by the time he pulled the covers up over his shoulders. He looked so peaceful and angelic when he slept. "The thing is that I have feelings for him, but he has a boyfriend."

"You mentioned that before. It must not mean much to you if you keep doing things for him like that dinner last weekend or letting him sleep in YOUR bed instead of the futon."

"No. It does mean something to me, that's why I'm bothered right now. I knew all along that he had a boyfriend and I thought I could just be his friend, but I can't. I can't stop myself from staring or doing something I think is nice, but it turns out to be way more than what a friend would do. I can't stop myself from feeling more for him every time I see him."

"Does he know that?"

"No."

"Is his boyfriend a good guy?"

"Yes. A really good guy. He's actually good for Kurt, I think."

Nick pounded his drumsticks on the snare drum and made the sound of a rim shot. He laughed at his own joke.

"Not funny," Blaine retorted.

Nick put his sticks down and lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay. So this guy is good for Kurt. But, tell me something; would you be better?"

"It doesn't matter. Kurt wants him, he's made that clear. It doesn't matter what's good, better, or best because it all boils down to what Kurt wants."

"You don't seem like the type to try to steal Kurt away."

Blaine nodded his head in agreeance. "You're right. I'm not. I don't even want to try because I know that won't end well. It would only hurt Kurt and not show me in a good light. If something were to happen between us, it would have to be natural and uncalculated."

"But, thinking that now, wouldn't any attempt at hanging out with him be a calculated move towards getting closer to him?"

Blaine scratched the back of his neck and scrunched his face again. "I don't know. I guess the intention would mean all the difference."

"Do you have the intention of getting closer to him?"

"I don't know. I have the want to be, but I don't want to get between him and his boyfriend."

Nick looked like he was thinking. Like he was actually giving serious thought into help Blaine through his problem. "Tell me this, does Kurt flirt back to you?"

"I don't know."

"How could you not know?"

"Because sometimes he compliments me and it's not flirting. It's just a compliment, but then there are times, like last weekend when he asked me to stay with him until he fell asleep. It was the sweetest more endearing thing, but I don't know what it meant to him. Sometimes I wonder if he _is _flirting, but he's so subtle that I can't tell and I don't want to ask because it'd be awkward."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Man, I don't know. I really don't. I can't be all Braveheart and stand tall, saying 'He's mine' and I can't stay away from him. We work in the same building. Not to mention I don't want to stay away from him. I just know that, if given the chance, we'd be so good for each other. I know it sounds corny and all, but I mean it, I'd be so good to him."

Nick was silent for a minute and Blaine watched as Nick's eyes drifted away from Blaine's face and then got a sparked look on his face. "What?" Blaine asked.

"Play that tune again."

"Okay." Blaine turned himself back to the piano and played it again.

After a bar or two, Nick joined in on the drums with a completely different beat than the last. Another bar later, Nick sang out:

**And I do want you to know**

**I think**

**You'd be good to me**

**And I'd be so good to you.**

Blaine stopped playing and looked back at Nick. "That was great!" The mood clearly changed in Blaine's voice. He was fully distracted from his melancholy and focused on Nick's birth of a song.

"You did it. I just filled in the lines. Come on, let's get some more done. I'm feeling inspired."

Blaine was compliant and started tooling around with some more notes to add onto his song and the more the notes went on, Blaine was able to tack on some lyrics to Nick's original riff.

It wasn't until Blaine saw Kurt at work on Wednesday that they started talking again. Kurt was sitting on the stage floor painting in some stencil work on one of the flats for the set and Blaine wandered over to him on his break. "Hi," Blaine said as he put his hands in his pockets.

Kurt turned around on the floor and smiled. "Hi!"

"How's it going?" Blaine was happy to be greeted with a smile, but his own facial features showed caution.

"Good. It was nice to have Monday and Tuesday off. Vin and I saw The Book of Mormon last night."

"Wow!" Blaine raised his eyebrows. "How was it?"

"Oh my God! It was fabulous. So funny!"

"Can I ask you a question?"

Kurt suddenly realized the significance of Blaine's expression and tone of voice. He was troubled. Kurt furrowed his eyebrows and turned his head to the side like a puppy. "What's wrong?"

Blaine looked down at his feet and toed the stage floor with his right foot. "Um… Are we… we're okay, right?"

Kurt's expression didn't change, but he stood up to face Blaine properly. "Yeah. Blaine, we're fine. Is this why you didn't call me this weekend? Because you thought I was mad at you?"

"W-well, kinda. I mean, I knew you were probably busy with helping Vin move in and all, but we didn't leave things so well on Friday and I just- Kurt, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. It was none of my business and I don't want us to stop being friends."

"Blaine, no. No; stop. I'm not mad at you. Yeah, what you said upset me because no one else supports Vin moving in so soon, but we're fine. I promise you. I'm not going to stop being friends with you because you don't agree with my boyfriend moving in with me for a month."

"It's not that-"

"It's okay, Blaine. You don't need to defend anything."

"But we're really okay?"

"Yes." Kurt smiled. He reminded himself not to hug Blaine, even though his first instinct was to do so.

"Okay. Good. I mean- great. I mean- I'm glad."

Kurt giggled. He liked seeing Blaine nervous. He wasn't sure why, but it was something he added to the list of things that Kurt thought made Blaine adorable. He saw some bustling around the orchestra pit and knew that Blaine had to get back to his piano. "So, I'll see you at lunch?"

"Yes. Wait. Actually, I had plans with a few people from the orchestra, but you're more than welcome to come. It's just lunch at the diner around the corner."

"Sure. Okay."

Blaine would settle for this. It wasn't perfect, but it was what it was and that was enough. Friendship was enough.

Lunch wasn't as awkward as he thought it would be, but it was still a little awkward because they hadn't really spent a whole lot of time together while with other people. Blaine thought he might as well get used to it because with Vin around, he probably wouldn't be getting to spend much alone time with Kurt.

It wasn't until the night of the final dress rehearsal of the show, on Thursday, that Blaine resigned to not be sad about it anymore. They could be friends and laugh and joke. So, as a test to himself, Blaine invited both Kurt and Vin to his next show on Monday night. He told himself that this would be a good thing because then he'd be able to see Kurt in a new light. He'd be able to see Kurt happy with Vin and it would make it easier to get over him. But really, in the back of his mind, he just wanted to see Kurt outside of work again.

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><p>Sorry this took so long to get out, my loves :( I actually had this finished a couple days ago and I forgot that I didn't update :( Please forgive me ? xoxo Grace<p>

PLEASE REVIEW!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Three weeks had passed since Vin moved in for their trial run. Kurt quickly found out that not everything would be as happy as he thought. Vin visiting was one thing. Living there was something else entirely. Vin left wet towels on the floor in their bedroom, complained about the reality TV shows that Kurt watched, and left the TV on while he slept instead of setting a sleeping timer for it to turn off. Kurt hated that because he preferred to sleep in silence and the longer the TV was on, the more electricity was being used and Kurt and Puck's bill would go up. At first these things were easy to overlook, then it became a bit harder to ignore when it was an everyday thing. Kurt knew that those were just little things and he shouldn't let thing like that get to him. A wet towel on the floor wasn't something to argue about.

He hadn't hung out alone with Blaine since before Vin moved in, but he saw him at work and had taken Vin to a couple of his band's shows. They had drinks with the band after and it went better than Kurt expected. Based on how jealous Vin was in the weeks before he moved in, he though Vin would be clingy or something, but he wasn't. He was charming and social with everyone, including Blaine. They had a lot of similar interests, so they ended up chatting for nearly a half hour. Afterwards, Vin had nothing, but nice things to say about Blaine and apologized for being so short with him before about spending so much time with Blaine.

But even then, those couple nights wouldn't be enough to stop the eruption that would happen three weeks after Vin moved in. While Vin liked Blaine and was happy that Kurt enjoyed his job and had a friend, he was starting to harbor a new jealousy. Kurt would come home from work with a face full of smiles and beginning chatting about Blaine. Blaine seemed to be a popular topic for Kurt to talk about. If Blaine called, it didn't matter what Kurt and Vin were doing, Kurt would stop to talk to him. He would do the same with text messages. And while it was nice of Blaine to make a point to invite not only Kurt, but Vin to his band's shows, he didn't understand why Kurt had to go to everyone. They only went to a couple so far, but Vin seemed to be getting his fill of the sweet faced man with beautiful eyes.

Vin liked Blaine; he really did and had nothing against him, but he was beginning to think that Kurt was more pre-occupied with Blaine sometimes. It bothered him. Kurt was never like this. He missed being able to spend time with Kurt and make everything about themselves. Now it seemed that Blaine was there even when he wasn't.

One night, Vin had hoped to get that back by planning a romantic night out for him and Kurt. He made reservations at a fancy restaurant, he bought Kurt flowers and chocolate, which he hid in his car to surprise Kurt with, he even cleaned the entire apartment so that Kurt didn't have to worry about anything when he came home from work. Vin thought he planned everything down to the very last detail and was confident that Kurt would love it. Vin was proud of himself for organizing the whole thing. The last thing he expected was what actually happened.

"I already told Blaine we'd go to his show," Kurt informed. He and Vin were arguing once again. They'd been doing that more increasingly as the month progressed. Bickering had become a near daily thing and a full blown fight was a once a week event. It always ended the same. Neither one would back down on their argument, they'd agree to spend some time in different parts of the apartment and come back to talk calmly and rationally an hour later. It wasn't long after that when one of them found themselves being fucked into the mattress and screaming the other's name. In a sweaty mess afterward, they always laughed and agreed that make-up sex was well worth the fighting.

This time, Blaine invited Kurt and Vin to another one of his band's shows and Vin had other ideas of what to do with their evening. "But I made reservations."

"If you want to go out to dinner, we can go someplace else, at a different time, and make Blaine's show."

"No. I made reservations at this specific place. Is it so bad that I want to take you to a classy restaurant instead of hanging out in a dingy bar?"

"You didn't mind hanging out in the dingy bar for his last two shows. In fact, you spent a large chunk of time talking to him and only him. So, what's the problem with changing things around?"

"Because I don't want to. I want to take you to this place and I don't want to go to Blaine's concert."

"Well, I want to go to Blaine's concert."

"Why? Don't you see him enough?"

"He's my friend. Friends support each other."

"Does he not have any other friends? You seem to be the only one that goes."

"His friends are in the band."

"I just don't understand why it's _you_ that has to be there. For once, I would like to take you out to a really nice place."

"For once? !" Kurt began to raise his voice. "I took you to see a Broadway show your first week here."

"And it was lovely, Babe, it really was, but you missed the point. _I_ want to take _you_ out. I want to take you somewhere nice where I can show you off and make swooning eyes at you across a candle lit table."

"That sounds great, Vin. I would love to do that… _tomorrow_. I don't understand. It's just dinner plans. Why are you so hooked on dinner?"

"Why are you so hooked on seeing Blaine perform?"

For some reason, Vin's rhetorical question made Kurt both guilty and more angry. "It's just reservations! Reservations can be canceled!"

"So can plans!"

"The restaurant's feelings won't be hurt if we reschedule for another night."

"And Blaine's feelings will?"

Kurt felt it again and his words got caught in his throat. He stuttered as a new sentence pushed past his lips. "I-I don't know. Maybe."

Vin huffed. "I can't believe this. I doubt he'll care that much. You have a life outside of being his friend. He'll get over it."

"It's rude! I already told him we'd be there!"

"You didn't consult me at all."

"Neither did you on dinner."

"I wanted to surprise you."

"With dinner?" Kurt contorted his face. "Why? !"

Vin raised his hands and dropped them down by his sides, his hands slapping against his legs and making a loud noise. "Because I wanted to create a romantic night where I could tell you that I'm in love with you!" He yelled. There was a pause and Vin bit his tongue. "You know, you were so concerned with not hurting Blaine's feelings, but did you once consider that you were hurting mine? Did you stop and think for one second about I did so that we could have a night that is just for us?"

Kurt froze and his expression immediately fell. He felt guilty. One hundred percent guilty for being so selfish. He saw what Vin was trying to do with the fancy restaurant, but failed to see why. He was too busy focusing on himself and what he wanted and seeing Blaine that he forgot to care about what Vin wanted. "Vin, I… I'm-" Kurt gulped, and turned his eyes down, shaking his head for a moment before lifting his head again.

Vin looked tired now and let down. He sighed in defeat and looked Kurt square in the eyes because this was not how he had planned to tell Kurt that he loved him for the first time. He'd wanted to tell Kurt that he loved him so many times before, but was never able to come up with the words because he didn't feel it was the right time or special enough. But here they were, in their worst argument to date, and Vin just blurted it out like it didn't matter. He used it as a tool to throw in Kurt's face. He didn't mean to do that, but it came out anyway. He felt awful. Vin was still angry too because Kurt was so pre-occupied with being there for Blaine and not wanting to be there for Vin. It made him jealous and upset and feel helpless because he loved the man in front of him and there was nothing he could do about how he felt. These feelings were thrust upon him without his permission and were going to keep coming. He bit down on his bottom lip and turned, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" Kurt called out, his voice squeaking.

"For a walk," Vin answered.

Kurt wanted to tell Vin to stay, just stay, but he knew Vin needed time to himself. He could feel his eyes begin to sting. He walked toward Vin a little. "When will you be back?" His voice was calmer, more careful and tentative now.

"I don't know." He reached the door.

"You forgot your phone," Kurt said when the door opened.

Vin turned back, looking even more tired still, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Oops." He turned back and walked out the door. The door wasn't slammed, but there was more than the normal volume sounding from the click of it closing.

Kurt found a seat and sat down, putting his head in his hands. "What am I doing?" Kurt asked himself aloud. He wasn't handling things as well as he thought. He was still focusing on Blaine and slowly forgetting about Vin. He told himself he couldn't do that. He had to be with Vin. He had to be. He couldn't hurt him. Vin was a safe, loving, responsible choice. After all this time, Kurt still couldn't get Blaine out of his head. He tried and tried, but the only thing that made Kurt stop thinking about him was Vin. Vin was the kind of person that Kurt felt he should be with. There was nothing wrong with a choice like Blaine, but something was telling Kurt that he had to choose Vin. Vin would never betray him and Vin would never hurt him. Vin would love him. Vin did love him; he proved it just now. "How did I get myself into this mess?"

**Blaine**

Blaine kept checking his phone and looking into the audience. He looked nervous and anxious. The later the time ticket away, the more anxious he got.

"You doing okay?" Nick asked.

Blaine was ringing his hands together. "Yeah. Fine." He took a deep breath. "Kurt and Vin are supposed to be here."

"You really wanna sing the new song tonight?"

"Yes. I do. It turned out great."

"It's about Kurt."

"Loosely based."

"Pretty close to reality, if you ask me."

"Well, I'm not."

Nick lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay. Forget I said anything."

Matty walked up behind them both and announced that they had to go on. Blaine took another deep breath and walked out on stage with his band. He scanned the audience with his eyes for the hundreth time and knew that Kurt wasn't there. Blaine wondered where he could be because Kurt said he wouldn't miss it. He tried to be hopeful. He was really just worried because he wanted Kurt to hear his new song. He didn't know what kind of reaction Kurt would have, or even if he'd know it was for him, but he wanted to sing it to him nevertheless.

The first half hour passed and Kurt was still a no show. He texted Kurt at their intermission, but Kurt never responded. When they had ten minutes left to their set, Blaine had lost all hope that Kurt would come at all.

Matty announced Blaine and Blaine took the front and center spot on the stage, switching places with Matty. He took a breath and scanned the audience again. No Kurt. His heart sank.

**Everyone's around, no words are coming out.**

**And I can't find my breathe, can we just say the rest with no sound.**

**And I know this isn't enough, I still don't measure up.**

**And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it.**

**And I do want you know I hold you up above everyone.**

**And I do want you know I think you'd be good to me**

**And I'd be so good to you.**

**I would.**

Flashes of Kurt flickered before him and he pretended that everyone looking back at him was Kurt. He sang harder, really feeling that music and the words he sang, the words he wrote. He meant every one of them.

**Thought I saw a sign, somewhere between the lines.**

**Maybe it's me, maybe I only see, what I want.**

**But I still have your letter, just got caught between**

**Someone I just invented, and who I really am and who I've become.**

He felt so much emotion right now. He could feel the lump rising in his throat, but he pushed through it and hoped that no one could see the glossy sheen that he knew to be forming over his eyes.

**And I do want you know I hold you up above everyone.**

**And I do want you know I think you'd be good to me**

**And I'd be so good to you.**

**Woahh**

**You bring me higher.**

**Yeah.**

**I would.**

He started to wonder why. Why couldn't Kurt be his? Why does Vin get to have Kurt when Blaine would be so good to him. He wanted Kurt so badly. He wanted him in his arms and against his lips and so much more. This was agony. Being the supportive friend to the person you want most hurt more than Blaine could bare sometimes.

**And I do want you know I hold you up above everyone.**

**And I do want you know I think you'd be good to me**

**And I'd be so good to you.**

**I'd be good to you,**

**I'd be good to you,**

**I'd be so good to you...**

The final note was played and Blaine closed his eyes. When he opened them he did one last scan of the audience. Kurt was nowhere to be found among the clapping people. A tear rolled down Blaine's cheek and he wiped it away instantly.

**Kurt**

Kurt sat in his living room, unmoving, for an hour, which turned into two. He kept glancing at his phone on the table next to him. He should have been at the bar and hour and a half ago. Blaine's set was probably almost done or just ending. He received a text from him asking where he was and if everything was alright, but Kurt couldn't answer him. He waited in silence, waiting and waiting.

The apartment door finally opened and Kurt remained in the chair. He didn't want to get his hopes dashed if he stood and saw Puck. He heard the scuffing of shoes on the kitchen tile and when he looked up from his hands, Vin was standing in front of him.

Kurt looked apologetic and saddened. Shades of guilt, regret, and shame were mixed in as well. He opened his mouth to say something, but Vin stopped him. He crouched down to Kurt's level and put his hands on Kurt's knees. "Let's try this again?" Vin's voice was soft and shaky. "Kurt," he exhaled, "you're beautiful and I don't know how I ever got by without having you in my life before we met. I know we've been having our problems lately, trying to figure out how to cohabit together, but that still doesn't change the fact that I'm in love with you." His eyes searched Kurt's, looking for some form of comprehension or understanding. "I love you… Kurt. I love you."

The words were going in his ears, but he didn't seem to understand them. Vin was telling Kurt that he loved him. His mind went momentarily blank and for a second, he though that saying he loved Vin back was like saying a permanent goodbye to Blaine. Although, after how he completely disregarded Vin earlier, Kurt felt that he owed it to Vin to commit to him fully. He'd been trying and failing at keeping Blaine separate from everything else, but maybe he hadn't really been trying at all. Vin was his boyfriend and Kurt felt that he needed to give the relationship a try now that it would be changing from a long distance one. And Vin loved him. Love deserves a chance.

Kurt got down on the floor with Vin and hugged him. "I'm so sorry. You were right about everything and I should have chosen you and thought of your feelings first. I'm sor-" he sniffled and buried his face in Vin's neck. "I'm so sorry, Vin."

Vin held on to Kurt tightly and rubbed his back, shushing him as he caressed him. "It's all right. We'll get through it. This will pass and we'll get better, right?"

"How do you know?" Kurt asked, his voice choked.

"Because I love you."

Kurt backed away and looked Vin in the eyes. Vin was barely smiling, but there was a joy in his expression admitting, finally, that he loved Kurt. Kurt, on the other hand, looked sad and regretful. "I…" He paused, taking a deep breath. "I love you too."

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><p>The song is "Good to You" by Marianas Trench. I'll post it on my Tumblr<p>

This wasn't the happiest of chapters, but fear not, my loves, I do have a plan and it's a good one :) I pitched it to someone and they agreed that it was well worth the wait :P

Please Review!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	15. Chapter 15

**You'd be surprised how many times I revised this chapter. I was never fully satified until now. Hope you like it :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15<strong>

It wasn't until two days after Kurt and Vin's fight that Kurt saw Blaine. Blaine popped his head into the box office where Kurt was going through how many open seats there were for the evening performance. "Hi," Blaine greeted softly with his head rested on the door frame. Only his head, shoulder, and left hand were visible.

Kurt turned his head and stopped, mid-chew on a cracker he was eating. His face read that he was uncomfortable and trying to think of something to say. He quickly swallowed the cracker. "Hi." There was a pause between them as they entered into one of their normal deep stares. Kurt swallowed audibly. He still felt bad for not showing up at Blaine's show and not returning any of Blaine's texts. "I'm- um. I'm sorry I didn't make it to your show on Monday. I know I said I'd be there, but something sort of came up and I had to deal with it." He swallowed again.

The rest of Blaine's body came into view and he stepped into the box office. "It's okay." His puppy dog eyes and melancholy expression told Kurt that it wasn't okay. "Things come up sometimes."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed for lack of anything else to say.

"Besides, it was just a show at a dive bar. Nothing important. There will be others."

"I'll go to the next one," Kurt promised. He wished, for both of their sakes that it was a promise Kurt could keep.

"It's okay."

"No, Blaine, it's not. I said I'd be there and I wasn't. I didn't even respond to your texts. I'm sorry."

"Is everything okay?" Blaine sat down in a fold out chair. He sat close to Kurt, his knees almost touching Kurt's.

Kurt sensed something was wrong. He took a deep breath. He reminded himself that he needed and owed it to Vin to give their relationship a chance. Giving it a chance meant that he had to let his fantasy of having Vin and continuing the friendship he had with Blaine the way it was going. He could still be friends with Blaine, but not in the way they had been. "Vin is leaving this weekend."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He goes back to Vermont on Sunday."

"Four weeks went by quickly."

"Yeah."

"So how did the trial run go?"

"Um… it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. We fought a bit." He bit his lower lip in the corner. Blaine knew this was a distress showing tick that Kurt did. "But we decided that even though we fought and bickered, we still want to make it work enough to be together."

There was a silence and both men had their eyes downcast. Because neither one could see the other, neither knew that both men were unhappy because they knew what it meant for their own form of relationship. "Th-that's great," Blaine offered, finally lifting his head. His tone betrayed him though and Kurt could tell that Blaine didn't approve.

Kurt just assumed that Blaine's somberness was for the same reasons that Blaine didn't approve for a month ago. "I love him," Kurt finally said.

Blaine's eyes widened slightly. "Good. I'm happy for you." There was another pause. "I hope everything works out for you."

"Thank you."

Blaine looked down at his watch. "I have to get over to the pit."

"Lunch?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah!" Blaine pretended to sound cheerful. He wasn't sure how convincing it sounded.

"Okay. Good. I'll see you and the others at the diner then."

"No. I think we're going to the deli today."

"Even more perfect. I haven't been there in a little while." Blaine nodded, gave a forced grin and left. Kurt turned himself back to the computer and closed his eyes. He wasn't happy. Moving his relationship forward with Vin made him happy, but the downside that always made Kurt's heart sink, was the knowledge that in order to keep Vin and his relationship moving forward in a positive place, he had to give up Blaine and become nothing more than casual friends.

Vin wasn't forcing him to do this. This was something Kurt came up with and knew had to happen. He had a sense that Blaine knew what Kurt was trying to say and that's why he sounded so cheerless.

Blaine knew by the shear mention of Kurt saying he loved Vin that what he was really saying was: We can't be friends anymore.

Days passed. The week was nearly up. Blaine said hello to Kurt in passing and had lunch with him and the small group of friends he made from playing in the orchestra. There was nothing special about their discourses and it seemed to get easier as the days went on. Easier, meaning that he got into a schedule of going into the theater and straight to the pit instead of the box office and hanging out with the orchestra members or actors on his breaks instead of going to see Kurt. He limited his time with Kurt to lunch and saying goodbye at the end of the night. He wondered what Kurt thought, though, since he never seemed to go out of his way to see Blaine. He supposed that made it all the more easier.

Kurt, felt the same as Blaine. The less he saw of Blaine, the easier it got, but nothing could stop either of them from thinking of one another and hating their current predicament.

The Saturday before Vin was set to leave, Kurt had to work, but was able to get Vin a seat to the show at his theater. Vin loved the show and Kurt and him left the theater together at the show's end. Kurt exited out the side doors where the offices were. It was away from the stage door, but also away from the main exit where the patrons exited.

Vin asked where Blaine was and Kurt shrugged his shoulders and said he didn't know, but was probably still sitting in the orchestra pit. "You barely said anything about him all week. I thought you two hung out at work."

Kurt looked down at his shoes and shook his head. "No. We go to lunch with the same group of people, but that's about it."

Vin squinted. "Oh."

"Why?"

"No reason. I was just curious." They kept walking in the direction of the subway station. Vin finally stopped Kurt when he offered nothing else as far as conversation. "Hey. Wait. I can tell you've been a little down since our fight on Monday. I think I already know, but are you distancing yourself from Blaine because of our fight?" Kurt looked into Vin's eyes, shocked at the question being asked of him. He didn't answer. "You don't have to do that, you know."

"I don't?"

"No." Vin took a breath and cupped Kurt's cheek. He kissed Kurt's lips gently. "Sweetie, I know I complain about being jealous of him, but that doesn't mean you have to get rid of your friend because I'm insecure."

"A person is only jealous because their partner gave them a reason to be. I didn't mean to, but I made you think you had a reason to be jealous of him. It wasn't fair to you."

"I know you two are just friends. He's a good guy and he's clearly a good friend of yours. I can't ask you to give up your friends. You've been sad since you felt you had to quit being his friend. I love you and I'm supposed to make you happy. Telling you who you can and can't hang out with wouldn't make me a good boyfriend and it wouldn't make you happy. I love when you're happy. Your smile is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen."

"You mean it? It's okay if I'm friends with Blaine?"

Vin smiled. "Oh my goodness. Of course it's okay. You can be friends with whomever you want! If they were good to you and made you happy and you came home to me every evening, that would be just fine. Man, what have you been thinking all week?"

"I don't know. Lots of things, I suppose."

"Well, stop thinking all of them and start knowing that it's time we were happy again." He ran his hands down Kurt's arms and clasped his hands. "Spend tonight and tomorrow with me and on Monday, if Blaine has a show, go to it. Go have coffee, call him, just do something."

Kurt didn't know what to think of what Vin was saying. Vin never asked Kurt to stop being Blaine's friend. That was all Kurt's doing. He also was positive that if Vin knew why Kurt decided to do that, then he wouldn't be so eager to tell Kurt to hang out with Blaine. Vin had reason to be jealous and Kurt meant it when he said that it was his fault. He definitely had some things to think about. Going back to the way things were with Blaine could mean too many bad things for him and Vin, but not having Blaine in his life made him very upset in ways that were hard to hide.

He took a deep breath and gazed into Vin's eyes. Maybe he did love him. Really love him. Kurt certainly saw Vin's suggestion as a sacrificial act of love. "Thank you," he said.

Vin smiled and kissed Kurt's cheek. "You don't need to thank me. I love you."

"I love you too." This was the first time Kurt said it since first saying it to Vin that he thought he might actually mean it.

On Sunday, Kurt said his goodbyes to Vin and told him to call when he got back in Vermont. On Monday he spent the day staring at his phone and debating if he should call Blaine or not. He didn't. Instead he went over to Finn and Rachel's for dinner and hung out with them. He spent the rest of the week trying to find ways to elongate conversation with Blaine and ease into some form of normalcy. It was strange. He kind of felt nervous when it came to being around Blaine. He felt he had no reason to be. _He tucked my drunk ass in his own bed, for crying out loud,_ he thought. It took him over a week to build up the courage to walk right up to him when no one else was around.

The day he decided that he plucked up enough courage to talk to him as if nothing ever happened between them, he walked into work to see Blaine sitting on the stairs of the lobby, looking a little disheveled and worrisome. He was bent over so far that he had his hands behind his head and his head almost in his own lap. Kurt sat next to him, immediately worried that something was wrong. "Are you okay?"

"No," Blaine answered immediately.

Kurt jumped a little at the snap in Blaine's voice. "What's the matter?"

Blaine sat up straight, but didn't look at Kurt right away. He didn't want to expel all his problems to Kurt. They'd reached a point where anything more than what they had would be tipping back into what they used to have. But still, he was upset and needed to get what was wrong off his chest. "A pipe burst in my house."

"Oh! Was anything damaged?"

"Yep. Lot's of stuff. Pretty much everything in the music room, the ceiling and walls on the first floor, anything electronic on the second floor short circuited, I don't know how many of my clothes got drenched in whatever gross water hit them. Oh, and when someone came to check it out, they found asbestos. None of us can go back until Heath and Safety Regulations says it passes inspection codes."

"When did this happen?"

"Two days ago."

"Where have you been staying?"

"I spent the past couple nights on Matty's couch, but I can't stay there. Landlord stuff. I don't even know if insurance will replace everything that was wrecked. That's who I was just on the phone with. They need to send someone to survey the damage. I don't know how long that will take and I don't know how long it will take after that to get the money to replace everything. Not that we have a place to put anything. Fuck." Blaine put his head back in his hands.

"So, where are you going to go now?"

"I don't know. A hotel maybe. I don't really have a whole lot of options."

Kurt thought quickly. He decided that he couldn't just leave Blaine with his problems when he knew he was in his capabilities to help. "Y-you can stay at my place."

Blaine whipped his head to the side to look Kurt in the eyes. Kurt could see that Blaine's eyes were tinted red, probably from not sleeping well. Even with the whites of Blaine's eyes blood shot, Kurt still thought the honey color was the most gorgeous color.

"You're offering me a place to stay?" Blaine asked, shocked at the offer.

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"As long as you need."

"I'm not sure how long that will be."

"Doesn't matter. You need a place to stay and I have a couch. I'm sure Puck won't mind. I'll give him a call to give him a heads up."

Blaine rubbed the back of his neck and scratched the side of his head. "I don't- thank you. Are you sure? I don't want to overstep or anything."

"What's to overstep? We're friend's right?" Blaine nodded slowly, glad that Kurt didn't sound to be doing this out of pity. "Friend's help each other out." Kurt patted Blaine's knee. "Don't worry. We'll get through this." He stood up after giving Blaine a comforting smile. "See you at lunch." He left it at that and walked to the box office. He swallowed hard as he walked away, thinking about how warm Blaine's leg was when he touched it, how hypnotic his eyes are, and how full his lips looked. He wondered if he was making a mistake with Blaine, but thought about how Blaine needed help and helping Blaine could never be wrong.

Blaine watched Kurt walk away and touched the part of his knee where Kurt had previously had his hand. It was subtle, a simple touch, and it meant a lot to him. He hadn't expected Kurt to do that. After almost two weeks of minimal contact and almost a month and a half of not hanging out, Blaine hadn't even expected Kurt to sit down. He thought he would have walked right by him. But no. Kurt came to his rescue. He smiled, starting to think that things would get better. Not only with Kurt and their friendship, but things in general; he felt life would get better.

Kurt called Puck once he got into the box office. "Hey, my friend needs a place to stay for a little bit. A pipe burst in his house. Do you mind if he crashes on our couch?"

"Nope," Puck answered. "Far be it for me to cock block you."

"It's not like that, Noah! He's a friend and that's it."

"What's this dude's name?"

"Blaine."

"Oh! The guy with the band that you've been eyefucking? His music's pretty good."

"Noah! We haven't been," he lowered his voice, "eyefucking. We're friends."

"Uh-huh. Stop calling me Noah. Only my mom and nana can call me that. I saw you at his shows. You sit close to the stage and stare at him and not the lead singer."

Kurt ignored Puck. "So you're cool with him staying?"

"Yep." There was a laugh on Puck's end.

"Awesome. Thanks." Kurt got off the phone and went back to the lobby to see if Blaine was still there. What he saw made him stop in his tracks immediately. Blaine was leaning his back on the wall where Landon, the guy who played the drums in the orchestra with Blaine, was looming over him very closely. Kurt gulped and felt a pang in his chest. He could see them talking and Landon was running a single finger down Blaine's chest. Kurt almost wished he could hear what they were saying, but part of him was glad that he couldn't.

**Blaine**

Blaine was not in the mood for Landon's passes today. He was in a bad mood to begin with and Landon's aggressive attempts as getting Blaine into bed with him were getting a bit too much. It never made him nervous. Working at Jericho and being a former manwhore prepared him for being put in positions like this.

"So, did you tap Kurt, yet?" Landon asked in a low voice.

Blaine could smell the mouthwash that Landon used. "We're friends." He rolled his eyes.

"I know. I'd like to be friends with him too if it meant I could hold onto the back of his head while he blew me."

"Your attempts are useless, you know." He crossed his arms across his rib cage. "I'm not going to fuck you or be fucked by you."

Landon ran a single finger down Blaine's chest. "You're just playing hard to get."

Blaine smiled and leaned in impossibly close to Landon's face. Landon smirked, thinking he was going to get what he wanted. "That's right. I thought it would be kinky if I turned you down every time. I'd have you eating out of the palm of my hand."

"Come on. I'll even let you top."

Blaine leaned in closer still, his lips barely brushing Landon's. "Not on your life." He leaned back and scooted under Landon's arm that was resting on the wall next to his head. He left him standing there and went into the theater.

**Kurt**

He inhaled sharply when he saw Blaine lean into Landon. _Were they, like, a thing?_ Kurt wondered. He knew he had been purposely avoiding Blaine, but he didn't think he'd been ignoring him so much that he'd miss a relationship happening.

Kurt saw Blaine duck down under Landon's arm and go into the theater. He went back into the box office and sat down, deciding he'd talk to him at lunch.

Lunch time rolled around and when Kurt turned in his seat to leave, he was startled to see Blaine leaning up against the doorframe the way he used to. Head resting on the frame with his shoulder keeping him up, arms and legs crossed, looking very relaxed. He jumped, but immediately smiled. "You scared me."

"I know. That's why I didn't say anything. I wanted to see your reaction."

"It was more dramatic than being surprised with you and Landon's exchange this morning." Kurt slipped out the sentence and wished he hadn't said it because it wasn't his business and it sounded like he was spying.

Blaine's smiled faded. "Oh. That." His eyebrows danced for a second. "He's persistent and annoying."

"…So. You're not… together?"

Blaine made a disgusted noise. "God no!"

"Good," Kurt murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing. Lunch?"

"Everyone's going to the diner. Want to go to the pizza place around the corner?"

"Sure. Who else is going?"

Blaine licked his lips and toed the ground for a second. "Uh. Just us."

The corner of Kurt's lips turned upward and he felt his eyes sparkling. It was just like they were before. It made him happy. They had just picked up where they left off and he didn't know if that was a good or bad thing, but, for the moment, he wouldn't worry. "Okay. My room mate said it was okay with him if you stayed with us. You coming tonight?"

"No. Tomorrow. I'll bring all my stuff to work and I'll go home with you after. Is that okay?"

"That's perfect."

"Thank you so much for doing this for me. You don't know what it means to me."

"It's no problem. Really. Don't even mention it."

"Well, the least I can do is buy you lunch."

Kurt smiled and the two of them walked out of the office and out of the theater, chatting about the production.

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><p><strong>Please Review!<strong>

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Blaine did as he said the following day. He brought a large duffle bag and a guitar case to work with him. Kurt let him store his items in the box office and after work, Kurt helped him carry his things to Kurt's apartment. Blaine insisted that he could carry his duffle bag all the way, but it was heavy and Kurt finally ripped it off of his shoulder and handed him the guitar case.

"You didn't bring many things," Kurt mentioned.

"There wasn't really much to salvage. I had to send most of my clothes and all of my bedding out to a dry cleaner and the guy I bring them to takes forever."

"Then why do you use him?"

"Because he does the best job."

"That makes sense."

Blaine wasn't sure if Kurt was mocking him or not so he elaborated. "I'm a little picky about my clothes."

Kurt hummed. "I know the feeling." They approached Kurt's apartment building. "This is us," he said.

There was no elevator so they had to hike up four flights of stairs. "It's not much. It's tiny and not that glamorous compared to your place."

"It's not a competition," Blaine soothed.

Kurt put his key in the door and opened it. "Home sweet home." He lead Blaine through the kitchen and into the living room.

"Sorry we don't have an extra room. It's a comfortable couch though."

"No. No. I'm grateful. Thank you." He put his guitar case down and Kurt put Blaine's duffle bag on the couch. "You hungry?"

"Starved."

"There's a great Tai place near by that delivers. I'd cook, but we need to go grocery shopping and I'm too tired to cook."

"Pad tai sounds amazing right now. When does your room mate come home?"

"In an hour or so. His name's Puck."

"Oh." Blaine started eyeing the place. Kurt was right. It was tiny. But he could also see that someone, probably Kurt, put a lot of effort into arranging the room to maximize the space and look less like a cheap apartment and more like a swanky bachelor pad. It was neutral in gender really, but it was still something that Blaine could picture in a feature for Nate Berkus on how to properly decorate your little living space. He could see touches of Kurt everywhere. It made him happy and everything made him feel comfortable and at home… just like Kurt did.

"Here, let me give you the tour." Kurt smiled. "It won't last long." He pointed out the closed door behind him. "Puck's room." He walked over to another door and opened it. "Coat closet, but you can use it for whatever you need to store." Then he moved one door over and opened it. "My room."

Blaine looked inside and smiled. His room was even more stylish than the living room. Everything was black and white and touched with a bit of silver here and there. It was so neat and uniform. There were framed movie posters and pictures all over the walls. Framed magazine covers and playbills. It was beautiful and just so… Kurt. Blaine loved it. "It's nice," was all he could come up with to say.

"Thank you. Vin wants to change it when he moves in… we'll see about that." He made a huffing noise and lead Blaine back to the kitchen. "He really has no taste in interior decorating. He's so plain sometimes." He pointed out the last and final room, the bathroom. "Do you shower in the morning or night?"

"Morning."

"Me too, but we go into work at the same time, so it won't matter. We'll figure out a routine."

Blaine nodded and they stared at each other. "Thank you." Blaine did something he hardly ever dared to do. He hugged Kurt. He felt this was an appropriate time to do so. Touching was such an intimate thing that he never wanted to overstep his boundaries, but he was really thankful for what Kurt was doing for him that he felt a hug was okay.

Kurt smiled, wrapping his arms around Blaine and closing his eyes. "You don't need to thank me. I'm happy you're here." They stayed that way for another few moments and Kurt's phone rang. He jumped and backed away, pushing his hand into his pocket and extracting his cell phone. "It's Vin." He moved away from Blaine and held up one finger to Blaine to signify he'd be only a minute. "Hey, Baby." His conversation wasn't long and he quickly set out to ordering dinner for him, Blaine, and Puck.

The food arrived before Puck did and Kurt said that there was no point in letting the food go cold because Puck wasn't there. They could eat without him and save him some if they finished before he walked in. Kurt and Blaine talked more than they ate and they talked about everything.

"You know, the funny thing is that when I met Vin, I was really looking for you." Kurt forked a bit of noodles in his mouth with his chop sticks, saying the sentence like it was just another thing to add to the conversation.

When Kurt closed his eyes to chew, Blaine stared at Kurt in shock, awe, and unbelievably. _What was he saying?_ Blaine wondered. _That if I had been there that night, Kurt would have come to ask me out?_ He didn't know how to take that and averted his stare just as Kurt opened his eyes again. "Really? No." Blaine pretended like he wasn't phased by the comment, but merely flattered.

"Seriously. I thought you were really cute and nice. But the bartender said that your weren't working that night and I met Vin on the dance floor. Vin was different than the other guys. He wasn't completely interested in getting in my pants. I mean he did ask me to go back to his hotel room with him, but he didn't seem to mind when I said no. I took a chance on him and look where he and I are now." Kurt smiled. "He's moving in at the end of the summer."

"Yeah." Blaine took a sizable bite to avoid having to say anything else for the moment.

"I really did want to get to know you though. I was sort of disappointed you weren't there. Then I got drunk and forgot." Kurt laughed at his joke. Blaine chuckled as well.

"Well, it's good that we kept running into each other then. I'd be homeless if it weren't for you."

"I don't know." Kurt looked off into nothingness as he started to speak. He looked like he was speaking his thought process out loud. "It was strange. It was like I couldn't stop running into you at random times and I felt so comfortable around you. We barely knew anything about each other and, yet, I felt like you knew everything about me.

"Yeah, I know how you feel. I did too." Blaine grinned and took a sip of his water. "This is a nice change, by the way. No alcohol. It seems like most of the instances where we hang out, one if not both of us are drunk."

"Please don't remind me," Kurt laughed. "I keep thinking that I'm surprised you continue to be my friend when you spend your time watching me inebriated and then tucking me in at night."

"It's not as bad as you think." Blaine took a breath and plucked up the courage to say what he was really thinking. "You look really angelic when you sleep. I never minded taking care of you when you were drunk. It was worth the effort to make sure you were okay."

Kurt paused his actions and stared Blaine in the eyes. Both of their expressions softened and the mood changed. He could feel his heart beating and hear his own breathing. "You're eyes really are gorgeous, you know that?" Kurt gasped at the realization that he blurted his thought out loud.

Blaine looked pleasantly surprised. "You and Vin both keep saying that."

Kurt pursed his lips and nodded as he looked down at his food, pretending to pick something out with his chop sticks.

"Thank you though. It's sweet."

Kurt was about to say 'you're welcome' to Blaine, but was distracted by the door opening and Puck walking in the apartment. "Food here?" He called out from the kitchen.

"And already being consumed," Kurt called back. "Better hurry up before it's gone."

Puck joined Kurt and Blaine in the living room and Kurt made the introductions. They all chatted and ate their Pad Tai on the floor, surrounding the coffee table, and laughing as Puck and Kurt reminisced about their teen years to Blaine, who laughed along with them. Blaine was pleased to be learning about the people from his rival glee club and thought that Puck was a pretty chill guy. He really liked the atmosphere that Kurt and Puck created for themselves.

Blaine couldn't help, but notice how happy Kurt looked and thought that he hadn't seen him this happy in a long time. He looked so sweet when he laughed. Blaine was able to see Kurt's dimples and his face scrunched up.

Kurt was just hoping that Blaine didn't notice that he was leering a little too long. It seemed Puck and Blaine were becoming fast friends and Kurt thought that Blaine would have fit in perfectly had he gone to McKinley High School instead of Dalton. He sighed, lost in his thought for a moment and found himself wishing that Blaine did go to McKinley. He wished that he didn't have to wait so long to have met him. Blaine was an amazing person and by default, Kurt loved how he felt when he was around Blaine. He was comfortable and confident and liked himself a bit more. He thought it was strange that Blaine had that effect on him.

Kurt, Blaine, and Puck finished their Pad Tai and Puck stretched, saying that he had to get up early for work. Kurt squinted and looked at him curiously because even if he did have to get up early, Puck was never a go-to-bed-early kind of guy. He almost always stayed up late.

"It was nice meeting you," Blaine stated, "and thanks, really, for letting me stay while they fix my house."

"No problem, man." Puck got up and headed for his bedroom, but not before turning back to Kurt, while Blaine's back was to him, and pointing at Blaine while mouthing 'I like him.' Then, just before Blaine had a chance to catch him, Puck started making humping gestures with his hips.

Kurt tried to keep his face still because Blaine was looking at him, but he wasn't able to for long and Blaine turned just in time to miss Puck's immaturity. "G'night guys."

"_Goodnight_, Noah," Kurt said emphatically.

"Noah?" Blaine asked Kurt when Puck was gone.

"It's his first name. Everyone's called him Puck since… well since pre-school, I think."

"I take it Puck is his last name."

"Puckerman, actually, but you have the right idea."

"He's not g-"

"God no!" Kurt laughed. "Straighter than a politician." Blaine laughed at the joke and Kurt yawned. "I should probably start getting ready for bed. I do this moisturizing routine and it can take a while." He yawned again. "And I'm tired." He stood up. "I'll get you a pillow and sheets. You sure you're okay with the couch?"

"I'm perfectly happy with the couch. I'm just thankful to have a place to stay. I'd take the kitchen table if that's what you offered me."

Kurt smiled. "Good thing I have a couch then. Wouldn't want Puck to come out and think you were breakfast."

"Better you than him."

Kurt blushed and looked away. He quickly got an image in his mind of Blaine naked on a platter surrounded by fruit and mimosas, drizzling chocolate down himself for Kurt. He pushed it out of his mind just as fast as it came. "I'll go get those blankets." He got up and went into the closet in his room. He had spare everything because he was used to Finn having to come over and crash on the couch after one of the many times Rachel was in her crazy town rages. Kurt brought out a pillow, a fitted sheet to put on the couch, a flat sheet, a blanket and a comforter. Blaine insisted that he could put his bed together himself and that Kurt has done enough already, but Kurt helped him anyway.

When they were finished, Blaine and Kurt stood at opposite ends of the couch and stared at each other, neither knowing what to do next. "Thank you," Blaine professed again. He couldn't thank Kurt enough today it seemed.

"You're welcome."

"Really. Thank you. If I'm ever any imposition-"

"Don't even think about it. You couldn't impose even if you wanted to."

"It'll only be a week; two, at the most."

"I'm happy to help."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

There was another awkward silence. "You're probably tired," Blaine offered as filler.

Kurt wasn't sure why he was still standing there. He should already be in his room, but he couldn't help, but not really want to go to bed. He wanted to spend more time with Blaine. "Yeah. I'm- I'm going to get ready for bed."

Blaine was trying not to smile. "Right. Moisturizing routine."

"Right." There was yet another awkward pause. "So I'm just going to- Good night!" Kurt turned quickly and shuffled off to his bedroom, where his vanity was, and barely had time to hear Blaine say 'goodnight' back to him before his door was shutting.

Blaine let out a sigh and smiled, finally able to give himself the joyous action of expressing how happy he was to be where he was at that moment. Not to mention Kurt's awkwardness was utterly adorable. _He blushed. He actually blushed._ He smiled wider, trying to suppress a chuckle and changed out of his clothes and into a pair of sweats. His feet and chest were bare, but the comfort of the high thread count of the sheets and the knowledge that they were Kurt's was enough to warm him quickly.

He couldn't get what Kurt said to him earlier out of his head. _You know, the funny thing is that when I met Vin, I was really looking for you. _He didn't know what that meant. Why would Kurt be looking for him? They barely knew each other at that time. Could Kurt possibly he harboring feelings for Blaine? _No,_ Blaine thought. _He said it like it was filler in a conversation. Like it was nothing. He couldn't possibly have feelings for me. He has Vin._ Then he started to think about Vin and what he knew about their relationship and what he knew about Vin as a person. Vin was a good guy and it seemed like he was really good to Kurt. Then their was the selfish part of him that knew Kurt and him would be so good together. Kurt and him got along so well and had a connection that he just knew that he and Vin couldn't possibly have. _Right?_ Blaine told himself in his head. _I can't be the only one that feels our connection. Kurt has to feel it too. He just has too. He looks at me like he knows it too. Fuck, what am I thinking? What am I doing? Kurt's happy with Vin. Why am I even thinking about getting between them?_

About five minutes of silence went by and he didn't think about anything. He heard a door open and feet padding across the floor. He looked up to see if it were Kurt, but it was Puck, seemingly trying to be quiet as he tiptoed to the bathroom. On his way back, Puck saw that Blaine was still awake.

"Did I wake you up?" Puck asked.

"No. I was awake already."

"Oh. Ok. Hey, I gotta say, now that Kurt isn't in ear shot, you staying here is better than Vin. I like the guy, but… I don't know."

Blaine furrowed his brows in confusion and sat up. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know, man. It's weird. Kurt says he loves Vin and all, but you've been here for one evening and Kurt seems way more happy with you here than the entire month that Vin was. They fought constantly. He moped around for the past two or three weeks. Then you walk through that door and he's done being a sour-puss. Suddenly he smiles and laughs again. And he's not faking it. You can tell."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really. Hey, you two aren't, like… you know?"

"No!" Blaine exclaimed, filling in the blanks with what Puck meant. "No we're not sleeping together or hooking up or anything like that. Friends."

"That's too bad. I mean, I never pegged Kurt as a cheater, but you'd totally be better for Kurt than Vin. Vin's kind of boring, which is strange because teachers are usually a shit ton of fun when they're away from their teacher clothes. Seriously. Straight up freaks. And Vin is… normal. I never thought that would be a negative about someone, but normal isn't for Kurt. You know him. Does Kurt do normal or boring?"

Blaine smiled and laughed breathily. "No. Definitely not." Blaine didn't think Vin was boring from what little time he spent with him. He wasn't particularly exciting, but then again, Blaine always thought that Vin might have been different behind closed doors.

"I mean, like I said. I like Vin, he's good to Kurt, I'd rather see him happy. It's too bad you two are just friends. I wouldn't mind seeing you around more. Good night." Puck left Blaine sitting on the couch, silently stunned at what he had just said. Puck had no idea that what he said to Blaine was just what Blaine needed to hear.

Blaine suddenly thought that Puck was the universe telling him something. Kurt's room mate and friend was telling Blaine, who was practically a stranger, that Blaine made Kurt happier than the person Kurt said he loved. That he wished Blaine was with Kurt and not Vin. That Blaine was better suited for Kurt than the other. His only problem now was figuring out what to do with this information. Should he let it go and let Kurt be with the guy he chose? Or let himself have the feelings for Kurt that he was trying to burry?

He laid back down and covered his face with his hands.

It took Kurt a half hour to finish his moisturizing routine and he changed into a T-shirt and pajama pants. Kurt got under his covers and had just closed his eyes when he heard a tiny knock on his door. He sat up. "Come in."

The door opened slightly. In the dim lighting from the street light outside his window, he made out Blaine's face in the space between the door and the frame. It was so quiet at that moment. Kurt could hear himself breathing.

What Blaine said next came out both nervous and innocent. "I'm afraid of the dark."

He could hear his heart beating. His stomach was in his chest. He didn't believe Blaine's comment for a second, but for whatever reason, Blaine wanted to be near Kurt. The thought made Kurt's heart flutter and he realized that he wanted Blaine near him too. It made him nervous. Kurt continued to look at Blaine in the doorway and then when it was almost too long to give an answer, he smiled nervously. "I sleep on the left," he replied and lifted the covers on the opposite side of the bed.

Blaine stepped in Kurt's room quietly and shut the door. He tiptoed to the right side of the bed and crawled in next to Kurt. The sheets were cold at first, but he could feel the heat radiating from Kurt's body. There was silence again for a few minutes. Blaine felt his heart beating out of his chest. His stomach was in knots. He knew he shouldn't be where he was. Kurt had a boyfriend. Kurt wasn't his. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to leave. Kurt was everything he wanted. He knew it the moment he saw him. It was like stars and planets aligning to create some sort of cosmic anomaly. He hadn't been around someone who made him nervous like Kurt did since he was a teenager.

He looked over at Kurt, who was on his side and facing away from him. He kept thinking about what Kurt had said: _The night I met Vin, I was really looking for you. I was looking for you. I was looking for you. _He knew it was wrong, but he gathered up all his courage and slowly made his way over to Kurt's side of the bed. Blaine lined his body up with Kurt's and wrapped his arm around his middle. He was so close his nose was in Kurt's hair. He breathed him in. _God, he smells so good._ At first he thought Kurt was sleeping, but then, after another long minute, Kurt laced his fingers with Blaine's and brought Blaine's arm around, making him hold Kurt tighter. Blaine's hand was now on Kurt's chest and he could feel Kurt's heartbeat. It was racing. It only made his own race more.

"Kurt?" Blaine whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Do you like me?"

There was a pause and Kurt gulped audibly. "You'll have to be more specific. Are you asking if I like you as a friend, or do I have feelings for you?"

"Both."

"You're in my bed, so I think it's safe to say we're friends." Another pause.

"And the other part?"

"I have a boyfriend."

"That wasn't the question."

Kurt let go of Blaine's hand and started to turn over to face Blaine. Blaine's arm slackened, but remained around Kurt's middle, not ready to take his hand back. Kurt was close enough to Blaine's face that he had to shimmy away an inch or two.

For a second, Kurt got lost in the shine in Blaine's honey eyes. He licked his lips and glanced at Blaine's lips. He gulped and looked back at Blaine's eyes. "I'm not a cheater."

"Why did you let me come in here?"

"I don't know." His face looked almost sad, like his moral compass was at odds with itself and his natural glow was suffering for it.

Seeing Kurt potentially on the brink of being upset made him regret coming in the room to begin with. "I don't think Vin would approve."

"It would bother him…" Kurt trailed off as if in thought. "Knowing that I invited you into my bed when I have a boyfriend, hypothetically, if I were with you, would you trust me when I wasn't around you?"

He inhaled and pictured Kurt with him with the title of boyfriend. He gave the question some real thought. He wanted to say that if Kurt was his boyfriend then trust wouldn't be an issue because he'd never want to be without him. "If you were with me, I trust you wouldn't do this again."

"Why?"

"Because I can see how it's eating at you. Just by inviting me in you know how it would probably piss off Vin, yet you did it anyway. I doubt you want to feel like this again."

Kurt chewed on his lip and his face softened some. It was nice to know that Blaine wasn't just trying to get into his pants, but he knew that already. Blaine didn't strike him as the player type. "Why did you ask to be invited in?"

"I don't know." That was a lie. Blaine did know why he asked, but he didn't know how to say it yet. He thought for a second about the predicament he put Kurt in with his boyfriend. This isn't how he wanted him, as a secret. He took his arm back and sat up. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put you in this position. I'll go back to the couch." He started to slide over to get out from under the covers, but he stopped when he felt Kurt's hand cover his own.

"Wait." Kurt's face looked nervous again. He gulped when he was able to see Blaine's bare chest. "You're already here."

Blaine heard his heart beat five times very loudly in his ears before he spoke again. He was too surprised to comprehend what Kurt said at first. "You sure?"

Kurt licked his lips and nodded slowly as if weighing out the possible consequences in his mind.

Blaine slid back over and laid back down. Kurt turned over in his side and Blaine cuddled close once more. He decided that he'd enjoy this, if only for just tonight because he may not get another chance.

"Blaine?" Kurt asked timidly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you like me?"

"Which way?" Blaine questioned, referring to the two parts of the questions they stated earlier.

"Any way."

"Yes." He paused. "I do."

Kurt wasn't sure what Blaine meant. "In which way?"

"All of them."

"Are you really afraid of the dark?"

"No."

Blaine couldn't see it, but Kurt smiled simply. Kurt closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Blaine."

"Goodnight, Kurt."

Kurt felt guilty for cuddling with Blaine in his bed, when Vin was alone in his own bed, in Vermont, trusting Kurt to be faithful, but he'd worry about that in the morning. Right now, he was in Blaine's arms and about to fall asleep. Sleep overtook both men at different times in the night, but Kurt fell asleep with the small smile on his face and thinking: _He likes me. Blaine Anderson has feelings for me._ The juvenile thought was thrilling and sent a tickling, shiver through his body. His arms grew goose bumps momentarily. It was the best night's sleep he'd gotten in months.

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><p><strong>Please Review!<strong>

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**

**And now we have a bit of Klaine :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Blaine inhaled deeply, knowing his body was waking up. He stretched without opening his eyes and rolled over onto his stomach. He reached his right arm over, remembering that Kurt was next to him, and moved his hand around randomly when he realized there wasn't a body in reach. Blaine opened his eyes, his head still mashed to the pillow, and saw that his mind hadn't deceived him. Kurt wasn't there. The left side of the bed was empty.

By the chill of the sheets on Kurt's side of the bed, Blaine could tell that Kurt had long since been next to him. He turned his head into the pillow and groaned before pushing himself up. He could smell the morning coffee and thought he heard music coming from outside the room. He got out of bed, stretched again, rubbed his eyes, and scratched his head. Blaine was about to open the door and see what Kurt was up to, but then started to wonder why Kurt was out of bed. Had he slept? Did he get up in the middle of the night and sleep on the couch? _Maybe it won't be weird. Maybe Kurt's just a morning person._ He thought, trying to stay positive. _But maybe it is weird and he feels guilty. What if I overstayed my welcome after only one night? I'm so stupid. That one move may have just ruined our friendship._ He rubbed his eyes again, then remembered, through his sleep addled mind, that Kurt wanted Blaine to stay in bed with him and never answered if he had feelings for Blaine. _He could have just said no, _he thought.

Either way, Blaine still had to leave the room. He took a deep breath and opened the door. He was right. Music was playing, but it wasn't from outside the room, it was coming from the kitchen. Blaine smiled at the sight he saw.

Kurt was dancing in place at the stove with a spatula in hand. He had already showered and gotten dressed. Now it appeared that he was cooking breakfast and singing along to some pop song that was on the radio.

Blaine stepped into the kitchen and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms and smiling. He waited until the song was over and then cleared his throat.

Kurt jumped about a foot, startled because he didn't know Blaine was there, or even awake. "Oh my God!" He covered his now racing heart. "Blaine you scared me." Blaine laughed. "H-how long were you standing there?"

"Long enough to see your Shakira impression."

Kurt sighed and turned the stove off, removing a pan and putting it on the table. "I made breakfast."

Blaine looked at the table, not surprised that he had missed the spread of food that Kurt had done because he was too busy seeing the presentation in front of him that was Kurt Hummel. Kurt had cut up fresh fruit, buttered English muffins, and made potato pancakes. It all smelled delicious. "Wow."

"I didn't have any ham, bacon, or sausage so…" insinuating he would have made one of those as well to add to their breakfast.

"No! Don't worry. This is wonderful. You didn't have to do this."

Kurt smiled and looked at the food. "You're a guest and I wanted to make you first morning welcome." For a moment they both stared at the food. "Oh! Sorry. Sit. Do you want juice, milk, water, coffee? We have a few different kinds of tea-"

"Uh," Blaine smiled and took a seat. "Coffee." He stood right back up. "You don't have to serve me."

Kurt turned back around. "No. Sit. Please, I'll get you coffee. You've served me before."

"Yeah, at Jericho's. It's my job."

"But I want to," Kurt insisted softly. "Sit. Please." Their eyes bore into one another's and Blaine slowly complied.

"You're not used to hearing no, are you?"

Kurt returned with a cup of coffee and put it in front of him. "Not from you, no."

Blaine smiled again. "Since the food is right in front of me, can I serve myself?"

Kurt chuckled a little and took a seat perpendicular to him. "Yes. By all means."

Blaine couldn't have been happier that this was the response that Kurt had to last night. It was comfortable and domestic. It wasn't awkward at all. Breakfast was mostly ate in silence, but the silent moments were Blaine's favorite. They'd steal glances at each other, swap petite smiles, and their hands would brush one another's when they both reached for the same thing. It was all so new, but it felt so right. The thought of Vin was looming in the back of Blaine's mind, but he didn't want to think about him at that moment. He just wanted to have what they were right at that moment because even if nothing ever came from this, he'd still have it. He glanced back over to Kurt when they were finished eating and saw Kurt staring at him. He paid particular notice to the fact that Kurt wasn't staring at his face. It took only a second to look down and realized that he still wasn't wearing a shirt. Kurt was looking over Blaine's bare skin.

Feeling very flattered and loving the appraisal, Blaine suddenly got nervous. "I feel like a bum," he confessed.

Kurt snapped out of his trance and fixed his eyes up to Blaine's face. "Why?"

"You are already showered, dressed, and ready for the day. I just woke up and am still in my pajama pants."

Kurt wanted to say that he wasn't complaining about the view from his end, but stopped himself. "If you want to shower, there are towels in the linen closet in the bathroom."

"I'll help you clean up first."

"No. Go ahead. I'll clean up."

"Really, Kurt, I want to help out."

"You can help out at a meal that's not your first one here."

"My first meal was last night."

"You're first home cooked meal," Kurt corrected.

Blaine couldn't believe Kurt was insistent upon this. He shook his head incredulously and grinned. "Fine, but if you don't let me help clean up next time and use the excuse that it's my first lunch or home cooked dinner here, I'll go find someplace else to stay."

Kurt smiled. "No you won't."

"No. Probably not. I was just hoping you'd beg me to stay."

Kurt didn't answer. He just turned up the corners of his mouth simply and looked sweetly into Blaine's eyes. "The shower has a tendency to get really hot really fast, then really cold, then it'll even itself out after a minute."

Blaine stood up. "Thanks." He fought the urge to kiss Kurt on the cheek. He really wanted to, but didn't.

Kurt was in his bedroom staring at his bed while Blaine was in the shower. Kurt had every intention of making it, which was why he was in his room to begin with. Instead all he could do was look at the unmade bed that he and Blaine slept in the entire night before. He felt conflicted because it felt so good to fall asleep in Blaine's arms and it was like a breath of fresh air to hear Blaine say that he had feelings for him. However, on the other hand, Kurt knew he had done something wrong. He wasn't sure if what he did was considered cheating, but he was positive that if he told Vin, he would be upset. So did that make it just as bad as if he cheated?

Which brought him back to staring at the bed. Making his bed would be like he was erasing any and all evidence that it ever happened, but leaving it untidy, the way it was, was a reminder of what his relationship with Vin has now become: messy. His unmade bed was a perfect symbol of what last night and this morning has done. The jumbled sheets represented both the entwined limbs of both Blaine and himself and how mixed up his feelings were now because he could without a doubt admit to himself now that he had feelings for both Vin and Blaine.

His phone rang. "Vin," Kurt read when the name flashed across his screen. He answered it. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Babe."

"I'm surprised to hear from you since we spoke to late last night."

"Oh, I just missed hearing your voice." Kurt could hear the smile in Vin's voice. "How was your night with Blaine?"

"Huh?" Kurt's immediate thought was: _How does he know?_

"Blaine spent the night at your apartment, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"How was it?"

Kurt quickly put the pieces together. Vin hadn't meant that Blaine spent the night in Kurt's bed, merely that Blaine was in the same living vicinity. "Oh. Fine. We had breakfast and now he's in the shower. I'm, um, getting ready to make my bed."

"I have today off."

"Any big plans?" Kurt pursed his lips and sat down on the mattress, though still kept his eyes on the side Blaine slept on.

"Nope. Packing some. Dinner with some friends tonight, but mostly I'll just be doing nothing around the house. It's been a while since I've been able to do that."

"Mm. It's nice isn't it?" Their bland chatter continued on until Vin said that he'd let Kurt get back to making his bed.

When Kurt pocketed his phone, he sat very still. He wasn't sure if it was best to pretend like nothing happened or be honest and tell Vin the truth. Vin seemed so happy. He could hear the relaxation and happiness in his voice. He couldn't ruin that. Vin deserved to be happy.

Blaine knocked on the door. "Come in," Kurt said absently.

Blaine opened the door. "Do you have any gel? I need to buy some today."

"On the vanity." Kurt was staring away from Blaine, almost into nothingness.

"Thanks." Blaine walked over to the vanity and into Kurt's line of vision.

Kurt's eyes focused and saw that Blaine's only source of covering was a towel around his waist. He still had beads of water on his body. Kurt gulped, his mouth suddenly going dry.

"I was wondering when this was going to happen," Blaine said playing the the bottle of gel.

"What?"

"You. I was wondering when you'd go back to being sad. I was hoping that it was me that was making you happy, but here I am; you're not happy anymore." Blaine looked as sad as Kurt did.

"N-no. I'm not- it's not you. I-" Kurt stood up and quickly went over to Blaine, trying to keep his eyes on Blaine's and not letting them wander. "You did, I mean, you do make me happy. I'm not sad." He thought carefully. What was he feeling exactly? "I'm guilty."

The realization set in with Blaine. "I see. Are you going to tell him?"

"No. I don't think so."

"That's probably best. You don't want to hurt him."

"That's the thing. I already have. He just doesn't know it."

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I shouldn't have put you in that position."

"No. Blaine, don't be sorry and don't misunderstand my guilt for regret." He delicately touched Blaine's entwined hands that were holding onto the bottle of gel. "I don't regret cuddling with you last night. It was… for lack of better terminology… it was special. So I don't regret it. But it doesn't change that it was…"

"Wrong?" Blaine finished.

Kurt turned his eyes down, shutting them gently. "Maybe. I don't know."

A glimmer of hope flickered in Blaine's chest. "What don't you know?"

"I mean, I know it was wrong, but…"

"But?"

"It… it felt right." There was a moment of silence and Kurt opened his eyes and looked back up at Blaine.

Blaine moved slowly, but he closed the distance between him and Kurt, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and tucking his head in the crooked of Kurt's neck. Kurt responded by instinctually enveloping Blaine's shoulders and resting his cheek on Blaine's head. "It felt right to me too," Blaine added.

"So, what do we do?"

Blaine took a deep breath. What he wanted to say was that he wanted to be with Kurt. He wanted Kurt to be his boyfriend and lover. He wanted to tell him everything he felt and how he knew it all along; how it took nothing for him to start falling for Kurt. He wanted to say all those things, but that's not what came out. "We will do whatever you want to do. It's up to you."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know. This is all so confusing."

"You don't need to make any decisions right this second."

"I don't want to lead you on."

"And you won't because now I know that you don't know what you want yet. You're not promising me anything."

Kurt squeezed Blaine tighter. He couldn't believe how selfless Blaine was being. He wasn't forcing himself onto Kurt or making him make a decision. "So, we're waiting and seeing?"

"Yeah, Kurt. We're waiting and seeing."

"I don't know how long we'll be waiting."

"You're worth the wait, Kurt."

Work that day was interesting because, while Kurt was submerged in his guilt, he also couldn't stop staring at Blaine when Blaine wasn't looking. He loved the way Blaine looked like he was in his own little world when he played the piano. If the music got louder, he threw himself into his fingers as he pounded down on the ivory keys. His face also mimicked the emotion of the music he was playing as well. If the song was meant to be romantic, he'd look like he was swooning, or if the song was devious, Blaine would bring his eyebrows together while making short clip movements.

Kurt never tired of positively scrutinizing the way Blaine looked when he smiled or laughed and even caught himself looking Blaine over from head to toe if he was standing up. Blaine maybe have been half a foot shorted than Kurt, but he was a pint sized hottie.

At lunch, Blaine felt like he was in high school again, swooning over a first crush because both he and Kurt kept catching one another looking at the other. When Kurt would look up and see Blaine staring, Blaine would smiling and quickly turn his head away, pretending their eyes locking was just a coincidence. The same went when Blaine caught Kurt staring. Only, when Kurt was caught, he also blushed, which made Blaine smile wider and want to embrace Kurt tightly.

They returned to Kurt's apartment to the smells of dinner wafting in the air. Puck had gone grocery shopping and was now cooking roast beef.

"That smells really good," Blaine commented.

"Where did you learn to cook this?" Kurt asked, a small smirk on his face.

"Food Network."

Kurt cocked an eyebrow up, still smirking. Clearly he was holding a comment back. He licked his lips. "You watch the Food Network?"

"Yeah. I also got a recipe for glazed donuts. I wanna try that some weekend." Puck caught the snickering look on Kurt's face. "What?"

"Nothing. Nothing," Kurt answered and went into the living room with Blaine following behind him.

While they waited for dinner to be ready, Kurt pretended to read a book while Blaine played around with his guitar. Kurt was actually continuously glancing up from his page and looking at Blaine as his master mind went to work on strumming out a tune. It was both attractive and fascinating to Kurt.

After dinner the three of them watched TV and then Puck went to his room. When it got even later, Kurt went to retrieve his extra bedding for Blaine. He helped Blaine put his bed together on the couch and the two sat down to watch another episode on TV. One episode turned into three and when it was well into the early morning hours, both realized that neither one of them wanted to leave the other's company, no matter how tired the other was.

Blaine hadn't been sure what was okay to do as he sat close to Kurt on the couch. Was he allowed to put his arm around Kurt? Was it okay to hold his hand or rest his hand on Kurt's knee? Was it even okay to touch Kurt? Kurt hadn't promised him anything and Blaine didn't want to push or cause any unnecessary angst that he already had. He saw Kurt's hand curved around his own knee as he sat with his legs in a pretzel style and Blaine settled for doing the same. They were sitting close enough that when Blaine put the curve of his hand on his knee, the backs of their hands touched.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kurt looked down at their touching skins and the corners of his mouth turned up. They stayed like that, feeling the temperature changing in each other's hands, for quite a while. When the time came and both of them were yawning, Kurt unfolded his legs and stood up.

"I think it's time for bed." He stretched.

Blaine unfolded his legs, but remained sitting. He just watched Kurt's actions. "Yeah. It's really late. You have a moisturizing routine, right?"

"I'm skipping it tonight."

"You are?"

"I'm too tired and skipping one night won't hurt me."

"Okay. Well… Goodnight."

Without saying a word, Kurt walked to his room and when he reached the door, he felt Blaine eyes on him. He turned back. "You coming?" he asked.

Blaine blinked, not believing Kurt was asking him to sleep with him again. He smiled and without saying anything, he turned the TV off and followed Kurt into his bedroom. Since they had gotten into their sleepwear hours ago, Kurt just turned down his bed and crawled in. Blaine followed Kurt's actions and slipped in next to him.

Nothing was being said, but everything just felt so comfortable, like it was supposed to be this way. They turned into each other and just looked at each other in the dark. Feeling braver, Blaine brought his hand up to cup Kurt's neck and his thumb brushed against Kurt's silken skin. His heart fluttered when he saw the tiniest of smiles while Kurt's eyes slowly blinked themselves closed. He slipped his hand off of Kurt's neck and when he brought his hand back down to the mattress, he felt Kurt's hand slip into his and entwine his fingers.

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><p>I didn't spend a whole lot of time editing this, so I'm hoping it's okay.<p>

Please Review!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Kurt barely saw much of Blaine on Friday and Saturday night because Blaine had to work at Jericho and Kurt thought about going with Blaine and just hanging out while he worked, but decided that it might be too much. It was one thing to include Blaine's name in his daily conversations to Vin, but it was quite another to make it sound like he purposely spent all of his time with him. That wouldn't have gone over so well, nor would it help Kurt's guilt that each night, Blaine was crawling into bed with Kurt. It had only made it worse that he not only wanted Blaine there with his arms around him, but he was growing to expect it. They made the couch up every night as if Blaine were going to sleep there, but Kurt thought that his insisting upon doing so was more for Puck. He knew Puck must have known Blaine never slept there, but in Kurt's mind, the allusion was enough for him.

By Monday, both Kurt and Blaine had the day off because the theater was closed on this day. Kurt got a call from one of the schools he interviewed at and offered him a job. Blaine was in the shower when he got the call. The first thing he did was call Vin. He was so excited he was practically vibrating.

"I got it!" he squealed. "I got the job!"

"Oh my God, Kurt, Baby, that's so great! I'm so proud of you!"

"I got the one I wanted too. The Harvey Milk School."

"Oh, Kurt, I'm so happy. That's so fantastic." Vin made a sound that made Kurt's heart expand even more. "It's really happening, isn't it? Us. Our life together. We'll be starting our life together with a home and careers. How did I get so lucky to find you? I'm so proud of you and of us."

This is where Kurt started to come down from his high because he remembered that if Vin really knew what Kurt had been up to, he wouldn't be so proud. The truth was that Vin wasn't the lucky one, Kurt was. Kurt felt that he was lucky to have someone who believed in him and saw nothing, but the best despite his ignorant bliss. "We'll have to celibrate when you get here."

"Of course! Baby, I'm going to take you out to whatever restaurant you want to, we'll go dancing, and I'll make it the most romantic night you've ever had." Flashes of Blaine's graduation dinner for Kurt went through his brain for a second.

"Can't wait."

"I miss you. I wish I was there to congratulate you properly."

"I miss you too." Kurt heard the bathroom door open. "Vin, Sweetheart, I got to go."

"Okay. Thanks for telling me the great news. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you."

"Have a great day. Celebrate. Call me later."

"I will."

"I love you."

"Love you too." Kurt hung up the phone and turned to see Blaine standing in the doorway of the living room. He was looking at Kurt.

They stood staring for a few moments because Kurt knew that Blaine heard the last part of the conversation and it made him feel guilty. He didn't know if he'd ever stop feeling guilty, but he couldn't bring himself to tell Vin the truth and he couldn't bare to let go of either one at the moment. Whatever this thing with Blaine was, it had no promises and Blaine knew where he stood, but that didn't make it any easier for Kurt because he tried and tried to not make Blaine feel strung along.

"Was that your Dad?" Blaine asked. There was a hint of hope in his voice, but both of them knew the truth.

"No."

"Vin?"

"Yes." There was a pause. "Blaine I'm-"

"You don't have to apologize. He's your boyfriend. You should tell him that you love him." Blaine lowered his head and scratched behind his ear. Kurt now noticed that Blaine was only wearing a towel and his hair was even more curly when wet. He was gorgeous. "You could have lied to me."

"I know."

"Why didn't you?"

Kurt knew the answer, but let the silence hang in the air for half a minute. "I'm already lying to one man I care about. I don't want to lie to the other." Kurt put his phone on the coffee table and walked around the couch to stand in front of Blaine. He got much too closed to him and put his hand on Blaine's water speckled shoulder. "I don't ever want to lie to you."

Blaine nodded his head. His eyes closed for only a second before looking Kurt in his eyes, but Kurt could tell that this bothered Blaine. "Okay," he said simply. They left it at that and Blaine went into Kurt's room to get dressed.

Kurt wondered how long this charade he was putting on would last. There was a side of him that wished it never began, but another side of him that thought that there was no way to avoid it happening. He would have still been at Jericho that night. He would have still fell for Vin, if only in the way he did fall for him, and he still would have developed feelings for Blaine. There was nothing he felt he could have done differently because he didn't want to hurt Vin, but didn't know how to stop what was happening between him and Blaine. He also didn't know how to tell Vin and when the time came to choose between the two, he didn't know which one to choose. If he knew for a fact which one he wanted, he felt that he would have made that decision by now.

Over breakfast, Kurt told Blaine about his job offer, that he happily took, and Blaine pretty much had the same reaction Vin did. Blaine acted overly happy for him and wanted to take Kurt out as a congratulations. There were errands that had to be run, but they settled on something simple to do in the evening because it was exactly what Kurt wanted. There was a lot of excitement lately and the simplicity of dinner and a movie was very enticing.

They took the train out of Hells Kitchen to the closest movie theater, which happened to be only be two miles from where Kurt lived. Nearby the theater, they ate at a diner and commented on how beautiful a spring evening it was. They went to a comedy and when the movie finished, Blaine couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face when he saw how peaceful and happy Kurt looked. "You're apartment is only a couple miles from here, right?"

"Mmhmm," Kurt hummed with his eyes closed and chin lifted in the air.

"Why don't we walk?"

Kurt opened his eyes and looked at Blaine almost disbelievingly. Two miles would take well over an hour, almost two, to walk, but Blaine looked so cute with his confident smile and puppy dog eyes that Kurt agreed. It was a beautiful night.

They barely made it a few more yards before Blaine dared reach over and laced his fingers in Kurt's hand. Kurt looked down at their interlocked fingers and pushed his guilt down for the moment. He could enjoy holding Blaine's hand on a walk home on a spring evening once. So he looked up to his left at Blaine and playfully swung their arms to show Blaine it was okay and that his efforts were accepted.

The walk took about an hour and forty minutes. They had taken their time, not in any rush to get back to Kurt's cramped apartment and stopped to pick up a bottle of wine. When they arrived, both were tired and Blaine went to go pour them each a glass. Kurt, plopped himself on the couch.

Blaine stopped behind the couch with a glass in each hand and saw Kurt lying down with his hands covering his face. He was tired. Neither one would say that walking home was a bad idea because it was a nice touch to the evening, but even Blaine had to admit that his feet were a little sore. He walked around the couch and put the glasses on the coffee table. Kurt removed his hands at the sound of the glasses clinking on the table and looked up at Blaine. He moved his feet so Blaine could sit, but Blaine just lifted Kurt's feet back into his lap.

He removed both of Kurt's socks and looked at him adoringly as he began to knead the tender parts of Kurt's sole. Kurt dropped his head back onto the through pillow and moaned at the touch. Blaine's fingers felt so good pressing against the ball of his foot. He gulped and moaned again. "That feels really good."

"I'm glad." Blaine dug his thumb into the tender muscle and watched Kurt's face as he moaned again. He had to admit to himself that the sounds coming out of Kurt's mouth were turning him on. If the sounds Kurt were making now were any indication of what he sounded like while in the throws of passion, Blaine was sure he could reach climax by just listening.

Kurt's phone rang and he groaned at the sound. He turned his head towards the noise on the table and plucked the phone off of it. He attempted to take his foot back so he could sit up, but Blaine playfully pulled it back in place. Kurt laughed and answered the phone without looking to see who it was. "Hello?" He asked with a chuckle in his voice.

"Baby," Vin greeted from the other end.

Kurt fought Blaine so he could sit up, but Blaine was insistent upon his game and it only made Kurt try to hold in laughter and shoot him wide eyed looks. "Hi!" He said excitedly because he couldn't manage another emotion at the time.

"You sound happy."

"I am. I'm talking to you." He gave one final shove of his foot and ended up kicking Blaine straight in the stomach. It knocked the wind out of Blaine and he let go of Kurt's foot. Kurt hurriedly stood up and crouched in front of Blaine, feeling sorry for accidentally hurting him. _Are you okay?_ he mouthed.

Blaine nodded and Kurt walked into his bed room, trailing his freehand across Blaine's shoulders as he went past him. He finished his conversation in his room. He told Vin about the errands he and Blaine ran, the movie they saw, and their walk home on account of the beautiful night. He left out the handholding and the foot massage part. He glanced at the clock in his room and wondered where Puck was. He was almost always home by now. When the call ended, Kurt went into his closet and retrieved the linens for the couch that he was certain that would go unused again.

Kurt only saw the top of Blaine's head when he came out of his room. He dropped the linens on Blaine's lap and saw that Blaine had a book in front of his face. "What's that?" he asked.

"The book to the musical we help put on every night."

"Seriously? I didn't know you had a copy."

"I don't. One of the cast members lent it to me." Blaine looked up from the script. "Wanna read it with me? We can run the lines."

Kurt smiled. "Sure."

Blaine sat up, putting the sheets on the floor and Kurt sat close so they could share the book.

Blaine was already half way into the script and was at a scene that was run by the two romantic leads: Polly and Robert. "Um. I'll be…"

Kurt laughed. "Relax. You can be Robert. It wouldn't be the first time I read something that was meant for a female. I made my living off of singing women's songs in high school."

Blaine cleared his throat. "Where are you going?"

"Home. The others have left and I-"

"Please stay."

"What?"

"I wish you'd stay. It's such a nice night out and you are more beautiful than any star in the sky above us."

Kurt paused as the actress who played Polly on stage did for dramatic effect. "Well, I… maybe I can stay a little while longer."

"I meant it, you know."

"Meant what?"

"You. You're beautiful."

Kurt had barely seen the director's note that read: Robert kissed Polly on the cheek, before he felt the soft warmth of Blaine's lips on his face. Blaine did just as the play called for, a kiss on the cheek. It wasn't just a kiss though. It wasn't a peck or a thin lipped kiss you'd use to kiss a relative. It was a full lipped, soft kiss to Kurt's skin. He quickly turned his head and stared at Blaine in shock.

Blaine swallowed hard and his eyes bore into Kurt's, searching for a sign that what he did was somehow okay. Both of their hearts were racing and their breathing was heavy, but it wasn't long before Kurt leaned forward and pressed his lips to Blaine's hard.

Blaine accepted the kiss instantly because it was everything he'd wanted since the day he met Kurt. Kurt was still pushing his weight forward. One of Blaine's hands sprung to Kurt's cheek and the other was helping him scoot back on the couch. Kurt moved with him and ended up lying on top of Blaine. They continued to kiss each other fervently like it was their life source. Their legs entwined with each other and Blaine pulled Kurt closer, closer, closer.

Kurt mewled under Blaine's touch and kisses. He tasted like the wine he had just drank and Kurt was positive that he was becoming drunk off Blaine's kisses. Blaine's lips were full and soft and his tongue was gentle and inviting. The smell of his cologne wafted into his nostrils and it was just one more thing that was setting his body on fire. Blaine felt so good beneath him and his roaming hand stroking up and down Kurt's back, which then pulled Kurt harder to him. The way Blaine's lips moved against Kurt's was making it harder to want to stop. Kurt didn't want to stop. He wanted to keep kissing Blaine. He wanted the feeling of his lips on Blaine's and wanted Blaine's hands all over him.

The sound of keys in a door lock registered in Kurt's head and it brought him back to reality. A reality where he still had a boyfriend, who was in Vermont pining for him and a reality where he had officially become a cheater. He bolted up off the couch and Blaine. Kurt stared down at Blaine with his hand over is kiss swollen lips. Kurt looked terrified and just so scared at what he'd done.

Blaine sat up quickly, looking at Kurt with an expression that was trying to make him feel like they'd done nothing wrong, even though they'd done a big wrong. The apartment door opened. Blaine began to plead, seeing Kurt's face and body. He was visibly shutting himself down. "Kurt, I'm-"

"I'm sorry," Kurt choked out and ran into his room, shutting the door loudly behind him. Blaine just stared at the shut door from over his shoulder.

Puck walked into the living room and surveyed the scene. "Everything okay?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah, Puck. Everything's fine."

The way Blaine didn't stop looking at Kurt's door and the tone in his voice told Puck that everything wasn't fine, but he didn't want to pry so he just went about his business.

Kurt didn't come out of his room. Blaine tried to knock on Kurt's door, but Kurt didn't answer, so he left him alone. Instead he went back to the couch and started to spread the blankets and sheets over the couch the way he and Kurt did every other night. It was the first night since Blaine arrived that he made the couch up as a bed alone and actually slept in it.

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><p><strong>I know this took far too long to get out to you guys, but if you saw my life this week, you'd understand. :( Please forgive me. I can at least promise you another update tomorrow because it's almost done. :)<strong>

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Kurt couldn't sleep. He saw the clock. It read 3:34 AM. He tried to believe that the kiss didn't happen and when he couldn't convince himself, he got angry that he'd done such a selfish thing to both Blaine and Vin. He tried to justify his actions. When he couldn't, he cried because he didn't know what to do, who to choose, or how to make it all better. He felt like a child, ignoring the world and crying in his bed because he had done something very wrong to people he cared about. He knew it was all his fault and didn't know how it came to him becoming a cheater. Now it was in the early hours of the morning and he had finally begun to see what he did. He kissed Blaine.

He kissed Blaine and liked it. What was more than that was that Kurt wanted it. He _wanted_ to kiss Blaine and _wanted_ to feel his lips and his hands all over his body. By his own justification, Kurt subconsciously intended to cheat on Vin. He tried to deny it and say that it was an accident, but went back to how he'd been acting with Blaine since the first night he stayed. Hadn't he been cheating on Vin all along emotionally? Hadn't he been leading Blaine up to this? He let Blaine sleep with his arms around Kurt every night, they spend every waking minute together, they held hands, and they made sweet faces at each other. Wasn't that cheating too?

Kurt smothered himself with a pillowed and groaned into it. _What am I doing?_ he thought. _What have I gotten myself into?_ He never imagined himself to ever cheat on someone. Above all people, Vin. Vin loved him and treated him better than another other guy he'd ever dated or been in a relationship with. _How could I do that to Vin? How could I do that to Blaine?_ He was at a loss and didn't know where to go from where he was at that moment.

He got out of bed and cracked the door open. He listened for Blaine's breathing and when he thought Blaine was asleep, he tip-toed into the kitchen silently and started boiling some water in a kettle. When he heard footsteps behind him, he prayed to whatever higher power there was that Puck was behind him. When he turned around, he found himself staring at Blaine.

There were no words for what was happening between them at that moment. There was only silence and their locked eyes. The whistle from the kettle broke their connection and Kurt took the kettle off the stove burner. "I'm making tea," he stated quietly. When Blaine didn't say anything in response Kurt added, "Do you want some?"

"Sure."

Kurt nodded and went to the cupboard to grab two mugs and two bags of tea. When he turned for the water, he saw Blaine pulling out a bowl of sliced lemons from the fridge that Kurt had cut up the night before this. He gently handed it to Kurt with melancholy eyes.

Kurt's heart skipped and he felt his throat closing up and a lump rising in it at the same time. "You know I like lemon in my tea." Blaine nodded. "I don't think Vin knows I like lemon in my tea."

"One slice of lemon, two sugars. You also blow on it one really long time before taking your first sip. You always make a face after the first sip that says it's too hot, but you drink it anyway." Kurt looked down at the bowl in his hands, feeling ashamed. "I also know that you only drink tea when you're stressed out or sick."

"You learned all that from staying half a week with me?"

Blaine didn't know how to take the question asked of him so he took the kettle off the stove and brought it over to the two mugs Kurt set out. He poured the hot water into the mugs and watched the water instantly turn color. He put the kettle back on the stove and Kurt caught Blaine's wrist on his way back to his mug.

"Why do you put so much effort into you and me?"

"You know why."

"I need to hear it."

"First, I need to correct you. I don't put any effort into you and me. Whatever I do, it's effortless for me. Everything with you is a natural action and progression. The only things that take effort to do are the things I hold back from doing for your sake."

Kurt put the bowl on the counter. "And second?"

"I can't help the way I feel about you. I know you have a boyfriend and I know you care about him and want to be with him, but I also know that you're conflicted and a part of you wants to be with me too. I'm not flirting with you or trying to be romantic with you because I'm trying to win you over. I'm not holding you while you sleep every night with the knowledge of how Vin would feel on my mind. I'm doing those things because I can't stop myself. I know this hurts you and I know you don't want to hurt Vin. I don't want to hurt him either, but I just can't stop feeling what I do for you." Blaine got closer to Kurt and put his hand on Kurt's cheek. He still wasn't looking at Blaine. "I'm crazy about you. You're all I think about. Don't you know that?"

Kurt finally brought his eyes up. He touched the hand that cupped his cheek. "I don't want to hurt either one of you. There is no outcome where one or both of you come out of this unscathed."

"I know. But there is also no outcome that will ever make me want to stop kissing you."

Kurt gulped. He felt that feeling again. The one he felt before he kissed Blaine earlier that night. He wanted to kiss him again. In that moment he knew that he didn't want to stop kissing Blaine either. "Blaine…" he whispered.

"I know you don't mean to hurt either of us, but I know you want me too. I can feel it. Sometimes I do feel a little strung along, but I know you don't mean it and it's just as hard for you to hold yourself back as it is for me. I can see how much this is hurting you. If I were any kind of bigger man I'd be able to walk away from this and just let you be, but I can't. There is no amount of willing myself away from you that would work." Blaine knew Kurt couldn't come out with everything he was thinking and feeling. It was obvious how much Kurt was conflicted and tortured inside, so he filled in the blanks for him. "I know exactly what this is that we're doing. It's not exactly the right thing and it's not a normal way to go about things, but it is what it is. I know in retrospect it seems easy to solve because all you have to do is pick one of us, but it's not that simple. We both care about you. You care about both of us. You can choose the guy who loves you blindly and unconditionally, or you can choose the one who knows all your secrets and adores you because and in spite of all of them." Blaine knew he sort of made himself sound better in his comparison, but what else could he do? He wanted Kurt end up being his.

"I don't know what to do," Kurt choked out, his voice hoarse and his eyes puffy. "I feel like I'm weak because I can't make a choice. I know that's really selfish of me because I'm keeping you at arms length then pulling you in and pushing you out again just as quickly. It's isn't fair to you or Vin. I'm weak."

"Maybe, but I don't care because I can wait. Maybe I'm a little weak too because I can't stay away." Kurt didn't add anything. "We're both slaves to how we feel." Kurt nodded, but still didn't say anything. "You don't have to choose right now, but you'll have to choose sometime."

"I'm s-so sorry, Blaine." His eyes welled up. "I-I don't-"

"Shh. It's okay. You may not think it is, but for me… I'm okay."

"You shouldn't have to be okay with being the one waiting in the wings."

"I know… but for now… I am okay with it. It won't last, but, right now, I can handle being you're dirty little secret."

"Don't say that about yourself."

"But it's what I am. You said you don't want to lie to me. So let's be honest about what this is. You're cheating on your boyfriend with me." Kurt stayed silent. "Say it. It may not be easy, but it'll be easier if you and I are on the same page about what we're doing."

Kurt bit his lip and looked down at his feet, ashamed. "I'm cheating on my boyfriend with you."

"What else?"

"I'm lying to my boyfriend and it scares me how easy it's becoming to do so."

"And?"

"And you're right about everything. I do want you too. When I'm not thinking about how awful I feel for what I'm doing behind Vin's back, I can't stop thinking about you. I've always been the kind of person who would rather hear the truth than any lie anyone could spin. Then I became that. I lie to Vin and I lie to myself."

Blaine cocked his head to the side a little. Kurt knew this was a precursor to Blaine's adorable curious face. "How are you lying to yourself?"

"I told myself that since I hadn't kissed you, I hadn't cheated on Vin, but, emotionally, I've been cheating on him since I realized I might have feelings for you. Then tonight… I tried to convince myself that I didn't want to kiss you again. I know I shouldn't."

"But?"

"But I want to." Kurt was staring at Blaine's lips now. He could feel his heart beating hard in his chest.

Blaine stepped closer. He was impossibly close. Kurt could feel Blaine's breath on his lips and through the dim light in the kitchen, he could see his eyes, shining like warm caramel.

Blaine softly slipped his hand onto Kurt's slender waist. He swallowed audibly.

"What are we doing?" Kurt asked softly. It was barely a whisper.

"What we've been doing: having an affair." Blaine leaned in slightly and when he was about to connect to Kurt's lips, Kurt turned his head away and looked down.

"We-I c-"

"We can. We already are. We never said any of this was morally right," Blaine closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against Kurt's turned face. His lips were against Kurt's neck as he continued to speak, "just that we couldn't help what we want and how we feel."

Kurt could feel Blaine's lips on his neck and Blaine's hands on his waist. What little strength he had to stop whatever was happening was dissolving. He knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't, but he wanted it so badly. He wanted Blaine's lips on him. He exhaled deeply and a soft moan escaped accidentally.

"Tell me to stop and I'll stop." Blaine dragged his lips up Kurt's neck in a caress. He stopped at his ear. Kurt moaned gently again. "Do you want me to stop?" He wrapped his hands around Kurt more and tighter.

Kurt was able to feel every nerve ending in his own body. He exhaled and his will broke. "No. No, don't stop." He quickly turned his head, capturing Blaine's lips between his own, moaning and pushing Blaine back into the counter.

A moan escaped Blaine's throat and turned him and Kurt so that Kurt was against the counter and lifted him onto it. Kurt wrapped his legs around Blaine, locking his ankles together. Blaine's tongue slipped past his lips and into Kurt's mouth. He tangled it with Kurt's and took it back. Kurt followed Blaine's tongue with his own into Blaine's mouth.

Blaine's hands slid down Kurt's back and grabbed his ass, pulling him closer to flush their bodies together.

Kurt's heart was beating hard and he moaned, welcoming the pressure. He only broke his lips away from Blaine's long enough to grasp at the shirt on Blaine's back. "Take you're shirt off," he demanded. "I need to feel you." Blaine complied instantly and pulled the shirt over his head. After days of seeing Blaine shirtless, he was aching to finally be able to touch him. Their lips connected once more and Kurt slid his hands around Blaine's broad shoulders and back. He felt amazing.

Blaine started tugging at Kurt's shirt and Kurt helped Blaine rip it off him from over his head. Kurt went to lean back down, but Blaine stopped him momentarily. He was looking Kurt's chest, arms, and stomach over. He swallowed and ran a hand up from the bottom of Kurt's stomach to the top of his neck. "You're beautiful." Their lips met once more and their kisses became more tender and sweet.

Blaine held onto Kurt and slid him off the counter. Kurt's lips moved to Blaine's neck and Blaine carried Kurt to the couch. He sat down with Kurt still straddling his hips and moaned. Kurt had found Blaine's weak spot on his collar and was sucking on it.

Kurt probed a soft spot on Blaine's collar bone with his tongue and bite gently at the skin. He loved the sounds that were coming from Blaine. He was focused so much on what he was doing, it came as a surprise when he felt Blaine undulating beneath him, his hardness pressing against him.

"Uhng!" Blaine moaned again. "I want you so bad."

Kurt stopped abruptly and pulled the upper half of his body back. "What?"

Blaine looked both stunned and a little confused because Kurt hadn't given any indication that he wanted to stop. "Oh! I-"

"No. It's okay. I-"

"Kurt, I'm sorry-" Both men were out of breath.

"Don't be. I was-"

"We don't have to. I just-"

"It's my fault. I-"

"No. It's not a problem-"

"I'm sorry." Kurt started to scramble to get off Blaine and run back into his room again to shut himself away.

"Wait! Stop. Hold on." Blaine pleaded as he fought to keep Kurt where he was. He was able to keep Kurt in place on his lap and looked him in the eyes. "Just stop for a second. I don't want you to run away from me."

"But, I-"

"Shh!" Blaine put two fingers over Kurt's lips. "You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who was rushing. It's just, you're such a good kisser and the way you touched my skin was such a turn on. And, god, the sounds you make… I could get off on those alone." He added a little smile and enthusiasm in his voice to try to lighten the mood.

Blaine's efforts worked because Kurt smiled a half smile back. He was flattered by the compliment. "I've been waiting to touch you since I saw you in a towel."

Blaine's eyes glistened. "I've been waiting to touch you since the second I met you."

Kurt dipped his head back and yawned, remembered what time it was. "Have you been able to sleep at all?"

"Some. Not much."

"That's more than me. Will come back to bed with me?"

It was Blaine's turn to yawn. "I think we should pick up our shirts first."

Kurt smiled and started to crawl off Blaine again. He picked up their shirts while Blaine picked up the unused tea and lemons. They crawled into Kurt's bed and Kurt curled up against Blaine's chest. They gave each other little kisses here and there until sleep finally found them.

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><p>Please review!<p>

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

By Thursday, Kurt and Blaine were having a hard time keeping their lips off each other. They often found themselves making out on the couch in the living room of Kurt's apartment and the second their heard noise, they'd break apart instantly in fear Puck would catch them. Kurt wasn't sure why he didn't want Puck knowing. Maybe it was because he didn't want the disapproving looks or comments. Kurt didn't want to feel any more worse about his affair with Blaine than he already did. He wondered if that were even possible.

Blaine commented once that it had been a very long time since he had to split apart from someone because someone might catch them. "I think the last time was in high school when a friend came over for a long weekend from school." They both laughed and Kurt shared that he had never had the experience because he didn't start dating until college.

At night they cuddled close, wearing only pajama pants. Often times one was resting on the other's chest as they spoke. They talked about everything. They swapped stories of what it was like when they lost their virginity, but didn't divulge their number of partners. Kurt didn't offer his number because it was so small and he didn't want Blaine to think he was inexperienced. Blaine didn't come close to saying his number because he didn't want Kurt to think he was a whore, which he once was, but that was beside the point.

Blaine talked about his family and asked more questions about Kurt's. Kurt asked about Blaine's brother who acted in commercials and talked about his mother and how she died when he was eight.

They talked about competing against each other in show choir and couldn't believe that they'd been on the same stage before and could have met years ago. Everything and anything was on the table for discussion. They laughed and every now and then Kurt would become introverted and his guilt would creep up on him, but Blaine found ways of pulling Kurt out of it. In the end Blaine just decided, "When you're with me, you're with me. When you're talking to him, you're his. Think of it like you're living a dual life. You're one person when you're with me and another when you're with him."

Kurt licked his lips and thought deeply. "You mean you want me to forget that this is wrong?"

"Yes." When Kurt didn't respond, Blaine took it upon himself to show Kurt another example. He kissed him softly and rolled him over so that he was lying on top of him. He nibbled behind his ear and nuzzled his neck. "Does this feel wrong?"

"Mmnn," Kurt moaned gently. "No."

Blaine lifted his head slowly and place another kiss on Kurt's lips. "Then it should be easy to forget that cheating on Vin is wrong. All you have to do, when you're with me, is remember this feeling and know how right it feels."

"How it feels doesn't change that fact that it _is_ wrong."

"Can you just pretend that we can have a relaxing time in bed without bringing up how awful your infidelity is?"

Kurt rolled his eyes and tilted his head away from Blaine. "Because _that_ makes it so much easier to forget," he said sarcastically.

Blaine smirked and repositioned himself. His arms were now underneath Kurt's shoulders. "Oh come on. I was kidding. You're not an awful person."

"Yes I am."

"Kiss me."

"No," Kurt stated with a grin.

"Yes. Kiss me." He puckered his lips.

Kurt turned his head away again. "Nope. You said I was an awful person."

Blaine pulled himself up a little and nuzzled Kurt's neck, knowing by now that it was a weak spot for him. "No, _you_ said you were an awful person. I said you weren't." He started peppering small pecks up and down his neck. "Kiss me." No answer. "Kiss me or I'll keep doing this."

"That's not a threat."

"The threat is that I'll make you like it so much you'll never want to leave this bed."

Kurt stretched underneath Blaine and made a groaning, morning tired noise. "Done," Kurt said with a smile. No sooner than that, Blaine put his lips softly to Kurt's, and Kurt's cell rang from the bed side table. Blaine groaned and continued to kiss down Kurt's neck as Kurt reached for his phone.

His heart still raced whenever he saw Vin's name on the screen for stupid reasons like: What if he can hear Blaine breathing? It was like getting caught when no one was there to walk in. He showed his phone to Blaine and Blaine rolled his eyes and rolled off Kurt.

Kurt cleared his throat and answered the phone "Hello? No. I'm awake."

Blaine got off the bed and stretched. He scratched his head and rubbed his eyes before grabbing his pajama pants off the floor. He slept in his boxers last night just to see Kurt's face when he slid off his pants. Kurt's expression of stunned silence and arousal was well worth the action. He left the room as quietly as possible and went to the bathroom to give Kurt his privacy on the phone.

He took a shower and Kurt was still on the phone when he got out, so he ate a bowl of cereal and laid down on the couch, turning the TV on. His clothes were in Kurt's room, so he did all this in his towel.

By the time Kurt came out of his room, he had been on the phone with Vin for over an hour and a half. That was much longer than normal. He came looking wide awake now, but not entirely as happy as he was when the phone rang. He sat down on the end of the couch.

Blaine was only slightly sad that Kurt didn't stare like he usually did at the sight of Blaine in a towel. He got over it when he saw Kurt's face. Since their agreement to not discuss things about Vin, Kurt didn't offer anything, but Blaine felt bad that Kurt was sad again so he broke the rule. "Okay, what's the matter?"

Kurt looked over at Blaine and gave him a look. "I thought you didn't want to hear about my conversations with him?"

"Yeah, but you're clearly upset. What's wrong?" For a second, the thought that Kurt might have broken up with Vin popped into his head.

"I'm not upset. I feel pressured. This is my annoyed face." Kurt circled his face with his index finger and Blaine grinned.

He was secretly happy that Kurt was annoyed after a conversation with Vin. "Why?"

"Vin's mother is having a surprise birthday party. She's turning sixty."

"Sixty? Really? How old is Vin?"

"He's the baby of five kids. She had him when she was in her thirties."

"So… you're annoyed that she's turning sixty?" Blaine nudged Kurt playfully with his foot. His upper thigh was now visible through the slit in the towel.

Kurt didn't notice. He was inside his own head. "No. I'm annoyed because Vin wants me to go with him to the party and meet his _very _disapproving family and I don't want to go. I mean, it's her _birthday_. Think about it. What's he supposed to say? 'Hi, Mom. Happy birthday. You know how you hate that I'm gay and think I'm going to burn in hell? Well, here's my boyfriend. We're fucking and I'm moving in with him. Yep, I'm still gay and still your least favorite son because of it. Hope you like him!' Yeah. That'll be an awesome birthday present for her; her gay son bring over the guy he's having gay sex with."

"I doubt he'd say that."

"It doesn't matter. That's all they're going to hear. I could be telling them that I have my Master's Degree from NYU and my father is a congressman, and all they're going to hear is: Fuck my ass. Suck my dick. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

Blaine laughed out loud. "Now, if only everyone's parents were like yours, we'd have a peaceful country."

"At least a more accepting one."

"What did he say when you told him no?" The moment Blaine said it, he realized that Kurt never told him he wasn't going. It suddenly bothered him to think of Kurt with Vin and Vin's family, no matter how disapproving they might be.

"He wasn't happy." Blaine almost sighed in relief. "Then we argued over it and he kept saying that he doesn't want me there just to have someone to go with. He said that he wanted me there as support for him because he wanted to show his family that he's happy and there's nothing different about his life than there's except that he's with another man."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him I was uncomfortable with the idea because a _birthday_ isn't the day to be making a point to a stubborn parent."

"So you're not going?"

"No. I am." Kurt turned away and sat back on the couch with his arms crossed on his chest.

"But you don't want to." Blaine sat up and re-covered himself with his towel. "Is he making you?"

"No. He's guilting me into it. I feel bad, so I'm going."

"What do you feel bad about? You don't think it's appropriate for you to be there, so you should stick to what you think is right."

"He wants the support."

"At the expense of your uncomfortability."

"He thinks I don't want to meet his family. Out of the couple times I've been to Vermont, I've never met his family. Not that those times have anything to do with me not wanting to. I just never have. He thinks I'm avoiding them. Then he jumped to thinking this was about him and maybe I didn't want to meet his family because I don't want him to meet mine."

"It it true?"

"No. He's met my brother."

"But not your parents?"

"No. He just doesn't get it. I'd meet them, just not at a surprise party for his mother. Hell, I'd be willing to set up a family vacation with my parents to meet his in Vermont."

Blaine looked down at his feet. Not for any reason in particular. He just didn't want to look at Kurt while he was thinking about how much he didn't want Kurt to go. That was the moment Kurt chose to look over at Blaine. "What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing." Blaine started absently rubbing his leg hair at the bottom of his right leg.

"No. It's never nothing. What's on your mind?" No answer. "Oh. Something I said upset you, didn't it? Damn it. Blaine, I knew you didn't want to hear about my phone conversation." Kurt sighed and felt bad again.

"No! It's not that. It's just. Well… you'd be willing to set up a meeting of your and his parents when you aren't sure if you want to be with him?" The thought bothered Blaine more than he wanted it to. Vin was Kurt's boyfriend and it shouldn't bother him because Vin, by his very title, comes first. The boyfriend comes before the guy you're having an affair with.

Kurt stared at him with an open mouthed expression. "I, uh… I guess I wasn't really thinking when I said that. You're right. I shouldn't do that."

"You mean, you weren't factoring me into the situation. It's okay, Kurt. It's tough, but it's honest."

"It's just that this thing with you and me is still new and it still kind of feels like we're friends most of the time… who make out and flirt with each other."

Blaine licked his lips and gave Kurt a little smile. He thought the comment was a little funny. "I guess that's a good thing? Kind of?"

"What do you mean?"

"My brother, Cooper, is married to a girl whom he's known since they were kids. They didn't start dating until, like a four years ago, or something, and they got married last year, but he says he's married to his best friend. He said that he likes that he went for his best friend instead of some other chick because they have no secrets between each other because she's known him almost their entire lives. My parents say that when you find someone you want to marry, it doesn't come down to what they look like or how much money they make. It comes down to: can you see yourself wanting to spend every day with this person. Cooper said that marrying his best friend was the best choice he's ever made. Who better to spend the rest of your life with than someone you can consider, not just your significant other, but your friend?"

Kurt bit his lip. "Not that I don't think that's an amazing point and the right thing to do, I just don't really want to talk about marriage."

"Oh my god! You thought- Shit. Babe, I didn't mean-"

"Babe?"

Both men went silent. "Sorry," Blaine confessed. "It just slipped out."

"It's okay. Really. It- I just didn't see that coming."

"Yeah," Blaine said slowly, embarrassed. "Maybe I'm a bit too comfortable with the idea of us, when you're not even sure what you want?" It came out as a question.

"Maybe I'm just getting better at separating what I do with you and what I do with him better than I thought. Look, Blaine. I'm sorry. I know I keep apologizing and you keep telling me to stop apologizing, but I mean it. I don't know what I'm doing. It feels natural to be with you and do what we're doing, but I can't deny that I really have feelings for Vin. I… I love him… in my own way. And I know it seems that if I really loved him, then I wouldn't be doing this with you, but I can't stop coming back to the thought that he was supposed to be you."

"So, if I was there, at Jericho, that night you met Vin, you think you would have ended up with me?"

"I don't know. I mean, maybe. I know I went there looking for you because I was interested and attracted. I didn't know if you were into me, but you admitted to flirting with me and coffee was so great when you randomly showed up there, I thought… maybe." Kurt was talking really fast and curling in on himself, not sure if what he was saying was coming out the right way.

"I was… into you." Blaine blushed and turned his head down to itch behind his head as an excuse to hide his face. "I, uh… I actually went toothuckuffay" he muffled the last part of his sentence."

"What?" Kurt leaned in a little. He didn't catch the last part.

Blaine took a deep breath and sat straight, looking Kurt in the eyes. "I went to the café. The one where I saw you and you ran off before I could give you my number. I went there almost everyday for a long time. I was hoping to run into you again."

"You did?" Kurt smiled closed mouthed. He was flattered.

"Yeah." Blaine blushed again, but didn't hide it this time. "I didn't know how else to find you and I didn't know why, but I was interested… _very_ interested… and definitely attracted. They smiled at each other. "You know, your eyes sparkle when you smile like that."

Kurt smiled wider, showing his dimples. "Yours do too." He didn't hesitate. Kurt leaned forward, hovering over Blaine as Blaine lowered himself backwards onto the rest of the couch. He captured Blaine's lips between his own and slid his tongue across Blaine's bottom lip. As their lips continued to move against each other, Kurt's hand roamed south. He meant to just touch Blaine's chest and stomach, but he was between Blaine's legs and decided to run his hand down Blaine's leg as far as he could reach and run it back up again. It took all of two seconds to realize that there wasn't any clothing covering Blaine's legs. He felt the softness of the fresh towel wrapped loosely now around Blaine's waist and quickly sat up. "Oh my god, you're only wearing a towel!"

Blaine laughed at the fact that not only was Kurt just _now_ realizing his lack of clothing, but his reaction was so surprised that it was comical. "That's because I just got out of the shower and was waiting for you to get off the phone so I can get dressed. My clothes are in your room, remember?"

Kurt's eyes were very obviously roaming around Blaine's legs, stomach, and chest. _God, he's a beautiful man. How can one person look this good?_ He gulped loudly and stood up. "You should go get dressed. I need to take a shower." He didn't wait for Blaine to respond before turning on his heels and rushing to the bathroom. He barely heard Blaine laughing as he clicked the lock on the bathroom door.

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><p><strong>hehehe sexual tension : P<strong>

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	21. Chapter 21

A/N I wanted to address some things from some of my reviews. Yes, what Kurt is doing is wrong and Blaine isn't any better for encouraging it, and Vin is the odd man out, completly clueless as to what Kurt is doing. BUT you have to keep in mind that Kurt wouldn't do this just because he could get away with it. He's said in the begining that being around Blaine wasn't work. It was completly comfortable and Blaine just knew Kurt. Blaine doesn't want to just give up on Kurt because he feels the same thing that Kurt does. He just can't stay away from him. There's something that keeps Blaine coming back and not being able to let his feelings for him go. Blaine knows that what they're doing could really screw things up between him and Kurt and Kurt and Vin, but he can't stop himself. He knows there's a chance Kurt might choose Vin over him, and that kills him, but that's a chance he's willing to take.

However, keep in mind that the only way we've seen Vin, is around Kurt. He might be a completly different person when he's in his own comfort zone. Not to mention, that when he lived with Kurt, they did nothing but bicker and fight and have make up sex... Those are just things to think about. : D

Thanks for everyone's continued interest and investment in this story. It means so much to me that people actually read my fics and feel compelled to review them : )

xoxo Grace

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><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

After work, there was a unexpected down poor of rain by the time Kurt and Blaine made it to the subway station. They had hoped that it'd be over by the time they got off at their stop, but it wasn't. Everything was soaking wet and seeing was clearly a problem for a lot of drivers. Kurt only lived two blocks away from the subway station and for the first time ever, it seemed that no taxis were in sight unless they were whizzing by at a lightning speed that was much too fast for the slick roads. Blaine said that they should just suck it up and make a run for it. "Who knows how long we'd be waiting for it to stop," he said. "It's only rain."

Kurt was worried about ruining his silk shirt that he stupidly wore to work that night. Blaine was right. It was only water. "Fine," he agreed. They took off running and Blaine was clearly enjoying this much more than Kurt.

By the time they got back to the apartment, both men were soaked and dripping wet. "Ugh!" Kurt groaned, unhappy with the feeling of wet clothes clinging to his body. I need to wash the gross city rain off my hair and skin. I'm going to take shower number two for the day."

Blaine peeled his shirt and undershirt off, followed by toeing his shoes off and straining to pull his dress socks off. "You do that. I have dibs on the shower after you."

Kurt went into the bathroom and seconds later, the sound of running water was heard. Blaine's cell phone started ringing and Blaine was extremely thankful that there wasn't water damage to his phone. He didn't recognize the number that flashed across the screen. "Hello?" he asked.

"Hey, Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Hi! Blaine, this is Vin."

Blaine made a face. "Hi. How did you get my number?"

"I hope it's okay, but I stole it from Kurt's phone. I didn't know if I'd ever need to talk to you or get a hold of Kurt when he was with you and his phone wasn't working. Wow, that sounds obsessive. Sorry. Um. Is Kurt with you now?"

"He's in the shower. We just got back from work. Why? Is his phone not working? We got caught in a down pour."

"No. I wanted to talk to you actually."

"Oh? Um. Okay. What's up?" Blaine tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder while he picked up his wet clothes and brought them into Kurt's room. He dumped them in his laundry bag.

"Well, my mom's having a birthday party. A surprise party actually. I invited Kurt and he said he'd go, but I can tell that he doesn't really want to go. I mean, he did say that he didn't feel comfortable, but I guess I just wanted your opinion because you're his friend. Do you think it was right of me to insist that he goes with me or should I just let him make his own decision and be happy with it?"

"Uh…" Blaine stepped out of Kurt's room and glanced over toward the bathroom door. He didn't know what to say. "I don't know if I'm really the person you should be talking to about this."

"I don't know who else to talk to."

"You really should be talking to Kurt."

"That's the problem. I know he's just agreeing to go because he thinks it would make me happy."

"Wouldn't it?"

"Yes, but- I don't know. I want him to be comfortable."

"Then don't make him go." Blaine felt bad saying it because he secretly wanted Kurt not to go, but he felt it was wrong to alienate Vin that way. He was already making out with his boyfriend behind his back. He wanted Kurt to be his, but he wanted Kurt to choose him because he wanted Blaine and not because Blaine weaseled his way into Vin's head. "Look, Vin. Just do what you think it right. If it really means that much to you that he's there, then make him understand, but if it means more to you that he make his own choice based on his own feelings, then tell him that. You just have to talk to him."

"You're right. Thank you. I don't know what I was thinking."

"It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Okay. I'll call him later." They both said their goodbyes and hung up.

Blaine debated whether or not to tell Kurt that Vin had called him. Part of him thought he should, but there was a part of him that didn't want to help the situation because the more problems that Kurt and Vin had, the more likely Kurt would be to choose Blaine. In the end, there wasn't even a question as to what Blaine should do. He was Kurt's friend first and foremost and knew that if he had any hope of winning Kurt's heart it was better to be the person he really was and not the game player that he was tempted to be.

Kurt came out of the bathroom in his white robe, towel drying his hair as he walked. "Vin called," Blaine said as he flipped through a magazine on the coffee table. He was now sitting in a towel because he discarded his wet pants and boxers.

"You answered my phone?" Kurt asked curiously. He didn't sound mad at the idea, he just thought it was odd.

"No. He called me."

Kurt looked startled; like their affair had been found out. "He did?"

Blaine looked up from the magazine and turned around on the couch to face Kurt. "Yeah. He wanted some advice on what he should do about you going to his mother's party."

Kurt sighed in relief and the color returned to his face. _Oh thank God,_ he thought. "What did you tell him?"

"I told him that he should talk to you about it and tell you how he really feels. He doesn't want you to be uncomfortable, but he really wants you there. I said that he should do what he thinks is right."

"You said that?"

"Yeah. Was that okay?"

Kurt's eyebrows lifted. "Yeah. That was… wow, I hadn't expected you to do that."

"Do what?"

"Try to help."

Blaine scrunched his face, which Kurt thought was adorable. He got up and went over to Kurt. He held his hands. "Honestly, I thought about not helping, but then I also thought about how your life isn't a game. If you choose me, I want you to choose me with no regrets and because I'm who you want. If you chose the person who was conniving and secretive then that wouldn't be fair to you or Vin."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"Would it bother you if I went?"

"No." _Yes._

"Not at all?"

Blaine bit down on his tongue. _No secrets. No games,_ he reminded himself. "A little." He shrugged. "But it's only because I want you to be with me. Playing house with him and his family makes me think that you're slipping away from me."

"It has nothing to do with the fact that I'll be somewhere else with someone else?"

"If it were someone other than Vin, I'd be pissed. I'm not going to lie about that. But I know you never would have pictured cheating on one person, never mind going out and finding yet another person. You and me…It just sort of happened and now you don't know what you want. That's okay. You and me are sort of operating on 'what Vin doesn't know won't hurt him.' I know we've never said that out loud, but that's what we're doing, right? Thinking about you with Vin makes me jealous. I'll admit that, but when I say that I'm willing to wait for you to make a choice, this is the sort of thing that I have to take along with it. What's that saying?" He snapped his fingers while he tried to pull up a phrase he once heard. "With the sweets, comes the spoils? Well, the sweet part is that _I _get to be here with you." He kissed Kurt softly on the lips. "And I get to do that. The spoil part is that I have to accept that you have to pretend with Vin that there's nothing out of the ordinary, whatever that entails." He tried not to picture Kurt and Vin being intimate.

"I don't deserve you." Kurt kissed Blaine's forehead and embraced him. "Either of you."

"Yes you do."

"I don't feel like I do. Where has this gotten me? I'm cheating on a guy who has done nothing wrong and lying to him. And I'm having an affair with you. You're patiently waiting while I continue to not give you want you want."

"Kurt, waiting isn't that hard. You're not lying to me. You're being completely honest and it's only been like a week and a half. Besides, while I'm waiting, we're having fun. I got to take you out on a date this week, and see you at work, and share you're bed," he leaned in slowly while he lowered his voice a little, "and kiss you." Kurt kissed Blaine back with parted lips, touching his tongue to Blaine's smooth lips. "So don't worry about me." He kissed him again. "I'm going to go take a shower."

Kurt's eyes followed Blaine's half naked body as he strutted to the bathroom. Blaine smiled over his shoulder when he saw Kurt's eyes watching him walk away. He always felt a twinge of sex appeal whenever he caught Kurt starring. It made him happy to think that Kurt liked what he saw… or didn't see because he was certainly liking what he saw when he looked back at Kurt.

His eyes, his hair, his silken skin, it all appealed to Blaine in a way that made him want to do nothing, but touch Kurt constantly. Everything screamed soft to Blaine.

When he finished in the shower, he found himself a little more than a bit turned on and thought that maybe he should give Kurt some space while he tried to cool off. But when he came out of Kurt's bedroom, dressed in just his pajama pants, he saw Kurt in the kitchen readying a cup of tea. He knew tea meant that Kurt was stressed. Blaine went up behind Kurt and wrapped his arms around him. One hand across his stomach and the other angled up over his chest. His chin rested on Kurt's shoulder. "Lemon?" he asked absently.

"Mmm," Kurt answered to mean yes and covered one of Blaine's hands with his own, as if hugging him back.

"You stress too much."

"I have reason to."

There was silence and Blaine felt his skin begin to tingle as a shiver ran down his spine. He thought for a second. _Kurt is so warm. _He wanted to help him de-stress. A thought crossed his mind and decided to see if his offer would be welcomed. He began to slide the hand on his stomach down lower. "Why don't I help you get rid of some of that stress?" Lower and lower his hand went until he was cupping Kurt's bulge, which he found was already becoming half hard, and he realized that perhaps Kurt was sexually frustrated and that was adding to his stress.

Kurt put both hands on the counter and exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding. His eyes shut. The feeling of pressure on his growing member was both soothing and making him more anxious. Blaine silently kneaded his hand on Kurt's groin while holding him close with the other. Kurt sucked in another breath and released it. "Th-that feels good," he whispered.

Blaine hesitantly and cautiously slid his hand into Kurt's cotton pants and into his briefs. He splayed his fingers out, feeling every bit of Kurt before encircling his fingers around the base of his cock. The touch made Kurt moan the tiniest of moans and Blaine took that as permission to start pumping his fist. He started slow, not rushing Kurt through this. It was a delicate situation and deserved an equally gentle start.

He loved the way Kurt felt. His skin was even softer than he imagined and he could feel Kurt's heart beat under his hand and he could hear is when he curled his head to rest between Kurt's shoulder blades.

Kurt's heart was beating hard, thudding inside his ribs. One of his hands shot back to the one Blaine had holding onto his chest. He breathed harder as Blaine jerked him back and forth, adding more pressure to the head as he went along. He couldn't help the little roll his hips made into Blaine's fist and upon moving his hips back, he felt Blaine's erect cock against him, inside its own clothed prison. He heard Blaine gasp and then pushed his hips forward gently against Kurt's ass.

He rolled his hips, grinding against Kurt, all the while causing Kurt to thrust forward into Blaine's hand. Kurt moaned while Blaine followed with a straggled "Ahng," sound. Roll. Thrust. Roll. Thrust. They had a rhythm going as both of their stomachs began to tighten. Their breathing was labored and Blaine picked up his speed when he felt Kurt's hips snap back with more force.

Minutes later, Kurt was completely pressed against the side of the counter and sandwiched between it and Blaine, moaning loudly and often. Blaine was grinding against Kurt in unison with his hand being thrust into by Kurt and moaning just as loudly, reveling in the feeling of Kurt and the sound of his voice. It wasn't much longer before they were both panting as their orgasms climaxed and dampened their clothes.

Blaine pumped Kurt gently through his orgasm and slipped his hand out of Kurt's pants when Kurt's dick stopped throbbing. He wanted to hug Kurt completely while they came off their high, but his hand had Kurt's semen on it and he didn't want to get Kurt any more messy. Kurt was still holding Blaine's other hand very tightly over his chest from before they started. He dropped his head down and rested his lips against their tangled fingers. They stayed that way for another minute or two, neither one wanting the moment to end. But end it did and both changed their clothes and Blaine washed his hands. They reconvened on the couch with Kurt cuddled close to Blaine's chest as they watched television, not saying anything to each other, but exchanging glances, and smiles, and the occasional kiss.

An hour later, Kurt's phone rang. He thought to let it go to voicemail because he was happy where he was, but he looked up at Blaine. Blaine smiled. "Are you going to get that?" he asked. "It's probably Vin."

"Are you sure?" It was strange for Kurt to ask permission, but he felt this was Blaine's time because they just shared something special.

"Yeah. Answer it," Blaine urged with a smile. He was happy and content in this moment. Even Kurt talking to Vin, couldn't ruin his mood right now.

Kurt quickly kissed Blaine on the lips and snatched his phone off the coffee table in front of him. "Hello?" he asked.

"Hey," Vin's voice came cautiously.

Kurt got up off Blaine and went to sit in the kitchen, so Blaine could watch TV in peace. "Is everything okay? You sound sad."

"Yeah. I'm just in a mood I guess. I wanted to talk to you about how you said you'd come to my mom's party."

"Okay."

"Look, I thought about it and I don't want you there if you're going to be uncomfortable at all. I shouldn't make you do something you don't want to do."

"But I thought you wanted me to be there to support you? Vin, if you want me to support you, I will."

"But you don't feel comfortable doing it."

"It's not that. I just don't feel comfortable with the timing. People who don't embrace the gay don't make me uncomfortable. It's that you wanted to make this point on _her _day. If you want me there, I will be."

"Well, I changed my mind. You were right. Her birthday is not a day to be making a point. What if you came over some other time? You can meet some more of my friends and have dinner or something with me and my family."

Kurt took a second and thought. "When?" he asked.

"Anytime. Um… two weeks? That'll put us at one month and one week since we'd last seen each other."

He heard Blaine's phone ring in the other room and he turned his head toward the sound. "Oh. Um. Okay. Sure. I'll, um. I'll talk to Sterling and see what we can do for scheduling."

"Great!" Kurt could hear Vin's smile in his voice. "Oh, Kurt I'm so happy."

"Me too." Kurt wasn't actually all that happy. He was feeling guilty again. He officially hooked up with Blaine and less than an hour and a half later, he was making plans with his boyfriend, who was clueless as to what he was up to. He felt awful. "Thanks for being understanding about your mom's party."

"It's nothing. You were right anyway."

"Are they really that bad?"

"You have no idea. You're dad is a saint compared to my parents."

"My dad is a saint anyway. He's the head of the civil rights, congress crusade," Kurt laughed.

"Yeah, well my parents aren't even close to that. They spare no moment to tell me I'm going to burn in unholy damnation for my homosexual thoughts and actions. Honestly, I can't help it if I like thinking about you being naked and then seeing my thoughts come to fruition," Vin laughed back.

Kurt yawned. "Okay. I have to go." Vin talking about thinking about naked Kurt only made Kurt feel worse. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay. Love you."

Kurt smiled a little. "I love you too." He ended the call and stared off into nothingness while he thought about that. _I love you too._ Vin was willing to give up something he really wanted to make Kurt happy. He took a deep breath and suddenly knew what he had to do. It came to him like an epiphany and while he wasn't sure if he completely backed that choice, but it was the right one. It had to be.

Kurt went back into the living room and sat next to Blaine. "That was Nick," Blaine said with a smile. "He said that the house is fixed and we can move back in tomorrow."

"That's great," Kurt said. "What about your stuff?"

"Insurance will cover the expense of all my instruments and electronics, which is awesome. The orchestra director helped me out with that because he claimed that since I'm a musician, my instruments are a means to work and my lively hood. God I'm so glad I got that job."

"That's really great, Blaine."

"Yeah. So, I guess this is my last night." His smile fell a little.

"Then we should make the most of it."

Blaine gave Kurt a look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm tired and we should go to bed. It is your last night here. We only get one more night to wake up to each other."

Blaine smiled again. "We'll see about that."

Kurt curled up with Blaine in bed and couldn't stop himself from thinking and hoping that he was making the right choice.

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><p>Who do you think he'll choose?<p>

(Next chapter, Kurt makes a choice as to who he wants to be with, but, mind you, it's not the end of the story... *evil laugh*)

Please review!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Blaine started stirring around ten in the morning. He rolled over and extended his arm to try to find the body that he'd been holding for the past two weeks. Instead, he found nothing. Cold sheets. Blaine opened his eyes. Kurt had been gone for a while it seemed. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. It was a cold morning. He put on his pajama pants and a long sleeved shirt.

He found Kurt standing at the kitchen sink, washing a coffee mug. He silently tip toed over to Kurt and slipped his arms around his waist. Kurt straightened up immediately. "Good morning," Blaine said with his chin resting on Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt turned the faucet off and paused in his motions. He cleared his throat. "Morning." He slid out of Blaine's arms and went to the bathroom.

Something was wrong. Blaine could tell. He sat down at the table, waiting for Kurt to emerge from the bathroom. Kurt had taken a shower, but Blaine didn't move. When Kurt finally came out, he walked past Blaine, glancing at him quickly, but actively rubbing his hair with his towel. Blaine got up and followed him to the bedroom and leaned against the door frame. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I need to get dressed," Kurt said shyly.

"What's going on? You're acting strange."

"Can I please get dressed?"

Something was definitely wrong. Something inside Blaine knew what it was. He could feel what was about to happen, but he needed to make sure. "Go ahead."

"With you watching?" He shifted his eyes back and forth awkwardly.

"I wasn't planning on watching, but after last night I didn't think me standing here would be a problem."

"Can I please just get dressed in privacy?"

Blaine sighed deeply. "Sure, Kurt." He stepped out of the door frame and shut the door. He took a shower and got dressed. Kurt was watching TV when he got out of the shower.

There was silence. Nothing but silence. Kurt said nothing to Blaine when he came out fully dressed and said nothing when Blaine sat down next to him on the couch. Blaine waited a half hour for the program on the television to be finished. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Oo, it's a marathon!" Kurt said, ignoring Blaine all together.

Blaine grabbed the remote out of Kurt's hand and shut the TV off. "Kurt, talk to me!" His voice was shakier than he wanted it to be.

Kurt stared wide-eyed. His throat was quickly closing up by the lump that was rising. He didn't want to have this conversation. His attempt at avoidance was only coming off as cold, he knew that, but couldn't help what he was doing. He tried to swallow, but the moisture was leaving his mouth.

When Kurt didn't answer, Blaine let out a breath he was holding. "It's him isn't it?" he asked. Kurt nodded. "Your choice? It's him?"

With every fiber of his being, Kurt willed himself to stay still, to not say anything, to not nod or shake his head one millimeter. But no amount of will or wishing stopped the gentle bob of his head from happening. His eyes were drying up now. There were no tears to cry or saliva to gulp.

Blaine licked his lips and averted his eyes. This was not what he wanted to happen, but it was reality and he had to face it. "Okay." He nodded his head for lack of anything else to do. "Then we'll be friends."

"Y-you still want to be my friend?" Kurt stuttered. He wondered when the tears would come because his heart was breaking.

"Yeah," Blaine answered slowly. "I'd rather have you as a friend than not at all." That sounded like an okay answer to Blaine. It was half true. He really couldn't bare to not have Kurt in his life, but he'd rather have Kurt as his lover. He wanted to dote on him and treat him like he was special. Blaine wanted to make Kurt feel like there was no one else for him, but Kurt was no longer giving him permission to do so.

"What? !" Kurt's eyes narrowed and his mouth gaped open. The sweet gesture that Blaine tried to extend was not received well on Kurt's end.

That was not the response Blaine expected or anticipated Kurt to have. He stuttered. "Uh, I-"

"You'd rather have me as a _friend _than _not at all_? ? What was this for? What was the point of having an affair?"

"W-What do you mean?"

"If you'd rather have me as a friend than nothing at all, then what were we doing here? What was the purpose?" There was something about what Blaine said that bothered Kurt. He wished it didn't. He wished he could be okay with the terribly cliché line. He knew Blaine was just trying to make this easier. For whom, Kurt wasn't sure, but he'd heard every cliché line before. _It's not me it's you. I want us to be friends. I'd rather have you this way than no way at all. _He once believed them, but now he knew better. "We could have been friends and not have put Vin through all of this."

"We didn't put Vin through anything. He's none the wiser."

"I can't believe you just said that."

"Well, what am I supposed to say? Good, I'm happy for you? I don't think I need to say it out loud for you to know the answer to that. Did any of this mean anything to you?" Blaine stood up and ran his fingers through his curls. He looked frazzled. "I- we- last night… and now? _Him_? Was… was it-?" He stopped himself from asking if their hook up was bad and if he didn't satisfy Kurt the way Vin can. He didn't really want to know the answer. "No." He waved his hands as if to erase what he stammered previously. "I only said that I'd rather have you as a friend than nothing at all because I wanted to make what is happening easier. I was trying to be nice about it."

"So you don't mean it? You don't want me as a friend?"

"No. I do! I want you in my life and I want to be a part of yours. I'm just trying to quickly get a handle on this before I walk out that door and lose you forever. If he's what you want, fine. Okay, maybe it's not fine, but that's your choice and there's nothing I can do about it, but if I accept it and try to be there for you, maybe you'd let me be your friend again. I-I just d-don't want to not… to not… Christ." Blaine gave up and dropped his hands to his sides, making an audible slapping noise. He walked into Kurt's room, grabbed whatever he had lying around the room, and shoved it in his duffle bag. He brought his bag out and put it next to his guitar case before going to the bathroom to retrieve his toiletries.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked when Blaine came back.

"Packing. Then leaving."

"Where are you going?"

"Home." Blaine zipped up his bag and picked it up, along with his guitar case. He put them down at the door to put his shoes on.

Kurt hadn't intended on following Blaine. He hadn't planned on stopping him because maybe it was better this way. Maybe Blaine needed to leave and let out some steam. But he couldn't end it like this. Blaine meant too much to him for it to end like this. He rushed to the kitchen to catch Blaine before he finished putting his shoes on. Kurt grabbed a hold of Blaine's duffle bag and immediately started carting it back into the living room.

"Kurt, what are you doing?"

"You're not leaving yet."

Blaine trailed after Kurt with one shoe on. He snatched a handle and pulled the bag in his direction. "Yes, I am."

Kurt pulled back. "No. You're. Not."

"Why? Huh? Why aren't I leaving? You don't want me here." Pull.

"I never said that." Pull. "We need to talk about this."

"We already did." Pull.

"No. I told you I chose him and you gave up." Kurt pulled the bag as hard as he could and stumbled a little when Blaine couldn't hold on to it. He quickly jumped back with the bag.

"How old are you, twelve?"

"Ten, actually. I'm mature for my age," Kurt snapped while taking another step back. "Don't make me throw your stuff around the room to make you stay longer putting it back together."

"Fine!" Blaine closed his eyes and shook his head. He took his shoe off and threw it at Kurt's legs.

"Hey!" Kurt jumped when the impact of the shoe hit him. "And you think _I'm_ childish?" He picked up the shoe and chucked it back at Blaine. It hit him in the stomach.

"Ow!"

"Serves you right. Next time, don't throw something at me and expect nothing to happen." Kurt turned around and unzipped the bag. He decided to make good on his word and started tossing items from the bag out and around the living room. He did think it was weird when Blaine didn't say anything. Kurt thought it was strange and turned around. Blaine was walking in from the kitchen with the bottle of water that Kurt used to spray his plants. "What are you doing?" Without a word, Blaine sprayed Kurt in the face. Kurt tried to speak, but Blaine did it again. "H-Hey!" Blaine sprayed Kurt again and again wherever he could reach when Kurt tried for the bottle. Eleven times in total.

Kurt grabbed the bottle, which Blaine relinquished with no problem and Kurt unscrewed the top and proceeded to douse all of Blaine's things in the leftover water. He heard a small crash and he whipped around. Blaine was standing in a pile of dirt. He knocked, or toed over, a rather large potted plant and the dirt and soil spilled everywhere. "What the hell, Blaine! You knocked my plant over!"

"You dumped water on my clothes!"

"You sprayed me in the face!"

"You took my bag and threw my things all over the room."

"You threw your shoe at me!"

"You threw it back!"

About five seconds of glaring at each other passed before both of them started laughing hysterically. Kurt broke first and smiled. Blaine followed with chuckling.

"I'm sorry," Kurt admitted. "For…" He looked around the room and saw the mess they'd created. "… well, everything."

"Me too." The laughter dissipated and the mood turned serious.

"What are you sorry for? You weren't the one cheating on his boyfriend."

"No, but… I'm sorry for not being-" Blaine took a deep breath and looked away. _I'm sorry for not being enough for you._ He looked back. "Not being more. Or less, if that makes any sense. I don't know. I'm sorry for aiding in making you go through this. I know how much pressure you were under and I know that this is difficult for you."

Kurt walked over to Blaine and hugged him. "Thank you."

Without having to explain, Blaine knew what Kurt was thanking him for. _Thank you for not needing an explanation. Thank you for being you. Thank you for taking this so well._ "So… friends?" He let go of Kurt and held his hand out.

Kurt looked at Blaine's hand and thought how quickly things changed. Not too long ago that same hand was holding him and stroking his hair. That very same right hand had held his while they walked down the street and last night it was jerking him off. Kurt put his hand in Blaine's. Now he was shaking it like none of that happened. "Friends," he agreed. He exhaled a long breath and stared back at Blaine, who was looking deeply into his eyes. They were unreadable. He let go of Blaine's hand. "Can a friend help me clean up this mess?"

Blaine chuckled. "I have to. Half of the mess is my apparently wet clothes."

"I'll tell you what. I'll clean up the mess I made, if you clean up the mess you made."

"Deal." It didn't take long. Blaine's clothes were back in his duffle bag and the dirt was swept up and put back in the pot. Stray water was towel dried.

When they finished they simply stared at each other once again. "So, what now?" Kurt asked.

Blaine itched his head. "I think I'm just going to go. I wanna check out the house and I need to make some calls to the insurance company. I'll see you at work."

This felt awkward to Kurt. There was a strange finality to what they were saying. It felt like goodbye. "Okay. See you later then."

"Yep." There was another silent few moments of looking at each other then Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek. "I hope he makes you happy."

_How do I respond to that?_ Kurt thought. He just nodded his head and followed Blaine into the kitchen, carrying Blaine's duffle bag.

Blaine put his shoes on, took his bag from Kurt and slung it over one shoulder. He held his guitar case in the other hand. "Thanks for letting me stay. You didn't have to." He was trying to make it sound like nothing had happened and he had slept on the couch every night instead of in Kurt's bed.

"What are friends for?" Kurt tried to play along, but it hurt too much and it came out sounding awkward.

"Bye," Blaine said gently.

The door opened and Kurt stood in the doorway, holding the door. "Bye," he responded and watched until he couldn't see Blaine walking away anymore.

* * *

><p>...the story isn't over yet... just wait to see what I have planned : ) Only one of you know the top secret intel...<p>

If Kurt really had that hard of a time, is this really going to go away that easily? : P

What did everyone think of their fight? lol

Please Review!

Tumblr: grace-ryan


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Kurt**

While the split between Kurt and Blaine ended in a civilized, friendly manner, they both subconsciously were spending time away from each other. They'd see each other at work and smile at each other and wave from afar or say "hi, how are you?" in passing, but nothing was said or done beyond that of co-workers.

Kurt decided that it was time he put extra effort into his relationship with Vin and he called more often, Skyped almost every night, and even made plans to go visit. It was difficult, at first, coming home alone after work and then going to bed alone, but he got himself through it. Surprisingly, though, he started to notice Puck looking at him more often and saying things to him less.

"What?" Kurt asked one night, when he'd had enough.

"Nothing," Puck answered and took a bite of pizza.

"Don't 'nothing' me. You've been doing this for days and it's creeping me out."

"Doing what?"

"You know. The silent treatment. The looks like you see right through me. What gives?"

"I'm just curious how you're taking things without Blaine here." He brought his beer bottle to his lips and took a swig.

Kurt scoffed. "Fine." His annoyed expression was enough to tell Puck that Kurt wished he didn't ask.

"Okay." Puck left it at that because he figured Kurt would say more once he wanted to and he finished his slice of pizza.

"Okay? That's it? You pry as much as a woman, Puckerman. Why do you think I'd be _not _taking Blaine going back to his house well?"

Puck took the last swig of his beer and opened another bottle. "Because he spent every night in your room and I haven't even seen him around here or heard you on the phone with him since he left last week. I'd imagine if you two were together, you'd either spend more time there or he'd still be here."

"We're not together," Kurt corrected as he looked down at his salad. "How did you know he slept in my room?"

Puck laughed. "Kurt, really? I do occasionally go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I have to walk right past the couch to get there. It's kind of easy to see if someone is there or not. Most mornings I'd wake to go to work and it was obvious that those sheets weren't even touched. I'm not as dumb as you think, Dude."

Kurt closed his eyes and breathed though his nose. It almost felt better that someone knew. He didn't have to keep his affair pent up inside. It didn't make his guilt go away, but at least it was his friend and roommate and not someone else. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because you're a big boy and it's none of my business. I'm only asking now because you look like you're sort of just going through the motions of things and not really caring too much about what you're doing?"

"I care! Believe me I care about what I did. It wasn't all la-dee-da."

"-No, no, no. That's not what I meant. I meant that you're acting like you're missing something _now._ When Vin is here, you are passionate about even the littlest things. When Blaine is here, you almost never stop smiling. Now, I never see you smile and you never go out."

"You make it seem like I need a man to be happy."

"I don't know if that's true, but I know that you aren't happy when Blaine isn't in your life."

"He is in my life. I see him at work."

"And out of work?"

Kurt twisted his tongue on the inside of his mouth and bit down on it gently. "I need to let go of Blaine a little if I want my relationship with Vin to work."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not myself with Blaine."

"Or maybe you're more yourself with him than you think?"

"I'm a cheater when I'm with Blaine. I've always been painfully devoted until now. I forget about everything and lose myself in being with him."

"If you weren't with Vin, then you wouldn't _be_ a cheater and you'd just be on the road of falling in love with him."

"What are you talking about? I can't leave Vin."

"But you can cheat on him?"

"I never said it was right! Just that I did it."

"Look, you've had both guys living here. All I know is that you seemed happier when Blaine was here than you did with Vin."

Kurt licked his teeth behind his lips. He didn't know what to say.

"I think a month isn't time enough for two people to think that living together is a good idea. I know you two are under a time crunch because if he doesn't make a decision before summer ends then he's under contract to stay the whole school year. A month is…take us for example." Kurt raised an eyebrow to signify _where the hell are you going with this_? "I moved in and after a month, we were just getting comfortable in our own space. I didn't feel like this was my living space until after a month and a half."

"Why not?" Kurt was suddenly concerned that maybe he hadn't made Puck feel welcomed.

"I felt that my bedroom was my space, but everything else had your touch to it. You'd been here for a while and I was intruding."

"I didn't mean to-"

"No. You didn't make me feel that way. It was just the way it was. I was the new guy and we had to learn to live with each other. We learned showering schedules, what foods we mutually liked to eat and which ones we didn't. We learned what pet peeves we had when it came to cleaning and messes. Beyond all that, we had to learn how to communicate and read each other's body language. I had paid my rent, but I wasn't a tenant until after I felt comfortable."

"What does all that have to do with Vin and Blaine?"

"Vin came in and you two had to go through all that as a couple and not just room mates. That's harder because you don't have your own space to get away from him. You share space. It takes a while to learn to live together, but it takes longer to learn to cohabit the same living space because you share everything. Blaine came in and it was like he'd been here forever. You two had no problem immediately slipping into a routine and Blaine had no uncomfortabilities sitting alone with me in the apartment. Vin always seemed uneasy when it was just the two of us in the living room while you were in another room."

"Vin didn't know you and you look a little intimidating."

"Blaine didn't know me either."

"They're two different people."

"And one seems more comfortable with your life than the other. Are you happy with our arangement now?"

"What? You and me?" Kurt asked, not knowing where Puck was going with the question.

"Yeah."

"Sure, I'm happy, Noah. Surprisingly we make great room mates."

"Do you want things to change around here?"

"No. Why would they?"

"If Blaine were part of your life and he really is as comfortable with the way things are things wouldn't change. But if Vin, who never got comfortable with me here and the way you and I had things working, moved in… things would change drasticly because our lives would have to coincide with his. Everything would change. Whether things would change for better or for worse, I don't know, but I, for one, don't want things to change around here. I know you asked how I felt about Vin moving in. I'm totally cool with it. I like him enough and I want you happy, but I like my life. I like our life. I don't want to feel weirded out by a guy who rolls his eyes whenever I stumble in the apartment with a chick on my arm."

"He did that?"

"Yeah. A number of times."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't know the guy and I was more preoccupied with getting laid than stating a point."

"Why not say something to me?"

"I didn't want to start something with you."

"Then why say something now?"

"Because I want you to make sure- very sure- that _Vin_ is the one you really want."

Kurt stopped breathing for a few seconds. Up until now, no one had poised the situation that way. But then again, no one else knew about Kurt's affair. That was always the underlying question, right? Who is the one Kurt really wanted? _Vin. Of course, I want Vin. Why wouldn't I want Vin? He is the one I really want…right?_

"Just tell me something," Puck continued after moments of Kurt's silence. "Why are you with Vin and why were you with Blaine?"

Kurt put down his fork and pushed his food away. "When I met Vin, my first thought was that he was me if I ever stayed in Lima, well, a slightly more masculine version of me. I liked that for once I had things in common with a guy who was into me. He wasn't exciting like my last boyfriends. In my mind, exciting meant comfortable and wouldn't leave me."

"And now?"

"Now…" He took a deep breath. "He's so much more than what I thought and he's amazing. I love him. "

"Right."

"I do!" Kurt looked annoyed and instantly angry. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look, don't get me wrong, because I like Vin. You're right; he's a great guy, just…I don't know. You two fought constantly and when you weren't fighting you were fucking. It just doesn't seem like the most healthy of relationships."

"We only fought when he was here."

"And that makes it okay? Maybe he shouldn't move in here until you two and have a relationship in New York City. Being around someone as much as two people who live together is so much different than talking to someone over the phone, you know that. I think a month wasn't enough for you two. God, Blaine was here two weeks and how many fights did you two have?"

Kurt saw the potted plant, out of the corner of his eye, that Blaine had knocked over before he left. "One."

"And how did that go?"

"Different than the way Vin and I fight."

"How so?"

"We ended it with laughter."

"And with Vin?"

Kurt eyed Puck cautiously then twisted his lips before answering. "Usually we're a sweaty mess by the end of it, if you catch my drift."

Puck's eyebrows raised and then he sighed. "Well, you have to make a decision."

"I know. Believe me, I know."

"It just seems to me that someone you can laugh off the hard times with is better than someone who solves things with sex."

Kurt squinted. "Noah, _you_ solve things with sex."

"And how many relationships do you see me in? I'm not a good boyfriend. I never have been."

"You were with Lauren Zizes."

"That was almost eight years ago and that only happened because she had the upper hand. I wasn't having sex with her."

"Look, I know you'll choose whoever you think is best, but keep something else in mind, okay?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"If Vin knew what happened with you and Blaine behind his back, would he be the same person to you? Blaine knows you cheated on your boyfriend with him, but still wants you anyway because he trusts you. Don't you think choosing Blaine would be like a breath of fresh air? There are not secrets between you two and more than enough between you and Vin. Blaine _knows_ you. Vin doesn't. How do you even know that the Vin you think you know isn't someone else?"

Puck had a point. Kurt threw back his drink and licked his lips, torn between two realities. He missed them both. He couldn't play either one. But what was his relationship with Vin? Sex. When they were together, there was lots of that. Somehow, in the time they'd known each other, they'd grown to fall for each other. Kurt loved Vin; he did, but there was a part of him whispering that he wasn't _in love_ with him. Kurt wasn't sure if he was ready to believe that. Sometimes he felt he was in love with Vin and sometimes he felt that he just loved him, but he couldn't tell Vin that. In many ways they were still getting to know each other because they spent more time apart than they did together.

Then there was Blaine. Kurt still couldn't pin point what it was that made him gravitate toward that man. Sure, he was hot and sexy, but there were plenty of those types in the city. There was something else that he couldn't put his finger on. He couldn't touch it and he couldn't see it. It was just something he felt that didn't have words for. It didn't make the way he wanted Vin any less, but he wanted Blaine in every way possible. He wanted to make eyes at him across a table and get goose bumps from his touch. He wanted to nuzzle into Blaine's neck and he wanted to feel Blaine's tongue against his own. Kurt was ashamed to admit it, but after everything else that he wanted with Blaine, he wanted to make love with him soft and slow.

Kurt kept telling himself that he shouldn't want that because he had Vin. He had amazing sex with his boyfriend and worthwhile conversations, but the more time Kurt had spent with Blaine, it seemed that there was something lacking in his relationship with Vin. The spark was still there. The connection was still there, but the flame just wasn't burning as bright as it used to. Maybe ending it with Blaine would bring back the ignition and Kurt would remember everything he had forgotten about why he chose to take a chance on Vin in the first place. He just wished he could be certain.

**Blaine**

Blaine was surprised at how easy it was to hide his real feelings for not being Kurt's choice. He felt that it was only obvious how he felt when he was writing his music or when he was alone. When Blaine was alone, every thought was about Kurt and how Blaine should have seen it coming. He thought about how beautiful Kurt was and how stupid Blaine was for letting himself get between Kurt and Vin because now he may have lost any connection he might have had with Kurt. Sure, they said they'd be friends, but would that even be possible? They had a link to each other on a level that couldn't be seen or expressed, but all that was for nothing because Blaine couldn't stop himself from acting on his feelings.

He knew they needed space. He stopped calling and texting Kurt and stopped going to see him at the box office during his breaks. He stopped sitting across or next to him at lunch. Now their friendship slipped back to one between acquaintances: a smile in passing, maybe a hello if they were in the right proximity. Maybe they'd be able to forget about their little two week affair one day, or, at least, maybe they'd be able to forget enough to be friends again. Blaine hoped for that latter. He didn't want to forget what it felt like to sleep with his arms wrapped around Kurt Hummel, or exchange chaste kisses at tender moments. He didn't want to forget any of it, but if forgetting meant that he got to keep Kurt in his life, Blaine was willing to try. At the very least, he was willing to pretend.

He didn't see it as weakness. Blaine was willing to do all these things because he was physiologically drawn to Kurt. He was sure of it. He had to be near him and he had to have him in his life, which ever way Kurt wanted to be in it. Meeting Kurt had been a turning point in Blaine's life. He was transformed once again from one person to another and it was all because he'd met Kurt Hummel.

Blaine began spending time with a girl in the orchestra named Paulina. She played the cello and they talked a few times about how she was in a band and played the base guitar as well. He invited her over to his house to jam with him on his day off in hopes that she'd hit it off with Jeff. Paulina was adorable and petite. She was exactly Jeff's type. Jeff was working though and Blaine had to keep her occupied enough until he came home.

Nick decided to join them and he tapped away at the drums to the songs that he knew and was oddly quiet despite the fact that Paulina was _his _type too. They had more things in common than Nick's current girlfriend.

Jeff soon joined them around two and just as Blaine predicted, they hit it off right away. By six the four of them were playing around with a Taylor Swift song called Hey Stephen and afterwards, Jeff nonchalantly asked Paulina to go with him to pick up dinner.

The two left and Nick still hadn't said anything and Blaine was a little suspicious. "Okay, what gives?" he asked. "You barely said four sentences to me today."

"That song. Hey Stephen," Nick began.

"Yeah. What about it?"

"The way you sang it, you'd think it'd be called Hey Kurt."

"What? ! You're crazy." Blaine stood up and put his guitar on it's stand.

"Seriously. I'm not trying to be mean or get in your business or anything, but you _suck_ at hiding your feelings for him."

Blaine had no idea how Nick saw straight through him. Nick had only seen Kurt a handful of times and Blaine doubted that Nick knew anything about Kurt and his affair. "What are you talking about?"

"Blaine, you've given it an honest effort, buddy." Nick laughed. "But do you really think that no one sees how you look at him? How at the last minute you seemed to have moved in with him? You were happier, giddy even, during those two weeks. Now, when you think no one's looking, you sulk. When Kurt brought Vin to our shows, you looked away whenever Vin made a pass at his own boyfriend."

Blaine gulped and his face fell a little. He'd been found out. His eyes flitted away for a moment and they settled back on Nick. He crossed his arms across his chest. "Okay, so I have a crush on him-"

"It's more than a crush. Something happened between the two of you, I know it."

"It's…" he was about to say 'it's nothing,' but ended with "it's none of your business."

"You're right. It isn't, but whatever you're doing to yourself isn't healthy and I'm trying to come from a caring place."

"What do you mean, it isn't healthy?" Blaine got defensive. "I'm hanging out with you guys. I'm hanging out with people from work. Fuck, I just set Jeff up with an awesome girl from work. I'm not curling in a ball and crying myself to sleep. I'm not listening to sad songs. Everything I'm doing it completely healthy and you don't know what you're talking about. What the fuck, man?"

Nick took Blaine's words in strides because he understood why Blaine would be getting upset. "You're not trying to get over him. I know it. You're distracting yourself. The way you just sang that song with Paulina alone tells me that it's pretty much a self narrative."

"She chose the song!"

"Dude, **I can give you fifty reasons why I should be the one you choose**?" Nick quoted. "**All those other girls are beautiful , but would they write a song for you**? You're going to sit there and, with a straight face, tell me that isn't exactly what you're doing?"

The anger left Blaine's face instantly and his eyes fell to the floor. The saliva felt hot as he swallowed audibly then stuck the tip of his tongue between his lips. He sucked it back in, making a smacking noise, and put his hands on his hips. "I didn't know I was that transparent," he said finally. He gave up trying to hide. He'd been caught in the web of lies he tried to spin.

"Maybe not to everyone, but to me… Blaine, we were kids together. You're one of my best friends. It would be wrong for me or any of the other guys in this house not to notice what's going on with you. You gonna tell me what's going on?"

Blaine fell silent as he stared at one of his closest friends. His eyes dried and then quickly welled a little. They became shiny and glossy like a sheen of water across a solid surface. He thought of not being Kurt's choice and how he can't touch, or hold, or kiss Kurt anymore. He thought about what it meant for him to not even be able to _look_ at him the same way anymore because the way he usually looks at him is with affection and anticipation like being right on the precibus of something wonderful. He'd put up a good front, almost convinced himself that he'd be okay. That he _was_ okay, but he wasn't. Kurt wasn't his and it hurt.

Nick looked at Blaine for a good three seconds and took in Blaine's body language before making his way over to him and embracing him like a brother. "Dude," he said for lack of anything else to say in comfort. He didn't know how to comfort yet because he didn't know the situation.

"H-he chose Vin. He chose someone else. Not me," Blaine choked out. He sniffled, feeling the ooze starting to happen and he knew he was going to cry over a guy for the first time in a very very long time.

They heard footsteps rushing up the stairs, but Blaine didn't move and Nick just kept holding him. "Hey ladies, Jeff texted me you were jamming without me. Where's the music-" Matty appeared in the doorway and stopped in his tracks when he saw Blaine and Nick. "Everything okay?" he asked.

Blaine left Nick's arms and wiped his eyes before turning to Matty with a splotchy face. "I have to tell you something."

All three guys grabbed various pieces of furniture in the music room and sat in a triangle shape to listen to Blaine's story. He told them everything from meeting Kurt and how he felt when he saw him, to their conversations when he stayed at Kurt's apartment; every kiss, every date, and every last word before he left.

Nick seemed understanding. Probably because he knew Blaine the best, but Matty immediately took the side of Tough Guy. "What a bitch," Matty said when Blaine was done. "Dude, you don't want that. I know you think you do, but he cheated on his boyfriend and he'll probably cheat on you. Fuck him, man. He's a slut."

Blaine got angry again. "Don't talk about him like that. I know you think saying that is helping, but it's not. You don't know him. He's not a slut and he's not a bitch."

"Why are you defending him? He's a fucking cheater and a liar and he played you. Why aren't you the one saying those things?"

"Because none of it is true. I mean, yes, he cheated on Vin and lied to him, but he never once lied to _me_. We were honest from the very start and he didn't lead me on. I knew there was the possibility that he might not choose me. The honest truth right now is that even though I knew he might not have chosen me, I still wanted him to. That's what hurts. That he didn't choose me. Not that I didn't see this coming. So, please don't bash him and think that it'll make me feel better because it won't."

"Would getting laid make you feel better? Because that always helps me," Matty offered as help. He was both serious and joking. Nick rolled his eyes because that was a stupid thing to suggest to Blaine. He knew Blaine through Blaine's slutty phase and sex never solved anything for Blaine. "It'd be fun. We can all go to a bar and pick out a nice twink for you to fuck and then ditch in the A.M."

Blaine rubbed his eyes and dragged his fingers down his cheeks. "Um… thanks? But, um… no thanks."

"Why not, man?"

Nick nudged Matty.

"Th-that's not my thing."

"But sleeping with someone part of a relationship is?"

"Dude, shut up," Nick shushed Matty. "You're not helping and if he said no, then it's no."

"Fine. I was only trying to help."

Blaine itched his head. "I know. It's fine. I just… I just want to do my own thing and handle this the only way I know how."

"That's cool, Blaine. No worries," Nick said. He was clearly better at comforting his friend than Matty was. Matty was as straight as straight could be and still didn't quite know how to have gay friends. He just thought all men were the same.

But Blaine wasn't the same. He was sensitive underneath his strength and was still a little innocent despite all the reality and life he's lived. He expressed himself completely and purely in everyway he knew how because that's who he was. He had feelings so he felt and felt deeply. That was unknown part of the allure of Blaine Anderson. Once a man would get past the original shock and awe of the pure, handsome, sexiness that he exuded, he would immediately be drawn in by Blaine's childlike wonder for all things beautiful. Blaine was beauty, though he didn't know it. That only added to what made everyone fall in love with him. Blaine's only problem with himself at the moment was that the only beauty he saw, was Kurt. Kurt's beautiful outside that matched his beautiful inside. Sure, Kurt had some short comings and made mistakes, but Kurt didn't make those mistakes with moral thrown to the wind. He made them with guilt ridden fear and that made him the same as Blaine: an innocent.

Maybe Kurt didn't want to be forgiven. Maybe he wanted to feel pain because he knew he was hurting other people in the process and felt that that he shouldn't be free of it. Blaine knew. Kurt didn't want to be told that what he was doing was okay because if he believed that it was, then hurting someone, like Vin, that cared about him and possibly loved him, would be acceptable and should Vin's pain should mean nothing. When Kurt's problems came to a fork, he chose the one that would make himself suffer more. He punished himself for caring about two men when he should only care about one.

Blaine was sure that there was more to it, but right now, these thoughts came to him and made things a little more clear. Blaine wasn't the one less wanted. He was just the one that would hold Kurt less accountable for Kurt's wrong doings. Blaine saw that now.

* * *

><p><strong>PLEASE REVIEW!<strong>

**TUMBLR: GRACE-RYAN**


	24. Chapter 24

**I know it's been a while. Sorry. I moved, work was crazy, I didn't have internet, and my power cord blew up. But I finally finished chapter 24 for you and it's extra long.**

**That being said...**

**This chapter or Vin's actions might seem a little out of place, but all will be revealed by the end of the chapter and over the next couple chapters. So, Vin isn't OOC, he's just out of the norm from what we normaly see.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 24**

Kurt continued to try to make do on being the best boyfriend he could be for Vin. He thought that maybe if he was more attentive and kept all of his promises, it would make up for his infidelity. So far, nothing quenched his guilt, but he kept trying anyway. He spoke with Sterling about needing a week off and Sterling begrudgingly agreed because he never liked it when Kurt wasn't around. Kurt was his best, and frankly his favorite, worker. Kurt pleaded that his reason for needed personal time was important and he promised to make up the loss when he came back.

When Sterling agreed, Kurt called Vin and made plans to visit him. He'd only visited a couple times for two days at a time, but each time, Kurt never went anywhere. He'd never really met any of Vin's friends. He'd met two in passing when they were at a star bucks, but mostly it was just Kurt and Vin staying in Vin's apartment watching movies and having lots of sex. Come to think of it, Kurt was hardly ever clothed when he went to see Vin. He put on boxers for dinner, but then after dinner they'd be off again because Vin was "hungry for something else," he'd always say with a grin.

But now he'd have a week with Vin and Vin promised Kurt he'd show him around town properly and he'd bring him to a party his friends were having, stating that "it might not be your thing, but if you really want to go, I'll bring you." Kurt didn't know what he meant by that, but said that he really wanted to meat Vin's friends, so "yes, I really want to go." Then there was the dinner he was supposed to have with Vin's family. He was nervous about that because they were the a-typical unsupportive family of a gay man, but Kurt had met his fair share of those people and could handle himself. All he really had to do was be polite and mature. Oh, also, he learned from past experiences, that if he didn't look or gaze lovingly at his partner, the family won't cringe. _Just eat your dinner and compliment everyone._ _Kill them with kindness and if they same something rude, just shrug your shoulders and let it roll off your back. His family isn't going to offend you. They're going to offend him and you need to be strong and supportive for him._ That was that. Kurt knew how to do that and was pretty damn good at it.

Since he had to work on a Sunday night, he caught a bus on Monday. Vin had to work because Kurt's trip had been last minute and Vin couldn't get the week off to spend the whole time with him. Kurt arrived while Vin was working, so he took a cab to Vin's apartment and let himself in with the key that Vin told him was under the welcome mat.

The apartment was just as it had been the last two times he arrived. The bedroom was littered with dirty towels and laundry on the floor. The bed wasn't made. Dishes were on the coffee table. The kitchen was a mess. Well, really, the whole apartment was a mess. Kurt knew he shouldn't really care, but he knew that whenever Vin was going to visit him in the past, he made damn sure that everything looked pristine. Living for that one month with Vin, he knew that Vin wasn't the cleanest of people, but Kurt was really able to see the extent of his dirty habits when he came to visit.

He really wanted to clean because he thought it would be a nice gesture for his man to come home to a clean apartment, but didn't know if Vin would be offended by thinking that Kurt might feel that Vin lived in squalor. That wasn't true. Kurt just thought that Vin had dirty habits. "This definitely had to change when you move in, Mister," Kurt said aloud to himself. "Puck would never stay quiet if our apartment looked even close to this."

Instead, he picked up a little of the living room and stripped down to his boxers as a surprise for Vin. He knew, knowing Vin, that his clothes would be off shortly after he came home anyway. That was always how it went. Vin came to home, his bags were dropped, then he dropped Kurt's pants. Kurt was starting to wonder if the main basis of their relationship revolved around sex.

He was right. Vin came home and only uttered four sentences before he was naked and being ravished by Vin. They were as follows:

1. Hey, Baby, I'm home.

2. I'm so glad you're here.

3. I missed you.

4. You read my mind.

Kurt was exhausted by the time dinner time rolled around because Vin's love for him was insatiable and Kurt just passed out eventually.

Vin had to work again on Tuesday so Kurt was left to himself around the apartment again. This time he cleaned because he couldn't stand the mess anymore, but by noon he was bored and flicking mindlessly through the day time television line-up. Nothing caught his attention. He tried to go on the internet with Vin's computer, but he couldn't because the computer was password protected, which Kurt thought was odd because Vin lived alone.

He decided on a walk because he really needed the fresh air. So, he got dressed and grabbed the spare key. Vin's neighborhood really was nice looking for a main street neighborhood. It was busy, even for the middle of the day, and Kurt was looking around like he did the first time he was in New York. Only, Vin's small Vermont town wasn't as exciting.

He stopped in front of a flower shop and looked in the window at the different arrangements. A trio of three men passed by him and one of them whistled flirtatiously. Thinking it was odd, Kurt turned his head toward the three men. They had stopped at the corner and faced Kurt. One man, Kurt assumed was the whistler, grabbed his crotch and yelled out to Kurt. "Wanna suck on this, homo?"

Kurt made a disgusted face, mainly because the man was so gross: dirty and greasy hair, three days old stubble, what looked like a layer of grime all over his skin and clothes. _I've seen plenty of homeless people that look way better than this guy. _He made a grossed out sound, rolled his eyes, and walked away to the sound of the three men laughing. _I never understood why stuff like that is funny_, Kurt thought._ What if I said yes?_ He cringed at the thought as if that was even an option. _Would they have thought it was funny then? What's so funny about it? That guy made a pass at me and I rejected him. By the looks of him, he'd be lucky to get anyone who'd think he was a viable option, let alone me._ His thoughts went on and on until he reached a Starbucks about a half mile away. He sighed happily at the scent of coffee grounds. He missed New York already.

He lounged in a chair with a hot non-fat mocha and sip it while flipping through a magazine. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out. Kurt smiled and answered it merrily. "Hello there, lover."

"Hey. What are you doing?"

"Sitting in Starbucks and drinking coffee. Your apartment got too cramped for me."

"You went out?"

"Well, I _am_ out, so yes. Is that okay?"

Vin's voice sounded a bit frantic like Kurt shouldn't have left the apartment. "Did you talk to anyone?"

"Um. No. Just the barista, but our conversation was limited to my order. Why?" Kurt asked sounding suspicious.

"N-Nothing. Just didn't think you'd be out."

"Like I said… stuffy apartment. What are we doing for dinner?"

"I thought we'd order delivery and hang in? Catch up for lost time?"

There was a wink on the other side of the phone, Kurt could tell. He knew what Vin meant. _That man is insatiable. _"Didn't we play catch up last night?"

"Getting bored with me already?"

"No. Just thought we'd do something different."

"I'll take you out tomorrow. I have the day off and tomorrow night is my friend's party."

"Promise? I know I've only been here for two days, but I'm not used to spending so much time in doors."

"That's because you spend so much time on subways and theaters."

"I also don't spend so much time alone, sweet heart. Hey, why do you have a password on your computer?"

"I do? Oh, I must have turned it on by accident."

"You sure you're not trying to hide something from me?" Kurt was kidding, but the pause Vin took made Kurt start to believe that maybe Vin was hiding something from him.

By Wednesday night, Kurt was really beginning to be suspicious of Vin's actions. When Vin promised to take Kurt out, he didn't think that Vin would take him somewhere a hour and a half away just to see a movie and have an early dinner. Although, Kurt saw a sign for a petting zoo on their way back and begged Vin to turn around so they could go.

Vin rolled his eyes and agreed with a smile, but when they got there, Vin barely acknowledged Kurt at all. He kept his hands in his pockets and seemed to keep an awkward distance. He also kept looking around as if he thought someone was watching him.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked as he scratched behind a sheep's ear. The sheep tilted its head to nuzzle Kurt's fingers more. "You're acting strange."

"Yeah. Fine."

"You know, you can touch the animals. It is called a petting zoo."

"I've touched them before."

"Okay, well I'm not going to bite, so you can come closer to me too whenever you feel like it."

"It smells here." Vin was avoiding the topic.

Kurt sighed and let it go. He stood up and started walking to the next pen of sheep. "It's a petting zoo, Vin. They have farm animals here. It smells like a farm." He paused. "Be right back."

Kurt went over to a kiosk and bought what were ice cream cones, but the worker filled it with animal feed. Kurt brought them back over to Vin and handed one to him.

"What's this for?" Vin asked.

"You feed the animals with it. Have you ever been to one of these before?" Kurt crouched down and poured a little feed into his hand and let the sheep eat from it. He giggled when the sheep's lips and whiskers tickled his palm. _This was supposed to be fun_, he thought. He kept trying, but Vin didn't seem to want to spend time with him. He didn't understand. Two days ago he was telling Kurt how much he missed him, now he wouldn't even stand next to Kurt for more than a few minutes.

They made it to the chicken coop and Vin's mood hadn't changed. He constantly kept looking around at people and cars passing by. Kurt was holding a baby chick in the palm of his hand and petting it with one finger. "You're not having very much fun are you?"

"I'm tired."

"How can you not being having fun," Kurt grabbed Vin's hand and put the chick in it, "when you have a baby chicken in the palm of your hand?" The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Vin looked down at the chick and the yellow bird stared back up at him like it was in love.

"Hi, Chick," Vin said blandly. The chick promptly squeaked back right on cue.

Kurt smiled. "See? She likes you."

"Sorry, Chick. I prefer cock-a-doodle roosters." The comment made Kurt laugh, but Vin immediately started looking around. They were far from anyone else at the moment. He put the chicken back with the other baby chicks. "Chickens are dirty."

Kurt stuck his bottom lip out and looked at the chick he held in his hands now. "Shh, they're right here. They can hear you. You're not dirty are you, baby chick? No. I didn't think so."

"Can we go now?" Vin asked with no enthusiasm.

Kurt sighed again and put the chicken back. "Sure, Vin. We can go." He had been in Vermont with Vin for three days now and Vin was giving Kurt the impression that he wished Kurt never came. Vin kept Kurt hidden in his apartment and acted distant and lethargic in public. He acted like he couldn't be bothered with anything that had to do with Kurt besides sex. _Oh well. We'll see how this party goes tonight. Maybe his friends will liven him up a bit and he'll be fun again._

The party was not what Kurt expected. The New York parties he'd gone to where themed or decorated to look like a rave. Those were festive. This was… a gathering. There were plenty of men, more than Kurt wanted to try to keep a head count on, and they all looked different. Some were twinkish, like Kurt, others were butch. Some wore leather like at a kink party, some looked perfectly normal, some looked over the top feminine with bad make-up jobs, and a few were, well, a few were naked. So far, none of these men were the nice gay couple that Kurt met the first time he visited Vin: Tyler and Spencer.

It didn't take long to realize that everyone knew Vin and everyone enjoyed flirting with Vin right in front of Kurt. Then, when Vin introduced Kurt as his boyfriend, the attention would, more often than not, turn to Kurt and Kurt would be able to feel their eyes appraising him like an Armani collection. It was one thing to be checked out, but these men were open with their hungry eyes and not even being coy about it. Kurt didn't like the way some men touched Vin or leaned into close for comfort to say something to him. He especially didn't like it when it was being done to him. After a conversation with a man, who named himself Joanna for the night; Vin explained that his real name was Brian and he changed his name every time he came; Vin offered to get Kurt a drink, but Kurt politely declined. Vin left him in the living room for a minute only, but it was that minute that Kurt knew what a fish in a fishbowl felt like. In a three hundred and sixty degree view, all the men were oggling him like they were ready to start the auction of who gets to take Kurt first. Then he heard the moaning and pounding down the hall and he realized that a large number of men that he had already met were missing. Vin came back and a light bulb went on in his head.

"Vin, what kind of party is this?"

"A gay one." He took a sip of water from a bottle.

"Yes, I know. But what are all these people here for? No one's dancing and nearly half the people are missing."

"That's because they're in those rooms back there." Vin pointed to a hallway.

"You mean they're…?"

"They're having sex. What did you think they were doing? Think of it like the back room in Jericho."

"I've never been there." Kurt was making a 'how could I be this stupid and naïve' look. "It took me up until now to realize why these men were staring at me like I was fresh meat."

"It's a compliment," Vin joked. "They want you because you're hot." He pinched Kurt's ass gently.

Kurt jumped at the touch. "Don't do that. Not here."

"But this is the perfect place to do that." Vin went to touch Kurt again, but Kurt swatted his hands away.

"No. It's not perfect and those men staring at me is not a compliment. It's creepy and it's predatory. I don't like it."

"I told you it wasn't your type of thing," Vin said sheepishly.

"You could have told me why. When you said a gay party I assumed you meant a get together with gay guys… Not a gay orgy."

It was that moment that two men approached Kurt and Vin. Vin introduced them as Jake and Owen. Kurt gulped when he caught the starry eyed look Owen was giving him. "Vin, sweetie, it's been a while," Jake greeted.

Vin scratched his head. "Uh. Yeah." He glanced at Kurt. "Been busy."

"Lucky you." Jake turned back to Kurt and appraised him. "Owen here was wondering if you were willing to share."

There were no words. Kurt lost his breath and ability to speak. His eyebrows went up in shock and he looked at Vin. _Save me,_ he screamed in his head. Vin, on the other hand was thinking of a nice way to get out of the offer. Jake and he had a history. Jake was his first to be precise. He felt it was important to be nice to Jake at least. "Uh, Kurt here… he doesn't do threesomes."

"Pity." Jake tsked. "Well then. Owen here can take really good care of this pretty one. And you can come with me and we'll play that little game we used to play together." Owen stepped closer and gently held Kurt's hand.

Kurt's eyes widened. Having sex with one strange man while Vin was having sex with someone else was something that Kurt liked even less than having sex with two strange men. For a second only, Kurt caught the look in Vin's eyes that said "It's okay with me if we agree on this together." It mortified Kurt.

Vin read Kurt's expression. He turned back to Jake. "I'm afraid we're going to decline. Sorry, Boys." He grabbed Kurt and wrapped his arms around him. "This one's a little new to this."

"All the more reason to partake," Jake insisted.

"No thank you," Kurt barked, finally finding his voice.

Jake tsked again. "Pity. You're a pretty one." He gave Kurt one last look and left with Owen, who was now pouting.

Kurt broke out of Vin's arms and gave him a death stare. "We're leaving."

"Okay." Kurt didn't bother saying goodbye to anyone he met and rushed out of the apartment. At the bottom of the staircase, Vin caught up to him.

"Kurt, I'm sorry. You said you wanted to meet my friends."

"_Friends_?" Kurt exclaimed. "Those aren't friends. Those are fuck buddies."

"Look, I understand why you're mad. Jake and Owen, they're a couple. They have this sub/dom thing going on. I think you were meant to be some sort of gift for Owen."

"_GIFT_?"

"Yeah. When Owen is good, Jake gifts him with something or someone he wants. I'm guessing that by the way he was looking at you, he wanted to cash his gift in on you. That's why he didn't talk. He wasn't told he could."

"Okay, first off, the fact that you think Jake and Owen are the reason I'm pissed is insane. And second, I'm angry because you were okay with giving me to Owen. I'm yours, but not yours to give away. I'm not your property. And fuck you if you think I'd be okay with knowing you're fucking some other guy in the next room over. You should have just said no from the start. Wait, no. I take that back. You should have told me that you participate in fucking orgies!"

"I don't. I mean, I did, but I stopped going when I started dating you."

"Why? That up there. It seemed so gross. All those men were staring at me like I was a glass of wine in a room full of alcoholics. So, what? If I wanted to, I could have had sex with all of those men and you would have been okay with it?"

"If that's what you wanted. I mean, if that was our agreement. You could have one if I could have one."

"Ugh, you're making me sick. Is our sex life that boring to you?"

"No!"

"Well go ahead. Go fuck whomever you want up there; you have my blessing. I'm going back to your apartment."

Kurt stormed out the front door and Vin caught up to him again. "No! That's not- Shit, this is so messed up. I don't want anyone else! I want you. I just meant that if that's what _you_ wanted, I'd be okay with it."

"I don't _want_ you to be okay with it. I want you to give a shit if I fuck someone else."

"I do. I give a shit. I give lots of shits. I don't want you to be with anyone, but me. Kurt, I love you. I love you so much. Please. I didn't anticipate things going this way tonight. We'll go back to the apartment and cuddle up with a movie and popcorn? Anything you want."

"I want to go back to your apartment, take another shower because I feel disgusting, then go to bed."

"Sure. Okay. Anything you want, Kurt. I'm so sorry." Vin jumped forward and hugged Kurt tightly.

Kurt was still fuming so he barely touched Vin any more than needed.

The car ride back to Vin's apartment was completely silent. Neither man said anything and Kurt said nothing before jumping in the shower. He didn't wash anything. Kurt found himself just standing underneath the hot water. Nearly twenty minutes passed and Vin came in the bathroom. They looked at each other through the clear shower curtain and Vin started taking his clothes off.

He stepped into the shower with Kurt and grabbed Kurt's loofa. He poured soap all over it and started washing Kurt gently, and tenderly. Kurt sighed in defeat and let Vin do this for him since he'd made no motion to do it himself.

Another twenty minutes after that, Kurt was pressed up against the shower wall and Vin was thrusting into him moaning "I'm sorry," "I love you," and a string of expletives and compliments to Kurt. During those minutes of pleasure, Kurt had all, but forgotten everything that had made him mad to begin with.

It was only when he fell asleep in Vin's arms that he remembered. _Oh yeah. He brought me to a gay orgy to meet all his friends that he's slept with and thought I would be okay with being a swinger… We'll be talking about this again later._

Thursday came and went with the two of them walking on egg shells around each other. Vin was trying to be extra sweet and even brought Kurt flowers and wouldn't stop apologizing. Kurt was trying to see things from Vin's perspective, so he remained appreciative of all the things Vin tried to do.

On Friday, Vin wanted to take Kurt out for breakfast because since Kurt loved diners so much in New York, maybe he'd want to try a small town diner, "where everything tastes like your mama used to make it," Vin tailed on the end. Something about Vin's entire sales pitch bothered Kurt because it was like Vin either forgot everything Kurt said about his past, or didn't care. Kurt was from a small town so he knew what small town diners were like compared to New York City diners. Also, his mother died when he was eight. The fact that Vin jokingly used that as reason for Kurt liking the diner really _really _got under his skin. He was bothered, but he kept it inside. _No use trying to start another fight_, he thought.

Kurt was finding that when they stayed in and hung out around the house, Vin was great to be around most of the time, but when they went out or spent time with Vin's friends, Vin was like a different person. Kurt didn't like the dual personality that Vin showed. He could get used to not presenting themselves as a couple in public because he was from a small town too and knew what was expected. He could maybe even get used to watching Vin be overly flirtatious with his friends. But the one thing he couldn't get used to was the way Vin acted in public. It seemed a little overkill because Vin often acted like Kurt wasn't even there even though they got out of the same car. In addition to that, Vin was easily irritable and often rude until they were back behind a shut door in Vin's apartment.

Taking all that into consideration, Kurt didn't really want to go out to breakfast because after having spent the one day in public with Vin already, he hardly wanted to go through being treated like a stranger all over again. But he agreed to go anyway because Vin was trying to make up for Wednesday night. Vin was nuzzling and kissing Kurt's neck and jaw line while cooing and making excuses about how he wanted to show Kurt his favorite place to eat. "Please?" Vin asked with voice that was so cute that Kurt couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. Then Vin started kissing lower and lower and Kurt soon forgot all about his reasons for not wanting to go out because his blood flow was being focused more in the head that was currently being sucked by Vin and not the one that contained a brain.

So, Kurt agreed to go and stayed silent about his issues because be wanted to forego another argument and he was too blissed out from the blow job he received. He didn't know what was going on in Vin's head, so Kurt tried to let it go because it was probably just innocent and Kurt was maybe being too critical and sensitive. If Kurt was one to believe in signs, his uneasiness should have been the first one to mean that they shouldn't have gone out in the first place.

When they got to the diner, Vin, who used to either open Kurt's door or wait for him to get out before advancing further, walked past Kurt like he didn't care at all. Then he didn't open the door to the diner for him. That was something really nit-picky; Kurt knew that, but those were things that Vin normally did and Kurt couldn't understand what was making Vin act differently. The waitress came over to get their drink orders and Kurt smiled up at the older woman and asked for an orange juice and a cup of coffee. "Uh, yeah," Vin cleared his throat. "Same."

Was Kurt mistaken or did Vin just lower his voice? He thought back to something Carol had told Kurt back in high school about dating: "Try to pay attention to the way the guy treats the waitress because in ten years, that's how he'll treat you." He'd been out plenty of times with Vin and not once had he ever acted like this. Vin had barely acknowledged the woman at all. "Careful," Kurt grinned, trying to make the tone lighter. "If you treat the waitress bad, she'll spit in your food." Kurt reached forward to cover Vin's hand on the table, but Vin slid his hand away before Kurt had a chance to make contact. He knew the thing about waitresses wasn't true, but he said it once to Finn and it made Finn be super nice to waitresses every single time he went out for food.

"What are you doing?" Vin asked in a hushed tone.

"Trying to be funny because you look grumpy."

"I'm not grumpy, but I was talking about the other thing."

"What other thing?" Vin held up his hand for a second. "I always do that."

Vin's eyes quickly flicked around the room. "Well, don't."

"Don't what?" Kurt was getting annoyed again and this time he couldn't contain it, though he stayed quiet for whatever reason Vin was staying quiet for.

"Don't touch me. Not here."

Kurt raised his eyebrows in shock. He couldn't believe his ears; things were slowly moving into place for Kurt to understand. "Then why did you take me here?" He stared talking through clenched teeth.

"Their food it my favorite. Don't be angry. I'll explain later."

"You'll explain-" The waitress came back over with their drinks and Kurt looked up at her and smiled, immediately changing his expression and tone. "Thank you," he said cheerily.

"You're welcome, Sweetie. You guys know what you want?"

Kurt hadn't even looked at the menu. He glanced at the specials board behind the waitress. "Scrambled egg wrap with ham, please."

"The usual for you, Vinny?" the waitress asked.

"You know me so well," Vin said with a barely there smile. The waitress left.

"Vinny?" Kurt asked.

"It's what they call me here."

"What's the usual?"

"Poached eggs dropped on Rye toast with homefries and sausage."

"I don't think I've ever seen you order that. It's very," Kurt shook his head as he thought, "Meat and potatoes, I guess."

"It's my favorite thing they make." Though their conversation was casual, Vin's tone hadn't changed. His voice was definitely lower than normal and he just seemed agitated about something.

"I didn't think you liked sausage," Kurt mentioned nonchalantly. Then he smiled and tried to lighten the mood again. "Well, except for when you-"

"_Kurt,_" Vin said shortly.

"What?" Kurt's smile went away. He didn't understand. He was just trying to make Vin smile.

"Don't. Not here."

Kurt sighed and sat back in his chair. He thought that asking why would be a losing battle and useless. "What's the point of going out somewhere if you're going to be mad? An outing is supposed to be fun."

"_Kurt,_" Vin said again, looking up from his placemat. "Stop."

He was getting angry. He hadn't done anything to warrant Vin acting this way and Vin wouldn't talk to him. He had half a thought to just get up and walk out because he didn't know how much he'd be able to take of whatever this was.

They sat in silence until their food came with Kurt looking at the people around him and glancing out the window at the people passing by. Everyone pretty much looked like the people did in Lima: Normal people that are happy with the every day grind of a small town. It was nothing to look down upon. It just wasn't Kurt's thing. He was a hustle and bustle type of person. New York was exciting and fast and unpredictable. Ohio was not for him. Vermont was not for him. That wasn't to say that either one wasn't beautiful or perfect for other people.

Kurt had only taken one bite before three men walked over and clapped Vin on the back. "Vinny!"

Vin put his fork down and actually smiled for the first time. "What's goin' on guys?" He glanced back over to Kurt and his eyes hardened. Kurt knew what Vin would have said if he could say it out loud. _Don't say anything stupid._

Was Vin embarrassed by Kurt? Kurt took a sip of water.

"Where've you been? Haven't seen you around much since school let out," said one man wearing a high school athletics department t-shirt.

"Yeah, I heard you put in your letter of resignation," said another.

"What?" the third asked with his eyebrows mashed together. "You didn't say anything like that to me. Is it true?"

Vin cleared his throat. "Yeah. I'm, uh," another grunt from clearing his throat uncomfortably. "I'm moving to New York. Something different, you know."

"When the hell were you planning on telling your family, Vinny?"

Vin took a sip of his coffee and glanced at Kurt. "Uh, guys this is Kurt. Kurt, this is Jerry, Rich, and Connor. They work in the high school and Connor's my brother."

Kurt sat up straight. "Oh, hi!" He stuck out his hand and immediately found the three men shaking his hand back with enormous strength. It kind of hurt.

"Who's this guy?" Rich asked.

"Oh. Kurt. Kurt's a friend of mine."

Kurt flicked his eyes over to Vin and his face hardened because all he heard was _friend_. In an instant he understood. This went far beyond being treated like he did something wrong. Now he was being treated like someone Vin didn't care deeply for. Kurt was pissed. He listened to Vin weave a story about meeting Kurt in college and Kurt was in town for an interview for the middle school, so he was showing him around town for a few days.

After a few minutes, the three men left and Vin looked at Kurt with the same tight lipped expression, but there was a hint of shame in it. "You have _got_ to be kidding me," Kurt said.

"Kurt, you don't understand."

"Your own family and friends don't know?" Kurt was leaning in to be extra quiet.

"It's not that simple."

"You're thirty. You live in a liberal state that was the first to legalize civil unions in the U.S."

"That really doesn't mean much when-"

"They don't even know that you're moving in with me let alone moving at all?"

"I-I…"

"When were you planning on telling me that you're still in the fucking closet?"

"I don't know. I…"

"You wanted me to meet your family. You said you wanted me there for support. What were you planning on doing? Introducing me as your friend again? Or coming out and then saying 'Oh, by the way, I'm gay and the guy I brought with me is my boyfriend. I'm moving in with him in New York in a couple months. Please pass the butter?'"

Even though Kurt was speaking as softly as he could manage, Vin was still paranoid enough to keep looking around to see if other people could hear or were trying to listen in on their conversation. "I was going to tell them when we went over."

"When were you going to tell me that? You lied to me, Vin, about all of this. You painted a picture that told me you were out and proud despite having no real support. And what was that thing about your mother's birthday party? What was that supposed to be about? You gave me all the wrong impressions and information."

"I know. I'm sorry. Can we just talk about this when we get back home?"

"This isn't my home, Vin, and according to you, home is in New York too. But maybe I shouldn't believe that now."

"Just- please. Can we drop this for now? I don't want-"

"What? Someone to hear that you're-"

"Yes. Please." Vin was begging, but oddly enough, his expression hadn't changed much. Kurt chalked it up to years or decades of practice of pretending to be an awful excuse of a straight person. There was such a thing as a non-butch, pleasant, straight guy, but apparently Vin didn't think he could pull it off. Vin had gone with being rude and mean. Kurt didn't like the person in front of him.

"Do you have any idea how if feels to listen to you say I was your-" he gulped and finished the sentence like the last word was poison, "_friend_?"

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? Fuck you." Kurt stood up and walked out of the diner.

He wasn't exactly sure where he was going. He knew the diner was far away enough to have to drive, but didn't exactly know where Vin lived in relation to where he was standing. Kurt took a breath and sighed in relief because after two blocks, he saw someone getting out of a taxi. He knew how taxis worked in places that weren't in cities and they didn't work the same. He quickly ran up to it and approached the driver. "Hey, I'm sorry. I know you probably have a schedule or someplace to go already, but I'll pay you double if you can fit me in right now."

The young twenty-something shrugged his shoulders. "Sure. Hop in."

"Thanks."

"No problem. I didn't have another call yet to go anywhere."

Kurt told him the address and it took no more than ten minutes to reach Vin's apartment complex. Thankfully, Vin was not there. While Kurt was waiting in the back seat, his anger only grew and he couldn't even think straight. All he could think of was how he didn't want to be around Vin right now and needed some time and space away from him. "Hey," he started when they reached their destination. "Um, do you have another location you have to get to right away?"

"No, why? You need to get someplace else?"

"Uh, yeah. Um. Would you mind waiting here a few minutes? I need to get something. Then could I get a ride to the bus station?"

"Sure, man. Tell you what. You said you'd tip me double, so I'll turn the meter off while I wait."

"Wow. Thanks. I'll be right out." Kurt rushed upstairs to Vin's apartment and plucked the spare key from under the doormat. He rushed around the apartment grabbing his things and shoving them into his suitcase. It didn't take too long. Then he grabbed a piece of paper and scrolled a note. "I think we need some time to think. I went home to New York. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk." He ripped the paper off the pad and folded it and made a tent of the paper on the kitchen table so that Vin would see it when he walked into the kitchen. Then he rushed back out the door and locked the apartment before he stuffed himself and his suitcase back into the taxi.

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><p><strong>Again, I know Vin seems a little OOC, but I promise everything will be explained. He's not out of the story yet and we will learn a lot more about him. Stay tuned!<strong>

**BTW sorry to all those Vin lovers out there... I sort of made him a douche this chapter**

Please review!

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	25. Chapter 25

**This chapter takes place the same night that Kurt was at the party with Vin.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 25<strong>

**Blaine**

Blaine went to work on Wednesday for his usual shift and as he passed by the box office he noticed that Kurt wasn't in it. The young college girl, Pepper, was sitting at the desk arranging programs. He didn't know Pepper very well and didn't want it to seem weird if he asked where Kurt was, so he just kept on walking. Kurt hadn't turned up at all that day for work and Blaine wondered if Kurt was sick. He thought about calling him, but remembered that they were taking an unofficial break from each other and put his phone back in his pocket.

During intermission for the show, some of the crew and orchestra members asked Blaine if he wanted to hang out with them after work. They were going to a place called Cabaret. Blaine laughed before he told them that he knew Cabaret well because he used to work there, but thought about it and decided to go. He hadn't done anything recently that didn't involve his roommates or Kurt and thought he was due a night out. His only problem was that Landon, the flirtatious guy that was always eyeing him in the orchestra, was among the people going.

After work, he went home, and changed his clothes to something he hadn't worn in a while. He grabbed a pair of light blue jeans that weren't too tight or too baggy, but really showed off how perky his ass was. Then he put on a tight blank tank top, a white button down shirt that he kept un buttoned, and topped the look off with a while gold chain. He decided that his hair was still presentable and finely coifed from before work. He splashed on some cologne and headed back out. He met everyone outside of Cabaret, where a handful of them were smoking cigarettes. They went in as a group and headed for the bar first. Blaine hopped halfway onto the bar and greeted Santana with a kiss on the cheek because it had been so long since he'd seen her. She offered to give him the first drink free and he gladly accepted.

After a half hour, he had to admit that he was actually having fun. It was nice to go out and have some drinks and laugh with a different crowd for a change. He did feel that he'd been avoiding Landon because he didn't particularly want to deal with his attention, but when a barely twenty-one year old violinist, named Charles, batted eyes at him, Blaine sweetly smiled back, but didn't give the boy much more attention than that.

He spotted the Barbara Streisand girl that he used to see there all the time and remembered her as being Kurt's sister in law. He'd only met her a couple times when Kurt used to come every night with her. It wasn't enough to be able to say that he knew her, but it was enough to say they were acquainted. He glanced around and for a second, thought that maybe he was there with Rachel. Blaine excused himself from his group for a second and went over to Rachel's table.

"Hi," he said cheerily. "Rachel."

Rachel looked up and smiled. "Blaine! Hi! It's been awhile. How are you?"

"Good. Is Kurt with you?"

Rachel looked a little puzzled. She thought Blaine and Kurt were like best friends now. Surely he would know where Kurt was. "Um. No. Kurt's in Vermont with Vin. Didn't he tell you?"

Blaine faked a smile. "Oh. No. We haven't had a whole lot of time to catch up these days," he lied. "Oh well. I'm sure he's having a good time." They conversed for a few seconds more before Blaine rejoined his friends.

He tried to pretend that he wasn't a little jealous and upset because twice last week, he over heard Kurt on the phone with Vin at work and they were arguing about something involving Puck and another thing he didn't try to catch. He didn't get it. Last week fighting, this week visiting and probably meeting Vin's family like Kurt told Vin he would. He downed the rest of his drink, ordered another, and finished that one quickly. The more he tried to forget, the less he was able to and the more he tried not to focus on the fact that he was mad that Kurt was with Vin, the more it became apparent that Blaine was actually mad that Kurt wasn't with _him._ He drank some more and it was during the announcer's break that he saw Blaine and went up to him with a gleeful smile.

They chatted and the longer they talked, the more Blaine's alcoholic buzz started to kick in. He remembered from his college years that drinking while he was angry was _not_ the best policy because drunk and angry Blaine turned into someone that Blaine never wanted to be again. He wanted to remain sweet, bashful Blaine and playful, non cocky Blaine. Drunk and angry Blaine would eventually turn into drunk and horny Blaine, which meant he would be asshole Blaine. He hated that version of himself.

But he was mad, not at Kurt and not at Vin. He was mad at himself for being so mad. He knew he had no reason to be upset, except for the sole reason that Vin had Kurt and he didn't. He thought he was doing fine. They parted ways as friends, though Blaine hid his pain well, they were civil at work and friendly, and he was good about not staring anymore, though he caught himself from time to time. The truth was that he missed Kurt more than he could say and he just wanted to forget. For one night, he wanted to forget everything. One night where there was no emotional attachment to anything or anyone and no giddy, romantic fantasies that he was now figuring out would not happen. He didn't want to love tonight. He wanted to forget. So he drank.

When Cabaret closed, Blaine insisted on going dancing. A handful of the group decided to go and the others were tired and wanted to go home.

"You work at Jericho, right?" Landon asked.

"Yeah," Blaine answered.

"Good, so you can get us in without a cover charge at the door?"

"Probably. Let's go." They all caught cabs, stuffing as many of them as they could into the least amount of vehicles.

It wasn't a long ride before they were all dancing to the thump thump of the music and drinking more and more. Blaine's vision was starting to spin. His plan to drink himself into oblivion was working. He felt nothing. Well, he felt no emotions. He did however, feel the hands and bodies of those pressing themselves to him as they danced. He often had no idea who he danced with and he didn't particularly care. As a consequence of the dancing and the many men grinding against both sides of his body, he was increasingly growing more aroused. He didn't have plans to go home with anyone or end up in the backroom like so many others. He'd go home eventually and jerk off, then probably pass out.

Blaine was beginning to feel dizzy and left two men who were pretty much dry humping him and kissing each side of his neck. He stumbled over to the bar and walked around behind it. He didn't care that he wasn't working. The bartenders knew him. One of them was Matty. Matty stopped him.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"On my way to blacking out, I think."

"That's not exactly something to aspire to, man." Matty quickly filled up a cup with water. "Drink this."

Blaine gulped down the whole cup. "Bleck! This doesn't have alcohol in it."

"Would you be able to taste it otherwise by now?" He filled up another cup.

"I don't want it."

"Drink it or I'm locking you in the office until my shift is over and taking you home myself."

Blaine immediately gulped the water down. "I have to pee."

"Use the staff bathroom."

"Why?" Blaine slurred.

"Actually, no. Go use the customer bathroom. Maybe some lucky guy will relieve whatever you have pent up over Kurt and we'll be cleaning _you _off the wall instead of someone else."

The sound of Kurt's name had a slight sobering effect on Blaine. Whether it was Kurt's name or the water he just drank, he wasn't sure, but the room stopped spinning. He was still very drunk, but his vision was clearer. He felt the anger rising again. Only this time it was drunken anger. Non-sensical anger. He wanted to forget again. He knew Matty would make sure that he didn't drink more unless it was water. He turned and stumbled out back to the staff bathroom and used the restroom. When he came back he saw a bartender that was fairly new and Matty was gone. He said that Matty went to go get ice and Blaine asked for two shots. The bartender gave them to him and Blaine downed them before Matty had time to come back and see.

What Matty had said was still in his head and he couldn't get it out. _Relieve whatever you have pent up about Kurt. Kurt. Kurt. Relieve whatever you have pent up._ He went back to the dance floor and within seconds he felt hands from behind him roaming his body and a groin grinding against his ass to the beat of the music. Blaine leaned back into the body and tilted his head back onto the shoulder behind him. His body felt so warm with the alcohol coursing through him and he was so horny now. He felt lips brush his skin and then fingers tickling the back of his neck to get a grip.

Then those lips were on his and he stopped caring that he was trying to be good. Good Blaine didn't have Kurt and Good Blaine was pining for a man who wanted someone else. Good Blaine was in pain and lonely. Good Blaine was unnecessarily emotional. Good Blaine was now gone for the rest of the night. He turned his body, facing the person he was kissing and arms wound round his neck and waist, pulling Blaine against him. When they parted Blaine opened his eyes and through his drunken haze, he saw the face of Landon. His first instinct was to be pissed, but then it quickly passed when he felt Landon's hand palm him on the outside of his jeans.

"We should take care of that," Landon chimed with a velvet voice.

"I can't fucking stand you."

Landon chuckled and leaned in to kiss Blaine's neck. He nibbled Blaine's ear lobe before whispering, "Who said anything about standing?" He pulled back and cheshired when Blaine turned his face into Landon's and let his lips drag against Landon's jaw line. "As long as you end up on your back or on your knees, I'll be happy."

"You're lucky I'm drunk enough to black out."

"What was that thing you said to me once? Only in my dreams?" He palmed Blaine again.

"I guess dreams do come true to persistent jack-offs." Blaine cupped his hands onto Landon's ass and rolled his body to the beat of the music. "Mention this to anyone and I'll deny it."

"Trust me. Everyone thinks you're wound so tight for Hummel that I wouldn't believe me if I told myself."

"Can we not do the chit chat? The longer I stand here talking to you, the more my buzz wears off."

"Then let's get some booze into you." They walked up to the bar and Blaine held back so Matty wouldn't see him. Landon ordered two tequila shots and handed one off to Blaine. They tossed them back and Landon kissed Blaine with a lemon in his mouth. Blaine pulled the lemon out of his own mouth and kissed Landon again. "Back room?" Landon asked.

"No. Roof. Come on." Blaine grabbed Landon's hand and towed him around back as he looked around for the guys who were working that night. He didn't want to be seen. He wouldn't have gotten in trouble or anything, but he didn't want evidence that this was happening.

They rushed up the stairs toward the offices and passed Blaine's boss, who was currently being blown by one of the go-go dancers. They slipped right passed them without being noticed. The key to the roof was hanging on a nail next to door marked "roof access" and Blaine snatched it and quickly unlocked the door, putting it back on the nail before glancing around behind him again to make sure no one was behind them.

There was another staircase to go up and Blaine propped the door at the top of the stairs, knowing that it would lock behind them. The last thing he wanted was to be locked up on the roof with Landon when he sobered up. He was hoping that he'd drank enough to forget this was even happening. He knew he was angry and jealous and lonely and, yes, sad even. These were the only justifications he could give himself for mindlessly going up to the roof of Jericho with Landon and fucking him senseless. He wanted to feel close to someone for a few moments and Landon was offering. Why not, right? Landon didn't seem like the monogamous type, so what was the harm?

Blaine kept walking until he reached the bordered ledge and looked over the lip of the brick wall that came up to his mid abdomen. Landon did the same. "You afraid of heights?" Blaine asked.

Landon took out a small vial from his pocket and tapped out a small amount of powder onto the skin between his thumb and index finger. He sniffed it into his nostrils and blocked his nose for a second. He smiled. "Are you kidding? I love being up _high_." He wore a sarcastic expression and brought Blaine to his mouth.

Landon's mouth was hot and tasted like alcohol. He kissed Blaine hard and heated. Blaine noted in his mind that Landon was a messy kisser and didn't know if it was because he was drunk or if he just really was a sloppy kisser. He pushed the thought from his mind and ignored the insane amount of alcohol-swollen tongue that was lapping at his own. Their hands were all over each other; grabbing and petting, fisting and scratching.

Blaine heard the clinking sound of Landon's belt and Landon pushed Blaine down to his knees.

Blaine caught a glimpse of Landon's cock and quickly decided that it wasn't anything impressive. Average sized, yet perfectly formed, to say something positive. Honestly, he was just happy to be detached from Landon's mouth. He looked up at Landon from his knees. "I don't blow drug-ees without protection." It wasn't the nicest way to say it, but, fuck, Landon sniffed whatever the powder was up his nose without asking Blaine if he cared. Their inebriated agreement had nothing to do with being nice.

Landon didn't care that Blaine called him a drug-ee. In fact, the harshness of Blaine's drunken attitude was a bit of a turn on. He liked cocky, demanding Blaine better than bashful, boring Blaine. He pulled out a flavored condom from his back pocket. He had taken a couple from the fishbowl at the bar when he ordered a drink earlier. He had hoped it was Blaine he'd be using them with, but honestly, he was so horny that he would have fucked almost anyone there. "Lucky you." he peeled the top off the wrapper with his teeth and handed the rest of the wrapper to Blaine. He made his eyebrows jump flirtatiously. "I came prepared."

Blaine plucked the rubber from the foil and put it in his mouth. _Gross,_ he thought_, watermelon. He had to pick that one?_

Landon watched carefully, his eyes becoming more and more lust blown, as Blaine rolled the condom on with his mouth. He sucked and sucked, rubbing various places on Landon's body as he did so, until he began to feel Landon's stomach tighten. "Don't come yet," Blaine ordered when he took he mouth away.

"Wasn't planning on it," Landon responded with a smile and a wink.

"Got another?" he asked in reference to a condom.

Landon chuckled and pulled another condom from his back pocket. It was the only other one he had. "Am I returning the favor?"

"I'm sure you'd like that, but no."

Landon put two and two together rather quickly for a drunk person. "I don't bottom. I only top."

Blaine chuckled and plucked the condom from Landon's fingers. "Not anymore." He grabbed Landon and spun him around, facing the walled ledge. He bent him over and started kissing and rubbing his back and ass, grinding his clothed cock into Landon's ass now and then.

Landon moaned, still enjoying himself thoroughly and not even caring that he was going to be fucked and it would probably hurt a little. He would rather have been the one to pound himself into Blaine, but he wasn't about to complain. Fucking Blaine was bragging rights as far as he was concerned and he wanted Blaine naked since the second he saw him. "Fuck. Uhng."

"What was that?" Blaine asked playfully as he took his hardened cock out of his pants and rolled the condom on.

"Shit. Fuck. I have a thing of lube in my front pocket. Fuck me. Just fucking fuck me." He moaned again.

"So impatient."

"Fuck you. I want you in my ass now. Uhng. Fuck."

"So much for only being a top." Blaine reached forward and slipped his hand into Landon's right, front pocket and nibbled Landon's ear when he leaned forward. He took out a small packet of lube that Blaine knew to have come from one of the fishbowls downstairs in the bar. He coated himself with a sheen of the slick liquid and wasted no time pulling Landon's pants down.

"Fuck me. Now. Uhng. Fuck me."

Blaine didn't want to be bothered with much more foreplay and really just wanted to get in and get out. Landon clearly didn't care about tenderness and the courtesy of prepping with Blaine's fingers, so Blaine eased himself in slowly without warning. "Holy shit, you're tight!"

"Uhng. Shit shit shit. Fuck you're huge."

Blaine slowly pulled back and thrust back in to the hilt. "Lucky you," he said, repeating Landon's phrase from earlier.

It wasn't long before the sound of slapping skin was heard and Landon was practically screaming in pleasure. If it weren't for the thump thump sound from the Jericho music, people on the street would have surely heard him. Blaine found that Landon liked being pounded hard and definitely was not a soft lover. He wasn't short on swear words and compliments about how big Blaine's dick was and how amazing it felt inside him. He'd scream "harder" and Blaine obliged by thrusting faster and slamming his dick into Landon's ass harder or squeezing whatever skin he was holding tighter.

By the time Blaine came into the condom, Landon had already exploded into the condom that Blaine had put on him in the beginning and had scrape marks on his legs from the brick he was pushed up against. They were both sticky, sated, and sweaty. Blaine pulled out and took the condom off. He tied off the end and dropped it on the ground. It was littering, but he didn't have anywhere else to put it and didn't want to walk back into the bar with it in his hand. Landon did the same and tucked himself back into his pants.

"That's what I've been missing?" Landon asked while out of breath. "Shit. What took you so long?"

"Look, I'm not into pillow talk so can we take this back downstairs?"

"Fuck, Blaine," Landon said with a smile. "I don't know what happened to you, but whatever it is, I could do this all day." He was talking like he wasn't even listening to Blaine.

"I need a drink. Or five." Blaine started to turn and Landon caught him by the waist and pulled him back, kissing him deeply.

"I knew that goody-two-shoes act with Hummel was all an act."

"Can we not talk about Kurt? I just fucked you and I'd like to not mix the two worlds. Actually, can we not talk about this either… like ever? It's not my shining moment."

"Go ahead. Keep talking. I have a thing for guys who talk like pricks. If this is how you talk all the time, sign me up cause I would love to do that again. The asshole vibe is well worth the trouble if it means I get a repeat of this."

"Don't hold your breath." Blaine turned back and left the roof with Landon following him to return to the bar. He was sure he smelled of sex or something, but no one said anything and he continued to drink far into the night and dance until he blacked out.

He woke up the next morning in his own bed, not remembering how he got there, but happy that he was alone, because out of everything he did remember, he remembered having sex with Landon, the world's biggest creep at work, and remembered bringing out the worst part of himself: the person he used to be before he knew what love was.

Blaine tried to move, but every part of his head and body ached. He groaned in pain. That's when Nick came in his room with a glass of water, a plate of crackers, and aspirin. "You have no idea how much I love you right now," Blaine groaned out, happy to see the bottle of aspirin.

"So, you wanna tell me why Matty called me at 2 AM to help drag your ass home?"

"Not so loud."

"Oh, I carried you in like a back-pack last night and stuck my fingers down your throat so you'd puke in the toilet and not while you slept. I'll talk however I want because you fucking deserve it. You better be praying that you never lose me as a friend because I'm a fucking good one."

"I know man. Thanks. I'm sorry. Really."

"So what the fuck happened? Didn't we just have this discussion not long ago about why you don't get drunk that much anymore?"

"I was trying to forget about Kurt."

"Oh here we go." Nick dropped himself down onto Blaine's bed and rolled his eyes.

Blaine crinkled his eyes shut. "If I wasn't afraid you'd drop me as a friend, I'd say 'Fuck you.'"

"Good thing you're afraid."

"Yeah. I was just so sick of feeling the way I do. Kurt is perfect for me and, yeah, he comes with baggage, but who doesn't? I can't explain what I feel when I think about him. I'm drawn to him and I can't shake him off no matter how hard I try. I just wanted to forget for one night. I wanted to forget what being alone and unwanted feels like."

"Did it work?"

"Yeah. For about two seconds. Then I wake up and now I have a whole new set of problems."

"Like what?"

"Like having to make it up to one of my best friends for taking care of my drunk ass. Like realizing that I'm a fucking idiot for having sex with someone I can't stand last night."

"Wait, what?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm not happy or proud, but Matty would be; so whatever."

"Dude, you're driving yourself crazy. It's not healthy and it's not somewhere you want to be. You don't wanna be that guy anymore."

"I know."

"You're Blaine Fucking Anderson, okay? With or without Kurt, you're a good guy with good morals and good intentions. You're not the guy you acted like last night. If you need to be emotional, be emotional. Do whatever it is you have to do to get over this and be _you_ again."

"I don't know how to get over this, over him. And the truth is that I don't know if I want to. I'm still holding onto the hope that Kurt will just rush straight back to me and say 'I'm so sorry. I made a mistake. You're the one I've wanted all along.' I know it's stupid and fairytale-ish, but some part of me still wants that."

"Do you? Do you really want to be the second choice?"

"I don't see it that way. He's scared. He's just as scared of this as I am and he's pressured about Vin and feels guilty about cheating on him and having feelings for another guy at the same time. Vin isn't exactly a choice in my mind. Being with Vin is settling and that's sad. Being with me is a choice because he'd have so much to lose if we didn't work out."

"Why would he lose more with you than with Vin?"

"Because _we're_ more. I know he feels it too."

"How come you never told Kurt this?"

"Because he's a choice too. I've already chosen him. These over-dramatic emotions and actions are just consequences of feeling what it's like to lose everything I've ever wanted and needed."

Nick sighed through his nose, not knowing how else to help his friend. He handed Blaine two aspirin and the glass of water then made him eat four crackers. "Go back to bed. I'll wake you up when it's time to get ready for work."

"I owe you."

"I know."

"Thank you."

"You can thank me when I come to you with relationship trouble and you have to listen."

Blaine laughed, then quickly grabbed his head. "Laughing hurts."

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><p><strong>I know, Blaine was a little OOC and very emotional, but if any of you wanted to know what Blaine was like after Dalton, I just showed you :P I had Blaine acting this way for a purpose. I needed him to act like this and have the conversations he did in order to answer questions that have been arising about how Blaine should make Kurt wait <em>if<em> Kurt were to come running back to him. I wanted to show what was really going through his head instead of him just crying or writing a song. Yes, Blaine was an asshole to Landon, but remember, this was the guy early on in the story who wouldn't leave Blaine alone and drinking to forget is never a good policy, but as you all know, broken hearted people do crazy things to get over those who regect them. We'll see what Kurt happened with Kurt in the next chapter and pick it up from when he left Vermont.**

**Please Review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**

**xoxo**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Kurt had been in his apartment for no more than three minutes before he started unpacking. He couldn't stop moving. He was frustrated and angry and four hours on a bus didn't help him relax or calm down. He dusted his room, then the rest of the apartment. He cleaned the windows, swept and mopped the floors, cleaned the bathroom top to bottom, though it looked like Puck had done it recently, vacuumed all the rugs, put away all the clean dished that were in the dishwasher, and plopped himself onto the couch after every last little thing was cleaned. He looked around, irritated that nothing sparkled or shined because he spent so much time on everything. Hours had passed while he cleaned and he ignored every last call and text message from Vin. He left him the note that he'd call when he was ready to talk and he was going to stick to that. He wasn't ready to talk to Vin. He had plenty of things to say, but none of them were to his boyfriend. Many of the comments were about him, however and none of them were nice. He still couldn't sit still. _Shower,_ he thought. _That will take up time._

Kurt hopped in the shower and somewhere between lathering his hair and washing his body, he decided that he had to go talk to Blaine. He could have gone to Rachel and Finn's to talk to them and he could have waited for Puck to come home, but he might have come home with a random woman and Kurt didn't want to bother him. Blaine was who he wanted to talk to. Blaine, his friend… _he did say that he wanted things to go back to the way they were,_ Kurt thought. He didn't want to push things too far, but he felt that Blaine was all he had and, really, he was the only one he wanted to talk to. Rachel would make this about her and Finn wouldn't offer anything intelligent or helpful.

He only knew that he couldn't sit still right now. He'd sat still in a bus seat for far too long and couldn't do that in his apartment too. _What day is it? Friday. _Kurt knew exactly where to find Blaine. He got in the shower and picked out an outfit. It was presentable enough to get him into Jericho, but not flashy enough to make him stand out. He didn't plan on staying there long, just long enough to ask Blaine when he was free and if he wanted to talk sometime. Then he would leave.

**Blaine**

Jericho was it's normal busy self and Blaine knew he was looking at another night where he would make rent in tonight's tips alone. He also smiled wider whenever he received a tip knowing that this month, he didn't owe rent from the agreement he and his room mates had with his landlord. Everything he made tonight was pure pocket money.

He left the bar to go retrieve a bucket of ice. His ice bin was low and mixed drinks were selling faster than normal. When he returned, Matty called over to him.

"Blaine!"

"What?" He dumped the ice into it's bin. Matty gestured with his chin over to the other side of the bar and Blaine knew immediately what Matty wanted him to see. Kurt was sitting at the bar alone with a drink. "Thanks," he said and started making a drink that a customer in front of him asked for. He wasn't ignoring Kurt. He just didn't have the time to go over and talk. If Blaine was the bartender over there or if Kurt was sitting over where Blaine was, he'd happily talk while he worked.

That didn't stop him from _casually_ looking over at any chance he got to see what Kurt was doing. So far, it only looked like he was waiting patiently while sipping on a drink or two. _Waiting for what_? Blaine wondered. The more he looked over, the more he was reminded of the first time he met Kurt. Kurt was sitting at the bar one night, having a drink, and couldn't have looked more adorable as his facial features changed from nervous, to shy, and back to nervous when Sebastian came over. It was pathetic really, but it was one of the cutest things Blaine had ever seen. He thought for forever how to say something to him. He guessed he had to thank Sebastian for being the predator he was because without him, he may not have had the chance to talk to Kurt. Now, the only difference was that Kurt looked like he was deep in thought, but also content to just be sitting there. Blaine had to admit that it was nice to see a different expression on Kurt's face other than apologetic and hurt.

It wasn't long before Blaine had to disappear again to go get more ice. He was running through it faster than the ice had time to thaw.

**Kurt**

He saw Blaine at the bar smiling at his customers and winking at a few of them. Blaine was quickly making drink after drink and it looked like he was doing really well on tips. Since Kurt had shown up, Blaine had to empty his pockets into his tip jar twice. He wasn't sure if Blaine knew Kurt was sitting there, but he chose to sit where he was on purpose. He didn't want to distract Blaine; he was working after all. He just wanted to get his attention long enough to ask if they could talk when he was free.

So, Kurt waited. He ordered a few drinks, nursing them until Blaine would either take notice and have time to come over, or give him some sort of signal to mean that he didn't want to talk. The more time he had to himself, the more he thought about being there. _What am I doing?_ Kurt thought. _I'm going to vent to the guy I turned down about the guy I'm with? What's wrong with me? Shit, I'm so stupid. What am I doing here?_ He decided that when he was finished with his drink he would leave and forget about venting to anyone. Maybe he'd talk to Puck in the morning about it over breakfast or coffee. Rachel and Finn were definitely out of the question because they wouldn't understand. Puck. Puck was his only option.

He finished his drink and the second he put the glass down he heard a voice to his left that sounded vaguely familiar. "Look-ee look-ee. The porcelain doll came out to play." Kurt turned and saw Sebastian wearing a smile to go with his pitiful pick up line. "Last time we met, you turned me down."

"I'll turn you down this time too, if that's what your plan is." Kurt realized that his confidence was a little braver than the first time he met Sebastian. Maybe it was because talking to Sebastian and being oggled the way Sebastian was doing, reminded him of the party Vin took him too. He instantly felt gross.

Sebastian chuckled. "What's it going to take to get you to have one drink with me?"

"You don't take 'no' very well do you?"

"Nope. Never have. Don't like the word."

"Like it or not, it still exists and I'm saying it to you."

"So, what's your deal anyway? I'm hot, wealthy, and slicker than a water slide. What's not to like? A drink, dinner sometime, a fuck, I'll pay for it all."

_Yep. Definitely feels like the party._ He was irritated and got the nerve he should have had at the party. "Pay? You think I can be bought?"

"Everyone's got a price."

"Well, I'm not for sale and if I was, I'd be in the alley outside with the other prostitutes."

"Come on, let me buy you a drink."

"Why? So I can give the bartender another twenty dollar tip? Cause that's what I did with your money last time. I didn't buy a drink and I didn't take it. I gave it away, just like you do. You give yourself away to anyone willing. I'm not willing and I don't want you to buy me anything."

"Don't be like that. You think I can't be a gentleman? Try me. I-"

Kurt felt a hand on his shoulder, heard a voice saying something sounding like, "Excuse me," and then everything went blank.

**Blaine**

When Blaine came back with a bucket of ice he saw his oldest rival trying to chat Kurt up. Sebastian and his predatory manner was leaning far too close to Kurt for Blaine's liking and when he took a glance at Kurt's face, he was happy to see that Kurt, once again, didn't care for Sebastian's attention. It was clear from last time that Kurt didn't know how to get Sebastian away from him though and, by the looks of things, he wasn't doing any better this time.

Blaine was getting prone to being jealous when it came to Vin because he knew that attention and affection was expected and he just had to suck it up. When it came to seeing Sebastian, however, jealousy crept upon him like kindling catching fire. He dropped his bucket of ice where he stood and made his way back around the bar, ignoring any and all people he had to squeeze through to get to the other end of the bar.

He reached his hand out, slipping it easily to cuff around Kurt's shoulder. "Excuse me," he said, eying Sebastian arrogantly. Without thinking or pausing at all, Blaine put himself between Kurt and Sebastian and kissed Kurt hard on the mouth. He parted his lips and flicked his tongue out to gain access to Kurt's tongue, which he tangled with instantly.

While extremely surprised, Kurt moved his lips against Blaine's like it was second nature. After all the kisses they shared, it kind of was. He opened his mouth instinctually when Blaine licked Kurt's bottom lip and felt the familiar feeling that excited him so much. Blaine's tongue tangled with his and they parted lips with an audible smack. Blaine instantly turned his face to Sebastian, looking at him as if to dare him to continue hitting on Kurt. "It was nice seeing you again, Sebastian." He said it like it was an invitation for Sebastian to leave.

Sebastian instantly got the hint, scoffed, rolled his eyes and left. Blaine turned back to Kurt and took his hands back. Kurt was looking at him with a stunned expression. His eyebrows where lifted and his lips were pressed together tightly. "Hi?" Kurt said.

It was that moment that Blaine had a tiny bit of regret, doing that. Kurt clearly chose Vin and Blaine had no right kissing him like that. "Hi," he said sounding apologetic.

"That was… interesting."

"You looked like you were having trouble getting him away from you again."

"I was. So… thanks? I guess?" Kurt smiled a little.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were in Vermont."

"I was. I left early."

"Oh?" Blaine tried not to sound happy. "What happened?"

"Blaine!" Matty yelled from behind the bar. "Hi, Kurt." He turned back to Blaine. "Get your ass behind the bar. Do you see how swamped we are?"

"Be right there!" Blaine yelled back, annoyed. "Can we talk some other time?"

"Yes! That's actually why I'm here. I was hoping we could have a chat or something when you're free. It's been so long since we've hung out or talked."

"Yeah. Um. Wanna go to that western bar in Hell's Kitchen after the show ends on Sunday? What's it called? Flaming Saddles? I'm super busy tomorrow with the show and then work."

"Sure. I like that place."

Kurt appeared to be happy talking to Blaine, but Blaine was able to read between the lines and knew there was a reason for Kurt wanting to talk. "Everything okay?"

"Blaine!" Matty yelled again.

"I just wanted to talk. Is that okay?" Kurt quickly added. He couldn't back out now. He knew Blaine would know that there was a reason for him being there alone.

"Yes. That's definitely okay."

"Blaine!" Matty yelled one last time.

"I'm coming!" Blaine yelled loudly. He was pissed at his friend for doing this to him. A bunch of near by guys looked over at Blaine and smiled.

"I'd be coming too if I got up on him," said one guy, eyeing Kurt.

Kurt grinned, flattered by the compliment and laughing inwardly at how Blaine just walked right into an ejaculation joke at a gay bar. Blaine blushed. "I'll see you at work tomorrow." He leaned in and gave Kurt a peck on the cheek, just in case the guy who just eyed Kurt was thinking about talking to him. Blaine disappeared into the crowd of people and by the time he made it back around the bar, Kurt was gone from his seat.

* * *

><p><strong>Please Review!<strong>

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**

**Flaming Saddles is a real bar in Hell's Kitchen, but it is not as I described. I honestly don't know what it's like because I've never been there. I just borrowed it's name and location.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

After his fiasco of a day, Kurt actually returned to his apartment with a smile on his face. He felt like things were getting back on track with Blaine and hoped that they could be the kind of friends that they used to be. Although, a part of him that he was ignoring was jumping for joy that he was able to feel the touch of Blaine's lips on his again. He knew he shouldn't want it, but Blaine's kisses always felt right.

Kurt found himself humming as he put the key in the lock and opened the door. His smile immediately went away and he stood, paralyzed in the moment at the sight of someone, not Puck, sitting at his kitchen table. He gulped, unafraid because the person wasn't a stranger, but suddenly angry at the sight of this person.

Vin was sitting at the table. A small suitcase was sitting by his feet and a key chain was being twisted in his hands. Simply put, he looked like a dog that had done something wrong and thought he was about to be struck.

When Kurt was about to unglue himself from the open door way he shut the door loudly, attempting not to slam it, but being unsuccessful. He tossed his keys in the bowl where he and Puck kept their key chains and then looked back at Vin.

Vin look a silent breath. The whites of his eyes were red. "I still have the key to the apartment," he said softly. He took another breath. "Kurt, I-" Vin gulped, not knowing where to start really. He put the keys down on the place mat and covered his face for a moment. He stood up, his posture looking defeated and tired, and took in Kurt's outfit. "You went out."

"I went to see a friend."

"Blaine?"

"Yes."

"I went to see a friend too. I hoped he could help me make sense of this whole thing."

"You mean the huge lie you kept and how you seemed to have no problem treating me like I was less than?"

Vin inhaled a shaky breath. He didn't want to fight. He knew Kurt was right after all. "Yes. I went to got talk about how I let it get so bad and how I didn't know what to do to get you to forgive me."

"You could have started with doing what I asked. I left you a note telling you that I'd talk to you when I was ready. You coming to my home and forcing me to talk to you isn't what I call me being ready."

"I wanted to… give you time, but… Kurt, something happened. I went to see Georgie and I was saying how all this was my fault and…"

"And?" Kurt was so mad right now that whatever Vin had to say couldn't possibly make him more infuriated.

"Georgie kissed me." Vin's mouth gaped open as he waited for Kurt to say or do something. When nothing happened he continued. "He kissed me, but I swear I didn't kiss him back. I pushed him away and I told him that I wasn't there for that and I only wanted you." He seemed to be trying to get as many things out as fast as possible.

Kurt remembered Georgie. He was one of the creeps that Kurt met at the party. He did notice that the red headed man had fierce eyes for Vin. It only made sense that he would made a move when he thought Vin was most vulnerable. He wanted to be mad at Georgie, but he was so angry already that it barely registered. Instead he was angry that Vin thought Georgie was best to go see when he needed someone to talk to.

Before he even registered what he was thinking or doing, the words were out of Kurt's mouth. "Well that makes us even then because Blaine kissed me." Kurt almost gasped at the sound of his own voice saying it. He just admitted his wrong.

Vin's face fell even more, if that could have been possible. "He ki-" Tears welled in Vin's eyes, but didn't pool over. "Did you- No. I don't want to know that." He meant to ask if Kurt kissed Blaine back, but he felt so awful as it were that he didn't want to make himself feel worse. He'd rather live in ignorance and imagine Kurt pushing Blaine away the same way he pushed Georgie away. "I knew he had a thing for you. I mean, I thought he must have, but I wasn't sure."

"Why are you here, Vin?" Kurt seemed to be unaffected as Vin rambled about Blaine.

"I needed to tell you about what happened with Georgie, but I couldn't tell you over the phone. I-I am so sorry, Kurt. About everything. It's all my fault."

"You drove all the way here to tell me about a kiss?"

Vin wiped his eyes and swallowed down the lump in his throat. He really took in Kurt's body language and expression. "Y-You don't seem to care. How are you so calm? Some other man kissed me and that doesn't bother you?"

"I'm sorry if I'm not showing the right emotion for you," Kurt said sarcastically. "I'm too busy trying to figure out the appropriate way to express seething right now without waking up the entire building."

"So you are mad that Georgie kissed me?"

"Fuck, Vin! That's what chapter you're on?" Kurt was yelling now. "That fact that some sleezy creep kissed you, is so not on my radar right now. You pushed him away, I can't be mad. What I can be mad at is that you didn't give a shit to give me time to process the fucked up shit you pulled this week." He ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, really, Vin."

"I'm sorry."

"That's not enough. Not this time. You lied. Big time."

The tears came back full force. "Please," Vin begged. "I'll explain everything. Please give me a chance to explain." He went over to Kurt and tried to hug him. Kurt didn't return the embrace and listened to the grown man's sobs. Vin slipped down to his knees and hugged Kurt's waist, burying his face in Kurt's hips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please. Pleeeeaaassse."

"Get up," Kurt ordered blankly, his voice back to normal. He was tired and so angry his teeth could feel it. For the first time in his life, someone else's tears only annoyed him. _I'm the one who's supposed to be the bigger person? _He thought.

Vin sniffled. "I'm sorry." He stood up and wiped his eyes again. He coughed and sniffled. "I'm sorry. I just- please, Kurt. I need to explain. I'll tell you everything. Please."

Kurt closed his eyes and thought in the silence that was gathered between them for the moment. He inhaled and exhaled then opened his eyes. He touched his hand to his forehead and began to speak. He sounded tired and made himself not sound annoyed. "Go sit in the living room. I'm going to make some tea. Do you want some?" _If we're going to talk. We might as well talk._ He wasn't ordering Vin this time by telling him to go in the living room, he was merely giving Vin a chance to calm down.

"Yes, please. Can I help?"

"No. I'll take care of it. Chamomile, right?"

"You know what tea I drink, when I'm…?" He trailed off.

Kurt sighed, disbelieving that Vin had to ask. "You lived with me for a month and I tell you I love you; don't you think I'd know what kind of tea you drink when you're upset or stressed out?" Kurt suddenly was reminded of Blaine and how Blaine knew that Kurt liked tea with lemon when he was stressed. He wondered if Vin knew too. By the surprised tone that Vin had when he found out Kurt knew his tea preference made Kurt guess that Vin did know his.

"You're much better at this than I am." Kurt wasn't sure what Vin meant, but stayed silent. "I'll just go sit in the living room."

Kurt made the tea in silence and tried to think of what to say. The whole Blaine thing had been glossed over and swept under the rug during their discourse that Kurt was beginning to think that Vin thought Kurt meant that Blaine only kissed Kurt tonight. He had said that they were even now, but he knew that was far from the truth. Georgie kissed Vin, and if Vin were telling the truth, Vin didn't kiss Georgie. Blaine kissed Kurt and Kurt kissed him back, not just tonight, but several times before. They were certainly not even. Kurt thought about how he had been lying to Vin for a while now. Should he have the right to be angry? Maybe now was as good a time as any to come clean. He decided that Kurt's form of lying and Vin's form were two different things. Kurt kissed another man, but Vin lied about his life since the day they met. He wanted to say that Vin's lie was worse because now he wasn't sure which person was the real Vin. The Vin he thought he knew and had feelings for, or the Vin who treated him like crap and took him to a swinger party that he used to attend regularly?

He brought the streaming mugs of tea into the living room and sat on the other end of the couch, angling himself to face Vin.

"You have every right to be angry with me," Vin started. "I should have told you when we started being exclusive what my real life was life."

"You think?"

Vin took a sip of his tea and looked deep into the liquid, remembering something. He looked back up at Kurt, putting his mug down. "I started coming to New York About three times a year to get, what I thought this thing was, out of my system. I didn't want to be gay. I knew I was, but I also knew my family and I couldn't be me and be their son."

Kurt stayed silent because he knew that saying anything in opposition to this particular topic would only be cruel. Kurt knew he had is easy having a completely loving and accepting family. He blew on his tea and took a sip, feeling the heat go down his throat.

"When I was in college I heard about some guys in a GSA going to New York City and I sort of gathered up the courage to go and I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. You get here, walk out of the Port Authority and everything is like arriving on Elis Island for the first time, you know? You feel like your wildest dreams have come true." Kurt did know. He felt the same thing the first time he stepped foot onto NYC concrete. "For the first time, I could be me and the only people who cared were other people who were attracted to me. I went to the bars and men looked at me the way I always wanted to be looked at and I could look back without being in fear. I went to bath houses and men fought over me." He looked surprised. "Actually fought… over me.

"I never told anyone because my parents were alumni and donors and I didn't want it getting back to them. Instead, I dated girls and then would take my college breaks in New York. It was all I looked forward to. Then college ended and I went back home to Vermont and got a job at the middle school. New York was still a secret thing and I went alone. I still didn't tell anyone I was gay until the father of a student approached me during a student teacher conference. He gave me his card and told me to call him because he knew. Man, he looked right at me and he just knew. He said 'Do your coworkers know?' I was so taken aback that I didn't know if I was angry or relieved because I hadn't told anyone.

"I called him a week later and he took me out to meet some people. That's where I met another guy who invited me to the parties."

"The one you took me to?"

"Yes." He reached for his tea again, but pulled his hand back. "I didn't know. I was so nervous the first time I went. After the bathhouses and the dance club back rooms, I thought that was what being gay meant. It was just sex, right?" He finally paused hoping to get a reaction from Kurt.

"What?" Kurt asked.

"I was hoping you might have some opinion on the matter, so far."

"I have lots of opinions, but none of them are appropriate to say. I'm not going to shit on your coming out story, no matter how misguided it was. Everyone's different and everyone's scared, but not everyone had it as easy as I did, so I can't really judge. There weren't any gay role models to look to, but you have being gay wrong."

"I know!" Vin emphasized. "That's where you entered my life. "I had no idea what it meant to be gay until I met you. I only saw one gay couple in my life and even then, it was much later."

Kurt wanted to role his eyes. It was like he was talking to someone who was clueless about themselves. "Being gay isn't a lifestyle choice. There's no right or wrong way to be gay, but thinking that there is only one way based on secret orgy parties is wrong."

"I know. I know that now. I thought that being gay was only about sex. I was sort of brought up to think that. I mean, I know that being attracted to and having sex with men makes me gay, but I didn't know that I could just be me."

"What do you mean?"

"When I met you… You were just… I don't know how to explain it. Unafraid, I guess. I invited you back to my hotel room and you asked me out for coffee instead. It wasn't about sex. It was about a connection. You didn't want a quick fuck or anything like the other men I'd met or been with. You wanted to talk and ask questions. I'd never experienced that before. You, unabashedly just wanted me, the person. When I started to compare my secrecy to you and your pride about who you are I," Vin took a breath and licked his lips. "I couldn't bring myself to admit that not only was I hiding, but I made it so no one was looking. I was in a game of hide-and-go-seek where no one was the seeker."

"Why? Why couldn't you have told me? Instead, you wove this lie of a life and made me think that you were someone you're clearly not. Am I some judgmental person who wouldn't understand that?"

"No. You're not. It wasn't you. It was me. I was ashamed. I'm still ashamed."

"So which Vin is the real you?"

"This one." He tried to take Kurt's hand in his, but Kurt shied away from his touch. He wasn't ready to be that forgiving. "All that back there in Vermont, it's a farce. It's a cover so no one would know that I was huge homo. You don't get it yet. I became a whole new person when I met you. Not the person I wanted to be, but the person I was always meant to be."

Kurt held in a scoff. He heard this line before. Then the same person who said it left him for someone else a few months later. "You think I haven't heard that before?"

"I mean it."

"I'm sure the last guy who said it to me meant it too. He also meant it when he said it to the person he left me for. You and I have lived two very different lives. I can't teach you how to be in a relationship and I can't teach you how to be yourself. I came out in a small town very similar to yours and I was bullied and mocked every day. I get that I had a support system to go home to and you didn't. Really, I get it, but that doesn't give you the excuse to treat me like I was nothing. If I was so special to you, then you should at least have been cordial. Did you know that there are straight guys who are nice? You took the persona of someone who was mean. Not to mention that dropping a bomb on your family the way you had planned it, is a complete dick move. Whether your parents are supportive or not, they deserve more than that and they certainly deserve more than a last minute informative comment about you moving to New York. I don't know how you got yourself into this, but you are an entirely different person than I thought. I don't like that person. Not even close. That person has no respect for anyone. Not his family, not his friends, not even himself. And I don't know if I can believe that this Vin is the real one."

There was a long pause as both men took in what Kurt just said. Kurt was trying to register what just slipped out of his mouth. What was he saying? What did it mean?

"So… if you can't believe that the person who would drive hours to admit that he was wrong and beg for forgiveness isn't the person you fell in love with, and if you don't like the other Vin… where does that leave us?"

Kurt inhaled and exhaled through his nose. Was he actually going to say it? Could he even say it? "I don't know."

"Please Kurt. Don't do this. Please. Baby, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I know you are… and so am I."

"No. Don't. This can't be over. Please, Kurt. Please. Baby, please. I love you."

"I know, but-"

"No. I-I need you. I can't go back to who I was. I need you. I need us. You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I can't go back to being miserable. I love you so much. Please, Kurt. Don't. Don't end this. I'm so sorry. I know I made a mistake. Please. I can make it better."

"How, Vin? How? I don't know what to believe anymore."

"Believe in us. We can be happy. We'll be together and happy. I need you. I love you. I made a mistake. I can't do this without you."

Kurt stood up.

"Where are you going?" Vin asked with a tear stained face.

"To bed. It's late and I can't think anymore. We need to sleep on all this and revisit this in the morning."

"Okay." Vin faked a weak smile because he was thanking the heavens for little miracles. He made his way over to Kurt and embraced him. This time Kurt gave him a weak hug back. He didn't squeeze, but put his arms around Vin's shoulders.

Vin's hands started roaming around Kurt's back and rubbing the fabric that clung to his skin. Shortly after Kurt felt Vin's lips on his neck and Vin pressed himself closer. Kurt backed up. "Wait. W-what are you doing?"

Vin took a step closer and put his hands on Kurt's hips. "I want to show you how sorry I am."

Kurt started to feel his skin crawl and all he could think of was Georgie and the other creepy men at the party. "I believe you're sorry. You don't need to show me."

"Please, Kurt? I need to be close to you. I need to know that we're going to be okay." He moved closer again.

Kurt backed up once more. "No. I believe that you're sorry, but we're not having sex tonight. I can't. Not this time. We're not sweeping this under the rug by fucking like we do with all our other fights. I'll get you some blankets. You're sleeping on the couch."

"But-"

"No, Vin. I'm telling you no and you need to respect that. I wasn't ready to talk to you yet, but you forced me to. Now, I'm not ready to get back into bed with you. That's something I won't budge on. You're sleeping on the couch and after we talk over breakfast tomorrow, you're going home."

"You're kicking me out?"

"Yes. Give me the night to think. We'll talk in the morning, make some decisions, and then we'll give each other some time and space."

"But I don't want space. I want to be here with you."

"And I want a boyfriend who doesn't lie about having a double life. It's just the way it is. If that's not something you want to do, then you can leave now and we'll be done."

Vin didn't even have to think about which to choose if those where his options. _Stay; discuss relationship. Leave; end relationship._ It was a no brainer. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"I'll go get blankets for you."

Kurt tried to sleep. He tossed and turned and thought about Vin and thought about Blaine. He thought about Vin's tears and his pleas. He thought about kissing Blaine and how Vin didn't mention anything about it. He thought about everything. He thought about how he almost broke up with Vin.

What was it that was keeping him with Vin? Was it guilt? Comfort? Right now he wasn't sure. He felt sorry for Vin and his past, but felt that it was no excuse for not telling him. He didn't know if he was being a hypocrite for being so angry over a lie when he lied to Vin about Blaine. He was still so angry, but he was tired and exhausted from the whole day. If only he could sleep.

By morning Kurt had barely slept at all and found that Vin had done the same. They both sat at the kitchen table with a muffin and a cup of coffee. Like the tea from the night before, both items were barely touched, if at all. They decided that things needed to change and they needed time to think things through and left it at that. They weren't broken up. There were tears and more pleading from Vin. When it came down to it, Kurt couldn't break Vin's heart. He couldn't do it. He couldn't tell someone that he cared for that their pleas of 'I need you and I love you' weren't enough. But what was enough? He hoped time would tell.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**Kurt**

Kurt spent Sunday lounging around his apartment and wondering where Puck was. Puck ended up texting him saying that he had left a message on his voicemail that he wouldn't be home for a few days because he had a family issue to deal with back in Ohio. Kurt looked at his phone and realized that he did, in fact, have a voicemail. _Where has my head been these days?_ he wondered. Puck asked how Vermont went and Kurt told him that he'd explain everything when he came back because it's involved.

He couldn't get his mind off of what was happening in his life. He was still attached to Vin and he thought about the agreement they came to for the time being. Vin was to get himself together and they had to spend more time talking about their issues before they could move forward in their relationship. Surprisingly, nothing came up about Blaine kissing Kurt.

By three o'clock he got a phone call from his father. "Hello?" Kurt asked into the phone.

"When are you planning on getting here?" Burt asked.

"Huh?"

"You forgot didn't you?" There was a tone in Burt's voice that told Kurt he was smiling.

Kurt thought for a second and put his hand up to his head when he remembered where he was supposed to be that day and the reason for him needing to return on Sunday. "It's Finn's birthday. I'm so sorry. Let me get dressed. I'll be right over."

There was a chuckle on Burt's end. "Hurry up because I'd like to see my son."

"Yeah. I'll be there in under an hour. I'm sorry." Kurt hung up the phone and rushed into his bedroom. He picked out an outfit and grabbed the envelope on his desk that he put there weeks ago. He had bought Finn two tickets to see the Knicks because he knew how much Finn still liked basketball. Rachel would probably assume that Finn would be taking her, but Kurt knew that Finn would rather slam his head against the wall than take Rachel to a sporting event. Taking Rachel to a basketball game _would _be like slamming his head against the wall, so he might as well have at it for the trouble. Finn often went to basketball games with co workers and told Kurt that watching a game at home with his buddies when Rachel was home was one of the most annoying things on the planet because Rachel wouldn't stop complaining or asking questions at the most exciting times of the games.

Kurt at least thought that Finn and Rachel finally had a normal relationship where they could argue and be totally honest without fear of hurting the other one's feelings. Rachel was no longer scared that Finn would leave her for someone like Quinn Fabray, a former girlfriend he had in high school, and Finn was no longer scared that he was only Rachel's significant other to hold her purse and boost her confidence. Nope. They were a normal couple now who fought and made up. They were never happier than when they were alone together and being silly. It almost made Kurt vomit to think that he actually thought they were cute.

When Kurt arrived he was greeted by his Rachel at the door and embraced by everyone. He explained why Puck wasn't there and Finn said that he already knew because Puck called earlier. He handed his present to Finn and said, "Happy birthday. Don't open that in front of Rachel."

Finn opened the lip of the envelope and glanced inside. His eyes lit up and threw his arms around Kurt. "Dude!" he exclaimed.

"I know. I know." Kurt smiled. "I'm the best brother ever."

Dinner was lovely. Rachel cooked spaghetti and meatballs. Burt talked about his latest crusade in Washington D.C. Carol discussed fashion and Broadway with Kurt and Rachel. Finn and Burt talked about sports.

After dinner Kurt walked into the kitchen with a pile of dishes to find Carol already washing some. Carol insisted on helping with the clean up because Rachel worked so hard to prepare such a special meal. Kurt put the dishes next to the sink and went over to the kitchen island to clean it up. When he was finished he leaned over it in thought. He plucked a grape from the leftover cheese plate from earlier and popped it into his mouth. "Penny for your thoughts?" Carol asked with a smile. She turned the water off and dried her hands on a dish towel. Kurt shook his head. "Come on. Spit it out. You only get that look on your face when something's bothering you."

He paused and rubbed the back of his neck, thinking about what to say. "Have you ever cheated on someone?" Kurt finally asked.

The corners of Carol's lips turned up slightly, but not in a happy way. It was more of a "she didn't know completely where Kurt was going with this" kind of thing. "No," she said. "But I've been cheated on. I can tell you that it's not very pleasant from that end." Kurt swallowed and glanced down at the counter top. "Why do you ask?" He looked up slowly with a regretful expression. "What's his name?"

"Blaine."

"And was it worth it?"

He sighed. "I don't know how to answer that. It's difficult and complicated."

"You have feelings for him."

It took Kurt a second as he looked cautiously at Carol When he was sure that he wasn't being judged he nodded in the affirmative. He did have feelings for Blaine. Even after breaking it off with him, it was hard to imagine seeing Blaine and not feeling the familiar flutter inside his chest.

"What made you do it?" she continued.

"The first time?" He read the look on Carol's face. "Oh! Kissing. That's it, sort of. I mean there was this one time that-" He stopped himself. "Kissing. We've kissed more than once." The topic of his sex life wasn't exactly something he wanted to discuss with his step mother, but he amended his statement when she gave him a knowing look. "Okay, there were a lot of kisses. Many, many kisses. I stopped counting after two because I was two busy wanting more of them to keep track."

"Now was that so hard?" Carol said rhetorically with a smile. It was apparent that this was slightly entertaining for her. Mainly it was just that one of her sons came to her for advice that made her so happy. She knew Kurt was in the wrong, but what kind of mother would she be if she scolded her adult son for cheating on someone he didn't seem to want to introduce to his family anyway. The plan was for Vin to move in, but she felt that if Kurt wasn't excited enough to come carting his boyfriend around to his family, then perhaps things weren't as serious as his previous relationships.

"I don't know," Kurt said absently as if in deep thought. "There's something about him that makes me keep coming back. When we met, I couldn't stop thinking about him and, even now, I still can't stop thinking about him. He's kind and understanding. Blaine is incredibly talented, sweet, and attentive. He cares more than anyone I've ever met."

"Then what's the problem? If you have such a connection with him then what's keeping you with Vin?"

"Vin loves me and he doesn't deserve what I've done to him. I don't want to hurt him." Had he been having this conversation with Carol a month ago about why he was with Vin, he would have been able to give a laundry list of attributes that he admired and adored, but now all he could think of was the sex parties, being in the closet, and how Vin treated him. Yes, Vin and he had talked it through, but that didn't mean he was over it.

"Honey, you can't live your life only thinking of others."

"There's more. Now I'm more confused than ever." He went on to explain the events of the past week with Vin then Blaine and by the end of it, Carol was smiling again.

"Sweetie, if there's one thing I've always known about you it's that you can't let a problem go."

"Are you saying that Vin is a problem?"

"Your situation with him, yes, but him as a person, no. You see, for as long as you've been dating, you always choose these guys that need to be fixed. Haven't you noticed that?" Kurt shrugged, but continued to pay close attention as Carol continued. "You need people and their problems to make yourself feel needed and special. I mean, look at the profession you've chosen. Psychology. You want to help the broken. You brought your father and I together years ago. I was empty until he and I got together. Now, with you and your father, and Finn in my life, I'm happier than I ever have been. Every man you've ever been with has been fixer-upers. I haven't met Vin, but he seems like he needs a lot of fixing. Blaine, on the other hand, needs no fixing. He seems to just want you in his life. He doesn't want your help; he just wants you."

Kurt swallowed hard again. He knew his stepmother was right.

**Blaine**

Monday came and Blaine was woken up by Wes. He worked last night and went to bed late because he had some tune stuck in his head that he had to get out. He was really looking forward to his meeting Monday night with Kurt.

Wes had shaken him awake and yammered on about something to do with a job for Blaine and to meet him downstairs in the kitchen. He promised a bagel and coffee.

When Blaine joined him Wes explained that the orchestra for the show he was in needed a new pianist right away. Wes had told the conductor about his "room mate who was really good and already playing for another show."

"I don't know," Blaine said before biting into his bagel.

"Come on, man. This is your chance. It's Broadway. You're in an off-off Broadway orchestra." He said it like it was something to look down on.

"It's off. Not off-off," Blaine argued.

"Barely." Wes sipped his coffee. "You always dreamed of Broadway. This is your chance. This is it. You don't really even need to audition. All the guy really wants is to meet you."

"Wes, I'm happy where I am."

"You mean, you're happy where Kurt is. Man, when are you gonna stop putting all your eggs into a basket that belongs to someone else?"

"And when are you gonna stop sticking your nose in other people's business?" Blaine spat back.

Wes sighed. "Okay. Fine. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mention _his_ name. I just don't want you to miss out on an opportunity that would be awesome for you because you like making googly eyes at a handsome guy you work with."

Now it was Blaine's turn to sigh. He took a sip of his coffee. "You're right. Would it make you happy if I went to go talk to him?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I'll go talk to… what's his name?"

"Marco."

"I will go see him." Wes slid a card across the table. "And apparently I'll call him too?"

"The earlier the better. You don't want to call after he already hired someone."

Blaine and Wes finished breakfast and Wes went out jogging as per his usual morning routine. Blaine thrummed his fingers on the counter for a little while as he thought about whether or not to call Marco. In the end, he called before lunch time and made an appointment to meet him in an hour.

Marco was Italian and had the accent to match his origins. He was tan, slender, and had a romantic confidence about him. Immediately Blaine knew Marco was cocky and arrogant by the way he talked and moved with his body language when Blaine came to see him at his house.

"Wes tells me that you're his room mate?" Marco asked as he handed Blaine a bottle of water.

"House mate would probably be a better term. We live on different floors."

"So, you two are not…?"

The question was full of assumption and Blaine knew what Marco was asking. "No. We're childhood friends. Nothing more."

"Good."

_Good?_ Blaine thought. _What does he mean by that?_ "You need a pianist how soon?"

"Tomorrow night."

"I don't know if I could leave my show that soon. They've been real good to me and I wouldn't want to leave them short handed like that."

"Let me ask you something. Do you know how many pianists there are in this city looking for work on Broadway?"

"Thousands."

"Exactly. I could have hired someone within five minutes of my pianist quitting last night, but Wes ensured me that you were amazing and had credentials."

"That was kind of him."

"As it turns out… you are pretty amazing."

Blaine gulped as he caught Marco's eyes raking over him. "You haven't heard me play."

Marco began to slide over to Blaine as he unbuttoned his shirt. He wasn't planning on wasting any time. "Why don't we see if we can play together?" he said with a sickening grin.

After the past few days he'd had, Blaine had had enough of these kind of people. What happened to all the sweet natured guys that had depth to them and more on their brain than just sex? He gritted his teeth, put the bottle of water down, and stood up. He walked straight up to Marco, exuding the same confidence that he knew he once had, and put his hand on Marco's chest, stopping him in his tracks. "I don't think so. I'm not interested in that kind of orchestral music."

Marco stopped unbuttoning his shirt and crossed his arms around his chest. He was obviously not used to hearing no. "Shame. You're so pretty."

"Thanks, but no thanks. If that's how I have to get a job, I'm not interested."

"Oh please. Don't be such a stick in the mud. Go play something on my Grande."

Blaine stopped and looked at Marco surprised. He had just denied him and he was still being given a chance. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. You've got two minutes."

He went over to one of the most beautiful Grande pianos he had ever seen. He knew exactly how many hours he'd have to work to pay for something this extravagant. He played the opening number to the show he played for now and Marco stopped him halfway through. "Alright. You got the job."

Blaine froze. He wasn't even sure he wanted the job. He was pretty much only doing this as a favor to Wes. "I- um-"

"You do want it, don't you?"

**Kurt**

Kurt walked into the bar and looked around for Blaine. He spotted him standing at the bar talking to someone Kurt recognized from work. It was the same person he used to often see flirting with Blaine or eyeing him like a piece of meat. Kurt admitted it to himself that he was a little jealous seeing Blaine talking to someone else, but he reminded himself that Blaine wasn't his and he had made his decision to be with Vin. Blaine was allowed to talk and be around or with anyone he pleased.

Kurt eyed a small table and sat down to wait patiently for Blaine to notice him and come sit down. He purposely chose it for its position. It was in Blaine's frame of vision. So, if he wanted to look for Kurt, he'd wouldn't have to look hard and Kurt would be able to watch and see what happened between the two men.

**Blaine**

The last person Blaine wanted to be talking to right now was Landon. Blaine was waiting for Kurt and here Landon was, throwing down the act he normal did to get into Blaine's pants. The only difference now was that Landon had always gotten what he wanted once and it was a mistake to begin with. Blaine just wanted him to go away and go away for good.

"So, what do you say we get out of here for round two? Or we can hide away behind the bar since our last outdoor escapade was so exciting." Landon grossed Blaine out now more than ever only because Blaine couldn't get the images of that drunken mistake out of his head right now.

Blaine wanted to throw up. He decided to get rid of him the only way he knew how. He took a deep breath and put on his cocky bitch face on. The very same face he wore to get Landon to bend over the brick ledge to begin with. "See, I would, but- no actually I wouldn't."

"Huh?"

"I don't really know how to put this, but, well, I've had you already and frankly I've had better."

"Excuse me?" Landon puffed his chest out and his expression changed to an equally bitchy look. "I was rock 'em sock 'em, Baby, and if you think you can do better-"

"Think?" Blaine chuckled. "Oh, honey, I know I can do better and I never repeat my mistakes."

"You know what?" Blaine stopped listening and he rolled his eyes as he reached for his drink and took a sip. Out of the corner of his eye he thought he saw someone who resembled Kurt. He flicked his eyes back over and sure enough, Kurt was sitting at a table watching everything that was happening.

**Kurt**

Kurt watched Landon and Blaine carefully. There was something about the way Blaine was standing in proximity to Landon and the look on his face. It wasn't welcoming or really even all that pleasant. The more he watched the more he started to think that Blaine was going to get into a fist fight with this guy. Then Blaine's eyes flicked in his direction and Kurt startled. He hadn't known that Blaine knew he was sitting there. Or maybe he hadn't, but either way. Blaine knew now.

Kurt didn't know what to do, but he wanted to help. The last thing he wanted was to see Blaine get punched in the face and judging from Landon's body language, the chances of that happening were high.

Kurt quickly got up from his chair and made his way over to the bar where they stood.

**Blaine**

Kurt was still in Blaine's eye line and he saw him walking over with a concerned, yet curious expression. Landon kept going on and on about something Blaine wasn't paying attention to, however, whatever he was saying was making him get closer and angrier. Blaine really wanted Landon gone by now and he did the first thing he could think of. When Kurt was in the right position and distance away from Blaine, Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled Kurt to him hard. He spun him around, pinning him to the bar, and kissed him hard as he pressed his body to Kurt's. The kiss was much more intense than the kiss he gave Kurt at Jericho, but Kurt responded just as surprised, yet just as hungry for Blaine's lips as he did before.

Blaine's hands roamed south and one hand held Kurt's upper back, keeping Kurt's body to his own tightly. His other hand grasped onto Kurt's ass and pushed their lower halves together as well. He kissed Kurt hungrily, slipping his tongue in and out of Kurt's mouth. Kurt moaned and dug his nails into the cloth of Blaine's shirt.

Blaine remembered where he was and what he was doing and painfully tore his lips away from Kurt, however, he didn't let go of him. He merely just turned his face and let Kurt rest his forehead on Blaine's temple. "I'm sorry, you were saying?" Blaine asked sarcastically with no real emphasis on caring.

Landon stood there with a gaping look like he'd just been slapped in the face. "Dick!" he exclaimed and walked away.

"Oh, please don't stop on his account," said an older man that was sitting on a stool behind Landon at the bar and apparently a spectator in Kurt and his public display.

Blaine winked at him and loosened his grip completely on Kurt. He took a step back before looking Kurt fully in the face. Kurt was flushed and his lips were kiss swollen. He was out of breath and wearing a stunned expression.

"Sorry," Blaine quickly said. "And thank you. You were a bigger help than you think." His bitch-face was now gone and his tone of voice was back to normal. Landon was gone, so he could give up the act. However, now, once he'd taken in Kurt's body language and shocked expression, Blaine was thrown out of his comfortable austere that he normally had around Kurt. Once he realized that he'd kissed Kurt twice since Kurt told him that Vin was his choice, it dawned on him that comfortable wasn't the proper feeling. He felt something that he hadn't felt since the first few times they hung out. He was bashful and more than a little embarrassed; not to mention that he was ashamed with himself for letting Kurt see what kind of person he could be when he wanted to be his old man whore, unapologetic, bitchy self.

**Kurt**

Kurt just blinked. He didn't know what to say. "I think I need a drink."

"Yeah, me too," Blaine added quickly.

Kurt ordered a double shot of a Kamikaze and threw that back like it was water. Then he ordered a Washington Apple martini. He shuddered once he felt the alcohol rushing through him.

Blaine ordered a beer, but stared at Kurt wide eyed as he watched Kurt pound the shot like it was nothing. He felt the awkwardness of the situation and was beginning to realize the problem with what he just did. He felt guilty.

They made their way over to a table and sat down across from one another. "I'm sorry," Blaine said again.

"Yeah, what was all that about?"

"I sort of made a mistake… with Landon," he admitted.

"Oh." Kurt didn't know what else to say. A simple, non committal noise like 'oh' would suffice enough to not show judgment or the feelings he was actually feeling.

"I was drunk and angry and the combination of both aren't a good look on me."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," Kurt told him softly.

"But I want to."

"Why?"

"Because I want to." There was a long pause between the two as they stared into each other's eyes. Blaine signaled one of the scantily clad bar runners to come over. The bar runner/waiter was blonde and young looking. He had a perfect body and wore nothing but a pair of briefs, a fake gun belt, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat. Blaine ordered two more of what they were drinking along with four shots of Kamikazes. "I used to… make a lot of mistakes… in college, but I smartened up. Who I am now, hates who I was back then. I was angry and, more often than not, I was very drunk when I made those mistakes. Like I said, angry isn't a good look for me."

Kurt understood the euphemism Blaine was using: making mistakes, to mean that Blaine used to sleep around. It didn't bother him as much as he thought it would. He trusted Blaine and his past actions had nothing to do with him. He didn't judge him and he didn't think any less of the curly haired man in front of him. "Everyone makes mistakes."

"Does it bother you to know that I had sex with Landon?"

_Yes._ "No."

"Liar."

"When have I ever lied to you?" It only bothered Kurt because there was a twinge in his heart whenever he thought of Blaine being intimate with someone other than himself. The drinks came and Blaine paid for the drinks before he lined up the shots, making a wall between he and Kurt.

Blaine fingered one of the shot glasses over to Kurt and he picked up one for himself. They clinked their shot glasses and threw back the liquid then turning the glasses over onto the table. "You're lying right now. You think I'm a slut or something."

"No! _You_ think you're a slut. Blaine, you don't owe me anything. You can do whatever," he swallowed, "or whomever you choose. I don't think any less of you for having drunken sex with Landon." There was another pause. "If you want judgment, you came to the wrong person. I have no right to judge anyone." There was silence again and both sipped their drinks.

Blaine lifted another shot. Kurt followed suit and they swallowed.

"I hate him."

"Who?"

"The old me. You saw me at the bar with Landon. I was like that. Not just some of the time. All of the time. Just a… well, I was an asshole and a whore." Blaine brought his beer up to his lips and took a long drink.

"I doubt that."

The bottle came down from his lips in disbelief. "Really?" Blaine felt his emotions that he shoved down previously rolling back up again. "Go talk to my roommates and ask how many friends I retained from college." He pulled back another long sip from his beer

"That doesn't mean anything. I don't talk to anyone from college either." Kurt, now feeling the full effect of the amount of alcohol he's had so far, took a large gulp from his martini. It was probably enough to get rid of half the drink.

"It wasn't a choice, Kurt. I don't talk to anyone because I don't have any friends from college. After two years of _that_ attitude and those actions, I don't blame people for not wanting to choose me as time worthy companionship."

"Blaine, don't do that. Who you were has no baring on who you are now. You have plenty of people now who take you for who you are. There's not use in comparing now because you changed and changed for the better."

Their eyes caught each other's. Blaine pursed his lips, trying to hide that his lower lip was trembling. Maybe he shouldn't have had as much to drink as he did. The alcohol wasn't helping him keep his feelings in check. Maybe he was just being emotional; he wasn't sure. His attempts weren't as useful as he thought because his eyes gave everything away to Kurt.

He took a large gulp of the rest of his martini and put the glass down. "What is it?" Kurt asked reaching forward and covering Blaine's hand with his own. "What's bothering you?" He looked concerned.

Blaine took in a quick deep breath and shook his head. "Nothing. It's nothing." He stood up and rushed away from the table.

Kurt stood up and immediately felt the effects of drinking that much too quickly. He was drunk. He stumbled some, but he followed Blaine out of the bar as quickly as he could. Lucky for him, his legs were longer than Blaine's and he just barely caught up to him about ten yards outside of the bar. "Hey," Kurt grabbed Blaine's arm and pulled him so Blaine would turn around.

Blaine was scowling, but he was doing it in an attempt to keep from showing any more emotions that he didn't want expelled. Being drunk was definitely not helping his situation.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asked again, more fervently.

_I miss you,_ was Blaine's first thought. "I… It's…"

Without thinking, Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and held him. He wanted to comfort him and hold him. Yes, he still had feelings for him and maybe this wasn't right, but Blaine was clearly in pain and needed someone.

Blaine accepted the hug and tucked himself in. He couldn't have Kurt, but this was enough. A caring embrace. He sniffled, though his nose wasn't running. "It's a lot of things. I'm lonely and I'm angry and I'm ashamed. I'm making poor decisions and right now, I'm making another one."

"What's that?" Kurt asked, rubbing Blaine's back.

"I'm hammered and having a heart to heart with _you._"

Kurt knew what Blaine meant. At least he wasn't drunk when he told Blaine his problems. He remembers before they started anything and were just friends, anything involving him being drunk around Blaine meant that he was close to doing or saying something he wasn't supposed to. Blaine wasn't over Kurt; Kurt knew that about as well as he knew that he wasn't over Blaine. Feelings were still there and Kurt knew that Blaine's were hurt.

"When am I going to stop hurting you?"

Blaine backed out of Kurt's arms. "It's not you."

"Not all of it, but some of it is. Why else would you be so nervous to talk to me? You're just as afraid of saying the wrong thing as I am."

Blaine was milliseconds away from telling Kurt that it doesn't make any sense why they're aren't together. In reality, he knew why, but in his drunken state, he didn't understand anymore. All he understood was that Kurt was upset enough to leave vacation early, and Kurt went straight to Blaine. _What does that say? He leaves his boyfriend in Vermont to come talk to me at my work in New York? Why isn't he with me? Fuck, I need to stop being drunk around him. Bad idea. This was a bad idea._

"I think maybe we should just go our separate ways tonight. Sober up. Try this hang out as friends thing some other time?"

Kurt nodded. Blaine was right. If they ever had a chance at being friends, obviously being drunk and emotional wasn't a good jumping off point, but he wasn't ready to let his time with Blaine go yet. Not when they had only started talking again. "What about coffee?"

"When?"

"Now? There's a coffee shop open not far from here."

Blaine breathed deeply and thought coffee would be good right about now. He really didn't want to be drunk on a train home. "Okay. You lead."

Both of them were a little wobbly on their feet and more than a little emotional and feeling all their feelings for each other silently so they walked with an arm around the other. They mentally made the excuse that they needed the upright support.

Kurt showed Blaine to a coffee shop that was dim lit and played live music. They both ordered coffee and took a seat in the back. No one else was in their corner because anyone else that was there was sitting closer to the band or typing away on their laptops in a space with better lighting.

"So how was Vermont?" Blaine finally asked.

Kurt coughed. "Awful."

"Why?"

Kurt took another sip and stared into his coffee cup as if he could see his future at the bottom of the porcelain mug. "I didn't know I was dating a closet case."

"What? Seriously?"

"Yeah. I mean, if I knew he was still in the closet that would have been one thing, but he lied to me about it and made me believe something else." He took a gulp of his coffee and put the mug down. "Have you ever met one of those people who lower their voice and change pronouns?"

"Oh! He's one of those?"

"Yeah. He completely changed his personality. He was… well, he was an asshole."

"Not to you I hope."

Kurt wished he had another drink to avoid responding to the last comment. He huffed. "Maybe if he warned me before hand…"

"You're serious? What did he do?"

"Ignored me, snapped at me, constantly looked at me like I was a pariah and an embarrassment."

"That asshole!"

"I know."

"So what happened?"

"I walked out on him in a diner and came home." _And went to Jericho where you kissed me._

"Good for you."

"There's more, but…"

"But?"

"But it's complicated."

"We've got time. I'm sure you can make me understand."

"He took me to meet his friends at this party that they were having. Blaine, I've been ogled before and I've had my share of creepy men hit on me, but, I swear, I've never felt more disgusting in my life."

"What do you mean?"

Kurt went on to explain the men at the party and how they all stared at him like he was fresh meat that everyone had to taste. He talked about how Vin thought Kurt should take it as a compliment and how Vin had slept with all of those men at one time or another.

He gulped. "Was it the number of men that Vin slept with before you that bothered you?" Blaine hoped that it wasn't because he was reflecting the situation onto himself.

"No. Have you ever been in a room full of men your boyfriend has fucked?" Blaine shook his head. "It's one thing to know a number or hear about their past, but it's quite another to actually see it all at once. It was like petting the cow and then eating the burger, knowing that you'd just seen it. Just really uncomfortable and awkward. Then pair that with the fact that all of them wanted to fuck me too."

"He took you to a gay romp?"

"I guess so." Kurt shuddered. "Two men approached us and one actually had the balls to ask Vin if he could _share_ me." Blaine fingered the rim of his coffee mug trying to hide his disgust for how Vin had carelessly treated Kurt. "Vin looked at me like he was completely okay with it and if I wanted to go with them I could. I assume it was because he was approached by someone else himself and if one of us could partake, then the other could as well. Gross. I mean, to each his own, and all that. It's fine if that's what you want to do. Swingers, chain gangs, orgies, I don't care. It's just not my thing. Me and one guy at a time is perfect for me."

"What happened after that?"

"I asked if we could go because I wasn't comfortable and he said okay. We didn't really talk about it because I didn't want to come right out and say 'Your friends grossed me out.' They were supposed to be his friends and I didn't want to hurt his feelings by openly judging them. Mentally I was, but I didn't need to say it out loud."

"Wait. Back up a second. So Vin would have been fine with you sleeping with someone else as long as he could too?"

"I guess. That was the impression he gave me. Isn't that the point of those parties anyway? Anything goes with whomever is consenting? Maybe he thought it would be exciting or something. I don't know. I just thought it was gross. I'm not a random sex with a random guy kind of person." He immediately regretted saying that because Blaine had just confessed to being that kind of person at one point in his life. The alcohol was still making it's way through his system. He saw Blaine's eyes float down. "I'm sorry. Blaine, I wasn't judging. I swear. I didn't mean that men who do that are gross. I just mean that if I did it, _I_ would feel gross."

Blaine itched his head. "No. I know. I just feel stupid and gross too, I guess, for doing that."

"I'm sorry. Really I am."

"It's okay." He looked back at Kurt, shoving his regret and shame back down again. "Keep going. So, what's going on with you two now?"

"After I saw you at the Jericho, I went home and he was sitting in my apartment. It scared the shit out of me. We argued and he left in the morning."

"Are you two broken up?" The tone wasn't there that Blaine was hoping for a positive answer, but he was thinking it.

"No. I thought about it, but he begged and cried. Ever see a grown man do that? He told me that one of his friends kissed him and then I told him that you and I had kissed." Blaine's eyebrows went up. "I think he only thinks that it happened once though. That's when I thought about how maybe it was time to call it quits, but you should have heard the things he said. He was so broken already. I couldn't do that. In the end we agreed that we both made some mistakes and we had some things to work on and change."

Blaine's heart sank._ How is it that Vin can do all that and Kurt would still take him back when he and I were perfect…?_ He was suddenly angered. _Yes, when would Kurt stop hurting me?_ He scoffed. He wasn't sure why it was now, or what made him all of a sudden feel thing way, but perhaps it was the realization that Vin could seemingly do no wrong that made him truly feel used when he and Kurt weren't even together. He licked his lips and bit his lower lip to try to keep himself from saying all the things he was thinking. It didn't work.

Kurt saw Blaine's change in facial expression and body language. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"With me?"

"Yes. You look… I don't know."

"Well, I'd tell you what was wrong with me, but I was hoping you could tell me."

"What?" Kurt looked confused and itched his nose. "I- I don't get what you're-"

"What's _wrong _with me? What's _wrong_. With _me_?" he enunciated. "I don't get it Kurt. "You. Him. He's all wrong for you."

"Blaine, I-"

"You and me, we had a really good thing going. We were happy. You're miserable with him. He treated you like shit. Like you were meaningless to him, yet you still want to work things out with him? There was literally nothing to work out with you and me. We get each other. We're obviously attracted to each other. Fuck, Kurt. We actually talk. I _like_ talking to you. You told me once that all he seems to want when he sees you is sex. When was the last meaningful conversation you guys had that didn't revolve around being naked?"

Kurt looked sheepish and couldn't keep eye contact with Blaine. "I thought you were okay with you and me ending it?"

"_Okay_? Why would I be okay with something that was beautiful and damn near perfect, ending? I only acted that way because I wanted you in my life, but what I didn't understand is just how little I mean to you."

Kurt's teal eyes went wide. "No! That's not it at all! You mean a lot to me. Blaine, you're-" He stopped himself from saying 'you're everything to me.'

"What?" Blaine asked. "You don't know how this feels, Kurt. It sucks. It sucks and it hurts. You would rather _him,_ someone who really didn't care enough to tell you the truth than me?" He carded his left hand through his hair. "Don't you get it? He said he needs you. You're his fucking ticket out of that hell hole. He needs a place to go. Oh, look! Kurt has an empty bed. He probably doesn't give a shit about changing. If you hadn't caught him in his giant closeted lie, he'd probably be moving in with you in August and you'd be none the wiser about why you can't meet his family or go home with him for Christmas."

"That's not fair, Blaine."

"No. It isn't fair. You know what else isn't fair? You leave him and come running to me to tell me your problems with him and then rub it in my face that you're still going to stay with him." Kurt didn't have a response. "Just tell me why. Why him and not me? Or, here, something easier: Why him? Just that. Why him at all?"

He could feel the lump rising in his throat. Kurt felt he deserved this. Everything Blaine was saying was right. _So, why Vin?_ Kurt thought. _Why Vin?_ At the moment, he had no response. He thought of what Carol said about how Kurt has only ever chosen fixer uppers. Blaine was right….He. Was. Right. But why couldn't Kurt say it out loud?"

"Jesus, Kurt. WHY? It's a simple question. Why are you with him?" Kurt took too long once again and Blaine gave up. "You know what? Forget it." Blaine took a very large gulp of his coffee and stood up.

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and Blaine quickly pulled it away. "I'm sorry," Kurt confessed with a tear in his eye.

"Don't be. It's over." He started to turn.

"Blaine, I-" He didn't actually know what he was going to say to finish the sentence off.

"Don't. Don't apologize. Don't call me. Don't touch me. Don't look at me like I'm your lost puppy come home. It's done. You and me. We're nothing."

"No. I c-"

"You have no say in this, Kurt. I can't look at you and not feel worthless. I need to move on from this stupid fantasy that you and me will ever be a thing because I know now that we won't be." He stopped again and looked back. "You know, you'd think that _you, _being a psych graduate, would at least be able to answer _why _you choose to do the things you do. Isn't that what you people do? Answer why? Forget it." He scoffed again and took two steps. "Oh. One other thing. Don't think you're going to see me at work because I got a new job this morning. So, there. This is a clean break."

"Blaine!"

"Good_bye_, Kurt." He left it at that and stomped away, leaving Kurt sitting there alone.

He knew why he didn't just leave Vin and beg Blaine for forgiveness. He knew the truth that was always there, but he was too afraid to admit it. Kurt was scared. Plain and simple. When you're with someone who needs you like Vin needs Kurt, you feel like you have the upper hand. But to be with Blaine would mean that Kurt had to be vulnerable. Blaine doesn't need Kurt. He just wanted him because he was Kurt. No strings attached, just the one to his heart.

Kurt could see himself falling for Blaine and being completely dependent on Blaine's love. It scared him more than he could say. He wanted so badly to go running after Blaine, but he couldn't. In this moment, Kurt felt that Blaine was better off without Kurt. He had to let him go.

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><p><strong>Hope the next chapter won't take as long to update. I had a lot of trouble with this chapter. It's long and involved and a lot happens. BUT before you start asking, no this is not the end! There is more in store and you'll quickly find out what happens with KurtVin and Kurt/Blaine**

**Please Review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	29. Chapter 29

We're about to jump ahead in time. No worries. I fill you in on what happened with everyone. xoxo Grace

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><p><strong>Chapter 29<strong>

**Kurt**

Kurt knew what everyone had said to him was right and Blaine's snap comment of why Kurt should know what to do because he answering 'why' and aiding those to the right answer was his profession. So, after taking two days to really think about what he had been doing and how he felt, he broke up with Vin. Vin begged and begged, but Kurt stood by what his heart told him. Vin wasn't who Kurt loved anymore and Kurt wasn't happy with himself either.

Months had passed and as much as Kurt wanted to call Blaine and beg for his forgiveness, he obeyed Blaine's wishes and stayed away. He stopped going to Jericho and didn't go out to the theaters in case he might run into Blaine because he didn't know which theater Blaine was now working for. It pained him to stay away, but he did.

August came and went and Kurt tried to keep himself busy with other things so that he wouldn't mope around the apartment with the thought that this was the month that Vin was supposed to move in.

September came and he started his new job as a guidance counselor. He really enjoyed it and it gave him plenty of work to do to keep his mind of his own problems. In retrospect, his relationship problems seemed petty compared to some of the kids that he counseled.

By mid October he answered a knock on his apartment door and Vin stood there with flowers. He hadn't seen or heard from Vin in months and was not only surprised, but confused. He let Vin come in and Vin sat at the kitchen table with Kurt explaining everything he'd been through in the past few months. He came out to his family, moved to another town, took a different job, found a whole new set of friends that he didn't sleep with, and started going to therapy, as well as a support group.

"You came all this way to tell me this?" Kurt asked sympathetically. He was careful not to make it sound uncaring because obviously Vin had been through a lot in a short time. Besides, he did care. He found it hard not to care.

"Yes. I did."

"Why?"

"Because you were right. I did need to do this on my own. I feel so free now."

"I'm happy for you. You deserve to feel that."

"Thank you. I'm proud of myself for the first time in a long time… but the thing is… I'm happy, but I don't feel complete. I'm still in love with you. I miss you and I knew that if I could stand even a single chance of getting you back, I needed to prove to you that I could change." He shrugged. "Be better."

Kurt didn't know what to say. In the end, it came down to the fact that he was lonely. He decided to give this new version of Vin a chance and they started all over. Kurt put on a pot of coffee and they sat at the kitchen table for hours just talking about the past few months.

Vin noticed that Kurt hadn't mentioned Blaine at all and asked if he had seen him. Kurt confessed that they hadn't spoken in months and pretended to act like it was no big deal. They left it at that and didn't mention him again. Instead of spending the night at Kurt's apartment, Vin insisted that he stay the night alone in his hotel room that he booked and he would be back the next day to take him out on a real date.

Kurt was happy with this because it showed him that Vin really had started to change and wasn't quick to erase their past by jumping in the sack. He thought that if Vin had tried to initiate anything sexual, Kurt would have ended it right there.

**Blaine**

Blaine had spent his months alone from Kurt immersed in his music. He enjoyed his new orchestral production that he was a part of and despite the flirtations from some of the actors and pit musicians, he vowed to himself that he wouldn't hook up with anyone from work ever again. He dated a couple times when one of his friends bribed him into going on a blind date, but the truth was that he didn't want a boyfriend right now. He wasn't sad anymore. That feeling passed. He wasn't angry anymore either. For the time being, he just _was _and that was enough.

He wrote more songs in the past few months than he ever had in that kind of time span and Matty had been letting him take lead a bit more these days. Blaine wasn't sure if it was because Matty felt bad for Blaine or because he was spending more time with his girlfriend and less time trying to learn the new songs.

They added a new piano player so Blaine was able to focus more on the guitar now and that made him happy because these days, his life was the piano. The guitar was a happy break from tickling the ivories.

He had saved up enough money to take a small vacation home to Ohio and the rest of his housemates went with him to have a Warbler reunion at Dalton Academy. It was honestly the happiest he'd been in months. It was a nice break away from the city. He was that much more pleased to find that even though Sebastian was there, he didn't say anything to him at all, never mind ask about Kurt. That was a welcoming surprise that he hadn't expected, but he took it and was happy.

After weeks of trying to get over Kurt Hummel and finally being content with where he was emotionally in his personal life, driving through Lima, Ohio and knowing it was Kurt's hometown, a pang went through his heart. It only made it worse when they stopped for dinner at a restaurant called Breadstix and the McKinley High New Directions were there performing while people ate.

Yes, he had gotten over being angry at Kurt, but there was a little piece inside himself that wondered where Kurt was and what he was doing. Sometimes he wondered if he should go to the theater they used to work at and pretend like he was buying a ticket to the show just so he could have an excuse to say hello. He never did, though. Blaine knew he had every right to say the things he did to Kurt, but after saying all those mean things, he didn't feel he had any right to go to Kurt and play nice. Also, he didn't know if Kurt even worked there still. By December, he had thought that maybe their chance to be together or their chance to just be friends had run out.

Then, on a cold day, one week before Christmas, he walked into a coffee shop to put flyers for his band up and there Kurt was. He was sitting there with stacks of paper all over the table like the first time they had run into each other in this very same coffee shop and Kurt ran off after they had coffee so he wouldn't be late. Blaine stood there reminiscing and unable to take his eyes off of him. He looked the same: stylish and beautiful. Kurt was making that adorable face he always made when he was concentrating on something hard. And just like that, all of his unconditional feelings for Kurt came flooding back. Or maybe they never went away in the first place. He knew then that the silence between them had to be over because if he didn't talk to him now that he's seen him, he knew he'd go crazy.

**Kurt**

Kurt was sitting in his favorite coffee shop by NYU that he used to go to as he looked over some files for students. He had gone through his coffee already, but was so focused on his work that he kept forgetting his cup was empty and lifted it to his lips to find nothing coming out of the lid. He'd sigh and laugh to himself every time at his forgetfulness and put the cup down, focusing on his files again.

He didn't know how long he was sitting there for, but at one poin the felt eyes on him and he looked up. His eyes scanned the room and sure enough, there was a pair of familiar honey orbs staring back at him. Kurt's breath caught when he realized who he had locked eyes with. He gulped and wasn't sure if he saw correctly, but he thought Blaine swallowed hard as well. They were both frozen in the moment. It had been almost six months since their last interaction and Kurt didn't know what to do because Blaine didn't want Kurt talking to him.

Then he saw Blaine's mouth turn into a small smile and his hand raised. He mouthed the word, "hi."

"Hi," Kurt mouthed back and raised his hand delicately in the same fashion. Their moment was broken by a couple of teens accidentally running into Blaine on their way into line. When their eye contact was broken, Kurt flinched and turned his head back to his work.

Blaine looked back at Kurt, who had now stopped looking, and took a deep breath. His instant urge was to go over and talk to him. It made him smile to think that after all this time, he still felt that pull to Kurt Hummel. _What the hell,_ he thought. _It's been almost six months._ He got an idea and stood in line.

"A medium drip and a non-fat mocha, please," he ordered when he got to the front of the line. That was another shock to himself; he still knew Kurt's coffee order. _Midori Sour,_ he thought to himself, remembering Kurt's drink order from the first time they met. He brought the drinks over to Kurt's table, his heart pounding the entire way. He cleared his throat. "You look like you could use another one of these," he said.

Kurt jumped and looked up at the sound of Blaine's voice. Their eyes locked and it was like nothing changed. They still had the ability to look straight into one another as if their souls were synced up through one gaze. In an instant, Kurt saw forgiveness in Blaine's eyes and warmth, something Kurt felt he didn't deserve, but perhaps the months apart had done some good after all.

"You bought me coffee?" Kurt finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Can I sit down?" Blaine questioned.

"Uh- of course." Kurt quickly started piling folders and moving them away to clear a space for Blaine. "How- how are you? It's been, what? Six months?"

"Almost." He paused. "I'm good. Busy, but good. You?"

"Good. Yeah. Me too."

"Is this okay? You seem flustered."

"Surprised is all. But no. Um. Yeah, this is okay. It's great. It's good to see you." Kurt was stammering and just trying to get himself through each moment as they came. He was beyond surprised to see Blaine and absolutely floored that he came over, never mind buying him a cup of coffee. This was something that he never would have seen coming in a thousand years.

"This is where we first had coffee together, right?" Blaine asked, not knowing what else to say, but most definitely knowing the correct answer to his question.

"Uh, yeah. It is. Same table too, actually." _Idiot, don't say that,_ Kurt chastised himself.

"Is it?" Blaine asked with a smile. He actually already knew the answer, but was trying to act aloof.

"Yeah. I only sit at one table. Creature of habit and all."

"What if someone else was sitting here?"

"I'd sit over there." Kurt pointed. "It's my someone-else-is-sitting-in-my-chair table."

"And if that was is taken as well?"

"That one in the corner is number three." Kurt pointed again.

"And if that one is taken?" Blaine was smiling now and being playful.

Kurt paused, looking into Blaine's eyes that were lighting up by the second and smiled. "Then I go home and go back to bed because I'd take it as a sign that it wasn't my day."

Blaine laughed and Kurt's heart fluttered at the sight of Blaine's eyes. They still sparkled and danced in his glee as if they sang a song of their own to the beat of Blaine's laughter. It was beautiful.

"So what's all this?" Blaine asked, trying to continue a conversation and gesturing to the pile of folders.

"Um. Files. They're case files on some students. I'm just going over them to make sure I'm not missing anything that would be red flags on the students I saw recently. The thicker ones are files on new students transferring into the school next semester."

"Wow," Blaine said. He meant it. Kurt's job now seemed so professional compared to the idea he once had of Kurt's past internships and his work at the theater. "Looks like you've got your hands full."

"A bit, but I love my job. All the schooling I went through to get this job was well worth it. All of the kids are amazing and they all have a story."

"I bet. I'd ask about them, but I know you can't talk about it. Confidentiality and all that."

"Right." Kurt closed his eyes as he touched the lid of the coffee cup to his mouth and felt the warm mocha latte run down his throat. It was calming. "How's work for you?"

Blaine flinched for a second because he caught himself staring at Kurt's serene face. He was happy that it was the coffee he bought him that made Kurt make that face. "Great! I love it there."

"Where are you?"

"Oh. Right. I never told you where I moved jobs to, huh?" He rubbed the back of his neck and looked down for a second as he remembered that awful night. "I work in the orchestra for Godspell now."

"Broadway? Oh God, Blaine! That's amazing!" Kurt's face was pure happiness. "I'm so happy for you. I knew that's what you wanted all along."

Blaine smiled again. "Thank you." They both sipped their coffees and they fell into silence, not knowing where to go from here. "So, um." Blaine cleared his throat. "How's, uh, Vin?" _Holy hell! Why the fuck did I ask that?_

Kurt looked shocked that Blaine even asked. "Um. He's good. He's been doing a lot of soul searching and making some life changes."

"Oh. Well, that's good then. So, you two are still together?" _Shut up! Just stop talking you idiot!_

He spoke slowly, uncomfortable with the topic when it came to Blaine. "Well, it's an interested story actually. I broke up with him for a while and then we semi recently got back together." He couldn't look Blaine in the eyes when he said it. Vin was essentially one of the reasons Blaine stopped talking to him. Kurt was the biggest reason, but number two was definitely Vin.

"I see. Wh-what made you change your mind?" He brought his coffee cup up to his mouth.

Kurt was wary, but he kept answering Blaine's questions. He didn't know if he should be, but as long as Blaine kept asking, Kurt felt he owed him the truth. "To leave him, or to get back together?"

"Both."

He breathed deeply before answering. "Well, I left him because of… well, you, actually."

"Me?"

"Yeah." He looked away again. "Everything you said that night was right and I needed to make a change. A lot of changes. So I did. Then, one day, he showed up at my door and…"

"One thing led to another?" He paused, in awe with himself that he just said that. "Oh, gosh, Kurt, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's fine. You have every right to be angry with me."

"No I don't."

There was silence between them and their eyes locked once again, both seeing pain in the other. "You don't?"

"No. Kurt, what we had was… beautiful, light, and airy. It ended horribly, but it ended. Nearly six months ago it ended. I said my peace back then and I was hurt, but I have no right to judge your actions now because it's your life."

"I was still awful to you. I'm surprised you actually are sitting across from me right now. I deserve this coffee you bought me to be scalding my face by now."

"You weren't that bad. I made it worse for myself because I let myself feel and believe things that weren't on the table yet. You were honest right from the start and if anything, I shouldn't have interfered with your relationship. You were taken and I let you turn away from him."

"I let myself. You didn't make me do anything. You just offered me something different than he did and I couldn't decide which I wanted because I was too stupid to take a chance at really looking at what I wanted. In the end, you both made my decision for me. You told me to stay away from you and I listened. Vin wasn't treating me right, so I left. You had it right when you said it was a no brainer. Maybe I just wasn't strong enough."

"He really is different?"

"Yeah. I barely recognize him. We probably do more talking than anything else."

"Good for you then. I'm happy for you." Blaine meant it. He actually meant it. As long as Kurt was being treated right and happy then Blaine was happy for him.

"Thank you. How about you? You seeing anyone?"

"Not at the moment. I went on a few dates, but I wasn't interested."

"I'm sure Mr. Right is out there."

"I'm not really interested right now. I don't really feel the drive to be in a relationship right now. That's kind of a first actually." He smiled. "I'm comfortable being single with working and spending time with friends. I'm in this kind of calm sort of state in my life. I haven't been there in a very long time."

"That's really great, Blaine. I just want you to be happy."

"Me too. I mean, I want me to be happy, but I want you to be happy too." Blaine's phone started blaring a beeping noise and he hurriedly moved to turn it off. It was his alarm that told him when he had to start heading home for band practice. "I gotta go," he said with a semi sad tone as he looked up at Kurt.

"Oh…" Kurt looked like the length of the meeting was too short for him and began to turn his face down. "It was really great to see you. Really great. Thank you for the coffee… and for coming over and talking."

Blaine stood up and smiled wistfully. "My pleasure. For the record, it was great to see you too." He picked up his stack of flyers.

"What are those?"

"Advertisements. We have a new keyboard player and he suggested advertising our shows so that we might get out name out there more. Bigger name means more gigs."

"Can I have one?"

Blaine smiled. "Sure!" He handed a flyer to Kurt. "It's for Friday night. You should come." The words were out faster than he had a chance to register that they were in his head.

"I don't think I'm busy. I'll see if I can make it." He had already mentally told himself he would be there before Blaine even asked.

"Great."

"Great." They stared into each other's eyes once more, lost in one another.

"So, I'll see you around then."

There was an awkward pause for a second because Kurt wasn't sure if he should stand up to give Blaine a hug, so he just raised his hand a little and said, "Bye." He watched Blaine leave and his hand went to his head. His heart was racing and very nearly pounding right out of his chest. After all this time, Blaine Anderson still had the ability to stop everything in Kurt's life and blur it all out so that Kurt only saw Blaine in that moment.

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><p>UH-OH!<p>

Please review!

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	30. Chapter 30

**So, I'm apologizing for not updating sooner with an extra long chapter. :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 30<strong>

**Kurt**

Kurt had gone home after seeing Blaine for the first time in months and decided to vent to Puck over pizza and beer.. "It's just…" he started. "I don't know how he has the power to do that to me. One look and I become a fluttering mess inside."

"Maybe because you two have unresolved issues that you need to work through?"

"I don't think he wants to work through anything. He seems pretty stable in his life right now. I'm pretty stable in my life too. It's been almost half a year, Puck. He and I should be over what happened between us by now, right? I mean, he did say that whatever he and I had ended. He said it with such finality that it sounded like he was so sure that he was over it... And, you know, me."

"I doubt it." Puck took a pull from his lager and looked as if he rolled his eyes slightly.

With the tip of his bottle pressed to his lips, Kurt stopped himself from taking a sip when Puck's words reached his muddled brain. "Why do you say that?"

"You said he asked about Vin, right?" Kurt nodded. "Why would he ask unless he didn't want to know if you were attached to someone or not?" Puck gave Kurt an assuming look and kept his eyes on him as he took a long drink from his beer bottle. Clearly Puck knew too much about relationships and body language.

Kurt collapsed onto the table and banged his forehead onto the top. Puck snatched his bottle off the table so it wouldn't topple over. "Ugh!" he groaned. "Why am I even thinking about this? It's like nothing changed. Six fucking months passed and you'd think I'd be over him by now. You'd think I'd be able to mentally commit to just one person."

Puck opened another beer from the six pack he had sitting on the table. "If you can't commit, mentally or physically to Vin, you shouldn't be with him. Take the last time as a sign. Messing around with a close friend screws things up. Cheating on someone you care about _really _messes things up."

"But what if Blaine doesn't want to be with me?"

"So, you'd stay with Vin just because you don't think the person you really want wants you back?"

Puck had caught him. "Is that what I'm doing?" Kurt asked out loud, but it was more of a question to himself.

"I don't know. You're the psych counselor."

He felt stupid. Puck was right. How had he missed this about himself completely? He was still so stuck on Blaine that it almost overshadowed how he felt about Vin. Almost. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Do you love him?"

"Who?"

"See, the fact that you have to ask tells me that you really don't know who you love. If you were in love with Vin, you would have clarified him as the one you loved immediately."

"And if it were Blaine?"

"You haven't given yourself a chance to love him. All you've done is spend time thinking about how wrong what you two were doing was."

"But what if I haven't given myself a chance to really love Vin either? He's changed so much. He did all that because he wanted to be with me."

"But you didn't ask him to. Why did you brake up with him in the first place?"

"Because he wasn't the person I thought he was and I wasn't happy. Not just with him, but with myself. I'd never been a cheater and I'd never been lied to that badly."

"Well, Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but you're still a cheater and he still lied to you. You're not cheating on him now and maybe he really isn't lying to you at the moment, but him changing as a person doesn't change what you both did in the past. Sure, maybe you've forgiven all that, but if he changed, then you either need to forget about Blaine and really get to know the new Vin, or leave him be."

Kurt looked at his room mate incredulously. "Those can't be my only options. Choose one or the other? That's your great advice? Puck, you've done more living than anyone I know and your advice is to just pick one of them like a flavor of ice cream?"

Puck smiled, but widened his eyes in surprise. He lifted his hands and splayed them out in a defensive stance. "Well, what else did you expect? I've never committed to just one person, Kurt. You're the head doctor here. Shouldn't you be the guru of advice?"

Kurt flinched his entire body. He was desperate for an answer to his problems. "For other people! I'm a messed up freak, just like everyone else. Just because I have all the textbooks, doesn't mean I know how to turn it around on myself. Do you know how many psychologists and shrinks see counselors and psychiatrists themselves? A lot. At least at the ones I know."

Kurt's wide-eyed outburst made Puck laugh and he gulped the rest of his beer. He put the bottle down when he was finished and put his hands flat on the table, facing Kurt completely. "Okay. In all seriousness here. If I were in your situation- and this is me being you, here- I'd find a way to date Blaine without actually dating him to see how I felt about him."

"But that goes back into the cheating category. No more cheating, remember?"

"It's not cheating if it's acceptable behavior." Puck made a face like he'd just said "tah-dah" after performing a magic trick.

"You mean like an open relationship?"

"Exactly. How does he even know what he wants or what's good for him if he's never been in a real relationship before? He's so focused on you that he may not even know what's best for him. Ever think about that?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes, not believing that this was an option Puck suggested he explore. "How do those even work?"

"You both agree on terms. If you're allowed to go on dates, then so is he. If you get to sleep with other people, he does too."

"I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know how _he_ would feel about that."

"Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll be totally into it."

"Or maybe he'll hate it and leave me."

"Then what would that matter? Fifteen minutes ago you were wondering about whether or not Blaine wanted to be with you."

"Yeah, but-" Kurt groaned and sighed. "You make it seem like I don't even want to be with Vin."

"Do you?"

"_Yes!_"

"But being around Blaine makes you question that?"

"Yes."

"Then what does that tell you?"

"That I'm still in square one and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing because I'm an idiot who takes people for granted.."

"You don't take people for granted," Puck soothed. "You're human, just like the rest of us. Even the most in love of couples still get their attention diverted for a moment or two. Believe me, I know. Do you know how many women I slept with for my pool cleaning business in Ohio? Tons. Wanna know how many of them were married women? Most of them. You're attention is just being taken for… how long have you known Blaine?"

Kurt reached across the table and hit Puck in the arm. He was being playful, but he had a point. Kurt was a bit taken with Blaine since the night he met him. He sighed again and downed his beer. "Why can't I make a decision? It seems like it should be easy, right? Just pick the one I want and go for him with no thought if he actually wants the same things I do?"

"Maybe you're scared."

The second the words entered Kurt's ears he knew Puck was right. He'd known all along and fought to believe it. He was scared. He was scared to fully give himself to someone else and scared to get rejected. Every relationship he'd ever been in, save from the one he was in with Vin, had ended with the other person leaving him, but that wasn't what Kurt really feared. He wasn't afraid of Blaine or Vin leaving him. He was afraid of throwing himself completely into a relationship with one of them, falling head over heels in love, depending on them completely for emotional support, and then finding out that they don't feel the same. It's the feeling of being so lost in the other person that if they left, he wouldn't know how to deal with it or move forward. He dreaded the feeling of rock bottom and starting fresh alone.

He knew the purpose of being with someone was to find that place of dependency and love that made you feel like they truly completed who you were as a person. He didn't know if that was something you would know immediately or something that two people grew into eventually, but Kurt could see that happening with both men. He didn't put much stock in religion or spiritual feelings, but if he did, he thought that the feeling he felt when he met Blaine would have been a sign to choose him. Then on the opposite end, logic told him that Vin and he had already been through so much and they worked for the relationship that they already had. If dependency and trust was something that really was earned and worked on, then Vin would be the perfect choice. Vin wasn't perfect and neither was Kurt. They both had faults and secrets and fought for the relationship that they had. Wasn't that what Kurt should want? Shouldn't he want stability instead of fantasy? Because that's what Blaine was, fantasy.

Blaine was seemingly perfect to Kurt. He was understanding and gorgeous inside and out. He was smart and patient; immeasurably kind and full of a light that refused to dim. Being with Blaine would be so easy. He could see himself falling for Blaine so quickly and deeply that he'd lose himself completely in their love. But what happened when the magic ran out? Would he find that everything he thought about Blaine was all made up in his mind? Maybe everything he was thinking wouldn't even matter because after everything he put Blaine through, it would be stupid to believe that Blaine would even give Kurt another chance.

_Stupid_, Kurt thought. _I'm so stupid. I don't deserve either one of them._

Kurt Skyped Vin later that night as per their usual planned time. They chatted and hung out and laughed at silly things. Kurt wasn't sure how to bring up an open relationship. _How does one even come up with a conversation starter for that sort of thing?_ he thought. He started panicking when he wasn't sure if he even wanted an open relationship. He wanted a normal relationship where there was him and his significant other and no other people in the mix. Whether he wanted that with Blaine or Vin, he wasn't sure, but he saw the importance of what Puck said to him.

"So, are we still on for me visiting in two weeks?" Vin asked.

"Oh yeah! Totally!"

"I'm so jealous you're going to Washington D.C. for Christmas."

"It's not like I'll be having Christmas dinner with the president," Kurt laughed. "Finn, Rachel, and I will be spending a few days with our parents and extended family. Dad and Carol want us to march as a family with the D.C. chapter of PFLAG in the Christmas Parade."

"Wow. I can't even imagine my family wanting to do that."

"Carol's sister is gay and she's all about it, so her wife and three kids are joining us and my aunt's and uncles and cousins on my dad's side are all marching with us too. My grandmother is in a wheelchair, but she says that she doesn't care if it takes her all day; she's going to be in the parade supporting her grandson." Kurt laughed again and rolled his eyes playfully. The thought of his entire family marching for his and every other homosexual's rights made his heart swell with love. "She's so funny, my grandma. She said," He cleared his throat and tried to impersonate his grandmother's voice as best he could, "You wanna marry a man, marry a man. What the fuck do I care? I'm not the one watching you have sex. Just promise you're going to give me great grandchildren because I need to hold another baby in my lifetime." They both laughed together and Vin looked adoringly at Kurt.

"I'm so happy we're doing this again. I look at you and see what life could be for me. Well, for us," he amended, thinking that 'us' was the better choice. However, it also sounded like it was forced and only being said because it might have been something Kurt wanted to hear.

The light heartedness in Kurt's eyes dimmed slightly and he looked into Vin's eyes at the screen and sighed. If he was going to do it, this would probably be his only chance. Vin made his own segue into the topic of their relationship. "Did you try to date other people or did you just come back to me?"

Vin didn't even look like the question was strange for Kurt to answer. He answered it with no questionable thoughts as to what to say. "I came back to you. I mean, I thought about going back to the person I used to be, but what good would that do?" Vin asked rhetorically. "You're the one that I wanted. Why?"

"I was just thinking."

"Are you having second thoughts?"

Kurt could see the look on Vin's face through the computer screen and knew that he had struck a nerve, but it was something that he had to talk to him about. He couldn't repeat the cycle twice and he couldn't let someone else make the decisions for him any more. "I don't know."

"You're telling me this one week before Christmas and two weeks before I visit? Kurt, tell me the truth. What aren't you sure about?"

"Us. I guess. I mean, our first time round didn't work out so well and I'm so proud of you that you worked so hard on yourself, but I don't want you to have done all that just because you thought it would make me happy."

"But doesn't it make you happy?"

"Yes! It does. You're so amazing for doing all you have done."

"But?"

"But I don't want you to have done all that with only me in mind because if we don't work out in the end, then where will you be? What would be keeping you from going back to your old ways if you didn't do all this for yourself?"

"What are you trying to say, Kurt? Honestly. Just…" Vin looked away from the camera and cleared his throat. When he signed on to Skype that evening, he hadn't expected this to happen. "Just tell me."

"I want you to see other people, I think. I want you to try to go on dates with other people to see if this is really what you want. There are other men out there and I want you to be really sure that all of your work on yourself could be for something great and not just for me."

"You _want_ me to date other people? Kurt, I couldn't bare the thought of someone _else _kissing me so much that it sent me driving all the way to New York to tell you the last time it happened. How could I see other people?"

"I'm giving you permission. You don't have to feel guilty about something that we're agreeing is okay."

Vin took a breath and tucked his lips backwards and bit down on them, thinking for a few seconds. When he was done thinking, he smoothed out his features and looked into the camera at Kurt curiously yet still a little confused. "I don't understand. I get what you're saying, but I don't understand how you can be so okay with me dating other people. Are you breaking up with me or are we agreeing to an open relationship?"

"Oh! Open relationship! I'm not breaking up with you." Kurt thought for a moment and smoothed out his features. "Definitely an open relationship. Well, I guess that's what the idea is. I don't know. I want for us to see if us being together is the right thing. You and I have been through so much and we've really worked for what we have now and I want you to see what else is out there to really make sure that _I'm_ the one you want."

Vin didn't even question Kurt's explanation. Instead, he went straight into his next question as if he wasn't really listening to Kurt. "Does that mean that you'll be dating other people?"

"I don't know. I guess it's more like we both have the opportunity to date other people."

Vin rolled the idea around in his head. Kurt could see through the screen that Vin was actually considering this. It wasn't that Kurt really wanted to think of Vin with someone else and it wasn't that Kurt was really going to go about seeking Blaine, but he wanted to give himself time to think about his feelings for both Vin and Blaine and he wanted to give Vin a way out of the relationship if Vin thought that maybe there was something better for him out there. And maybe there was, but Kurt had to be sure that this was really what he wanted, what they both wanted.

"What about intimacy? I don't mean sex. I mean kissing and hand holding and all that. Is that on or off the table?"

Kurt really thought about this. He bit his lip and thought about what he'd be comfortable knowing that Vin was doing and what he'd be comfortable telling Vin he was doing if he were in Vin's shoes. "No sex. Please. But if kissing someone seems like the next step that your body wants to do, then… okay."

"You too."

"What?"

"You can kiss other people too. This should be fair. I hate thinking of you with someone else, but if this is what we're doing then everything should be fair. If I have the ability to kiss other guys then so do you."

"Oh. Um. Okay." Kurt was sure that he wouldn't be kissing or dating anyone because this open relationship was meant more for reflection than anything for Kurt. He didn't expect anything from anyone. He just wanted time to think.

"Everything okay?" Vin asked

"Yeah. I've just never done this before."

"We don't have to have this arrangement."

"N-No. I-I want to," Kurt stuttered. "This will be okay and it will be a good experiment. If things turn out that we only want each other, then we still have each other and everything will be better because we'd know what we were missing out on, right?"

"Right." Vin appeared to still be thinking about what he was agreeing to and possibly all the possibilities that it meant for him. "Oh! One more thing. Can I add something to the rules?"

"Of course!" Kurt agreed instantly because he didn't want it to be only one sided making up the ground rules. If Vin was agreeing to something so delicate as an open relationship, then he should be in on the rule making.

"Okay. How about this? You don't have to agree to it; it's more of a preference on my end and I'll do the same if you want."

"What is it?"

"Can we not talk about it?"

"What do you mean?"

"When we go out on a date with someone, can we not talk about it? You see, I- well, it's just that- I guess I-" He took a breath. "I'm okay with the idea of someone else wanting you, but I guess, maybe, I don't really want to know about the guys trying to take you away from me."

"Oh…" Kurt didn't really like this rule. He kind of wanted to know about the men that Vin chose to spend his time with. Maybe he didn't want to know the smallest of details or if he kissed the other guy- "How about we tell each other when we went on a date, but leave out the parts about kissing and all that?"

"That's seems fair. I'm just thinking about how jealous I'd be to know that some other guy was trying to impress you to be with you."

Kurt's eyes softened and his guilt crept up on him again. "I know. I don't really want to think of someone else luring you away either. But maybe that's why this will be good for us because it will test the validity and strength of our feelings for each other."

"You're right." Vin huffed through his nose and smiled. "You're always right. I don't know why I'm even questioning anything. This will be great for us and it will only make us stronger as a couple because I'll prove to you that there is no one better for me than you."

Kurt found it only slightly strange that Vin took so little time to agree to this. He seemed to have no problem with the idea that Vin himself got to date or make out with men who weren't his boyfriend, but his problem was the idea that Kurt might be doing the same. _Maybe he hadn't changed as much as I thought he did,_ Kurt thought.

So Puck's idea went over better than he thought. Some part of Kurt felt that their was a weight off of his shoulders because now that he gave himself time to think about his feelings, Vin was able to find out if his were as strong as he thought. Somehow this made himself feel less conflicted.

Blaine's show that Kurt had previously agreed to go to was on Friday and Puck agreed to go with Kurt for moral support. Plus, he wanted to prove to Kurt that he was right about Blaine still having feelings for him.

"How are you so sure?" Kurt asked in the taxi.

"Okay. So, you know how you told me that Blaine always wrote songs based on you and him?"

"Yes."

"Well, if he'd anticipating you to be there, he'd sing a song or two that would essentially be the same thing."

"Do you think I made that agreement with Vin because I subconsciously want to be with Blaine?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Does it sound that way?"

"Kind of. Why did you get back together with him in the first place?"

"I'm not sure anymore. I was impressed with how hard he worked on himself and I thought it was romantic what he did to prove to me he can be better. Also I was lonely. It's not like I didn't care about him. I did and I do. I care a lot about him."

"But you'd rather be with Blaine?"

"God, I don't know! That's not even what I'm thinking about. What I'm thinking about is not hurting Vin and what might be best for me. And it just happens to be during the same time that Blaine re-enters my life."

"Okay, then let me ask you this. Would you have thought these same things if Blaine hadn't walked into the coffee shop that day?"

Kurt chewed on his bottom lip. "I don't know. Maybe eventually I might have thought about it. But then again, maybe I wouldn't have."

"Either way, it doesn't completely matter because it _is_ happening and you _are now _in an open relationship with Vin and Blaine _is_ back in your life and you _are_ very confused about your feelings for both guys. But if you want my opinion-"

"I do."

"I think that you want what's best for Vin because what you said to Vin was right. He needs to see what he's missing. In essence, you're his first real relationship despite having relations with other people. He needs to see what's out there. It's all fine and sweet that he loves you, but the fact is that he loves someone who cheated on him."

Kurt looked down at his toes. He still wasn't okay with having done that. "You're right."

"I'm not saying this to hurt you or bother you, but he lied to you about who he was and you lied to him about your feelings. You both lead each other to believe things that weren't true."

"I do love him. I never lied about that."

"But he thought you were _in_ love with him. You're not. Or, at least, if you are, it's not obvious. I'm sorry if I'm wrong." Kurt didn't answer. "Although, in all honesty, he's got a hell of a way of showing he's in love with you too. I think you're both confused. I wouldn't be surprised is he's hiding more things from you. I mean, look how easy it was to hide Blaine from him. You never know what he could be hiding from you. It took you how long to realize that he was who he was back in Vermont?"

Kurt waved his hand. He didn't want to be having this conversation anymore. He want to believe the best in Vin and think that Vin had changed and wasn't doing anything like Kurt had done. This was where the thought of Vin being with someone else made Kurt feel like he was doing the wrong thing. He wasn't exactly jealous, but maybe that was because he was made to believe that Vin wanted _him_ above all else. Also, he believed Vin when he said that he'd agree to an open relationship as long as sex was off the table.

They got to the bar and Kurt thought it was strange when he approached the doorman and was issued a bracelet when he was given his ID back. The doorman said that tonight was special and people seventeen years old and older were allowed in, but the twenty-one and older wore bracelets that let the bartenders know that they were allowed alcohol.

The inside of the bar was bustling and there weren't too many younger aged people, but there were enough that they stuck out like a sore thumb. Blaine's band was just setting up and Kurt watched Blaine carry on three guitars and their stands before Blaine noticed Kurt was there and he waved,

Kurt thought it was strange because usually, Puck could have been counted on to already be searching for women to hit on and try to take home, but instead, he bought Kurt and himself a drink and stayed with him.

"Mr. Hummel?" A younger voice asked while Puck and Kurt were talking.

Kurt turned at the sound because almost no one called him Mr. Hummel and more of the people who did were… _Shit, my students are here,_ Kurt thought. He nonchalantly put his drink down in a way he hoped he wasn't seen drinking by a student and turned toward the voice. "Tiffany, hi!" he said with a smile.

"Hi!"

"What are you doing here?" Tiffany was formerly Tyler and now taking hormone injections and living as a young woman. She was one of Kurt's students and he saw her often because, while her parents are supportive, they still don't quite understand and Kurt talked to them regularly.

"Some friends and I came to see the band. My brother is the keyboard player." She pointed at a table of same aged teens, who were all looking at him.

He waved, feeling incredibly awkward that he was at a bar, talking to an underage student. He had to remind himself that Blaine was no longer the keyboard player. "Oh. Fun."

Tiffany noticed the man standing next to Kurt and looking at him every now and then. "I hope I'm not interrupting. I'll let you get back to your… friend."

Puck laughed and turned to face them both. He'd never been confused for being with Kurt before. "Oh! Noah, this is Tiffany. She's a student of mine. She's sitting at a table with some more students of mine." Puck laughed again.

"Nice to meet you," Puck smiled sweetly at her.

Tiffany blushed and wore the sweetest smile. Clearly she now had an instant crush on Puck. It wouldn't be the first time someone instantly crushed hard on Noah Puckerman. "N-Nice to meet you too. D-do you know the band that's playing?"

"I've seen them before," Puck answered with a voice that Kurt thought was adorably kind. It was the first time where Kurt could picture Puck as a father one day. He had a little girl already, but he and Quinn Fabray, Finn's ex girlfriend, gave her up for adoption when they were in high school because they were too young. "But he's friends with some of the band members." Puck motioned to Kurt with his hand.

"You are?" Tiffany looked back to Kurt.

"Well, I'm friends with _one_ of the band members and I sort of know a few others."

"Which one?"

"Blaine. The back-up guitarist and vocalist. Nick and Jeff are his room mates so I know them by extension too. I know Matty enough to call him an acquaintance I guess."

"Blaine is so dreamy! Don't you think so?"

Kurt raised his eyebrows and Puck laughed. "That's not very appropriate for me to answer, is it?" He was kind, but he had to say that.

"Oh yeah. Student/teacher relationship appropriateness. Sorry."

Kurt smiled. "Enjoy your night, Tiffany."

"Thanks. You too." She did a quick wave and went back to her friends.

"Blaine is _sooo_ dreamy," Puck mimicked. "Don't you think so, Mr. Hummel?"

Kurt turned toward Puck and gently slapped his arm. "Don't."

"Is something wrong, Mr. Hummel? Am I being inappropriate?"

Kurt smiled. "I _will _hurt you." They both laughed and Kurt slid his beer over to Puck. "I don't feel right drinking in a place where my students can see me."

"More for me."

**Blaine**

"We are _not_ playing that song," Matty adamantly stated to Blaine.

"Why not?"

"Because it's about Kurt. I know he's in the crowd. He has a boyfriend and he chose him over you a long time ago."

"Mind your own fucking business, Matty. Why the fuck do you care if the song is about Kurt or not? And for the record, it's not completely about Kurt. None of my songs are completely about him."

"Blaine, seriously. Is this your way of trying to get him back?"

"I said, mind your own fucking business. This isn't about you and it's a good song."

"Well, this is _my_ band and I say no."

"Funny, because even though _you_ formed the band and footed the bill for half of our equipment, you've written none of our songs and do nothing but stick your nose in other people's business while you take lead and accept credit for everything."

"Fine! You wanna call the shots and do what I do? You wanna act all high and mighty while you make moon eyes at a guy who doesn't want you, go ahead. You'll be doing it without me."

"Dude, why are you taking this personally?" Jeff asked, trying to squash the fight that was erupting in the back room of the bar, minutes before going on stage. "Whatever he does with his life is his deal."

"It's interfering with the band."

"Like hell it is!" Blaine shouted. "You've been spending all your time and skipping practices to be with a chick who's using you."

"Fuck you, Anderson!" Matty advanced on Blaine, but Jeff and their new keyboard player, Chris, got between them. He backed off and looked at Nick, Jeff, and Chris. "So, this is it? You're taking his side?"

"There's no side, Dude," Chris said. "We just don't get it."

"And Blaine's right. You think Kurt's coming between the band, but you're the one not coming to practices," Jeff added.

"Of course _you_ jump to his aid. You and Anderson might as well be fucking."

That was the wrong thing to say. Blaine made a move to go after Matty in his rage, but Nick blocked him and everyone froze when Jeff punched Matty in the jaw and sent Matty falling to the floor. "Asshole! Don't put your problems with that slut your fucking on Blaine. And don't you thinking for one fucking second that you can judge anyone because you're a trust fund baby who acts like a dick most the time. Oh poor you! You live like a starving artist with thousands in the bank and have a girlfriend who's had her number written in every men's room in Manhattan."

Matty yelled and charged Jeff. This time Nick and Chris weren't fast enough and Matty tackled Jeff to the ground. There were fast enough to peel Matty off with Blaine's assistance before Matty had a chance to do damage to Jeff. "Fuck you!"

"Dude, just go. Get out of here. Cool off and we'll deal with this some other time." Chris was trying to moderate.

"Fine. You know what? Fuck all of you. See how well you do without me." He shrugged himself out of Chris' hands and grabbed his guitar. He dragged his thumb across his bottom lip and found that his lip was bleeding. He grunted and stomped off out the back door to the alley.

Blaine helped Jeff up and helped wipe some dirt of the back of his shirt. "You okay?"

"Yeah. You?" Jeff asked.

"Yeah. I'm good. You didn't have to do that. I'm sorry you got tackled."

Jeff grinned and clapped Blaine on the back. "Dude, we're brothers. I wasn't gonna see some guy treat my bro like that."

"Thanks, man."

"No prob. Besides, you're gonna kill it out there tonight. I know it. You're a better singer than him anyway."

Blaine apologized to Nick and Chris even though they told him that he didn't need to because Matty was the one in the wrong and was just mad and taking it out on Blaine. After a few more minutes they decided they were ready to go on stage because they were already late at this point and Blaine and the rest of the guys came up with a set list together. No one else cared about which songs were sung and who they were written about.

Blaine sang lead and they sang mostly some older songs that Chris had gotten used to and some new ones. Near the end of their set, Blaine started talking to the crowd more than he had been. "I'd like to invite Nick, front and center to sing something for you. He usually spends his time in the background, but we thought we'd show his pretty face and vocal chords off."

Nick put his sticks down and took Blaine's place. Chris left his keyboard and picked up a guitar. Blaine pulled out a violin from behind one of the guitar stands.

"Hey everybody," Nick greeted as he smiled. "I'm Nick. I'm going to be singing a new one for you. We hope you like it. It's called Give Me Love."

Chris did the count off and started plucking and strumming the guitar gently. Blaine joined in with the violin after a few bars and then Jeff to add a beat. Nick came in softly with his baritone voice.

**Give me love like her,**

'**Cause lately I've been waking up alone**

**Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt,**

**Told you to let them go,**

**And that I'll fight my corner**

**Maybe tonight I'll call ya,**

**After my blood turns into alcohol,**

**No, I just wanna hold ya.**

Blaine's eyes were closed, trying to focus on playing the first instrument he ever learned to play. He was quite proud of the song that he wrote. Nick's voice fit it perfectly. It was simple in words and completely loaded with meaning. This was the song that Matty and Blaine argued about. Originally, Blaine was going to sing it, but after Matty left, Blaine asked Nick to. He knew it well because Blaine wrote it with him. There was originally a drum part, but it was so miniscule that the song could be done with or without it.

**Give a little time to me or burn this out,**

**We'll play hide and seek to turn this around**

**All I want is the taste that your lips allow**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**My, my, my, my, give me love**

Blaine chanced opening his eyes and scanning for Kurt. He found him immediately and quickly looked away. Kurt was having a hard time not staring at Blaine as well.

**Give me love like never before**

'**cause lately I've been craving you more,**

**And it's been a while, but I still feel the same**

**Maybe I should let you go**

**You know I'll fight my corner**

**And that tonight I'll call ya**

**After my blood is drowning in alcohol**

**No I just wanna hold ya.**

The song really was about Kurt. Blaine wrote it shortly after his and Kurt's more permanent split. He wrote it as therapy for himself to get over what happened. He often fell asleep each night after drinking too much wine or vodka tonics. He hadn't intended to use alcohol to drown his sorrows, but after that phase passed he realized that's what he was doing. He'd come accustomed to walking into his house after work and handing his phone over to Nick and telling him not to give it back until the morning because when he was drunk, he wanted to call Kurt and tell him how much he missed falling asleep with him in his arms and wake up with the taste of Kurt still on his lips.

**Give a little time to me or burn this out**

**We'll play hide and seek to turn this around**

**All I want is the take that your lips allow**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**Give a little time to me, or burn this out**

**We'll play hide and seek to turn this around**

**All I want is the taste that your lips allow**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

**My, my, my, my, Oh give me love**

It had almost a contra dance or Celtic feel to the song and two thirds through the song, the rest of the band joined in to sing back-up, even Blaine as he played the violin, in a lower register, while Nick became increasingly more passionate with the lyrics until it came to a soft end.

When the song ended, Kurt was completely entranced with how beautiful despite the somberness of the words were and he was clapping madly with everyone else. It was at that point that Puck leaned over and whispered to Kurt. "I rest my case."

"_What?_" Kurt asked. "Nick sang that song."

"Blaine wrote it. It's got his style all over it."

"So."

"It's about you."

"You don't know that. Nick could have written it and if Blaine really wanted me to know this was for me, then he would have sang it himself."

"Maybe he doesn't want you to know."

"And if he doesn't want me to know then he's telling me that stay away."

"No."

"I'm not going to stay around him and ruin whatever happiness he has after what I pulled with him."

Kurt and Pucked stayed and listened to the band play with various people singing lead and their knew keyboard player had a pretty good voice. It wasn't until Blaine took lead again after announcing their last song that Kurt believed that Blaine was actually singing right to Kurt about Kurt. He knew because this was the song that Blaine was constantly playing around with when he was living with Kurt. There were never words, just a tune, but clear as day, Kurt knew it. It wasn't an accident that Blaine sang it at a show that Kurt was invited to, it was a calculated move and it was an obvious one.

**Blaine**

After speaking things over before going on stage with Nick, Jeff, and Chris, Blaine made the decision to make the last song "This," which he wrote a long time ago. He had begun to write it while he was living with Kurt, but he never told Kurt the words he had put to it. He knew that if he sang it and Kurt remembered it, he'd know how Kurt felt about him. Ever since he saw Kurt in the coffee shop this week, everything he worked past when it came to his feelings, came rushing back and he by the time he left the café, he no longer cared that Kurt was with Vin. He was going to tell Kurt how he felt and he was going to make sure that he understood. He couldn't let Kurt slip through his fingers again.

Nick was as supportive as he'd always been and was on board with whatever Blaine wanted because he wanted his oldest friend to be happy and despite what everyone else thought of Kurt, he liked him.

Jeff knew what it was like to want someone who doesn't want you back and Blaine stood by him all those years ago when that happened to him, so he was fierce about standing by Blaine now that it was his turn to fight for the person he wanted.

Chris didn't care either way because he just wanted to play music and thought Blaine was an incredible musician and knew what he was doing. As far as purposely singing and playing songs Blaine wrote about Kurt, he didn't care because since, he hadn't known Blaine long, he didn't understand the passion with which he did things. Also, he hadn't known many men as open about their feelings as Blaine was. Either way, he was on board because Blaine, Nick, and Jeff were good guys with big hearts and a lot of talent.

**This is start of something beautiful**

**This is start of something new**

**You are the one who'd make me lose it all**

**You are the start of something new, ooh**

**And I'll throw it all away**

**Watch you fall into my arms again**

**And I throw it all away**

**Watch you fall, now**

It was just Blaine out there all by himself and his guitar. He was singing for the crowd, but both he and Kurt knew it was just for Kurt. Who else would this song be for? Who else would any of Blaine's performances be for? If Kurt was in the audience, Blaine only played to Kurt. He couldn't help it.

**You are the earth I will stand upon**

**You are the words that I will sing, Mmm**

**And I've thrown it all away**

**Watched you fall into his arms again**

**And I've thrown it all away**

**Watched you fall, now**

**And take me back**

**Take me home**

**Watch me fall, down to earth**

**Take me back, for**

**This is start of something beautiful**

**You are the start of something new**

**Kurt**

Kurt gulped. He didn't know what to do. He suddenly felt scared. He was frightened by his own feelings about what Blaine just sang, knowing it was meant for him. Whatever he thought Blaine meant by saying whatever they had was beautiful but it ended, wasn't what Kurt thought it meant. He was moved, he swooned, he felt the same feelings he felt when he was in Blaine's arms and he felt the same feelings he felt when Blaine's lips were on his. It scared him for all the reasons he was scared to let himself fall for someone. He saw Blaine staring at him when the song was finished and everyone was clapping but Kurt because he was frozen. Their eyes were locked in a conversation with no words and the applause faded away so that it was barely a hum in their ears.

Kurt didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. His body was telling him to run, to leave. His heart was thumping so loudly that it told him to stay.

"Kurt?" Puck asked, interrupting their gaze.

Kurt blinked his eyes, feeling this sting from keeping them open for too long. He glanced from Puck then back to Blaine and Blaine kept his eyes on him, though now he was taking his guitar off and setting it on it's stand.

"You okay?" Puck asked. "You look like you've just seen a ghost or something."

"I-" Kurt took a deep breath, feeling like he was going to hyperventilate. "I shouldn't have come. I have to go." He turned on his feet and started traversing his way around people and groups and tables that were too close together as he headed for the door.

Puck watched Kurt try to rush his way to the exit then turned his head to look at Blaine, still on the stage, watching the same thing.

Blaine jumped off the stage and dashed after Kurt as best he could, pushing past people, while apologizing and saying "Excuse me." He didn't know where Kurt was going, but he did know that Kurt was going in a direction that Blaine didn't want Kurt to be going: away. His size was working to his advantage because it didn't take much effort to get past people and around tables. He knew he was reaching the door faster than Kurt did. When he got outside, it had begun to snow fat snow flakes that stuck to his hair. He looked left and right to see which way Kurt was headed. Kurt was still in sight, walking down the street like every step had purpose. "Kurt!" he hollered. "Kurt!" He took off running. "Kurt stop!"

The sound of Blaine's voice sent a shiver running through his body and he pushed back tears that he wasn't sure why were there. Probably because he was overwhelmed and frightened, but be wasn't about to analyze the cause of tears at the moment. He stopped when he heard Blaine's voice get closer and he turned to face him. Kurt's face was pale and he was shivering from the winter cold.

There was silence at first. Neither Kurt nor Blaine were wearing coats and the snow was melting on their cheeks. Blaine shoved his hands in his jean pockets and Kurt crossed his arms tightly, shivering still. "Y-You s-said we e-ended," he said through chattering teeth.

"I know I did."

There was so much both men wanted to say. _Then why doesn't it feel over?_ Kurt thought

_We ended, but we aren't finished,_ Blaine told himself inwardly.

"Th-The song. The l-last one."

"You remember." It wasn't a question. Blaine knew Kurt remembered it.

"It's _our _song. You p-played that all the t-time for me because you s-said I r-relaxed m-more when you played."

Blaine was quickly chickening out on telling Kurt his feelings. Partly he wasn't saying them because he was being distracted by the cold and seeing how uncomfortable Kurt was with the cold. He was shivering wildly now. He said the first thing he thought of. "We have another show tomorrow." A couple streaks of water from melting snow ran down his face. His curls were now flat on his forehead. He felt like a teenage idiot, not being able to tell someone how he felt about them. True, there was more to it than just words coming out of his mouth. It was more complicated than that, but he still couldn't bring himself to say them.

"Show?" Kurt couldn't manage much else because he was shaking so much from the cold. He only chose that word because he face was scrunched up in confusion. He was worked up over a song and gave Blaine the perfect opportunity to explain anything and/or everything and Blaine changed the subject.

"Will you come? T-tomorrow? It's th-the s-same p-place."

"B-Blaine, you're sh-shivering."

"W-Will you c-come? P-Please?"

Kurt blinked and wiped a snowflake off his eyelashes. When he wrapped his arms around himself tightly again he nodded his head franticly, but he was shivering so hard that he wasn't sure if Blaine knew he was answering or just shaking harder. "O-okay. I'll be there."

Puck rushed up behind them both with Kurt's jacket and scarf in his hands. "Fuck it's cold," he exclaimed. "Dude, don't make me be your dad and tell you to put you're goddamn jacket on before you catch a cold."

Kurt snatched his peacoat and scarf and put them on, frantic to put on more layers for warmth. He was about to put his scarf on when he saw Blaine still standing there shivering. He handed his scarf over. It wasn't much, but it was enough and Blaine would be going back inside soon anyway.

It was thick and knit intricately will angora wool. Blaine wrapped it a couple times and covered his nose for a few seconds because it was freezing. He inhaled and realized it smelled like Kurt's cologne. "Y-You'll be there?" Blaine asked.

"Yes. I'll be there."

"O-Okay."

"You can keep the scarf until tomorrow if you want."

"K-Kay."

"Shit, guys!" Puck exclaimed. "It's fucking cold. I love you both, but if you want to keep talking can you get the fuck inside someplace it's warm?"

"I-I g-gotta go," Blaine confessed. "B-band."

"Kay. S-See you t-tomorrow."

"B-bye."

"Great job tonight, Blaine," Puck called out as Blaine rushed back to the bar. Puck turned back to Kurt. "What's wrong with you gays? So dramatic. You couldn't have that awkward conversation someplace warmer?" He put his arm around Kurt's shoulders and they walked to the corner and hailed a taxi. "We'll go home and make some hot chocolate with mint flavored liquor and you can tell me all about what the fuck just happened. Deal?"

Kurt, a little warmer now, sniffled from the cold and nodded his head, glancing back at the bar and getting into the taxi with Puck.

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><p><strong>Songs are:<strong>

**"This" and "give me love" by Ed Sheernan**


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

**Blaine**

Blaine spent the rest of the night and all of the next day thinking about Kurt and what happened the night before at the bar. It wasn't until they were loading up their van with equipment that his thoughts were broken by Matty.

"Hey," Matty said with his eyes pointed down and his gloved hands in his pockets.

Chris, Nick, Jeff, and Blaine all turned to look at their band leader. His jaw was slightly discolored from where Jeff punched him, but not much. It would look worse tomorrow for sure. "What do you want?" Jeff asked.

"Uhhhhh," Matty dragged out. "I'm sorry. I lost my cool and everything I said was uncalled for."

"So, you're performing with us tonight?" Blaine asked. He was quick to forgive Matty for his actions. It was just music and he wanted to play.

"If you'll let me."

"How's your face?" Jeff asked.

"Hurts like a bitch, but I deserved it. I'm sorry for what I said, man. It was wrong and not cool at all."

"Okay then. Grab something to toss in here and let's get going." Just like that, all was forgotten and Matty was accepted back in the group.

When they were unloading the truck Matty crouched to help Blaine lift and amplifier. "Man, I'm sorry about sticking my nose in your business with Kurt. I'm trying not to, but I guess I need to try harder. I just see him and I get so mad, you know?"

"No. I don't know," Blaine said with a grunt as he adjusted his fingers to get a better hold.

"It's this thing with Candy. I know she's cheating on me, but I can't bring myself to confront her on it and when I see Kurt it makes me think of her and I get mad because I can yell at him and not at her."

"No, you can't yell at him. He's none of your concern. Besides, he's been nothing but nice to you in the past. So, if you stay out of my business, I won't hassle you like I did last night."

**Kurt**

Kurt arrived at the bar in Queens that Blaine told him about and immediately saw Matty outside smoking a cigarette. He walked up to him and greeted him. "Hey."

"Oh. You did come," Matty said a little blandly.

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows for a second. "Uh, yeah. Blaine asked me to, so…" he trailed off, not knowing why Matty wasn't as friendly as usual.

"Is that really why you're here?" He took a drag off his cigarette and blew it away from Kurt.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you are only around when Blaine isn't eating out of the palm of your hand."

Kurt tilted his head and immediately put on his bitch face. "What are you talking about?"

Matty blew the smoke out of his mouth and flicked the ashes off the cigarette. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. He's so messed up because, for some reason, he wants you and you act like he has a chance, but then turn right around and fuck things up for him."

"I have no idea-"

"Yes you do! How could you not? I don't know what game you're trying to play, but it needs to stop. You either choose him, or you leave him alone. It's hard enough being around him when all he can think of is you. Friggen, every song he writes is about you these days."

A light bulb went off in his head. "He told you."

"Yeah he told me. Vin must be some guy to turn down Blaine. You let him in your bed and make out with him and shit, then drop him when he leaves? Man, I'm glad you chose Vin. Blaine doesn't need someone like you. You'd probably cheat on him too."

"I don't need to listen to this." Kurt turned to walk away, but Matty caught him by the arm and Kurt turned back.

"Yes you do. You listen and you listen good. Blaine might be weak enough to fall for being the other guy waiting in the wings, but he's a damn good person and selfless as all hell. He doesn't deserve to be strung along."

"You think I don't know that?" Kurt snapped. "Why do you think I let him go? He deserves someone better. What he and I did was selfish, I know that. Me more than him, but he only cared that I was comfortable. He only cared about what I wanted. He even tried to help Vin be able to communicate better with me. All the while telling me it was okay that I made him wait because he wanted me to be really sure that my choice was what I really wanted. And what was I? I don't deserve someone like that. Don't you know that I know Blaine's too good for me? How can I not? Fuck, based on what I did, Vin is too good for me too, but…" Kurt couldn't finish his thought.

Matty let go of Kurt's arm. His eyes were less intense than they were previously. Kurt understood Matty's immense protection of his friend. Band mates are like family. There's a bond there. It was like when Kurt and the rest of his Glee-mates rushed to Rachel's defense, sophomore year in high school, when things got bad with Vocal Adrenalin. Rachel was annoying and irritating, but she was one of them. Blaine is the same in Matty's eyes, minus the part about being annoying and irritating. He only saw Kurt as those things right now. "At least we're on the same page on this," he said.

"Look, I know you don't like me very much right now, but what do you want me to do here?"

"I want you stay away from him. Ignore him. Leave him be."

"I tried that, remember? I stayed away for six months and we still ran into each other. This is a huge city with millions of people and when the two of us were purposely trying to not run into each other, it only took six months for that to not work."

"Try harder."

"I care about him."

"Then stop breaking his heart!"

"Matty!" Kurt whipped his head around and both him and Matty were staring Blaine in the face. "That's enough."

"I was just-"

"Stay out of it," Blaine said with finality. He flicked his eyes to Kurt. Matty took the last drag off his cigarette and put it out with his foot.

Kurt's mouth opened and closed. He was in shock and didn't know how much Blaine had heard of Matty and his argument. His eyes shifted from one of Blaine's eyes to the other and took in a shaky breath. Matty left them both and went inside the bar without another word.

"I should go," Kurt said softly.

"Wait," Blaine pleaded.

"I shouldn't have come. Matty was right."

"I'll deal with him. He had no right to say what he did."

"Someone had to. He had a point."

"No he didn't."

"How can you trust me? I lead you on and even though I don't mean to, I still am. If I chose you instead of Vin, how do you know I wouldn't cheat on you like I did him?"

"I trust you because I know you. Vin clearly doesn't. If he did then you wouldn't have your doubts."

"Yes I would."

"Why?"

"Because I'd still have you in my life. It isn't him that made me turn to you; it was you. He could have been anyone and I would still have fell right into your arms the way I did. I felt… connected to you in a way that I never have before. It's effortless to be around you. You know me better than anyone and that scares the hell out of me because it was like I didn't need to say anything. You just knew. "

"Why didn't you choose me then?"

"I didn't want to hurt you anymore."

"You weren't hurting me," Blaine insisted.

"That night we got caught in the rain…"

"My last night there?"

"Yes. I was on the phone with Vin and when I got off, I realized that he would do anything to make me happy."

"And I wouldn't?"

"You would. I knew you would. Especially after I realized that he and I were only doing better because he took the advice of the person who wanted me just as badly as he did. But after what I'd done and was doing… You deserve so much better than what I had to offer."

"What does that even mean? And it wasn't up to you to decide what I did and didn't deserve. I wanted you."

"Wanted," Kurt repeated softly. "Past tense." He put his hands in his pockets and looked sheepishly down at the pavement. He was almost ashamed and embarrassed for admitting his feelings this way. He saw Blaine's shoes take a step toward him.

"Want…. Present tense."

Kurt looked up.

"I still want you." He took another step. They were close now. Kissing distance. Blaine gulped. "I'll always want you."

Kurt could feel Blaine's breath on his mouth. It tickled the nerves in his lips. His breath was hot in contrast to the bitter cold of the December night air. He gulped just like Blaine did and uttered the words he should have said all along. "I want you too." Whether it was Blaine or Kurt that kissed who first, they didn't know. Their lips were on each other and moving together with feeling.

Kurt whimpered and Blaine's hands moved to his face, cradling his cheeks between both his hands and tangling his fingers in Kurt's hair. Blaine pulled his lips away and looked deep in Kurt's eyes. "I want you. I want to be with you and I don't care if what we're doing puts a negative label on it. I just want you." He kissed Kurt again. They breathed deeply through their noses and Kurt moaned softly.

"Blaine-"

"No," Blaine interjected. "I don't wanna know. I don't want to hear you apologize or tell me that you can't do that to me. Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it. I'll be fine. Just do whatever you have to and I'll wait. I know you care about Vin and I know you love him, but whatever you have with him can't compare to us. I know it. I can feel it and I know you do too, otherwise, you wouldn't be here with me."

"Blaine." Kurt looked self deprecating.

"I don't care if it means I'm weak or helping you cheat on a guy who doesn't deserve it. I don't care anymore, maybe I never did. I don't know. I just-" He kissed Kurt again, as if frantic to prove a point. "Waiting and being weak is better than being without you. So whatever you have to do, I'll wait. I won't wait long, but I'll wait."

"You need to understand something. If you already do that's fine, but I need to know for myself that at least I said it. I'm a mess. I let you and Vin make the decision for me last time and I'm a coward for that. I'm… I'm terrified of letting myself be with you and that fear has done nothing, but cause you pain and anger." He paused, glancing at Blaine's expression and trying to read it. "I'm not worth it."

There was silence for thirty seconds. "What happened to you?" Blaine asked with anguish in his voice. Kurt looked questionably at Blaine. "Who did this to you to make you think that you're not worth it?" He put his hands on Kurt's shoulders and grasped hard. "You're… The way I feel about you… the indescribable reasons why I feel the way I do about you… there's no way for me to ever believe that you're not worth it. You're everything, Kurt. You're worth everything to me."

"How could you know that?" Kurt said loudly, feeling a lump rising in his throat. "You haven't seen me in six months and the time we spent together before then was disastrous."

"That's not the way I remember it."

"Matty's right. I have to stop breaking your heart. It isn't fair to either one of you."

"It isn't fair to you either. I know you want us both. I know you're torn. But you can have us both until you know for sure."

"You mean, until I choose you." Blaine went silent and his face read all the answer Kurt needed. "Blaine, what are you doing to yourself? You don't know what you're agreeing to."

"Yes I do. Kurt, I came alive when I met you. I knew within minutes that I had to have you in my life. I was drawn to you. You said that it wasn't Vin that made you run to me; it was me. It wasn't just me. It was you too. We're supposed to end up together. I just know it."

"Just stop. I can't do this! Don't you get it?" Kurt was near tears. Blaine could hear it in his voice.

"Obviously not! What can't you do? Tell me."

"I can't lose you!" Kurt almost screamed it. The tears came and he couldn't hold them back anymore. "I'm going to break your heart again. I know it. I'm going to do it again and again no matter how much I don't want to. If I choose him, then I get to keep you. If I choose you, then you'll eventually see that I don't deserve you, and you'll leave me, and we won't be friends or lovers or anything. You'll hate me and I can't have that." His voice choked and he couldn't speak anymore.

Blaine quickly grabbed Kurt and held him close. He was far past caring who saw or heard their spat in the street. "Never, Kurt; never. I told you. I'll never stop wanting you. I could never hate you. We're like Justin and Brian from Queer As Folk, or um… what was that movie we watched? When Harry Met Sally. I'll even be Sally."

Kurt sniffled and made a noise that almost resembled laughter. "No way. You'd never be able to pull of Meg Ryan."

Blaine laughed. "Fine. Billy Crystal then."

Kurt let Blaine wipe his tears with his thumbs. "Don't they get together in the end?"

Blaine just smiled. "I know what I'm asking and agreeing to. I know what's in store for us and I'm saying that I want to go through it. I know it will be hard, but I want to go through it if it means that I get to have you in the end."

"But what if you don't? What if you don't get me in the end?"

"Why don't we cross that bridge if that's the road we take. 'We' being the key word. We'll do this together. We'll work through this and we'll see where we end up. If it doesn't work out… then at least we'd know that we tried. And I'd have no regrets."

"I'd have a few." Kurt sniffled again.

"You do stand to lose the most. I could either lose or keep you. Vin could either lose or keep you, though he doesn't exactly know that. But you… You lose someone you care about either way."

Kurt blinked, knowing what Blaine was saying to be true. According to Kurt, he felt that whatever pain or loss he got in the end was well deserved. How could he say yes to what Blaine was offering? How could he say no? He wanted Blaine. Desperately he wanted Blaine, but picking up the affair that they were having and continuing it was probably more wrong than the first time. He looked at Blaine and held his hands. He looked at everything like he was memorizing everything about him. His face and all his features. The hope that Blaine held in his eyes and the pleas that he was holding back from all the others. His lips and his neck that he'd kissed so many times. His arms and hands that held Kurt close for nights on end. His chest and torso that Kurt could never keep his eyes off of. He couldn't. He couldn't put Blaine through this. He couldn't go to Vin and tell him that he'd been having a prolonged affair with Blaine. He couldn't hurt Vin like that. He couldn't leave them both and couldn't have them both. Right now, he just knew that he couldn't be around Blaine and not want to kiss him or more. He couldn't do this all over again. He just couldn't. But he would.

Kurt brought Blaine's hands up to his lips and kissed them both. Then he brought them down and wrapped them around his own waist, pulling Blaine back in again. He tangled his fingers in Blaine's curls and slowly, ever so slowly, he brought his lips to Blaine's.

It was that moment that, no matter what happened or what could happen, Blaine felt like he'd won.


	32. Chapter 32

**If you can believe it, my power chord broke again a week and a half ago, so the reason this hasn't been updated is because I was out of my laptop for a week and I was writing everything long hand. BUT the problem is fixed and here is the long awaited chapter 32 :)**

**Oh! FYI this whole chapter is about Vin.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32<strong>

**Vin and Kurt**

"How was your Christmas?" Kurt asked over a cup of coffee the morning after the holiday.

"You know?" Vin began merrily. "For my first holiday without my family, it was nice."

"Yeah?" Kurt said, happily pleased that his boyfriend was being so positive about his situation. "So you had a nice Christmas with your friends? Good." He smiled into his phone at Vin, knowing he couldn't see him, but he genuinely was happy for him. "I'm glad."

"Me too. They made a beautiful dinner and we listened to Christmas music and just talked the entire time. The couple that I had dinner with had another guy there that I've never met, Brady."

"Brady?" Kurt asked for clarification. His cousin sauntered in sleepily to pour herself a cup of coffee and it distracted him for a second. He nodded his head to her and mouthed 'good morning' before she shuffled her feet back out of the kitchen with a steaming cup clutched in her hands. Clearly Kurt's cousin was not a morning person.

"Yeah. He's this young thing in college. His boyfriend is overseas and he had no where to go for Christmas either. He's really kind of adorable," Vin chuckled. "Boundless energy and all that. One of those people who's always happy." He paused. "Oh-to-be-young I guess."

"Aww," Kurt cooed. "That's sweet. Looks like you had yourself a big gay Christmas." Kurt smiled again.

"Is there any other kind?" Vin laughed. "Anyway, I'm having lunch with him today."

Kurt's eyebrows went up. "A date?"

"No," Vin said with a breathy laugh. "It's just lunch."

"Mm-hmm." Kurt was trying not to laugh again. He was happy that they could be playful about this and not have it be awkward that they were opening talking about dating other people while still dating each other.

They chatted for a few minutes longer before Kurt had to go. He promise his cousin's daughters he'd take them shopping with Carol and Rachel and he had to start getting ready.

**Vin and Brady**

"Cob salad, please," Brady ordered. "You have the most beautiful eyes," he gushed at the waitress, leaning in a little and openly staring with wide-eyed pleasure into her eyes. "I can't tell if they're blue or green."

The waitress beamed and the compliment obviously made her day and she glowed. "Thank you, Sweetie. That's so nice of you." The waitress was middle aged with seemingly perfect hair and over done make-up, but Brady was right. The waitress' eyes were beautiful. She left after that and Vin smiled into his water before taking a sip and rolling his eyes.

"What?" Brady asked. He grinned, showing all of his teeth. The corners of his eyes crinkled, making his baby face even more adorable.

"You compliment everyone."

"I prefer to be nice. You never know what a kind word will do for someone."

Vin pondered that thought for a second and decided to store that piece of information in his head. It was good advice and he thought that maybe it would be better implemented than thought of. "My boyfriend has eyes like hers," he said absently, but picturing Kurt's eyes in his head.

"Oh yeah?" Brady leaned forward, putting his chin in his hand, obviously interested in what Vin was saying. "I love that color. It's gorgeous."

"Mm, it is. Blue-green. You can never tell what color they are. Some days, depending on what he's wearing, they look like diamonds." Vin pulled out his phone. "Here. This is him." He flicked through a couple of photos and stopped on one of Kurt's smiling.

"He's beautiful."

"He is." Vin smiled with pride.

Brady appraised Vin's expression to gage what would be appropriate to ask. "My boyfriend has eyes like yours." He pulled out a photo from his wallet. It was of a man in a military uniform.

"Wow! Navy? That's, um… I mean- isn't a significant other in the military a commitment?"

"It is and he's definitely something else." He chuckled a little and sipped his water.

"I take it he's not a friend of Dorothy?"

"Oh no!" Brady laughed. "I mean, he'll prance around in his underwear at the bars, but away from pride week or gay bars, he's as straight as they come. Well, as straight as one can be while giving oral to another man."

"Is it hard being with someone not open?"

Brady looked matter of fact and corrected Vin. "Oh, he's open. He hugs me in public and takes me out like another other couple would. He's just not a stereotype."

Vin was taken aback. Being out of the closet was still something new to him and learning about others that are open was a new and interesting topic to him. "And no one cares?"

"Nope. His family is cool with it and on the ship he keeps it to himself mostly. His crew mates know and everything, but since he's really REALLY good at what he does and doesn't hit on any of them, they care more that he's tough as nails and could probably kick the shit out of anyone, three men at a time than they do about his sexuality."

"How did they find out? Did he just tell them or…?

"He brought me to one of their Navel Ball Banquets. I swear, I'd never been more attracted to a man in a uniform than I was on that cruise ship and seeing a room full of them." He laughed and pretended to fan himself. "Some people asked if I was his brother and he said that I was his partner." He laughed again at a memory. "One guy had the balls to ask 'partner in what?' God, I wanted to curl up and laugh right then and there because Jackson looked him right in the eyes and said 'Bed. He's my boyfriend.' Sure enough, word spread like wildfire and by the end of the night, everyone knew and some people weren't okay with it, but the captain set them straight because he had a son that was gay or something. I never got the full story on that."

"Wow. That took some guts to do that."

Brady looked proud. "It did. But that's Jackson though. Fearless. Sometimes he gets this look in his eyes that's like 'Go ahead. Challenge me. I dare you.' People get so scared when he looks at them like that. I don't think I've ever seen anyone try to pick a fight with him. Ever."

"Not even you?" Vin asked playfully.

Brady responded with a 'bitch-please' expression. "Well, I'm the exception. I came into his life and that poor man didn't have a chance."

"Ah,' Vin nodded. "Spoiled brat. I get it."

Brady laughed, putting his hand to his chest. Vin noticed that his eyes glistened when he laughed, making him look even younger than he already appeared. He had a beautiful quality to him that Kurt had. Vin was slowly noticing that both he and Kurt had a lot of the same qualities. "Of course! No one says no to me. Well, not that anyone _wants_ to say no to me."

"Why's that?"

"Because I'm adorable… and awesome."

"Oh, and full of yourself too."

"A little, but really it's just me being honest with myself." Brady's confidence wasn't coming off as arrogant or cocky to Vin. Instead, it was more comical and, as Brady put it, adorable.

When the laughter subsided, Vin went back to asking about Brady's boyfriend, Jackson. He was fascinating to Vin. "So, is he the only homosexual on the ship?"

"No. I think he said there are three total, himself included. There's a couple other guys on the ship that he screws around with, but it's just physical really. One of them is another soldier like him, and the other, I believe, works as one of the chefs."

"Wait… screws around with? He sleeps with other men?"

"Sure." Brady said it like it was no big deal and it hadn't bothered him in the least. "I always send him off with a box of condoms and tell him that if he comes home with anything other than home sickness, he can find a new pretty young thing to wait for him to come home."

"You're okay with this?"

"Of course!" He scrunched his eyes together like he was really saying 'Duh.' Brady got the impression that this was a concept unheard of to Vin so he elaborated. "We're separated from each other for months at a time. We're still faithful to each other where it matters. I don't fall for other people. He doesn't give his heart away to anyone, but me, God, and country." He paused. "It's just sex."

"Wow." Vin thought of Kurt and their current agreement.

"We've been together for so long that it hardly matters. When he retires we'll both settle down and we'll commit to just each other, but for now, this works just as well."

"I don't know if Kurt and I could ever openly agree to that. Especially after my past. I mean, I'm surprised that he even suggested we date other people."

Brady narrowed his eyes, curiously. "Are you really surprised?"

The question begged a string of thoughts that Vin had previously though of to be expelled. "Well, yes and no. I'm surprised because he's a monogamous type and he was so grossed out by my past that at first I thought this was some sort of test."

"And now?"

"Now I think someone else had caught his attention and he's confused for the moment."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because it'd be so strange and out of character for him to suggest something like an open relationship. There must be someone giving him attention that makes him question our validity."

"And you're okay with this? You two don't seem so open about everything."

"There's nothing I can do about someone else having feelings for him, if I'm right, but I'm not worried. He and I have gone through too much to end like that. I'm sure he just needs some time and he'll some around. It's not that he keeps secrets really. He just internalizes them first and thinks about things then discusses the, afterwards with me. He's just like that." Vin shrugged. He didn't seem too bothered by his own thoughts. Mainly because nothing was going wrong in their relationship at the moment he Kurt wasn't acting suspicious.

"So you can date?"

Vin nodded.

"But no sex?"

Vin nodded again.

"Is that what this is? A date?"

Vin laughed and if Brady wasn't mistaken, Vin blushed a little too. He was always a sucker for bashful men in their thirties. Older men were his fancy. Even his current boyfriend, Jackson, was thirty-five. "You're what? Nineteen?"

"Twenty-one. My birthday was two weeks ago. You didn't answer my question. Is this a date?"

"I'm eleven years older than you."

"Jackson is thirty-five. What can I say?" He smiled playfully and shrugged. "I like older men. I sort of lied about my age when I was sixteen and Jackson and I have been together since then. He almost died when he saw my real license when I was seventeen."

"So he was thirty when you two got together?"

"Uh-huh." Brady seemed very happy talking about this.

"What did he do when he found out your real age?"

"Well, he had a lot of questions because he thought I lied to him. The only thing I lied about really was my age, but still, I can see how he was freaked out. I was emancipated when I was fifteen and got my GED when I was sixteen. I wasn't homeless exactly, but I more or less lived out of my car when I met Jackson. He thought I was twenty-one at first because we met at a bar. Guess he didn't know how many minors get into gay bars with fake Ids that look nothing like the owner. When he found out, he freaked because he was in the military already and thought he was committing a crime. He wasn't. Age of consent was sixteen. Worst thing that could happen would be people thinking he was a cradle robber or a pervert, which wasn't a good thing either way, but because I wasn't in school, we decided that if people asked, we'd lie about my age to others and say that I just looked young for my age."

Vin was clearly interested in everything Brady was saying and was hanging onto everything he said. "He didn't question being with you?"

"Oh, of course he did! I lied to him and, like I said, he thought he committed a crime. But, well, as I said earlier, no one wants to say no to me." He smiled. "Jackson loves me and when he really thought about it, keeping a secret for one year was better than us being apart forever."

"Then what happened?"

"He got all serious and said that if he and I were going to be together then things were going to be a certain way. He explained everything to his parents and, while they weren't completely okay with the truth, they loved their son and trusted him and agreed to support his decision. They still saw me as a kid and his mother insisted I move in. So I did. I lived with them and worked full time at a clothing store nearby. I helped them pay bills and stuff and they were really sweet to me. They treated me like I was their own kid. They were better parents to me than my own." He looked off thoughtfully and paused. "Then Jackson insisted I needed to work towards something greater because he wanted me to want more for myself." Brady chuckled. "I swear, that man is the biggest motivator. I don't know where I'd be without him. Probably still living out of my car. Anyway, I moved to Vermont when I got accepted into college and I've been here every since."

"Why weren't you with his parents at Christmas instead?"

"They flew out to California to spend Christmas with their relatives and I could have gone, but I didn't want anyone else to pay for the plain ticket. They've done enough for me as it is. I couldn't afford to take the time off of work. I'm a full time student and I also work full time. Jackson offered to pay for my schooling too, but I refused. I told him I'd pay for it somehow and like everything else in my life, I figured it out. It aggravated him because he always wants to help, but the fact that I've done all this on my own makes both him and I very proud of me."

Vin looked at Brady like he was a different kind of human altogether. He was blown away by what Brady had gone through in his life. He shook his head minutely with wide eyes, still hanging on his unspoken words.

"So!" Brady quickly changed the subject and became perky again. "About our date."

Vin snapped back into reality and laughed, leaning back in his chair. "This is lunch. It's not a date."

"Then why don't we have dinner tonight and make it a date?"

Vin blushed. He felt flattered that someone as young and adorable as Brady was flirting with him. "I don't know. You're so young. I'm flattered. Really."

"You're cute when you blush. I love grown men who get flustered." Their food came and Brady complemented the waitress once more. "And I also do not take no for a final answer."

* * *

><p>So, didn't see that coming huh? Vin has an idea that someone else MIGHT be in Kurt's life, but it's only an assumption. What does everyone think of Brady? I really like him. Before any of you ask, you will be meeting Jackson at some point and he will be pretty great as well.<p>

I'd love to hear your predictions. My beta knows what will happen and believe me, she was pretty happy with my direction the story is taking, so I hope all of you will be as well. (Also, she didn't see any of it coming) :-P

Next chapter is all Klaine.

Please review!

Tumblr URL: Grace-Ryan


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

The same day that Kurt returned to New York, he got a call from Blaine asking if Kurt wanted to come over later for dinner. Kurt accepted and by six o'clock he found himself ring Blaine's doorbell.

Blaine greeted him with a great big smile when he opened the door. "Merry-few-days-after-Christmas," he said, openly gazing at Kurt with glistening eyes.

"Merry Christmas," Kurt returned. There was a pause and they stood awkwardly with the door open. "Can I come in? It's cold outside."

"Oh! Um. I'd let you, but, you see-" He bit his lip and looked up.

Kurt followed Blaine's eye line and saw mistletoe hanging above them in the doorway. He chuckled softly and gave Blaine a peck on the cheek. He stayed true to himself that he wanted to find out the extent of how he feels, but that didn't mean that he would allow himself to jump into physicalities with Blaine just because he could. His open relationship with Vin was now affording him the option of kissing Blaine. He couldn't deny that just one look at Blaine's full lips made him want to taste them instantly. Now that he was allowed to think these things he couldn't stop the repressed thoughts from surfacing from the depths Kurt had pushed them to.

Blaine stared at him with an expression to mean _that's it? _"That's not a mistletoe kiss," he pouted.

"That's not real mistletoe," Kurt replied flirtatiously.

Blaine stepped out of the way and let Kurt in. "Well played."

Blaine's house was still decked out in Christmas decorations with holy and ivy and wreaths every where. Lights were tastefully placed on the banisters with garland.

"Who decorated?"

"Wes and I. The others are too much like boys to be able to pull this off." He gestured around the house.

"Any special occasion, other than Christmas?"

"We had an Ugly-Christmas-Sweater part."

"Oh?" Kurt asked with a hint of disappointment. He wondered why he hadn't been invited.

Blaine was quick to add, "You weren't here. I would have invited you, but you were in D.C. and it was a last minute thing."

"Blaine, it's fine. Not every part of your life involves me…" His face softened, allowing himself to show his relief that Blaine actually wanted him around. "…but thanks for saying it." Blaine smiled. "What smells so good?"

"Meatloaf. It's nothing special, but my Nana had a fantastic recipe."

"Nana?"

Blaine blushed. "Well, what do you call your grandmother?"

"Grandma." Kurt deposited his shoes and Blaine hung up Kurt's coat.

"Wine?" Blaine asked.

"Please." They made their way to the kitchen and Blaine poured them both a glass and explained that they had the house to themselves because everyone else was still home in Ohio except Wes, who had to come back with Blaine to get back to Broadway. "That's too bad," Kurt sympathized.

"Not really. I like working and if you spent more than two days with my family you'd want to come back here before you pulled your hair out too." He took a large sip of wine and checked the status of his meal before asking Kurt about Christmas in Washington D.C.

Kurt had already told everything to Vin that he was saying to Blaine, but he found himself being more animated with his stories because Blaine seemed way more excited listening than Vin. _Vin has been a little distracted lately,_ he thought

Blaine poured himself another glass of wine and hopped up onto the counter top by the stove to sit and listen to the rest of Kurt's time in the nation's capitol.

"…And Finn pushed my grandmother for the whole parade in her wheelchair, while she held a sign that says: My grandson gets his taste in men from me." They both laughed heavily at the thought of a grumpy old woman holding a pride sign.

Their laughter tapered off slowly and they found themselves staring at each other in one of their emotion filled eye locks. "Come here," Blaine stated soft and low.

Taking only a second to think about the command, Kurt moved across the kitchen and stopped in front of Blaine, putting his glass down next to Blaine's full one on the counter.

"Closer," Blaine said again. Kurt licked his lips and moved closer still, so that his hips were touching Blaine's dangling legs. He could small Blaine's cologne from their close proximity.

Blaine's hazel eyes searched Kurt's them flicked down to his lips. "Closer," he said lowly. It was almost a whisper.

A shiver went through Kurt's body from head to toe. He lifted his hands and made a motion to put them on the counter near Blaine's, but Blaine caught his fingers and brought them to rest on his hips as he spread his knees further apart so Kurt could tuck himself in closer.

Kurt's breath caught and took notice of how close he was to Blaine right now. He could count the number of lashes Blaine had on his eyes, see the hint of a scar on his hairline, and smell his aftershave. His heart began to pound hard inside his ribcage. He licked his lips again and whispered, "There's no mistletoe."

Blaine brought his hand up and brushed away a stray lock from Kurt's forehead. His heart was pounding just like Kurt's was. He swallowed audibly and he let go of the breath he was holding through his nose. "Maybe we should just pretend."

In the time it took for Kurt to take a breath, Blaine's lips were on his, soft and gentle. They kissed slowly, their lips becoming wet and making soft smacking noises between kisses. He could taste the wine that Blaine drank as Blaine slipped his tongue into his mouth. Blaine's lips tasted like the lip balm that Blaine must have put on previously to Kurt arriving. The combination of mint and red wine was a strange combination, but whatever the flavor, Kurt only knew that he wanted to taste more of it.

Kurt's hands gripped Blaine's hips tighter and pulled Blaine closer. Blaine's grip on Kurt tightened as well and a whimper erupted from each other their throats. Their heads began to careen back and forth as their kissing became more heated and intense. The scent of dinner cooking wafted in the air while the house was silent, which made their moans seem that much louder. Blaine was pawing at Kurt's back, his hands running up and down the fabric of Kurt's shirt, reveling in the feel of contact.

_Beep! Beep!_

The alarm from the oven timer blared right next to Kurt and Blaine and both jumped, startled by the sound. "Shit!" Blaine exclaimed. His hand hit one of the wine glasses and knocked it over. The red liquid seeped onto his shirt and pants.

"Oh God!" Kurt yelled with him and backed off of Blaine instantly. The glass crashed to the floor and shattered. "Um… Shit." He wasn't sure what to do first. "Don't jump down; you'll cut your feet on the glass." He held up his hands protectively. "Mop?"

"Hallway closet."

Kurt ran to fetch the mop and brought it into the kitchen. He carefully started mopping up the wine and pushing the glass out of the way so Blaine could get off the counter. When he was done he went back to the closet to get the broom and dustpan. He wasn't paying any attention to Blaine because he was so focused on the glass and picking it up. When he put everything away he went back into the kitchen and halted instantly. Blaine was standing in his boxers, which were also stained by the red wine, holding his jeans and shirt.

There was silence for a few moments and Kurt saw Blaine's chest speckled with pink splotches. Blaine was blushing. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "I-I need seltzer water," he said bashfully.

"Oh. Um. Okay. Here." Kurt tore his eyes from Blaine's mostly naked figure and held out his hands. Let me soak your clothes and you can go get dressed.

"Alright." Blaine walked over to Kurt, handing his clothes over and gulped before turning to walk away.

Kurt couldn't stop himself from glancing once or twice at Blaine as he walked down the hall.

While Blaine changed, Kurt soaked Blaine's clothes in a large bowl of seltzer water, and took dinner out of the oven so it wouldn't burn. He searched through the cabinets to find plates and he served both Blaine and himself. He brought both plates into the dining room. He poured two more glasses of wine and brought those into the dining room as well as two settings of utensils. By the time Blaine rejoined him, he was just lighting the candles on the table.

Blaine snuck up behind him and kissed his neck lightly. "Sorry about that," he said as he blushed and took a seat in front of one of the plates Kurt put down.

"It's okay. I have your clothes soaking, but I don't know how well the wine is going to come out."

"You didn't have to do that, but thank you for cleaning up."

Kurt batted his eyes and smiled. "I wasn't about to let you do everything. It was a mess and it needed to be cleaned up." There was an awkward pause as Kurt took the empty seat. "So, dinner smells good."

"Thanks for taking it out… and serving it. I feel like I invited you over to do everything."

"Stop right there. I'm sure you didn't plan on knocking over your wine and ruining a gorgeous Armani shirt." He reached forward and picked up his wine glass.

"No." He licked his lips and looked at the table, away from Kurt. "I was hoping to kiss you like that though."

Kurt almost choked on the wine he had in his mouth and he put the glass down. "You were?"

"Yes. I always hope to kiss you like that." Kurt didn't answer. "Sorry, but it's true."

The corners of Kurt's lips turned up slightly and he blushed. "Don't be sorry. I like it when you kiss me like that."

Blaine finally looked up from the table and smiled bashfully at Kurt with glistening eyes. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

Dinner was lovely and their time was spent catching up on missed time and staring at each other dreamily before someone dared to break the silence.

By eight o'clock, Wes had called Blaine during his intermission and said that there was a party that one of the cast members was having and he was asked to extend the invitation for Blaine to come. Blaine said he'd call Wes back because Kurt was with him at the moment and Wes invited Kurt along too. "The more the merrier."

"Do you wanna go?" Blaine asked.

"If you want. We can go."

"Whatever you want. I'm just as happy sitting alone here and popping a movie in or just hanging out."

"If I weren't here, would you go?"

"Maybe."

Kurt giggled. "That's not an answer."

Blaine smiled, still loving the sound of Kurt's laugh. "Okay, fine. Yes, I'd probably go. Theater parties are the best."

Kurt stood up. "Okay then." He picked up his empty plate and empty glass. "Then we'll go."

At the party, Kurt had a nostalgic moment. He kept thinking that if he could have told his younger self that he would be partying with Broadway actors, he knew he'd never believe himself. But here he was, on Blaine's arm, and chatting it up with people that were Tony nominees, former television actors, professional dancers, and the like. Everyone was friendly and everyone was funny. It seemed that everyone wanted to be his friend and he'd never felt more at home with a group of people, than he did right now, since glee club in high school.

Blaine kept reminding Kurt not to drink the punch like it was water because it wasn't uncommon for this group of people to put entirely too much alcohol, that you couldn't taste, in their drinks. The more Kurt drank, the less he remembered and after one too many, he was freely dancing with Blaine in the living room with reckless abandon.

It wasn't that Blaine was paying more attention to what Kurt was drinking than himself, it was that he didn't want to get more drunk than Kurt. He wanted to be at least semi coherent to be able to take care of him. Because if memory served him correctly, Kurt often needed to be taken care of after a night of drinking. Tonight was no different.

Two o'clock in the morning came faster than expected and because Kurt's apartment was closer than his own, Blaine took Kurt to his home with the expectation of staying there as well because he wanted to make sure Kurt was okay. The last thing he wanted to do was leave a very drunk Kurt to his own devices with no help. Also, after newly reuniting, the kiss they shared earlier, the grind dancing at the party, the many kisses they shared through out the night, and the fucking adorable way Kurt kept blushing, Blaine really didn't want to leave Kurt's side. He just wanted to look at him. He wanted to hold him and lye next to him and look at how beautiful he is.

That's what Blaine wanted. Kurt, on the other hand, pounced at Blaine in the hallway of his apartment and pinned him to the wall. Kurt had something else in his alcohol addled brain.

Their lips moved together fervently in a kiss that was all lips and tongue and heavy breathing with a moan here and there. Blaine spun Kurt around and pushed him against the wall outside the door to Kurt's apartment continuing to kiss him hard. He backed off a little, but still hung on to Kurt. "Wait. We need to cool down."

"Why?" Kurt asked, breathing like he'd just run a mile in three minutes. He pulled Blaine back up against him. They moaned together as Kurt plunged his tongue into Blaine's mouth.

"Uhng! Kurt. I… I want you. I want you so bad." He went back to kissing Kurt like it'd be that last time he'd ever taste Kurt's plush lips.

"I know." Kiss. "I want you too." Kurt pulled Blaine's hips to his own and grinded his groin forward against Blaine. Their lips were making smacking noises and Blaine moaned into Kurt's mouth at the recognition of what Kurt just said.

"You do?"

"Yes."

"Oh God, Kurt. I've wanted you for so long." Blaine was pushed off of Kurt as Kurt rolled to the side and started fiddling with his keys to get into his apartment. Blaine stood behind him and kissed his neck softly, making sure he wouldn't leave a mark.

By the time the door opened they were laughing and stumbling inside. They kicked their shoes off and Kurt threw his coat onto the kitchen chair.

"Kurt?" came a voice from the living room. "Kurt is that you?"

Kurt's stomach was threatening to jump into his chest and he feared his dinner was going to make a surprise appearance. This was a voice he knew and knew well. It wasn't Puck's. It wasn't his stepbrother.

It was Vin.

Blaine dropped Kurt's hand instantly and Vin appeared in the doorway of the kitchen looking tired and rubbing his eyes, like he had just woken up. "Where were y- Blaine? What are you doing here?"

Kurt lost all ability to talk. He was drunk and just making out with Blaine in the hallway. Not to mention he was about ninety-nine percent sure that something would have happened between him and Blaine, despite the fact that sex was something that wasn't supposed to happen outside of Vin and Kurt's open relationship. He looked to Blaine with wide eyes for help, but stumbled a bit when he turned his head too fast. Clearly he was still massively drunk.

"Uh. Party." Blaine tried his best to sound as sober as possible. "Kurt drank a little too much and I brought him home." He paused, looking at Vin and hoping that he believed him. He didn't want to start any more trouble for Kurt than Kurt already felt he was in. Looking at Vin and seeing the look in his eyes, he was sure that Vin was not happy to see Blaine, nor was he expecting it.

Kurt just stared at Vin, still not being able to talk.

"Well, thanks. That was nice of you… But I'm here so I can take care of him now." Vin sounded jealous. It was dripping from his words and expression.

"Right. Um. Okay." Blaine turned to Kurt and saw his bruised lips, hoping that Vin didn't see what he saw. He wanted to tell himself that he wished Vin did notice and know that Kurt was kissing Blaine, but he didn't want Kurt in pain and didn't want to rush Kurt. If they were to split, it should be Kurt's doing and not Vin leaving him because Kurt did something wrong. "Thanks for hanging out with me. It was fun."

"Y-yeah," Kurt said, finally finding words. "Thanks for the invite. Your friends were really great."

"Okay." He raised his hand to wave slightly and he tucked his lips behind his teeth. "Good night. See you around."

"Bye."

"Good to see you, Vin." That was a giant lie. He'd rather not have seen Vin and currently be in bed with Kurt.

"Yup. You too," Vin said blandly. "Hope you get home safely."

Blaine gave Kurt one last look and gave him a sympathetic look. "Thanks," he said and turned to leave.

Once the door was closed, Kurt and Vin stood there in silence. "You're here early. I didn't expect you to get here until Saturday."

"I missed you." That was partially true. He was really there because he had something important he wanted to say to Kurt, but now it seemed to have flown out the window the second he saw Blaine. "When did you start talking to Blaine again?"

"Not that long ago. We ran into each other in a coffee shop and got to talking. He asked if I wanted to go to a party and meet some Broadway people."

"Why you?"

"Huh?"

"Why you and not one of his other friends?"

"I… I don't know. Does it matter?"

"Yes."

Kurt looked at Vin quizzically. He was still completely drunk and was surprised he was still standing. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that it matters to me that before we broke up, he kissed you and after half a year of not talking to him, he suddenly comes back into your life and you didn't tell me. Not to mention you're stumbling into your apartment drunker than I've ever seen you at ungodly o'clock in the morning with him."

"Oh." Kurt rubbed his neck. "You're jealous. I get it."

"I'm not-"

"Yeah. Yeah you are. Even with my blurred vision I can see it written all over you."

"I just don't like knowing he's around you when he kissed you."

"But you'd be okay with me dating anyone else and kissing them because you agreed to an open relationship. Is that it?"

"Is that what that was? You were on a date with him?"

"No! I wasn't on a date with him. I went to a party with him and met his friends."

"Who are great apparently. You seem to really like his friends, but you hated mine."

"Seriously? We're having this argument again? Fine. I didn't like yours because they wanted to fuck me three ways from Sunday like I was a bought and paid for whore! His friends wanted to get to know me and we talked about Broadway shows and music. When did your friends try to get to know me once? If it had nothing to do with what's in my pants, they wanted nothing to do with me. God, Vin! Who's the drunk one here?"

Vin took a breath. Kurt was right. There was a reason Vin didn't hang out with that group of people any more. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just… I'm jealous like you said. I'm jealous that he kissed you once and then less than a week later, you and me broke up."

"And he and I stopped talking until recently. I didn't do anything wrong." That was true. Kurt had only kissed Blaine. According to their open relationship agreement, he was allowed to do that. Even in his drunken, hazy thoughts, he knew he hadn't done anything wrong this time. Had Vin not been here, he might have done something wrong, but now that Kurt thought about it, he was grateful that Vin was here because it stopped him from doing something he wasn't supposed to. Although, he was still curious why Vin was here at all because he wasn't supposed to be there for a few days.

Vin calmed himself down and gently rubbed his forehead. He opened his arms and took a couple steps toward Kurt. "Come here. Please? I missed you."

Kurt sighed and stepped toward Vin, his head spinning, making Kurt need to right himself. Vin chuckled and went the rest of the way to Kurt and enveloped him in his arms. "Come on. I'll tuck you in."

Kurt took one more step and lurched. "Ugh. Bathroom. I'm going to throw up." He took one step. "Nope. Not going to make it." He rushed over to the trash can, which was four steps away and vomited. Vin kept his arms around Kurt to make sure he stayed in the right place to continue vomiting and rubbed his back. "Guh. This does not-" he heaved again. "-taste good on the way up."

"What did you eat? It looks like cat food."

"Meatloaf." Kurt vomited once more at the thought of food. "It's in my nose."

Vin laughed. "Well maybe you shouldn't drink that much next time."

Kurt, feeling like he was finished heaving the contents of his stomach, slumped down to the floor. "Ugh, he warned me too."

"Who?"

"Blaine. He told me not to drink so much so quickly because what I was drinking was a lot stronger than I thought."

"Why didn't you tell me you were talking to him again?"

"It never came up. You also don't like talking about him. You get this look on your face-" he lolled his head to look at Vin, who had gotten napkin with warm water to wipe his face. "-that one."

"What one?"

"The look on your face now. You have it whenever Blaine's name is mentioned. You don't like him."

"It's not that I don't like him."

"Yes it is."

"I'm actually happy to know that he was there to take care of you tonight. I mean, he took you home and warned you about the drinks, but this wouldn't be happening if he didn't take you to that party. You know?" Vin didn't want to come out and tell Kurt that he thought Blaine was trying to take Kurt away from him. He knew Kurt wasn't doing anything wrong, but he didn't miss how shocked Kurt was for Vin to see them. Kurt said that the topic of Blaine never came up, but Vin knew that Kurt didn't tell him on purpose. This led Vin to believe that he was right in thinking that someone was giving Kurt attention and now he thought he knew who it was. He wished he was living in ignorant bliss because he felt that it could have been anyone that gave Kurt attention, anyone but Blaine. He still harbored insecure feelings about Blaine since he found out they'd kissed. It only made it worse when they had broken up because he equated Blaine with Vin and Kurt breaking up. He knew it wasn't Blaine's fault, but because of the series of events that took place, his brain chunked them together. Blaine equaled heartache in Vin's eyes.

Vin helped Kurt clean up. He made him snort water to rinse the vomit out of his nose and drink milk to balance out the acid from his stomach. Then he gave him crackers to eat to settle his stomach and tucked him in. He curled next to Kurt, wrapping is arms around him and snuggling his nose into Kurt's hair. He told Kurt that he was there because he missed him, but that wasn't the real reason why he was there. He needed to tell him something that was eating him up inside and now that he was here and holding Kurt, he couldn't do it. Not after what happened when Kurt came home. Taking care of Kurt and seeing Blaine with Kurt, it made Vin chicken out on coming clean with the truth. He loved the man he was holding right now. How could he tell him the truth about why he was there? Instead, he snuggled closer and held Kurt tighter. "I love you," he whispered into Kurt's ear.

"Mmm," was Kurt's very sleepy answer. Seconds later Kurt was asleep.


	34. Chapter 34

**Hello my lovelies! Thank you so much for everyone's patience and well wishes for my loss. The sentiments are extremly sweet. I'm hoping to start bringing out the rest of these chapters and bringing this to an end.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 34<strong>

**Blaine**

It was a rare occasion these days when everyone in Blaine's house was able to eat dinner all together. Blaine made a salad while David kept an eye on the roast beef he put in earlier. Jeff was in charge of potatoes and carrots and Nick and Wes sniffed around, commenting on how hungry they were. David got sick of Nick continuously going into the kitchen and staring at the meat in the oven so he sent him out to buy something for everyone to drink with dinner. Wes decided to stay out of David's way in case he were to send him out for something too.

When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting around the dinner table, they all agreed that this was nice and it had been too long since they'd all sat down and had a meal together that they actually cooked. "We should make this a bi-weekly thing," Nick suggested. "You know, like make plans and stick to them to actually do this once every two weeks."

The meal was half done and their laughter was starting to die down after a while of telling stories and walking down memory lane. Blaine speared a carrot and popped it in his mouth when the questions started coming. "So, how's Kurt?" David asked. David knew the least about Kurt because they spent the least amount of time together.

"Kurt's good." Blaine swallowed the food in his mouth and took a sip of his drink.

"Are you together yet?"

Blaine pursed his lips, holding the liquid in his mouth before swallowing. David always was a little forward and straight to the point. "Nope," he answered popping the P at the end of the word.

"Why not?"

The other's had gone silent and Nick and Jeff went about eating their food without making eye contact because they knew everything already. "It's complicated."

"Doesn't seem that complicated. You like him; he likes you."

"Yes, I know that's how it works in the land of Is or Isn't, but there's more to it than that." He looked back at his meat, starting to cut more of it up into bite size pieces, and thought that the questioning was done. He was wrong.

"I know it's none of my business, but can you explain it to me? I still find it a little confusing."

"Well, he's in an open relationship with his current boyfriend that he's been with for a while and he has feelings for us both."

"And you're just waiting for him to make up his mind?"

"Yes."

David scrunched up his eyes. "That sounds stupid."

"Well, like I said… more than that. It's complicated." Blaine rolled his eyes and took a bite of his roast beef. "The beef's good."

"Thanks. It kind of sounds like he's using both of you."

"He's not," he was quick to defend. "Well, um… sort of, but not really."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"It doesn't have to. Not to you anyway. As long as I'm comfortable and okay with the current situation, it's fine."

"This is coming out wrong," David stated, putting his fork and knife down and picking up his glass. "I guess what I'm trying to ask is: what's it like? Just waiting and being around him, knowing he's with someone else?"

Blaine really thought. This was a question he could answer and not be mad at. "You know in High School when you were all into Amanda and she was with John? You were her friend until she dumped him for you. It's mostly like that… except I get to make out with him and stuff." He smirked and took another bit of meat.

"Does it ever bother you knowing he's with that other guy?"

"Not really. I mean, it does get annoying when randomly shows up like he did the other night, but I respect Kurt enough to wait."

"Wait for what? What is so hard about choosing?"

"I think he's making it harder for himself than it needs to be, but for the most part, he's just afraid of putting himself out there completely. He and I have never really talked about it, but I think he feels safe in whatever kind of relationship he has with Vin because he's pretty much the one in control. His past relationships have never been about him. He put his everything into his those relationships and they were awful enough to keep him from feeling like fully trusting anyone again was okay."

David wore this expression that Blaine could tell he was putting the pieces of a puzzle together in his brain. But, knowing David, they were large puzzle pieces and easy to fit. He wasn't going to understand completely, Blaine knew it. "So… while you two are building a stable base for a relationship, he just has this other guy in the mean time?"

When put like that, it sounded like Kurt was an awful person. "Um. Yeah. But it's more than that. It's hard to explain. I mean, he could just decide that he wants to stay with him and make things work."

"But you don't think that's how it's going to be."

"I could be wrong."

"But you don't think you will be."

"What does it matter, David?" Blaine finally snapped, sounding exhausted with answering questions about this.

Before David had a chance to answer, Wes perked up. "Well, I, for one, really hope it works out for you two because I like Kurt. Everyone at the party last week, thought he was really charming and funny."

"Yeah, speaking of which, you came home really late that night. I would have thought you would have stayed at his place."

Blaine groaned, though he was happy that David stopped talking. Neither the situation with Kurt nor Kurt as a person was nearly as bad as David made it sound. "Vin was there when I brought him home. It was a close one too because he could have easily caught us kissing or something."

"I still don't understand-" David started.

"I don't care if you understand!" Blaine finished. "The best way I can explain it is that Kurt is afraid to put his entire heart into a relationship with someone who makes him feel excited and equal because that person he trusted completely might turn right around and prove him wrong and break his heart. I know it sounds like he's using me, but he's not. I know it sounds like he's being selfish, but I don't see it that way. I know it's not ideal or even easy to understand, but it's just the way it is and I'm perfectly fine with the way things are with us right now. Yes, I want more from him, but I'm willing to wait and I don't care what anyone else thinks about it."

"Whoa. Whoa," David calmed. "Why are you getting upset about his? I'm sorry if I drilled you, I'm just trying to understand. It seems like you really are bothered by it because you wouldn't be getting so bugged by me asking."

"I'm pissed because I'm tired of people asking. I'm fine with telling you guys because I've known you forever, but I'm tired of people passing judgment on it. It's none of anyone's fucking business and if it works for us, it works for us- end of story. To hell with whatever anyone else thinks about what makes sense and what doesn't or if it's moral or not. It's not nearly as complicated as everyone makes it out to be. He has a boyfriend, they're allowed to date other people; I romance him; we share feelings; we tell each other everything. When he's ready, he'll tell me. In the meantime, I'm courting him. I'm okay with it. It's everyone else that isn't okay with it."

"How could you be okay with it though?"

"Because I have to be. It's either be okay with it or forget having anything with him. It's not that hard."

Nick, who's well acquainted, possibly more than anyone else, with the whole Kurt thing, saw Blaine's exhausted posture and decided to help. "If anything, it's easier than what you're doing with that chick you're trying to date now."

"Chastity?"

"Yeah. You are bending over backwards trying to impress her. Blaine and Kurt were friends first. They are completely comfortable with each other and they have no secrets. You are trying everything to get with a girl who would probably like you if you were just yourself." He forked mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"Yeah," Jeff added. "You could probably learn a thing or two from Blaine."

"This coming from the guy who can't keep a girl for more than two weeks," David shot back.

"That's because I don't operate like Blaine." Jeff smiled and took a long drink from his glass. Nick, Blaine, and Wes all laughed.

**Kurt**

Kurt spent his long weekend with Vin in a whirlwind of emotions. He was doted the on the morning after Vin arrived because Kurt had a massive hang-over and nothing seemed to want to stay in his stomach. The day after that, when he was feeling better, Vin got grumpy when Kurt accepted a text from Blaine, who had asked if Kurt was feeling okay. They spent the rest of that day bickering over little things. The day after that, Vin came around again and apologized for being jealous. He made an effort to be nicer and said that he didn't want to ruin the rest of his time with Kurt.

On the final day, Kurt was listening to, what seemed to be the millionth story about Brady and decided to say something. He wasn't bothered. He was just curious. "So, are you dating Brady?"

"No," Vin stated quickly, shoving food in his mouth.

"You sure? I mean, it's okay if you were because that's part of our open relationship, but it just seems that you spend an awful lot of time with him for two people who aren't dating."

Vin still had a mouthful of food and he shook his head. He swallowed. "No. Just friends. He's got a boyfriend in the Navy."

Kurt squinted his eyes in suspicion. "Yeah, you've told me."

"I did?"

"More than once. More than twice actually."

"Oh." He took another large bite.

"Well, Brady seems like a nice guy. I'm glad you made a new friend."

"I won't be seeing much of him for a couple weeks because his boyfriend is on leave. You can imagine how that goes."

"Ah!" Kurt smiled. "I'd imagine it was a little similar to how you used to be when we hadn't seen each other for a while."

Vin grinned. "Those were the days. You were never clothed."

Kurt didn't know what to think of that comment. "Are you saying that we have a sexless relationship?"

Vin looked stunned. "No! That's not what I meant at all."

"What did you mean?"

"Just that I really like the way you look naked. I didn't mean anything by it. I'm fine with our sex life."

"Really? Because we went from pretty much having it non-stop to having it rarely."

"Are you bothered by it?"

"No."

"You're not?"

"No. Are you?"

"No."

There was a pause. "Yes you are. I can see it. You think that I never want to have sex with you anymore."

"Well do you?"

"When we have sex, I want it, and when we're not, I don't. It's not you, it's just the way things are right now. It's not like I'm trying to keep your nuts in a jar."

"I didn't say you were."

"Do you think I'm holding out on you?"

Vin winced. "Not really. I mean, we do have sex every time I come here, it's just not constant like it used to be. I'm not disappointed. It's just different."

Kurt sighed. He didn't like this conversation at all. At what point had he not really wanted to have sex as much? He wasn't old and frigid. Then he remembered the events of the other night when Blaine brought him home. Had Vin not been there, they may have ended up having sex. He remembered how much he wanted Blaine. Now he felt guilty.

He was beginning to think that this relationship was becoming more and more destructive than he thought. "You said Brady's boyfriend was going home on leave?"

"Yeah."

"Why don't you invite them over here for weekend?"

"Really?" Vin was in awe that Kurt just said that. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I mean, I really should meet my boyfriend's new BFF, right?"

**Kurt and Blaine**

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt said as they walked out of the movie theater hand in hand.

Blaine turned his head and smiled. "Of course."

He looked down at the ground, scuffing his shoes on the salt stained sidewalk. "Why did you cover for me last week at my apartment? You could have told Vin the truth or not let go of my hand. He would have known about us. Why did you lie?"

Blaine cleared his throat and looked to his left. A small coffee shop was there and he steered Kurt in. "Let's get some coffee and I'll answer you when we sit down."

Kurt shivered from the cold air and agreed. They ordered, got their drinks, and sat down at a table in the corner. He waited, knowing Blaine was going to answer him. He didn't want to force an answer out, so he let Blaine formulate one.

When he was done fixing his coffee the way he liked it, Blaine took a sip and looked at Kurt, who was avidly awaiting for him to say something. He cleared his throat again. "I could have told him everything. I could have pretended to be more drunk than I was and draped myself all over you. I could have pretended that we were on a date and stood my ground because you're allowed to date other people now. I could have done a lot of things… But I don't want to get you that way. I want you to choose me because you chose me. I don't want you to choose me because he broke up with you. I care about you more than I can say and I want you more than anything… but for my own ego and sanity and whatever else, I don't want to be your second choice because I'm not a second choice. I'll be honest. I'm a damn good boyfriend. I'm faithful, caring, supportive, and honest. I know you've thought you had that in every relationship you've been in, only to find out that you were wrong, which I understand makes you scared to go for someone else because who's to say that I wouldn't do those things to? But, I promise you, whatever it is that we have right now, whatever we're working towards, I'm not going to pressure you into anything or sell you out because that's not how I am. I don't operate like that."

"I know. You're not scheming." They smiled wistfully at each other and each sipped their coffee in silence for a couple minutes.

"Now can I ask _you_ a question?"

Kurt swallowed the coffee in his mouth and put down his mug, nodding his head. "Anything."

Blaine was going to go against his own unspoken rule. He was going to ask about Vin and Kurt's personal life. "What happened after I left?"

"I threw up and Vin put me to bed." Kurt rubbed his forehead. "Not my best moment, but at least I made it to the trashcan and didn't blow chunks all over the floor or my clothes." He almost dry heaved at the hazy memory.

Blaine gulped. He never asked about Kurt and Vin as a couple. "No," he corrected. "Not just that night. I meant for the weekend. What happened the rest of the weekend. Did you," he averted his eyes trying to shadow the true amount of his curiosity and looming jealousy, "have fun? Or, um… do anything?" What he meant to ask was _Did you sleep with him?_ but was too chicken to ask. Normally, this was something he tried not to think about or put out of his mind because he assumed they must be sleeping together because they were a couple, but he preferred not to think about it.

Kurt wasn't catching on because he was still stuck on the thought of almost vomiting on and ruining a fantastic pair of shoes. "Yeah. It was fun, I guess. Well, mostly it was kind of boring and we didn't really do anything. He just came for a visit. I had files to look over and he had papers to grade so we just hung around the house and had dinner with Puck."

"Oh." Blaine was about to let it go, but knew it would bother him if he didn't ask. Hell, it was going to bother him if he did ask because deep down, he knew their relationship was changing yet again. Blaine, was growing jealous of Vin. He used to feel that he was okay with Vin being with Kurt because Vin was Kurt's boyfriend and Blaine came second when Vin was around. He was okay with it because he always felt that it was temporary and Kurt was well worth the wait. But now… something was different. They went back and forth with mindless chatter about the movie and the actors and work until they got to Blaine's apartment. Blaine still felt off and when they were lounging in the music room. "Do you think that if he weren't there that night… we might've…?" he trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

Kurt snapped out of his stream of thoughts and looked up, surprised by Blaine's insinuation. "Oh. _That_. Yeah. We should talk about that, shouldn't we?" Kurt stumbled through his words. "I, um, I don't know. Maybe. I mean, I wasn't far away from heaving the contents of my stomach out, so, I don't know. I suppose we very well could have gotten interrupted by my projectile vomiting."

Blaine paid close attention to Kurt's mannerisms and the way he spoke about what might have been. Kurt acted nervous and was making excuses instead of actually answering the question. "Okay. Well, tell me one thing then. If we did, would you have regretted it?" He looked down and quickly stopped Kurt from saying anything. "Wait. Stop. Don't answer that. I shouldn't have asked. Sleeping with me means that you would have cheated on Vin and you would have felt guilty and it obviously would have been wrong."

Something about Blaine's comment puzzled Kurt. It should have been Kurt to say those things. "Would _you_ have regretted it?"

Blaine's face looked almost somber. "I would regret doing anything that would put you in a position to feel that you should hate yourself." That was the truth. He always hated the self deprecated look that Kurt wore when he was cheating on Vin during the week Blaine lived with him. "I wasn't lying when I said that I've wanted you for so long, but I want you the right way. Without regrets."

Kurt looked down, feeling both bashful and a little shame.

"Hey," Blaine said, reaching forward touching Kurt's arm. "What's wrong?"

"I keep thinking that you can't be real. No one has ever talked to me like that before. I mean, people have said things like that before, but no one has ever said them the way you do."

Blaine gave Kurt a half smile. "So, what's the problem?"

"So, the sweeter you are and the more wonderful you seem to be, the more terrified I get that you may not be being real with me. I've know guys who have gone through great lengths and time for a piece of ass and I've known other guys who made me believe that what we had was something special because I'd never experienced what they were offering me, but then," he snapped his fingers, "just like that, they up and left for something they felt was better. I'm afraid that if I let myself fall for you, you'll end up just like the others: all excitement until it ends without warning."

Blaine scrunched his forehead and shook his head incredulously. He was mad at every person who had ever hurt Kurt in his life. "I hate what they did to you. They ruined you, Kurt."

The chair was smooth against Kurt's clothing as he sat up and leaned back against the solid wood. He was serious now. "The guy I was with before Vin said that too."

Blaine reached forward and took Kurt's hand. "How can I make you believe that you're the only one that I could ever want?"

"Vin said that to me the other night in the bathtub."

_The bathtub,_ Blaine thought. "But I'm not any of those men, Kurt. What have I ever done to make you think that I'd do anything those guys have done."

"Nothing. It isn't you."

"It isn't me? Please don't use the 'it's not you; it's me' line. Whatever it is- Whether it's you, me, them, or some random person on the street, it's me who has to suffer because of it."

"It's not just you who has to suffer. Don't you think that I am killing myself over this? Over how many people I can hurt? Over how fucked over I'd feel for having been another sucker for falling for the same thing a third time, if you turn out to be lying, right now."

"But I'm not lying!"

"How could I know that?"

"Because you know me!"

"And I thought I knew them! I thought I knew everything about all of them. They made me feel like you're trying to make me feel: special and worth every precious everything in the world, but what I didn't know was that precious things become less precious when a new model comes along."

"Well, I don't believe that. I like antiques." He hoped Kurt would get the meaning hidden underneath. "I think that things gain value overtime, especially when they were important items in the beginning."

"Is that why you went nuts over my claw foot tub in my bathroom?"

Blaine laughed then remembered that Kurt just mentioned he was in that tub with Vin not too long ago. He decided to change the subject again. "When is the next time we should be expecting him?"

Kurt thought, trying to do math in his head. "Uh, two weeks."

"That soon?"

"Yeah. He has this new friend that has a boyfriend on leave from the Navy. Brady. Vin practically talked about him non-stop most the weekend. Anyway, I invited them to come visit."

"Really?" The jealousy Blaine felt earlier was only enhanced slightly at the thought of Kurt and Vin doing couple things with other couples, like vacations.

"Yeah. I have cousins in the military and I know how important time with their significant others is and I just thought I'd do something nice for one of our countrymen."

"You would look so hot in a naval uniform," Blaine said, changing the subject a little.

"Me? Please," Kurt waved off, not agreeing with Blaine. He ran his fingers gently over the piano keys, looking deep in thought.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Blaine asked.

Kurt bit his lip and put his hand back in his lap. "I think Brady means more to Vin than Vin is letting on."

Blaine's eyebrows went up in surprise, though he was more than happy to hear this because it might have meant that Vin was interested in being with someone other than Kurt. "Oh? And why do you think that?"

"Vin wouldn't stop talking about him. I've seen a picture of him and he is _**cute**_." He used his hands to emphasize his opinion of Brady's look. "He has permission to date other people, but he spends all his time with Brady it seems."

"If he was dating Brady, why wouldn't he admit it? You both are allowed to date other people."

"I know and that's what worries me."

"Worries you? Kurt, you're doing the exact same thing that you're _worried_ he's doing. You spend all your time with me when he's not around. What's the big deal?"

"I don't know. I hadn't really thought much about it. My first reaction is to be worried."

Blaine scrunched his eyes in confusion. In his mind, if Kurt was worried that Vin was doing the same thing he was, then Blaine thought that Kurt was looking for reasons to stay with him and not for reasons why he should be with Blaine. His jealousy overcame him again. "I wish I knew what was in your head."

"What do you mean? I tell you pretty much everything."

"I just wish I knew where your head was at. I'm sort of getting mixed signals right now. The other night was great and earlier tonight was great, but then you come out with things like you're worried that Vin is cheating on you and you still don't know if I'm going to leave you like the others did."

"No, that's not- Fuck. This isn't going how I meant it to go and none of that came out right."

"Well, that's how it did come out and from where I'm sitting, everything we just talked about is coming across like I'm just the guy in waiting. I told you I could be patient while you worked things out in your head, but it seems like that's not what you're doing at all. I mean, am I just the guy waiting around until you figure out how to make it work with Vin?"

"No! Shit." Kurt's pitch was getting higher the more he spoke.

"I'm so tired of having to explain us to other people. It used to be okay because I at least thought we were working towards something, but now it just seems that _I'm_ working towards something and _you're _at a stand-still. I get that you're confused and insecure, but I'm the one paying for it and I know you just want to be honest with me because we're friends too, but you can't say things like that and expect me to be okay with hearing it. I have real feelings for you and when you say things like that, it hurts."

"I did it again. I told you I would."

"You would what?"

"Break your heart." That one fragmented sentence caused the ultimate silence between them. They stared into each other's eyes in deep emotional turmoil because they knew it to be right. Kurt did say that to Blaine and Kurt knew it would be true when he said it.

Blaine finally broke the silence with a sentence that he never wanted to say to Kurt ever, but it had been playing on his mind since Vin entered the picture. "This isn't going to work, is it?"

Kurt couldn't bring himself to say the words so he just shook his head, unable to look at Blaine anymore. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I can't make you ready to want something when you're not and I can't stick around and wait because it isn't making things any easier for you to decide or for me to be ready in case you don't choose me."

"I shouldn't be with anybody. I'm kryptonite."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't. If you were kryptonite, then I would be able to say this isn't going to work and feel relieved that this is over, but I'm not relieved. I already want to take back what I just said because I think about not being near you and I know it's not what I want."

Kurt gulped, knowing that he felt the same way. His comfort zone was to be miserable. It had been so long since he was happy in a monogamous relationship that he didn't know how to just relax and let himself be. "If I fight you on this-" He stopped himself and restarted a sentence. "I already told you that I'll break your heart over and over. Things will just get worse."

"I know. I've been pretending this whole time that I was okay with everything, but I know that man isn't me. I can't pretend anymore that I don't try to be better than Vin because all I'm doing is waiting for your sham of a relationship with him to crumble."

"That's an awful thing to wait for."

"Well that's what I hope for, what I wish for everyday!" Blaine's voice was raising. "I don't want him in the picture. I don't want him to move in with you and Puck. Fuck, Kurt, I don't want to share you!" He was breathing heavily now.

Kurt froze. He looked stunned. He never actually thought about what he was going to do when the time came to choose. He never put the thought off, but he just never knew. Kurt crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I don't know what else to say, except I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Blaine shook his head. "Kurt, all the time we spent together, all the intimate moments, all the smiles, and the words, and the glances, you never thought about what I was doing with you? I thought I made it clear." He moved closer and invaded Kurt's personal space by getting really close to him. He cupped both of Kurt's cheeks and held Kurt's face gently, making Kurt look him in the eyes. "I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend. I don't want to be your secret anymore."

Kurt inhaled and swallowed hard. His breath caught. Blaine started to leaned in to kiss him, but Kurt shrugged away and walked around Blaine. "I can't do this."

"Why?!" Blaine shouted, turning towards him again. "Is it not worth your time? Am _I _not worth your time and explanation? I'm only the guy you're seeing behind you're real boyfriend's back." He paused. Blaine looked away and took a breath to calm himself. When he finally looked back at Kurt, he saw the look he hated the most: the guilty, self-deprecating look that told Blaine Kurt was hurting and struggling with everything. He spoke again, slower and quieter. "What can't you do? Tell me how you feel? Make a decision? It's a simple one to make. You just go with who you want."

"No. It's not that simple."

"Yes it is. If you want him then leave me. It'll hurt, but at least I'll know and I won't feel strung along. And if you want me, then tell him that you don't feel the same way about him anymore. He'll be hurt too, but he'll move on eventually, the same way I would."

"I don't want to hurt either of you. He didn't ask for this. We did. We went into this knowing it was wrong. He has no clue what I've been doing behind his back. He didn't deserve this."

"You're right. He didn't," Blaine began to move closer to Kurt, "but that doesn't change that it happened. You can feel guilty for an eternity, but it still won't change anything."

"What do you want from me here, Blaine? Because I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Are we breaking up or…?"

He approached Kurt fully now. "What do I want?" Blaine repeated softly. He ran his fingers through Kurt's hair and brought Kurt's forehead to his own. "I want _you. _I want you to pick me, to choose me. I want to be yours and for you to be mine."

"I… Blaine…"

"Are you going to make me say it?" Blaine smiled wistfully.

"You don't-"

"I love you. You're everything I've ever needed and everything I could ever want. You put me through hell sometimes and you drive me crazy, but I can't stop wanting you. I'm drawn to you in a way I never felt for anyone. You're like a craving that never goes away."

"Blaine…"

Blaine leaned forward and gently touched his lips to Kurt's. The act was soft and simple, but there was so much feeling and energy passing between them. When Blaine spoke next, it was almost a whisper. "Just… put me out of my misery…. Pick me. Be with me. Take a chance on me." He brought his lips back to Kurt's.

No sooner did their lips part open, Kurt's phone rang in his pocket. They broke apart and Blaine exhaled audibly and looked away. He knew who was calling.

Kurt dug his hand in his pocket and answered his phone without saying anything to Blaine. He cleared his throat. "Hi," he greeted, pretending to sound cheerful. "It's good. I'm window shopping in Manhattan." Blaine twisted his face in both jealousy and pain. He turned away and walked to look out the window. "Yeah, me too. Two weeks. I can't believe it. Hey, can I call you right back? 'Kay I'll talk to you in a minute. Bye." Kurt ended the call and went over to Blaine. He put his hand on Blaine's shoulder, but Blaine didn't look at him. "I have to go," he said to Blaine.

"Yeah. I know."

Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek softly and hugged him, embracing him in such a way to say he was sorry. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's middle, but there was no tension in his arms. He was only putting his arms around Kurt as a response. He closed his eyes and a tear ran down his cheek, hot and stinging his eye upon exit. He was tired of being second best. He didn't want to be second to Vin anymore. He wanted to be first in Kurt's heart. He wanted Kurt.

Kurt sniffled. "I'd ask what you're thinking, but I'm thinking that it isn't what I want to hear…"

"You're probably right."

Kurt bit his lip. "I'll see you Friday night at your concert?" It was a loaded question.

Blaine knew what Kurt meant. If Blaine said that he wanted Kurt there, that meant that they were still together. If he said that Kurt didn't have to go then they were broken up. It was this moment that the little sentence that had played on his mind for months was right. _This isn't going to work. Not this way._ He took one last breath, staring in Kurt's beautiful eyes, and tried to say the words telepathically because he didn't want to say them out loud. "Don't bother," was all he could manage. There was no more emotion in Blaine's voice. "See you around, Kurt."

Kurt's eyes welled up, knowing that as much as this hurt, it was for the better. "Bye." Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek softly and left without another word.

Blaine continued to stand in front of the window, unmoving. He saw Kurt walking down the street, his phone already back up to his ear, and a couple tears rolled down his cheek. _I'd ask what you're thinking, but I'm thinking that it isn't what I want to hear… I was thinking how I'm tired of watching you walk away from me._ _I'd ask what you're thinking, but I'm thinking that it isn't what I want to hear… _The words kept spinning round and round in his mind. When he finally left the window, Blaine went back to his piano and started playing, feeling something in his fingers and needing to get it out.

* * *

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**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Kurt knew as he walked away from Blaine's house that it would look like he was talking on the phone, but he planned it that way. He scrunched his shoulders up, fighting the bitter cold of the wind and sniffling as the cold made it harder to pretend he wasn't crying. He had his phone up to his ear, but he wasn't talking to anyone. _Maybe if it looks like I don't care then it'll make it easier for him to move on. I don't want him in pain anymore._ So, he held up the phone for Blaine's benefit and walked as quickly as he could for his own.

On Friday, Blaine's band had a concert that Kurt was supposed to go to, but Blaine told him not to bother. It was only a few days since their breakup, but Kurt couldn't sit still. He had to be doing something at all times. He missed Blaine. So, when Friday evening rolled around, Kurt decided to go to watch anyway. He dressed simply, nothing flashy that would make him stand out, and wore a hooded sweatshirt that he pulled up over a hat, in hopes that it would hide his face.

At the concert, he sat at the bar and angled himself so that he could both watch and be hidden. This first song they played was a fast paced ballad that Blaine sang. He knew it was a song Blaine wrote and it was so familiar that he knew it was written about he and Blaine's relationship.

The drums and keyboards started playing and Blaine grabbed his microphone, not playing his guitar, and pressing himself closer to it.

**I better rest my eyes cause I'm growing weary of**

**This point you've been trying to make, **

**so instead of trying to imply**

**Why don't you just verbalize **

**All the things that you're trying to say.**

Jeff and Matty came in on the guitars with a heavy electric sound. If it weren't for the tone of the song and Blaine singing, he would probably be jamming out to it.

**Thought this would turn out so well**

**But I'm beginning to see that instead it's trouble**

**Into a pattern we fell, of prolonging the inevitable**

Blaine backed off the microphone a bit and started strumming his guitar very quickly. He was keeping beat by throwing himself into the song and bobbing and swaying his body.

**Why don't you come right out and say it**

**Even if the words are probably gonna hurt**

**I'd rather have the truth than something insincere**

**Why don't you come right out and say it**

**What it is you're thinking, **

**though I'm thinking it's not what I want to hear.**

He stopped playing and grabbed the microphone again.

**I better check my pride because I was starting to think**

**That I was onto something good**

**But things started to slide **

**And I sit here in retrospect **

**understanding that I misunderstood**

**Thought I could make up your mind**

**You had a decision locked up so tight **

**it couldn't be touched**

**You thought you were being so kind**

**By keeping your mouth sealed shut **

**rather than just opening up.**

**Why don't you come right out and say it**

**Even if the words are probably gonna hurt**

**I'd rather have the truth than something insincere**

**Why don't you come right out and say it**

**What it is you're thinking, **

**though I'm thinking it's not what I want to hear.**

Now he had a major guitar solo and jammed out hard playing a fast string of notes, standing strong in place and making a face that could only read as Blaine concentrating on something he knew he was awesome at. A kind of cocky concentration. It was a persona that Blaine often took onstage because it was a presence that made sense for him and resonated with the crowds they had.

When he finished his solo, Blaine swung his guitar behind his back and grabbed the microphone off its stand. He started making his way around the stage and interacting with the audience.

**And I've tried to catch what goes on in your head**

**Cause in your mind I just might find**

**All those things you left unsaid**

**And I've tried to make you not regret anything**

**But later on, after I'm gone,**

**You'll wish that you had listened to me**

**Had listened to me**

Most of the instruments backed off now as Blaine stood back at the microphone stand. It sounded as if the it were just Blaine's voice. Blaine's amazing voice, sounding hurt and scrappy.

**Why don't you come right out and say it**

**Even if the words are gonna hurt**

**We're better off this way**

**Why don't you come right out and say, come right out and say**

**What I know you're thinking anyway.**

The music came back with Blaine jamming out on his guitar again and leaning into the microphone.

**Why don't you come right out and say it**

**Even if the words are probably gonna hurt**

**I'd rather have the truth than something insincere**

**Why don't you come right out and say it**

**What it is you're thinking,**

**Just what is it you're thinking?**

**Why don't you?**

**What is it you're thinking**

**though I'm thinking it's not what I want to hear.**

Kurt ordered a diet coke and watched as Blaine accepted the applause, but didn't look completely happy for it. Was it the song, or something else? Kurt wasn't sure, but either way, he was convinced that he had something or everything to do with it. He was beginning to think that going to the concert that night was a bad idea.

A few songs went by that were upbeat and fun, then another song came on and it was a slow ballad. It was another that Kurt knew it was about him.

Blaine took his guitar off and put it on a stand behind him. Jeff and Matty switched places. Jeff was there as an echo to Blaine's lyrics.

**Let it all out, get it all out**

**Get out, remove it,**

**Don't be alarmed when the world begins to bleed**

'**cause we're so scared to find out**

**What this world's all about**

**So scared we're gonna lose it**

**And knowing all along**

**That's exactly what we need**

**And today I'll trust you with the confidence**

**Of a man who's never known defeat**

**But tomorrow upon hearing what I did**

**I will stare at you in disbelief**

**Oh inconsistent me**

**Crying out for consistency**

**And you said "I know that this will hurt,**

**But if I don't break your heart**

**Things will just get worse."**

**If the burden seems too much to bear**

**Remember:**

**The end will justify the pain it took to get us there.**

**And I'll let it be known**

**The times I have shown**

**Signs of all my weakness**

**But somewhere in me there is strength**

**And you promise me**

**That you believe**

**In time I will defeat this**

**Somewhere in me there is strength**

**And today I'll trust you with the confidence**

**Of a man who's never known defeat**

**And I'll try my best to just forget that **

**That man isn't me**

**And you said "I know that this will hurt,**

**But if I don't break your heart**

**Things will just get worse."**

**If the burden seems too much to bear**

**Remember:**

**The end will justify the pain it took to get us there.**

**You said "I know that this will hurt,**

**But if I don't break your heart**

**Things will just get worse."**

**When the burden seems too much to bear**

**Remember:**

**The end will justify the pain it took to get us there.**

Kurt's heart broke. In the song, Kurt was able to see Blaine's attempt at optimism, but his underlying hurt was there as well. He was beginning to wish he never came.

He wanted so much for Blaine and knew that if Blaine were ever to be okay again, Kurt had to leave him alone. More than anything, he wanted Blaine in his life, but Kurt felt that that, at this point, he'd been selfish enough and it's time that maybe he thought of Blaine.

Kurt chanced one last look at Blaine, taking in how utterly handsome he was, finished his diet coke, and left.

Two weeks passed and Kurt kept his promise to himself to stay away from Blaine. He worked late most nights and spent more time by himself, which he hadn't done in a long time. The weekend came when Vin's friends, Brady and Sean, came to visit.

Brady and Sean turned out to be really fun guests. Brady was youthful and full of energy. He also struck Kurt as a bit of a spoiled brat, but not in a bad way. He was polite and sweet and just happened to know how to get what he wanted without making everyone else annoyed or mad. They'd agreed to go bar hopping on their last night in New York and Kurt thought it was odd that Brady knew that Kurt and Vin met at Jericho. Being a romantic, Brady begged to go to Jericho. He'd heard wonderful things about it. Vin didn't want to go there in case Blaine was there and Kurt didn't want to go there because he knew Blaine would be working. He almost always worked Saturday nights.

Kurt had a feeling this would be a disaster of an idea, but he wanted to be a good host, so he smiled and said "Sure! This is the best bar anyway. Well, it's the most fun."

Brady smiled and clapped happily. "Yay!" Vin and Kurt were surprised that Brady hadn't needed help walking yet because he had been drinking harder than everyone else. Sean remained at a calm pace, saying that he knows his boyfriend and he can't afford to lose him in New York City. Brady had been bought several drinks by several men at each bar they went to, flirted with a bartender and received a free round of shots for all four of them, and nearly got into a slap fight with a very drunk twink for not getting the hint that Sean was taken. Obviously this lithe man, had no idea Sean was with the likes of a prince bitch. Sean had to physically carry Brady out of the bar before a commotion was started.

To his own astonishment, Kurt was having more fun than he ever thought he would. It had been too long since he had, what he called, a queen's night out. That's where him and his gay friends would go bar hopping. Actually, it had been over a year and he was reminded of how much fun he missed out on. He laughed at Brady and his endless supply of energy and watched as countless men approached him. He often looked to Sean to gage how he reacted to seeing Brady with other men, but Sean would just look on with a smile and either join in on the dance floor or continue to watch while drinking.

Their relationship was so strange to Kurt. It seemed so perfect. They clearly loved each other, but they slept with other people when Sean was away. They had no secrets. They were completely comfortable and trusting. Kurt had to admit that he saw them and wanted what they had. Not the open sex partner part, or the vast age difference part, but their love and trust together.

At Jericho, Sean offered to buy the first found and Kurt made a B-line to the mezzanine. Vin followed Kurt while Brady went with Sean.

"You're not going to say hi to Blaine?" Vin asked.

"No. He's working." Kurt hadn't told Vin about Blaine.

Vin lead Kurt over to an open table with four chairs on the edge of the balcony. It really was a prime choice and they were surprised that it was vacant to begin with. They sat across from each other and Vin just sort of looked at Kurt sentimentally.

"What?" Kurt asked curiously.

"I was just thinking how great you are."

Kurt showed a smile. He was having a good time and he and Vin hadn't had one argument the whole weekend. In fact, Vin appeared to be more attentive and loving than normal. Kurt didn't know if it was because Vin was trying to show off his home away from home, boyfriend, or what, but either way, it was nice. "Oh yeah?" He leaned forward and put his chin in his hands.

"Yeah. You didn't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Invite Brady and Sean over, take them out; any of that stuff." Kurt shrugged his shoulders to signify that it was no big deal. "I'm just really lucky to have you." He looked serious then. Like he said it because he really wanted Kurt to know it.

Kurt didn't say anything because Brady and Sean showed up with four shots and four purple drinks.

"Ever have a Grateful Dead, Kurt?" Sean asked.

"Is that what those are?" Kurt replied.

"I noticed you're not a beer drinker, I thought these would be good. Can't have too many of these, sweatheart. You'll get knocked right on your ass."

Kurt laughed and picked up a shot glass. "I'll keep that in mind."

Everyone else picked up a shot glass. Brady took over the conversation and made a toast. "To our wonderful hosts and especially to Kurt for letting us stay with him and giving us a fantastic weekend." They all clinked glasses and threw back the shots. It went down extremely warm. "Oh! And that bartender… hot!"

"Which one?" Vin asked.

"The one on the right end."

Kurt laughed again. "You should have tipped him a hundred dollars. He takes his clothes off."

Then, like a child asking for a pet, Brady turned to Sean. "Can we tip him? Please can we tip him?"

"Sure thing, Babe. Next round though." Brady bounced in happiness. He really was like a spoiled child, but a fun one.

"Good luck getting anything out of him, though," Vin added. "Didn't you say he was straight, Kurt?"

"Jackson? Yeah. Well, they all are actually. Except, Blaine."

"Really?" Brady pouted but started looking over to the bar. "Which one is he?"

"Um. On the other end."

"Black hair?"

"Yep."

"Oo! He looks like _your_ type, Babe." Brady smiled over at his boyfriend and nudged Sean's leg with his foot. Kurt pretended not to hear the comment.

"Blaine is friends with Kurt," Vin added.

"Oh yeah?" Brady and Sean looked back at Blaine, who was busying himself with orders. "Wouldn't mind being friendly with him." Again, Kurt ignored the comment. "Sean, when your tour is done, can we move here? Everything is so exciting! I feel like I need to be here."

Sean pretended to think about it. "I think that could be a possibility."

This made Brady extremely happy and he downed his drink entirely too fast. "I wanna dance! Kurt, can I steal your man candy and spin him around?"

"By all means," Kurt laughed.

"Woo!" Brady howled as Vin chugged his drink. He grabbed Vin's hand and pulled him away.

Sean rolled his eyes and smiled at his boyfriend. He put his arm around the back of Kurt's chair and sipped his drink, watching where the two went. "What do you say, Kurt? Dance with me?"

Kurt laughed. "My pleasure." He did a half-assed salute and they finished off their drinks before going to the dance floor. Sean was a good dancer. He was sexy, yet he kept his hands in places so that it let Kurt know that he wasn't doing anything more than dancing. Kurt did that same. They danced for a few songs before going back up to the mezzanine. They had lost their table to four other men, so they leaned against the balcony and watched Vin and Brady.

"So, you'd really move to New York?" Kurt asked when he started to let his mind wander. He noticed that whatever Brady wanted, Sean said yes to almost instantly.

"Sure. Why not? It's not like I have a job where I need to stay in one spot."

"But just like that?"

Sean laughed and looked over at Brady, who was gyrating heavily against Vin. "I know I spoil him, but I like it. I love him. I'd do anything for him."

The way Sean looked down onto the sea of people and only saw Brady made Kurt only want that feeling for himself more. He looked down at Brady and Vin and then over to the bar at Blaine. He really knew how much of a mess he'd made things. Sean's voice roused him from his thoughts. "He's going to leave me."

"What?" Kurt asked. He partly didn't hear Sean and the other part just left him stunned.

"Brady. He's going to leave me."

"No. You two are so perfect. He looks so happy with you."

"He's happy, but I think he found someone else."

"What makes you say that?" Kurt saw the look on his face that told him Sean believed what he was saying to be true.

"It's little things, but mostly it's the way he looks at Vin."

Kurt's eyebrows went up in surprise. He looked down at Vin and Brady and finally saw what he now thought that he was previously too blind to see. It wasn't just a hunger in Brady's eyes as he looked at Vin. It was excitement and affection too. Deep, deep affection.

"Oh, geeze. Kurt, I'm sorry. You didn't know, did you?"

"Know what?" Kurt asked, still looking at Vin and Brady.

Sean sighed and rubbed the back of his own neck. "I really shouldn't be the one telling you this. You should talk to Vin."

"Just tell me," Kurt said flatly.

"Kurt… They've been sleeping together."

His head whipped to look at Sean. "They fucked?"

"Like rabbits, or so Brady told me."

"Brady told you this?" Kurt was in shock. He just kept repeating what Sean was telling him in the form of a question.

Sean went on to tell Kurt about everything Brady told him about being with Vin and how it started and how Vin told him that he was in an open relationship with Kurt, but he wasn't supposed to have sex with anyone. Sean has warned Brady not to get in the middle of a relationship, but Brady insisted that it was Vin's choice and none of Brady's business what Vin hid from Kurt.

"I just don't get it. How can you be okay with all this?" Kurt found that he was less concerned with what he just heard and more concerned with the fact that he was hearing this from Brady's boyfriend, who seemed like it was no big deal on his end.

"I'm really sorry, Kurt. Maybe we shouldn't have come. You were so nice to us when you had no idea what Brady was doing."

"I think I just need time to think. I appreciate your honesty." He looked back to Vin and Brady and watched for another handful of minutes. A tall, muscular man, much like Sean's build came up from Brady's behind and created a Brady sandwich. It didn't take long for Brady's attention to be diverted and he turned around, giving the man a lot of scrutiny. As he thought some more he had a revelation that hit him like a ton of bricks. He didn't feel jealous at the knowledge of Vin with Brady, like he thought he was supposed to. In fact, he barely felt anything at all.

He looked over to Blaine at the bar and felt regret. It was that moment that Kurt knew he should have chosen Blaine a long time ago. Maybe he knew that all along, but was too scared to come to terms with it. He always told his students that it took a large amount of courage to love another person freely and to give all of yourself to them because to take that chance, you had a lot to lose if you were wrong. Now he saw just how much he was losing by letting Blaine go. How much he was missing out on by not giving his heart away to Blaine. He never knew the difference before. He would lose a lot by giving Blaine up, but he would miss out on so much more if he never gave it a chance. _I never should have ran back to the library that day,_ he thought. _I should have stayed. I should have done a lot of things that I didn't._

"Well, that's my cue," Sean said. Kurt was roused from his thoughts and saw Brady and the tall stranger looking up at Sean. The stranger smiled in approval and Brady looked excited. Kurt knew that look. That was the look of three men about to happily go to the back room and fuck. Sean put his hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I'm really sorry."

"No. I'm glad you told me." He sighed and tried an appreciative smile. He watched as Vin watched them go away and then look up to Kurt with a smile. He had no idea what just happened in the mezzanine.

Before Kurt had a chance to run into Vin, he went over to the bar and sat down in Jackson's section. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and saw that his facial appearance was nothing less than sulking. He put his eye line back down and before anyone had a chance to ask if he wanted a drink, a Midori sour appeared in front of him. "You here alone?"

Kurt looked up, curious why Blaine was in front of him and not Jackson. "No."

"Are you not having fun?"

"I was, but now I'm not."

"Because you're looking at me right now?" Blaine guessed.

"No! That's not it!"

Blaine sighed in relief and Jackson returned. He was only wearing a pair of boxers at this point. People were barking orders out at Blaine, but he was ignoring them as they stared at each other for a few moments. Jackson dumped a bucket of ice into the ice bin and the crashing sound broke their silence. "Jackson, I'm going to take a break."

Blaine ran around the bar and pushed through people to get to Kurt. He put his hand on Kurt's back. "Come with me."

Kurt obeyed instantly and followed Blaine outside. "I can't believe you're even talking to me," Kurt confessed.

"Just because I said that we weren't going to work out, doesn't mean that I don't want it to. I still meant it when I said that I love you. I'm just not what you need right now."

Kurt wanted to cry listening to Blaine telling him that he loved him; since Kurt felt that he deserved much less than love from Blaine. "I miss you," he said simply.

Blaine smiled. "I miss you too." He put his hands in his pockets and looked down at his shoes. "It's been two weeks and it feels like it's been months. I hate being away from you."

"Me too. Blaine, I wish this were easier. I'm so sorry that I put you through this. I don't know when I became so selfish or indecisive. You'd think I'd be better, but I'm just so messed up-"

Blaine stepped closer to Kurt and wrapped his arms around him, but still keeping his head faced forward to look him in the eyes. "You're not messed up. You're just scared and confused. It'll pass and when it does, you'll be ready for someone to love you the way you deserve."

Kurt was on the verge of tears. He wished he had the time and the words right then to tell him everything, but he knew he didn't have nearly the amount of time he would need because Blaine was working.

"What's the matter?" Blaine asked.

"I miss you so much." His eyes welled up. He wasn't sad about Vin. On the contrary, this had nothing to do with Vin. It was all about Kurt feeling guilty for what he did to Blaine and how Blaine is being so nice to him.

Blaine kissed Kurt's cheek and hugged him tighter. "Don't cry. It's going to be okay." He kissed Kurt's cheek again and found that Kurt kissed him back. When he pulled his head back to face Kurt again, Kurt looked at Blaine pleadingly. So, Blaine did the only thing he could think to do. He leaned forward and kissed Kurt on the lips. It was soft at first, gentle touches of lips and then parting them, tasting each other softly. Then their tongues past one another's lips and hands gasped tighter to each other. It was a needy, yet blissful kiss. But it wouldn't last.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Vin yelled.

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><p><strong>Songs:<strong>

**Come Right Out and Say It**

**Let It All Out.**

**Artist: Both songs are by Relient K**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**

**Please Review!**


	36. Chapter 36

**After this chapter, there will only be one more... There are several things happening in this chapter so be warned that I'm settling a lot in the next two chapters. **

**That being said, here's the new chapter :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 36<strong>

Kurt and Blaine pulled apart instantly, knowing the owner of the voice like they knew their own. Blaine, looked to Kurt, expecting to see his face show alarm. Instead, Kurt's face showed more than a little bit of shock, but mostly he just looked like being caught was bitter-sweet. It wasn't a blank expression, but to say that Kurt's face was completely readable would be a vast lie.

"Jesus Christ, Kurt! Really?!" Vin yelled. He was obviously not impressed or amused by catching his boyfriend kissing his perceived enemy. No. He was angry. Very, _very_ angry. The two didn't move and Vin rushed up to them, grabbing Kurt's wrist. "We're leaving. Come on."

Very swiftly, Blaine grasped Kurt's other hand and held it tightly, but non dominatingly. "Kurt, stay with me." Nothing about what he was doing was dominating. Instead, he was being loving and careful. He was giving Kurt an option, a choice. "Please?"

"Vin, let go," Kurt commanded.

Vin only held tighter and pulled him in his direction. "No. We're going home."

"Get you're hands off of him!" Blaine yelled.

"Stay out of it!" He yelled at Blaine.

"You're hurting him!" Blaine grabbed at Kurt's arm, twisted it so that it faced upwards and pulled it toward him, releasing it from Vin's grasp. Blaine's actions didn't hurt Kurt at all. It was a simple release tactic to get away from someone who Blaine learned in a self-defense class when he was younger.

Kurt immediately grabbed his own wrist and started rubbing it as he took a few steps back from Vin. "What is wrong with you?!" he said.

Vin looked shocked that he was being asked that from Kurt. He was in a rage. "What's wrong with me?!" he repeated. "My boyfriend is kissing this piece of trash!"

They were starting to cause a scene. "He's not trash!"

"We're going home. Let's go." He commanded.

"Don't talk to him like that," Blaine demanded. "He's not an animal."

"This doesn't concern you." Vin's eyes were practically popping out of his skull when he looked back at Blaine. He felt Blaine didn't have a place in this conversation.

"Like hell it does. Seeing as how my tongue was just in his mouth and he wasn't stopping me, I'd guess that it completely concerns me."

Kurt read the situation instantly, knowing both men very well, and wanting neither or them to get into a fight. He stood between them as Vin took a step toward Blaine. If he hadn't, Kurt was positive that Vin would have taken a swing at Blaine and Kurt most certainly did not want that to happen. "Blaine," he started, putting both hands on Blaine's shoulders and pushing him back a few steps. "I'll take care of this. Go back inside. Please," he pleaded. "I'll fix it, I promise."

"I don't want you to go home with him," Blaine stated caringly.

"I know. I'm safe, I promise. You get into a fight with him and you might lose your job. Let me talk to him and I'll talk to you later. I'll settle this. It'll be okay."

There was silence between them and they stared at each other as if being able to read the other's mind. Blaine calmed and nodded his head in defeat. "Okay."

Kurt hugged him and pressed his lips close to Blaine's ear. "I'll fix this." He let Blaine go and looked him in the eyes one more time.

Without another word, Kurt turned to Vin, walked over to him and put his hands on Vin to turn him around. He didn't trust him to not go back after Blaine when Kurt wasn't paying enough attention. "Come on."

Vin followed Kurt's physical and verbal instruction, walking the opposite direction away from the club. Kurt chanced one last look at Blaine from over his shoulder and found that Blaine was still watching, as were most of the other people on the street who saw the discourse, but all Kurt saw was Blaine.

Vin and Kurt drove back to the apartment in silence. Vin's knuckles were white on the steering wheel and Kurt was breathing very hard through his nose and clenching his chest muscles. They wouldn't speak. They wouldn't even look at each other. Vin drove and Kurt looked down at his toes.

The moment the door shut behind them in the apartment, Kurt held his breath. He slipped his scarf and jacket off and draped them over the kitchen chair. He sat down and finally chanced to look at Vin with heavy eyes.

Vin's hands were on his hips, and his face, and in his hair. He was fidgeting. "Okay," he finally said. "How long? How long has this thing with you and _him_ been going on?"

Kurt took a shaky breath and his eyes got puffy. He knew tears would come soon. "Does it matter?"

"Yes! Yes, Kurt, it matters!" Vin exclaimed, suddenly raising his voice. "I want to know. How long have you been _involved_ with him?"

"Involved?" Kurt repeated, surprised to hear that word come out instead of something else. The tears came and his saliva made bubbles in his mouth. He was holding back a rough cry. The kind that makes a person's face contort and sob loudly. It wouldn't be pretty. He rolled his eyes and thought about how to answer. Everything about the past year came to a head. His affair, Vin's affair, his feelings for Blaine, Blaine's continued patience with Kurt, everything. "Since the second we met. It took me a long time to admit it to myself, but we've been _involved_ since the moment we met. We've always been missing chances, but that's been mostly my fault."

"So you've slept with him this entire time? Through our whole relationship?"

"No!" Kurt exclaimed. "We never fucked." He paused and sniffled. "Which is more than I can say about you. How long have you been _involved_ with Brady?" Kurt used the word 'involved' as a snide way to get at Vin.

His head dropped back. "You knew about that?" Vin asked rhetorically. It sounded more like a statement, but that didn't stop Kurt from nodding his head in the affirmative. There was silence and Vin covered his face. He sat down on the floor. How had they gotten this way? "I am so sorry, Kurt," he cried. "I don't even know how it happened."

Suddenly, the tears almost completely dried in Kurt's eyes and he was disgusted with how Vin felt to answer. _Does he think I'm stupid or frail? _"You don't know how it happened?" Kurt asked rhetorically. "I know how sex happens, Vin. Don't act like I'm stupid and would believe anything."

"Don't treat me like I'm the only one who did something wrong!" Vin looked up and his face was all splotchy. He was hurt, but on the defensive because it was obvious that he expected to be comforted and not yelled at.

"I only kissed Blaine. You went ahead and fucked some other guy multiple times."

Vin got up off the floor. "I know! I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I tried to tell you. I came here a few weeks ago to tell you. That's why I was early. I felt horrible and needed to tell you. The only reason I didn't was because I saw you with _him_ and I got jealous. You were so happy with him and you're never that happy around me."

Kurt ignored the ploy to get him to sympathize with Vin's point of view. "And what's worse is that you let me invite your lover over for the weekend. What did you think? That we'd have one of those orgies you used to love so much?!"

"No!"

"Then what? Do you think that little of me that you could do that? I'll admit that I've done a lot of things over the past year, but _this_ doesn't even come close."

"Do you love him?"

"What?"

"Do you love him?"

Kurt was so taken back by what Vin was asking that he didn't even know how to answer. The topic of his feelings for Blaine wasn't what they were talking about. "Wha- That's not even- I don't know what you-"

"It's a simple question. Do you love the guy or not?"

"Whether or not I love him has nothing to do with how much of an asshole you are."

"Yes it does because I may have given my body away to Brady, but I don't think that's worse than if I gave my heart away. So tell me. Do you love him?"

There was silence. Kurt had never said it out loud or even to himself, but he knew. He was positive of how he felt now. "Yes."

Vin closed his eyes and sighed. It was like a bullet pierced him and went through the other side. "Do you love me?"

Kurt was silent again, but only because he didn't want to hurt Vin's feelings. He thought of how to answer him in the nicest way possible, but in the time it took to come up with an answer Vin had already found one for him. "Do you even _like _me?"

"It's not that. People grow. They either grow together or apart and you and I just grew apart."

"Grew apart? Kurt, up until I saw you walking up to the bar tonight, I thought nothing between us had changed. In fact, I thought things might be getting better because the weekend was going so well."

"How could you possibly think that?" Kurt answered. "You were having sex with another guy." More silence. "Do you like him?"

Vin averted eye contact and took a seat at the table. Kurt followed. "I don't know. I'm not in love with him, but I think I like him. It's just sex. Well, for me it was, anyway."

Kurt read between the lines. "Sean said something about the way Brady looks at you. Was it more than just sex for him?"

"Yeah. Three nights ago he came to me while Sean was sleeping to tell me that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me. He said that he'd leave Sean if I gave him a chance and all I had to do was say yes. He didn't even care if I remained with you or not. But I said no. I told him that I was in love with you and that I wanted my future to be with you."

"Why?'

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you want your future to be with me? You felt compelled to cheat on me and we fight all the time."

"I want my future to be with you because I love you. I changed my whole life because I wanted to be with you and I'm a much better person for having done that. I know I cheated and I know we fight, but none of that means that I don't love you with everything I am. I want to be with you, Kurt. I still think that we can fix this and make it better. We can start over again and work things through and be happy. We can fall in love with each other all over again. Just- please. Give me a chance to make this better?"

**Blaine**

Blaine sat in silence on his piano bench in his house. His shift at work had long since ended and he now sat alone, purposely secluding himself from everyone else. He didn't know what to do. He had tried to compose on his piano, but when he sat down and put his fingers on the ivories, nothing came. No matter what instrument he tried, no music came. He was muse-less.

He replayed the night's events in his head: the elation he felt when he saw Kurt sitting alone at the bar; then the disappointment that set in when Vin interrupted them. After everything Kurt and Blaine had been through over that past year, Blaine was done making excuses and hiding. If Kurt wanted to be with him then Blaine would have demanded for Kurt to make a choice this time, but they hadn't even had a chance to talk. The moment Blaine saw Vin, something in Blaine had snapped, like a trigger, and he couldn't keep the secret anymore. _Why did I do that? _"Vin needed to know at some point." _He didn't need to know right at that moment, in front of a very large crowd, in front of his boyfriend. _Just the word, boyfriend, put a sour taste in Blaine's mouth. He didn't want Vin to be Kurt's boyfriend. He wanted himself to have that title. He wanted to be Kurt's.

Blaine heard the doorbell ring downstairs, but he didn't budge. It was probably whatever food was being delivered. Most of the guys in the house were still awake because of an all night Call of Duty tournament they were playing and they ordered take out from some twenty-four hour place. It rang a second time then he heard voices mumbling. "Blaine!" Nick called out.

Blaine grabbed his wallet instinctually. _They're probably short on cash._ He sighed and trudged to the staircase. He rounded the first landing and stopped. It was like time froze. Kurt was standing at the bottom of the staircase. "Kurt."

"C-Can I come up?"

Blaine didn't answer with a verbal response. Instead he just nodded his head.

Kurt slowly stepped up the stairs, but Blaine didn't move. He was stunned that Kurt was there at all. Kurt stopped when he reached the step before the one Blaine was standing on. Their bodies were so close. Blaine could smell Kurt's cologne. He flinched and turned to walk up the rest of the stairs. They went into the music room and Kurt took off his coat, slinging it across the back of one of the chairs.

"I'm sorry," Blaine finally confessed, breaking the silence. "For everything. For the kiss, for the affair, for wanting to be invited into your room, for- fuck- everything." He sniffled and felt the lump rising in his throat.

"Why?"

That wasn't the response Blaine expected. "I screwed things up for you. I was more trouble than I was worth. The look on your face when you walked away told me everything you were too nice to say to me."

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't be sorry. I'm not completely innocent. I knew what I was doing, but I didn't stop myself. I wanted the best of both worlds, but that didn't exist. I couldn't have you both and I couldn't make you both happy. Trying to do that wasn't making me happy anyway. It was just a constant stream of lies that were coming out of my mouth."

"Was any of it real?"

"Yes."

"Which part?"

"When I was with you, I was completely honest. You knew everything, so there was nothing to hide. But… Vin… Telling him where I was, when I was really with you, giving excuses for not answered phone calls… I spent more time trying to make excuses to be with you than I spent trying to be with him."

"So, what happened when you left the bar?"

"We went back to my apartment and we fought. He cried and I cried. I told him everything… Then he said that maybe we could get past this and we could forgive each other one day if we worked on our relationship."

Blaine gritted his teeth, but released the tension quickly. "I see. Is that all?"

Kurt sighed and took a deep breath. "He had one condition…" He twisted his lips thinking about it and replaying the memory of it happening in his head. "He said that I could never see you again."

Blaine looked down into his own hands. The tears welled in his eyes, not knowing what Kurt's choice was. "But here you are."

"Here I am," Kurt repeated with no enthusiasm. It was like he was a drone and lost in thought. "Vin said that he could forgive me, if I chose him. Then he asked me what I wanted. He kept saying it: What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?" Kurt then went silent.

"What _do_ you want?" Blaine finally asked, looking Kurt in the eyes.

Kurt's eyes were rimmed red. A single tear rolled down his cheek. "You!" Kurt choked out. "I want _you_, Blaine. It's been you all along and I'm so stupid for all of this shit that happened. I told him I wanted you and only you and I told him that I love you. I don't care about my fears anymore and I can only hope that I'm not too late. I am so sorry that I put you through this. I-I-I" Kurt was choking on his own breath and tears were streaming down his face.

Blaine rushed over to Kurt and wrapped his arms around his slender body. Kurt held onto him tightly as his own breathing was ragged. Without warning Kurt pressed his lips to Blaine's.

"I love you," Blaine blurted out.

"I love you too. I love you. I love you and I'm so sorry it took so long for me to say it." They kissed again as if it had been years since their last.

"So," Blaine started when he peeled himself off Kurt, "this is it? You two…" he raised his eyebrows hoping Kurt would finish his sentence. "It's you and me now?"

Kurt nodded frantically. "If you'll still have me."

Blaine grabbed Kurt and pulled him in tightly. "Oh my God, of course! Always. I'll always have you. Fuck, Kurt. I love you so much." He was elated that finally, _finally_, Kurt would be his. All his and he wouldn't have to share him. He wouldn't have to explain anything to anyone. Kurt was his and they could just be together… finally. In his mind, all their problems might as well have never existed. All he cared about was that after everything they'd been through, they were finally together.

They stayed that way, holding one another for a long time. Neither one said anything, afraid of ending the moments they were having in case this whole thing were a dream. When they pulled apart both looked tired. "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"I'd really like that."

Blaine smiled. "Okay. Um. If you don't mind, I'm going to take a shower. But I'll meet you in my room?" Kurt returned Blaine's smile and nodded. They kissed softly, parting their lips, relieved that now it was completely okay to do this with no worries.

While Blaine was in the shower, Kurt sat on the corner of Blaine's bed at first, then started looking around his room at little things like his cologne bottles and array of watches. When Blaine returned in a towel, Kurt was looking intently at some pictures on Blaine's wall on the other side of his bed.

Blaine leaned gently against the frame of the door, his hair damp and his towel tied tightly around his waist. There was a smile on his face, watching Kurt examine things when he didn't know Blaine was there. "That's my brother," he said finally when Kurt was looking at a picture of he and his brother from High School.

The sound of Blaine's voice startled Kurt and he turned towards Blaine. "He's older than you."

"Ten years older." Blaine went over to a lamp on his bed side table and turned it on before going back to the light switch near the door and turned the overhead light off so that the room was now dimly lit. "He's my half-brother. My mother is dad's second wife."

"Oh."

Blaine smiled and looked at Kurt across the bedroom on the opposite side of the bed as Kurt. They stared nervously at each other. They both felt the same thing because they both knew what was about to happen. Their eyes roamed up and down then back to one another's eyes. Then slowly, very slowly, Blaine brought a nervous hand to his towel and removed it, letting it drop to the floor.

Kurt's hand went to the hem of his tight shirt and pulled it up over his head. He touched his chest and trailed his hand down to his belt buckle.

"Wait," Blaine said softly. He knelt onto the mattress and made his way over to Kurt's side. He gently removed Kurt's hands and replace them with his own. "Let me." Kurt's skin was so soft under his lips as he softly kissed Kurt's neck, unbuckling, unbuttoning, and unzipping his way to Kurt's hips. He knew Kurt's pants were much too tight to be able to just fall to the floor; so, he slowly pulled them down inch by inch until Kurt was able to step out of them on his own.

Kurt moaned quietly, feeling Blaine's breath and lips on his body. His kisses and the image of his body in Kurt's mind made Kurt swell in arousal. When Blaine knelt back up to kiss Kurt's lips, Kurt chanced a glance down and saw that Blaine had the same mark of arousal growing in his groin.

Blaine entwined his fingers with Kurt's and started to back up on the mattress. Kurt knelt onto the bed like Blaine and made his way to the center. Fingers caressed Kurt's hair, cheeks, and ears. Nails grazed Blaine's back and shoulders. A gentle tug on tufts of hair here and there. Lips wandered and tongues tangled, exploring every inch in reach before falling to crisp sheets.

Nothing was rushed and no feeling was spared. A half hour went by before a touch to Kurt's length was chanced. By then, both men were vibrating out of their bodies with want and need for the other. Kurt slid his hand down and wrapped it around Blaine's hard cock, mirroring Blaine's own actions and not five minutes later. After constant, tantalizing, titillating, pull and release, both Kurt and Blaine spill their warm over each other's fingers, onto the sheets, and on each other as well. It was quick, but neither was finished. That was something they both knew. They didn't wait this long for it to be over so simply. They continued to kiss and touch and ground against each other until they were both just as hard as before.

Kurt moved first this time. With Blaine underneath him and propped up against the headboard, Kurt made his way slowly, kissing and nipping his way down, down, down, to his desired spot. Kurt prize for his actions was Blaine's dick, hard once again, and at maximum length, leaking pre-cum. He licked it away with the tip of his tongue and looked up at Blaine at the same time. Blaine's lips were parted and his eyes were lust blown. Kurt had done the right thing. He was sure of it. He licked Blaine a few more times, teasing Blaine into groaning with need to be inside Kurt's mouth. He finally gave Blaine what he wanted when his mouth covered the head completely and began taking him in and out, up and down.

With one hand grasping the headboard with all the strength he had, Blaine's other hand went to wherever he could reached. He finally settled on resting it on the back of Kurt's head because he was starting to think that he might be petting Kurt and thought that would be weird if he were. He gulped and moaned, "Oh, Kurt." _So warm,_ he thought. "You feel so good." He stopped Kurt when he felt his stomach start to tighten. "You're gonna make me come if you keep doing that." He smiled as he said it, a little out of breath.

Kurt returned Blaine's smile with a smirk, his lips bruised, full, and beautiful. He slithered back up and their lips met. Their kiss was passionate and heated. Kurt inhaled sharply as Blaine reached behind him, found his entrance, and swirled his middle finger around and around. A moan escaped his throat and went into Blaine's mouth as if Blaine could swallow it and keep the sound for always. He moved up to straddle Blaine's hips, rocking his own little by little as Blaine's ministrations continued.

Minutes went by before Blaine whispered something about a drawer to Kurt and he stopped what he was doing to stretch over to his bedside drawer he pulled out a small strip of condoms and ripped one off. He also grabbed a bottle of lubrication oil and let it rest on the bed next to the condom. "Do you top or bottom?" Blaine asked.

"Both, but if it's okay, I'd really like it if you were inside me." Kurt bit his lip, nervously awaiting Blaine's answer.

Blaine smiled. "Of course it's okay." He pulled Kurt's face down to his and locked his lips to Kurt's, instantly passing his tongue into Kurt's mouth. After all their kiss, Blaine would never get over how amazingly wonderful it felt to have Kurt's lips on his.

Kurt pulled back and handled the condom wrapper, opening it and flicking the foil to the floor before rolling it onto Blaine and kissing him hard. Blaine fingered the bottle open and slicked his fingers with the liquid. He brought his hand back to Kurt's entrance and slid in his index finger to the knuckle.

Kurt bucked his hips and writhed in pleasure. He moaned and Blaine inserted his middle finger, scissoring the two. "Mm-more," Kurt stuttered.

Blaine wasn't going to wait to ask if Kurt was sure because he knew Kurt would just yell at him that _Yes he was sure!_ He just smiled and chuckled as he slid his other hand up Kurt's abs and chest. "You're so beautiful."

"Mm," Kurt moaned, unable to say anything else really.

"You're so gorgeous. I knew I wanted you to moment I saw you."

Kurt started grinding his hips down, fucking himself on Blaine's fingers, and rubbing his erection against Blaine's. His eyes fluttered open and he locked them with his lover. He moaned once more. "I love you. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Kurt leaned down and took Blaine's upper lip between his own. His closed eyelids twitched at the feel of Blaine's fingers eject themselves from his ass and he inhaled deeply when he felt the head of Blaine's penis graze against him. He'd already came once but the anticipation was building for the feeling of Blaine being inside him. He wanted it so bad. He'd dreamt about it and yearned for it, but was always too scared to admit that to have sex with Blaine Anderson would be more than just fucking. To have sex with Blaine would be committing an act of love. The soul completion kind of love and it took everything that happened to finally admit to himself that he'd rather risk Blaine leaving his life one day than to never have this at least once.

Blaine pushed himself into Kurt and they moaned breathy moans together in unison. He held tight of Kurt's hips and bucked up and down slowly at first, then faster and harder until the pleasure was so rampant that Kurt couldn't kneel anymore and he fell backwards. Blaine sat up and cuffed one arm around Kurt's middle and slid the other up his chest to keep Kurt down and relaxed. He continued to thrust as Kurt's hips raised higher.

"Ohmygodrightthere!" Kurt cried out in ecstasy. "Ohgoddon'tstop."

Blaine dropped himself forward, laying missionary on Kurt and thrust, fucked, and pushed as fast and hard as he could, wanting nothing more than to come and climax with Kurt. He got his wish as one last thrust sent them both over the edge, moaning and crying out various words and phrases.

Blaine rolled off Kurt and lay next to him. Both men were sweaty, sticky, and completely out of breath. They lolled their heads to the side and stared at each other with gaped mouths as if to say "You've got to be kidding me? That's what I missed out on?" It was above and beyond either one of their expectations to say the least.

When they both were able to breath properly and had come down off their high, Blaine sat up on his elbow and kissed Kurt. "I'm going to go get a wash cloth. Be right back."

"Kay." Kurt smiled and arched his back, watching Blaine's ass as he walked away. _This is right. This is how it should be,_ he thought. _This is how it should always have been._ Blaine returned a couple minutes later with two warm wash clothes and handed one to Kurt. "Your phone rang."

"It did?"

"Mmhmm." Kurt smiled and rolled over onto his stomach after he cleaned up and watched Blaine Kurt's phone rang from his pants pocket. Blaine got it for him and handed it to him with a kiss before looking at his own.

Kurt saw that he got a text from an unknown number, but the area code was the same as Vin's, so it was a Vermont number. He opened it up.

**I should thank you for getting out of the way, but you're such a little bitch for breaking Vin's heart.**

Kurt scrunched his eyes and realized that the sender was probably Brady and he didn't know how he got Kurt's number to begin with. He shut locked the screen and looked over to Blaine, who was reading a text of his own.

**Vin: I can't fucking stand you, but I want Kurt to be happy. Don't treat him like I did.**

"Blaine, are you okay?" Kurt asked, reading Blaine's face.

"Yeah. Vin just sent me a text. No problem." Blaine put his phone back on the table and crawled back into bed with Kurt.

"What did he say?"

"That he can't stand me, but he wants you to be happy and for me not to treat you the way he did." He pecked Kurt on the nose.

Kurt smiled. "Yeah. If our sex life is like this, I doubt you'd start fucking other people behind my back like he did." He moved to kiss Blaine again.

Blaine kissed him quickly, but kept his eyes open as the thought of Kurt's words digested in his brain. "He cheated on you?"

"Yeah. He's been sleeping with Brady since just after Christmas, or something like that." Kurt instantly became worried when Blaine looked away from Kurt, licked his lips, and got up off the bed.

Blaine went over to his dresser and pulled out a pair of cotton pajama pants and pulled them on. He wasn't looking at Kurt, but Kurt could see in the mirror that Blaine was upset.

"What's wrong?" Blaine started collecting Kurt's clothes and Kurt got up off the bed. "Blaine, what's the matter?"

He shoved the pile of Kurt's clothes into Kurt's chest. "You need to leave."

"What?! Why?"

"Just get out of here!" Blaine yelled.

There was silence because Kurt had never been screamed at like that by Blaine and it startled him. He really took in Blaine's expression and found that he wasn't angry, he was hurt. He was holding in a lot of emotions behind a clenched jaw. Kurt didn't understand. Five minutes ago they were as happy as they have ever been and now Blaine was kicking him out. He put his clothes back on and headed for the door. He scratched his eyebrow when he reached the door frame and turned back. "What did I do?"

"He cheated on you so you left him."

"I only found out about it tonight."

"Even worse!" Blaine exclaimed with wide eyes. "You came running to me the same night you find out your boyfriend is fucking around. How is that supposed to make me feel?"

"It's not like that," Kurt pleaded. Tears starting to rim his eyes. "I didn't even care that he cheated. I've always known that I cared about you more."

"Then why didn't you choose me a long time ago? We've been doing this dance for a year now and I've been nothing but open and honest and patient. I told you that I wouldn't be your second choice."

"But you're not!" Kurt cried as tears rolled down his cheeks. "Blaine, I love you!"

"Don't say that!"

"Blaine, please, _please,_ don't do this. I love you and you love me too, right?"

Blaine clenched his jaw again and held back tears of his own. He took a deep breath. "This isn't something I'm doing. This is happening because you fucked up, Kurt. You fucked up royally and I wouldn't plan on coming back because I'm not falling for it again. I wasted a whole year on loving you, hoping that you'd see what was right in front of you, and wishing that you'd take a chance on something that could have been perfect. I thought _you _were perfectly imperfect, if that makes any sense, but I was wrong."

"No, Blaine, this is crazy. Let me fix this, please?"

"You can't fix this! You fucked up, Kurt, and now you're going to feel how I've felt time and time again… let down, but the only person you have to blame is yourself." His chest was heaving because he was breathing so hard to keep the tears at bay. "So, just go. I'm not going to change my mind and there's nothing you can do to make any of this better. It's over."

"Blaine, I-"

"Just go. I don't want any sorries or explanations."

Kurt gulped and wiped his face. He wanted to leave Blaine one last apology or one last 'I love you' because after everything, he wasn't able to say it as many times as Blaine deserved to hear it. He stood there, staring, unable to make himself move.

"I said get out of here!" Blaine yelled again.

The volume startled Kurt once more and he swallowed hard, taking one last look at Blaine, and left.

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><p>Okay, please don't hate me... Please have faith in me. There is a method to my madness and only one way this could end. Trust me. It's been leading up to my epilogue.<p>

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	37. Epilogue

**I decided to release these last two chapters together because after careful thought. I really couldn't leave you with no hope or a bad thought. So, here's the final chapter to The Chances We Take.**

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><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

**Blaine**

Years past. Two. Three. It may have been four and Blaine had simply lost count of the last time he spoke to, or even saw Kurt. He'd had a string of relationships in those years since his disastrous attempt at winning Kurt's heart. Some relationships were promising and could have last a lot longer than what they did, but Blaine wasn't ever really fully invested in any of them. He felt bad for the ones that got away because he always felt that he was just using them or keeping them around until the next best thing turned up in tight pants and perfectly coiffed hair. But none of them were the best.

The ones that he really shouldn't have wasted his time in usually ended with Blaine getting punched in the balls or a drink being thrown in one of their faces. One time, an overly jealous boyfriend saw Blaine flirting with a customer at the bar, while he was working, and he jumped over the bar and sprayed Blaine with a hose that landed ginger ale all over him.

Even music wasn't the same. He was convinced that the only reason he was still in the same band with Jeff and Nick was because they wouldn't let him quit. He hadn't written a song in a long time that was any good and Matty pretty much gave up on being in the band because of Blaine's drama and started a new band. Jeff always pointed out that Matty's new band wasn't really good and on a drunken night, Matty punched Jeff in the face at a Battle of the Bands after party for saying so. Blaine, of course, had Jeff's back and got escorted out of the bar for saying that Matty could always rejoin his old band as a back up singer. At least he might have people listening to his music then. They had never really made up after Matty kept inserting his opinions about Kurt all those years ago. Matty was too nosy for his own good.

But one hot, summer day changed all that.

Blaine had just gotten out of an audition for another pianist job for a new Broadway show and decided to hop into the nearest coffee shop to grab an iced coffee. The weather was sweltering and humid and no one in their right mind was hanging outside. Blaine had walked only three blocks and he already felt sticky from the humidity and heat. The coffee shop was packed and everyone seemed to have the same idea as Blaine. No one had anywhere to go when they could sit in a place with air conditioning.

He got in line, not caring that the line was almost out the door. The cool air suddenly made his skin perfectly aware that he had been sweating and he wiped his brow. Moving out of the way of a woman trying to leave, the sun had shone down on the face of a wrist watch from across the room and caught Blaine right in the eye. He shielded his eye instantly and when he turned his head away he saw him. _Him._ Kurt.

Kurt sat at a table in the corner with a half eaten muffin and an empty cup of coffee. A briefcase was at his side and folders filled with paperwork was all over the table. He had his face buried in them. It was like nothing had changed since the first time Blaine walked into a coffee shop and saw him sitting there the morning after they first met. He was still beautiful as ever.

Blaine had never went out of his way to stay out of places that he and Kurt used to go to, but in all these years, he had never seen him. Not at bars, movie theaters, Broadway theaters, parties, coffee shops… no where. Not once. But he'd long forgiven Kurt for what happened because the way he saw it, it was a long time ago and he can't change the past. He did try his best to not think about Kurt because even though he felt Kurt strung him along, he still felt something for him because under all the back and forth and insecurities, Kurt was his dream guy. He was fun and gorgeous and had an amazing heart. He was smart and talented. Through all of their problems, Blaine always felt drawn to Kurt in ways he couldn't explain.

With the endless string of relationships Blaine had, he knew now that after he lost Kurt, he was still trying to find him again. He looked for him in every man he dated, slept with, and had relationships with. In some it was the way they dress or styled their hair. Those were the ones that ended badly because he saw Kurt on the surface.

The ones that could have and should have lasted longer, showed traits of Kurt's inner beauty. The endless amount of caring for everyone around them, the delicate way they handled emotions; everyone of them was Kurt, but none of them truly was. As the saying goes: there could only be one.

**Kurt**

After what happened with Vin and Blaine, Kurt's personal life was changed drastically. He knew he had to change and be comfortable with himself before letting himself share his life. Unfortunately, years had passed and even after he grew love himself again, he remained single. He had thrown himself into his work and dedicated himself to that. He spent more time with Puck and his family and on weekends, instead of bar hopping and looking to fill an empty hole, he took classes. He took a pottery class, a class on how to make accessories, he and Rachel took a self defense class once, but after Rachel accidentally broke Finn's nose, Rachel stopped going. He convinced Puck to go running with him on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and lastly, he chaperoned countless school functions. His life was beginning to form a purpose again.

That's not to say that he was completely happy. No amounts of self work could make him feel better about what he did to Vin and especially Blaine. Sometimes it seemed like every good deed he did was to squash the guilt he felt about hurting Blaine.

At first, he went out of his way to avoid places that Blaine could have been, but over time those places became okay again and he's return from time to time. Unlike, Blaine, he did see Blaine around, but whenever he saw him, he would turn and go the other direction or leave. He didn't want to bother Blaine or cause any more trouble for him. He missed him often. Without Blaine, he didn't really have a best friend that he could talk to the way he did Blaine anymore. There was Rachel, but Rachel was sometimes judgmental and Blaine knew how to listen more. Puck was a man's man and didn't know how to listen all the time either. Puck was a man who wanted to fix things, so if Kurt went to him to talk, Puck wanted to fix Kurt's problems instead of just being an ear for him to vent. No one was as perfect as Blaine.

Every week, almost, he'd go somewhere and see a flier from Blaine's band about a concert or show somewhere. When the nights hit him that he missed Blaine the most, he'd go to the concerts and hide, just to listen to Blaine's voice. He made sure that Blaine never saw him though. He listened as the music changed over the years and knew that if the songs being sung where written by Blaine, they weren't a reflection of his life anymore. He often wondered how Blaine was and desperately wanted to find out, but he stuck to leaving him alone because he felt it was best. He didn't want to ruin Blaine's life anymore.

All in all, his life was good and he was content until he thought of Blaine. Over time, he thought of Blaine less, but there wasn't a day that went by where he didn't think of Blaine at least once. He thought he'd done a good job of leaving Blaine alone so that Blaine could heal and learn to be happy again, but one day; one hot, sticky, summer day; all of that changed.

_Plunk_. A mug was put down near the edge of the table where he sat at a coffee shop. It startled him and he looked at the liquid inside. Hot tea with lemon.

There was only one person who knew he liked hot tea with a lemon wedge.

Kurt didn't dare to look up. Instead, his hand slowly and delicately covered the top of the mug and he stared at a chip on the handle.

"You were scowling," the voice said.

He gulped. "Thank you." Nerves crept up on Kurt quickly.

"Can I sit down?"

Kurt nodded swiftly, still not making eye contact.

"Hi." Silence. "Can you please look at me? It's been a while."

Kurt finally brought his eyes up and saw him. Blaine. Still gorgeous, Blaine Anderson. "It's been four years."

"That long?" Blaine itched his forehead. "It feels that long."

Kurt nodded, trying to avert his eyes again.

"I guess I kept thinking that I'd run into you sooner than four years, but…" He trailed off, reading Kurt's expression. "Would you rather have not seen me?"

"No!" Kurt finally piped up. He reached his hand across the table, knocking over a pile of files onto the other side of the table and touching Blaine's fingertips on the edge of the table. "Stay. Please. I… I'm sorry. I guess I just…"

"Yeah. Me too," Blaine answered, though only assuming he was thinking the same thing.

"S-so how are you?"

A small part of Blaine wanted to tell Kurt that he was great and everything was wonderful in his life even though he was pretty sure that nothing was wonderful. He took a deep breath. "Uh," he scratched the back of his head. "Kind of miserable actually."

"Really?" Kurt looked at Blaine sympathetically. "I'm sorry to hear that." He was so sure that Blaine would pick his life up and move on from the last time they saw each other. Blaine was so much stronger than Kurt was and Kurt would have bet money on Blaine turning his life around ten times better than Kurt had.

Blaine rocked his head as he considered something. "Not nearly as sorry as I am to realize that I said it and it's true. I mean, at what point was this supposed to get easier? I blink my eyes and suddenly I'm thirty and alone. Nick and David are married and I'm still bartending, hoping to get another job for a Broadway show."

Kurt went into counselor mode and slid the other half of his muffin over to Blaine. He also poured half of the tea Blaine got him into his empty coffee cup and gave the rest of the tea to Blaine. "Do you feel stuck?"

"Extremely. I feel like I keep trying to get twenty six back, but the further away from it I get, the more I just fuck everything up."

"Why do you think that?"

Blaine fingered the uneaten muffin a little and crumbled a piece off. He squished it under his finger and licked the pieces that stuck to it off. "I've lost friends and didn't think twice about it because I was so self-destructive that I stopped caring. I went through men and relationships like it was nothing and I don't miss any of them. Well," he paused. "I guess I miss one, but I sort of ruined that for myself." He took another bit of the muffin and sipped the tea. He looked across the table at Kurt and saw that the nervous expression was gone and now he wore one of caring and openness.

"Were you purposely self-destructive or was it an accident?"

"Don't psychologists believe there are no real accidents?"

The smallest of smiles flickered across Kurt's lips and then disappeared just as quickly. "I wouldn't say that."

"I mean, it wasn't an accident that I walked into this coffee shop and sat down with you."

"I think what you're describing is cause and effect within a realm of choices. You see, you _chose_ to come to this coffee shop for whatever reason. Then you _chose_ to come over when you saw me. You could have chosen some other coffee shop and you could have chosen to ignore me when you saw me."

"Right," Blaine mumbled sarcastically. _As if I could choose to ignore your presence._ "So, what about you?" he asked. "How has life treated you?"

"Um. Okay. I work a lot. That's about it."

"I can see that." Judging by the amount of paperwork, he assumed Kurt had kept himself busy. "So, four years… just work?"

"Yeah kind of. I took a few odds and ends classes like painting and stuff, but mostly it was just to keep busy. But I don't want to talk about that."

"What do you wanna talk about?"

"I want to talk about you some more. Is that okay?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Why do you think you're stuck at twenty-six?"

"Because that's when everything stopped."

"What do you mean?"

"Kurt…" Silence again. Blaine was trying to speak with his eyes, but Kurt wasn't trying to have a telepathic conversation, even though he looked back into Blaine's honey eyes just like he used to. "I was twenty-six when the last time we saw each other."

Kurt cleared his throat and broke their eye contact. "I know." He looked down. There was another bout of silence. "So, is that what we're talking about now?"

"Yeah… I guess so." He waited for Kurt to look up again. "I want you to know that I forgave you a long time ago. Everyone makes mistakes and it was a long time ago."

Now it was Kurt's turn. "I don't know if this means anything now, but I'm sorry. I know it looked and sounded bad, but it wasn't really the way it seemed."

"It's in the past, Kurt."

"Not for me." At first he averted his eyes, but then he forced himself to look Blaine in the eyes because he needed to get this right. "I've waited all this time to tell you that I think about that night everyday. I've spent four years trying to atone for something that I can never make right. Never in my life did I think that I could be that cruel to someone. And of all people… I was cruel to you. I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"Yes you do. Everyone deserves forgiveness at some point in their life. Whether you feel like you deserve it or not, you have it. Please don't hate yourself over this anymore."

"The thing is, looking back on the past decade, you were the only person I ever loved and look how I treated you."

"You were scared."

"Like that's an excuse?"

"Kurt, you'd never been in an adult relationship. I mean, you were an adult and in relationships, but you were never in a relationship where a future was a definite. The closest thing to one you had was Vin and look how that went."

"Doomed from the start," Kurt said as he thought about Vin, something he hadn't done often. "Mistakes are how we learn. If we're lucky, we won't hurt anyone in the process, but unfortunately, it happens. And unfortunately it was me who was hurt, but you weren't without pain either."

"How could you be the one comforting me on this?" Kurt asked with a barely there smile.

Blaine actually did smile. "I had a lot of time to think about this and come to terms with it."

"I see."

"And for the record, since you said it, I loved you too." This finally broke Kurt from his shell and Blaine was able to see the twenty-four year old Kurt that was frantically running back to the library to save his place at a table. "God, you are still beautiful." Blaine was lost in the moment and didn't even realize that he said that out loud.

"You look like you've got a couple gray hairs," Kurt teased.

Blaine laughed. "You're probably right."

"Do you believe in fate, Blaine?"

Blaine really thought about it. "Maybe. Do you?"

"I never did. Just choices and consequences."

"And now?"

"I think my mind might be changing."

"I don't believe in fate."

"You don't?"

"No. I used to, but over the years I think it changed to me believing in chances. Good chances and bad chances. There are ones that you take and ones that you don't."

"But what if the universe pushes for those chances to end up a certain way?"

"Then I guess the result would be us."

Kurt smiled. "And what's that?"

"Two people who keep getting pushed together through accidents, mistakes, choices, both good and bad, and even though we keep deciding that this time would be the last time… here we are. It's been over five years since we met and we're still sitting across from each other."

"Is that what this is? A chance?"

"Maybe."

"So, what do we do?"

"It'd be a shame to give the universe one more thing to do, wouldn't it? There are much more important things to deal with than two people who keep missing their chance."

"It would be, wouldn't it?" Both men smiled a real smile for what felt like the first time in years. Everything else up until now was a lie until they smiled upon each other again.

"Do you wanna go catch a movie or something?" Blaine asked, still looking deep in Kurt's eyes.

Kurt immediately started clearing the table of his paperwork and folders and files. "I'd love to."

Blaine helped then piled the untouched tea and uneaten muffin into one mug. He left it there for the waitress to come and pick up and left with Kurt into the hot, sticky, heat of the summer. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't we drop all your stuff off, then catch a train to Coney Island? If you don't have anything planned, at dusk they're playing a movie. We can sit on the grass and watch after spending the afternoon playing around the different attractions."

"I haven't been there in a very long time."

"Neither have I."

"Okay. Great. Um. I still live in the same place, so, we have to take the train around the corner."

"Sounds good to me." Blaine responded.

Kurt couldn't believe the turn of events. When he woke up this morning, it was just another day. Another lonely day where he'd focus on work. But here he was walking next to Blaine, of all people, and feeling Blaine's hand slip into his as they continued to walk.

And even as he drifted off to sleep early the next morning, he could still feel the warmth of Blaine's hand because Blaine was still holding it. He dreamt of the past and of the future he so longed for. When he woke up and saw that Blaine sleeping next to him wasn't a dream after all, he started to think that maybe Blaine was right and that maybe there were only chances to take. Maybe life was only full of chances and it was up to you to take them or let them go. Maybe Kurt and Blaine weren't meant for each other when they were teenagers and that's why they never spoke at competitions. Maybe they weren't meant for each other at twenty-four or twenty-five because they needed to learn something. But if the universe kept putting them together, there could only be one explanation for it and it would be that Kurt and Blaine, whatever the age, were meant to be together. If one thing was for sure, Kurt would not miss his chance this time.

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><p><strong>I told you not to lose faith in me and that I had a plan. Did you really think that I'd NOT have Klaine as endgame? :P<strong>

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews and comments on tumblr.**

**I assure you that this is not my last one and I have others in mind and also Bluebird to finish (I have not completely abandoned that one.) So look for me because I'll be around.**

**xoxo Grace**

**Please Review!**

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